


The Light in the Dark

by WordsmithDee



Category: Avengers, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2017-12-09 09:13:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 127,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsmithDee/pseuds/WordsmithDee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agent Clint Barton and Darcy Lewis strike up a strange sort of friendship after he's left to guard Dr. Jane Foster after the events in New Mexico. Now, as everyone tries to recover from the aftermath of Loki's attack on New York City they meet again.  Barton tries to come to terms with what he did under Loki's control and Darcy grieves for someone very important who was lost. Their friendship is strained, she only wants to help, but his guilt prevents him from letting her get close. Can Darcy help Clint heal or is it too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shadowed

**Author's Note:**

> This was my NaNoWriMo project for 2012. It's long and very angsty. I want to thank my best friend, Aphy, for being my rock through the entire writing and editing process. This story would be just a gleam in my eye without her pushing me to write it. I also want to thank two very special ladies who I befriended on Tumblr, who offered to beta for me and whip it into shape, StitchinLiz and katieuplate. Also, I don't own any of the characters. I just play with them for my own amusement.

_Present Day_

The funeral had been earlier that day. Now that night had fallen the roof top of the Avengers Tower was her only solace. Inside, the Avengers, along with their closest friends and S.H.I.E.L.D colleagues, were gathering to pay homage to the one man they all respected. But Darcy Lewis didn't want to be surrounded by the people who knew Agent Phil Coulson best; it was just too much for her to be in the company of people who knew more about the man than she did. She wanted to do her grieving and remembering in private, the way their relationship had always been, and the rooftop was the only place she could escape it all.

She wrapped her arms around her stomach for comfort as she stood near the edge of the roof, staring blankly out at the bright lights of the skyscrapers of the New York City. It was so different than what she was used to that she couldn't help but to feel completely out of place. The city was intimidating and she wasn't afraid to admit it to herself, if not out loud. Which was laughable, a city scaring her more than the things she'd experienced in the last year.

She realized that focusing on the city was just an escape. It was okay to grieve and there was not a single person who would condemn her it. Only she wasn't ready to let go of Phil Coulson. She wasn't ready to admit that he was gone and would never be back. Perhaps it was selfish, but she felt she earned the right to be selfish. After all, she never said anything, protested or insisted on remaining in the States; instead she went without a word with Jane, where she would be safe so he would not worry about her. So being selfish wasn't something she worried herself over.

Maybe it was guilt that was holding her back, preventing her from crying and letting go of the one man who had supported her and held her up through all the bad times. Guilt that she survived. Guilt that she never made an effort to get to know the man who supported her so much through her life.

  
Her eyes burned with tears that refused to fall. Her chest ached like she physically had her heart ripped out. The last time she felt like this was when her mother had died. Only it wasn't going to be like the last time because Phil was gone. Before when her mother died, Phil had been there. Now there was no Phil to hold her and tell her it was going to be all right.

Oh, how his colleagues would be surprised to know that the normally stoic and silent ninja agent had been the one to hold her when she cried, had been the one to stroke and soothe away the emptiness that followed her mother's death. How shocked they would be to know that Darcy Lewis was more than just Dr. Jane Foster's clumsy and inept lab assistant. It made her smile, just a little, to imagine the looks on all the faces of the Avengers and agents below when they eventually learned that Darcy Lewis was Phil Coulson's niece.

“Oh Phil,” Darcy muttered under her breath.

Two people knew the truth of their relationship. Nick Fury because he was fucking Nick Fury. Fury had been the one who had told her the news when she had stormed the helicarrier demanding to know where Agent Coulson was. And oh boy, how surprised he had been when she stormed his office. Without meaning to, Darcy closed her eyes and thought of that moment.

_The whirling of the quinjet's engines died away slowly. Without waiting for clearance, Darcy unsnapped her restraints and jumped up. The sick feeling, one that had formed when she reached Manhattan just hours ago, knotted in her stomach as she ignored Jane's protests and hit the release on the ramp. She didn't even wait for the ramp to fully descend before she darted out. The calls of the pilot and co-pilot went unnoticed as she stood on the helicarrier and looked around for someone who could direct her to the right place._

_Her eyes landed on the slender figure of someone she only recognized from stories her uncle had told her. Stiffening her spine she stalked forward and glared up at Maria Hill. “Agent Hill. Where the hell is Agent Coulson?”_

_Hill blinked once, the only sign of surprise at Darcy's demand, and crossed her arms over her chest. “Darcy Lewis?”_

  
_“None other. Now, Agent Coulson?”_

  
_“Come with me.”_

  
_Darcy opened her mouth and then clamped it shut an instant later. It was clear that Agent Hill had no intention of explaining anything. Just like Agents Barton and Romanoff. Now that had surprised her, probably as much as her and Jane's appearance in Central Park that afternoon had surprised them. It robbed her of the impression that nothing surprised S.H.I.E.L.D agents. But since she had spent a fair amount of time with Agent Barton last summer after the incident with Thor and the Giant Robot of Doom, Darcy had figured that he would at least answer her questions. That assumption had been shattered when both Barton and Romanoff remained tight lipped, only exchanging unreadable looks._

  
_She put the two agents she bullied into bringing her to the helicarrier -- and seriously, how good were these guys if they let a twenty-two year old bully them? -- out of her mind and followed Agent Hill inside the bridge. She only had the briefest impressions of the banks of computers, controls and all the moving bodies that were keeping this monstrous machine in the air before Hill led her down a short hallway._

  
_Hill stopped in front of a door and knocked briskly twice. There was a pause and then a deep voice that said, “Enter.”_

  
_“Darcy Lewis,” Agent Hill announced as she opened the door._

  
_Darcy ignored a sharp look from Hill as she shoved past the woman and stalked through the door and stopped short. Rising from behind a desk was a very tall, very scary-looking black man. He was clad head to toe in leather, from his boots all the way up to the creepy eye patch. Her eyes were riveted on the scars that the patch didn't hide. Like she had known Agent Hill, Darcy knew who this man was without having met him._

  
_Nerves tickled her throat and she shoved them down as she addressed the man in front of her. “Director Fury, where the hell is Agent Coulson?”_

  
_“Agent Hill,” Fury said without looking away from Darcy._

  
_Hill nodded with one sidelong glance of disapproval at Darcy. “Understood sir.”_

  
_Hill disappeared and closed the door behind her. Darcy just stared at Fury, her lips twisted in a scowl. She was probably overreacting and Phil would be upset with her, but the fact that no one was talking about Phil made the worry that started in back at Tromso worse. Maybe now she'd finally get some answers. And if she didn't, well the fury she'd unleash would make the destruction of New York City seem like child's play._

  
_Darcy took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Director Fury, I'm sure that you have plenty of work to do after the incident in New York, but I demand to know where Agent Coulson is.”_

  
_“You are like him, you know? Only more vocal and volatile,” Fury commented._

  
_“Excuse me?” Darcy asked._

  
_“Your uncle. His restraint is more impressive, but I imagine that you'll develop restraint over time.”_

  
_Darcy blinked once. “You know?”_

  
_“I know everything, Miss Lewis. About you, about Elizabeth.”_

  
_She glared at him at the mention of Elizabeth and almost snapped at him for even mentioning her. The glint in Fury's eyes told her that would be a bad idea, so barely controlling her anger, she hissed, “Then how about you share with me why I haven't heard from Uncle Phil in three days? Or why everyone I’ve asked in the last twenty-four hours suddenly has laryngitis? ‘Cause frankly, if I'm not told something or I don't see him within the next ten minutes, I'm going to show you a new kind of hell and I don't give a damn how scary you are.”_

  
_Darcy almost swallowed her tongue despite her claims of not caring how scary he was when Fury smiled at her, instead of being intimidated. The smile was frightening, probably because of the eye patch. But instead of actually feeling fear, she was almost comforted. Whatever that meant._

  
_Then Fury's expression turned somber and Darcy knew that whatever was going to come out of his mouth was going to be something she would not like._

  
_“Miss Lewis, it pains me greatly to tell you that Agent Phil Coulson was killed in the line of duty two days ago.”_

  
_And just like that the world Darcy Lewis had known completely shattered around her._

  
It was hard to believe that it had only been yesterday when she had been told that her Uncle was dead...that he had died protecting the Earth. That the crazy batshit insane fucker named Loki had killed him. It made Darcy burn with anger to think that Thor, kind and gentle in a 'I can crush you with my bare hands' kind of way Thor, had a brother who was so deranged that he not only tried to take over the world but that he had personally killed her uncle in cold blood.

  
If Thor and Loki hadn't already left, Darcy was sure she'd would have killed the god or at least died trying.

  
Now she was left with the bitter taste of regret on her tongue. It killed her, more than anything, to realize and accept that even though Phil Coulson had been her uncle and that she loved him, she didn't really know him. Not unlike an absentee father, Phil Coulson had come and gone in her life so much that all she really had were brief memories of him stopping by and visiting the woman his deadbeat brother had knocked up. The first time Darcy had really spent time with Phil had been in New Mexico after the Thor incident and even then it had been just brief encounters as he did his job.

  
And even worse than knowing Phil was dead? It was the fact that the only person other than Nick Fury who knew that Phil was her uncle was flat out avoiding her. And that was something she just couldn't figure out. It wasn't like they were best friends and she expected him to drop everything to be at her side, but she had expected something from him. Getting nothing was just another rip in her heart.

  
She sighed and let her arms fall to her side as she stared out at the skyline.

 

 

 

 

OoOoO

Maybe there were worse things than having to stand around and listen to people lament about the man you basically killed, but if there was, then Clint Barton had no idea what they it could be. To him, being trapped in this room with the multitude of people from S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers who gathered to drink and reminiscence over Phil Coulson, was a fate worse than death. It was suffocating and painful. An emotion that was multiplied by the fact that every time he met someone's eyes, he saw a mixture of pity and suspicion. The pity he couldn't stand and the suspicion just pissed him off.

  
He helped save the goddamn world, for Christ's sake. Hadn't he proved that he was beyond Loki's control? Hadn't Thor confirmed that Loki no longer had a hold on Clint's mind? And wasn't it enough that he was dealing with his own guilt for the part he unwillingly played in getting one of the best men he knew killed?

  
It didn't matter to him that he had no control over what he had said and done. It mattered that as much as he fought, he couldn't throw off the control Loki exerted over his mind. All that mattered was, despite the reassurances of the Avengers and the repeated declarations of his partner, he was the one who caused the chaos on the helicarrier that allowed Loki to escape his prison. It had been the information that he had provided that allowed Loki to create his plan and pull it off. And it had been because he had been weak that Loki had the opportunity to kill Coulson.

  
Clint remembered the sick feeling and the hours he had spent bent over the toilet, losing everything in his stomach, when Natasha had told him. She waited until after the battle for New York City to tell him about how Loki murdered Coulson. The guilt was hanging even more heavily on his shoulders hours after the funeral. A good man, a good agent, was gone because he hadn't been able to break the hold of Loki in time. For that alone Clint wanted to kill Loki. Being mind fucked was something he'd eventually get over. It wasn't like he lived an easy life, however weird it got at times. He could even one day forget the chaos Loki caused by opening that goddamn portal and unleashing those alien freaks on New York. But killing Coulson? Killing the one man who had stood by him and supported him even when he bent or broke the rules? Yeah. That was unforgivable.

  
Clint shook his head to clear his thoughts, knowing that it was way too dangerous to get lost in those murderous thoughts in the middle of a crowd who on some level or another blamed him. He glanced up and saw that Natasha was giving him a worried look. His lips twitched in what he hoped was a reassuring smile. It obviously failed to convince Natasha because she frowned. When she moved to go to him, he shook his head once sharply. She paused and glanced over when Stark called her name.

  
He took that as a chance to escape, slipping around the people that stood between him and the door with the ease only an experienced assassin would have. Once he reached the staircase, he headed up. The roof he knew was one place he would be left alone. There he would find the silence he craved and he could get lost in his own thoughts.

  
He was silent as he pushed open the access door to the roof and for one second he stared in stunned silence at the figure standing next to the ledge. He remembered not seeing her inside but he just thought she had gone to her room. If he had even the slightest clue that Darcy Lewis would be on the roof, he would have gone somewhere else. Anywhere but here. If there was one person he honestly did not want to see, it was her.

  
Not because it was her per se, but because when she was in the same room as him, the guilt he carried almost tripled. He had, by complete chance, discovered that she was Phil Coulson's niece the previous summer while guarding Dr. Foster after the incident with the Asgardians. Coulson was so close-mouthed about his private life that the fact he had a niece and she was neck-deep in the whole mess had been a complete shock and surprise. He was certain that Coulson never planned on revealing their connection, but when Clint had accidentally walked in on Darcy telling Phil that her grandmother missed him, there really had been no going back. Despite Darcy's insistence, there really were no Men in Black memory devices in S.H.I.E.L.D.

  
He let the door close behind him quietly, almost rolling his eyes when Darcy gave no indication that she had heard him come out. The girl really had no self awareness when it came to her safety. He stood in front of the closed door, trying to decide what he should do. It would be all too easy to slip back inside, she didn't know he was here. But a small voice in his head, one that sounded strangely like Phil Coulson, told him not to be a fucking coward. Clint had to admit that he had been avoiding Darcy. He wasn't sure how much she knew. Did she know that he was responsible for the attack on the helicarrier that led to her uncle's death? Did she know what he had done when he had been under the control of Loki?

  
The guilt surged once more and with a struggle he shoved it down. Logically he knew that ignoring the guilt and not dealing with it was unhealthy. But he also knew that if he confessed to what a mess he was, his ass would be in the therapist chair quicker than he could blink and he'd be off active duty. Maybe no one trusted him, but Clint had to keep working. He had to prove that he was loyal only to S.H.I.E.L.D.

  
Maybe he made some sort of noise or maybe Darcy was tired of standing on the roof, but she turned and froze when she saw him. Clint opened his mouth and then closed it, not knowing what he could say to her. It was a first, since he and Darcy had gotten along pretty well the previous summer. Talking was something they hadn't had a problem with. In fact, he remembered many evenings spent up on the rooftop of Jane Foster's lab where they had passed the time by laughing, exchanging jokes, debating movies, music, and just chatting.

  
Now he had nothing to say, which was just fucking stupid because there was plenty he could say to her. If only he wasn't a coward. First he couldn't tell her about Coulson when she asked, leaving that horrible task up to Fury, and then he spent the next twenty-four hours avoiding her like the plague. And now he was just speechless as she stared at him, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

  
He couldn't help but to notice how she looked in the modest black dress she wore. It suited her and it was frankly just weird to see her not wearing one of those godawful sweaters and hats she seemed to love in New Mexico. It wasn't like he had expected her to dress like that for the funeral, hell, even he had worn a suit, but he had expected her to change into something more comfortable after they got back to the Tower. If it hadn't been for the glasses and the hair, Clint wouldn't have recognized her.

  
“Agent Barton,” Darcy finally said with just a touch of ice in her voice.

  
He nodded once and carefully avoided her eyes. Tears unsettled him. “Miss Lewis.”

  
“I'll just get out of your way,” Darcy said when he didn't say anything else, walking quietly towards him.

  
Clint stepped aside, opened his mouth to tell her that she wasn't in his way, but closed it when the words wouldn't form. He was such a fucking idiot. All that comfort and ease that they had shared in New Mexico was gone and it was all his fault because he didn't know how to deal with his fucking feelings.

  
Darcy paused by the door, waited to see if he was going to say something. When he didn't, she just sighed and left, leaving Clint alone with his thoughts. Funny how not even ten minutes ago, it was the one thing he wanted most and now the silence was so deafening that he longed for something fill it.


	2. First Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy reunites with her uncle and Agent Barton stumbles onto a well kept secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention it before, but the first part of the story alternates between the present (after Avengers) and the past (directly after Thor). So this is a past chapter.
> 
> I don't own any of the characters.
> 
> And big thanks to my bestie and my tumblr friends for doing an amazing job with beta'ing. Without them, this wouldn't be here.

_The Previous Summer_

 

Darcy grumbled as she watched the jack-booted thugs, to borrow a phrase from Dr. Selvig, from S.H.I.E.L.D. carry in boxes of Jane's equipment. She was put in charge of overseeing the return of the stolen/borrowed items. As if she didn't have anything better to do. Truth was, she really didn't have anything better to do. Unless listening to Jane drone on about Thor counted. Which, after forty-eight hours of straight moaning and promises to get Thor back one way or another, it didn’t. She had done her duty and now all she really wanted to do was curl up with her laptop and email her grandmother and check to see if she had any new school assignments.

Instead she was overseeing black-clad agents carry in boxes after boxes. And when they left, she'd have to go through them and catalog everything just to make sure that all Jane's equipment and research had been returned. The only upside to the task was the fact that she wouldn't have to wait to search for her iPod.

She jerked in surprise as someone cleared their throat behind her. Turning quickly, Darcy met the clear blue eyes of the last person she had honestly expected to see in New Mexico. When he had turned up three days before, it had taken all her control not to fling herself in his arms. It was hard since the last time she had seen him was three years ago at her mother's funeral.

Her lips twitched, just barely, as she met his even stare. Of course he would give away nothing. He was way too good at this subterfuge business. Until three days ago, she had no clue that her Uncle Phil worked for a secret government agency. Talk about big surprises. He had seemed surprised, or maybe just resigned, to see her with Jane. Knowing Uncle Phil, he had known exactly who she was working for. He had probably rolled his eyes when he saw her name working for the very a _strophysicist_ he was going to rob.

“Agent,” Darcy said with a slight inclination of her head.

“Miss Lewis,” he replied dryly. To anyone else it was just the start of a normal conversation. Only someone who really knew Phil Coulson would have noticed the slight twinkle in his eyes.

Darcy suppressed a sigh and shook her head. Uncle Phil had been a part of her life for as long as she could remember. For the first nineteen years of her life, he had been the mysterious uncle who never visited but always called on the important holidays and her birthdays. He was the uncle who never failed to send her the neatest toys and gadgets as birthday and Christmas presents. She was pretty sure it had been Phil who had paid for the vacation to Disney World when she was ten, since she knew her mother, a single parent who worked two jobs, could never afford a five-day stay at the most magical place in the world.

Then when she was nineteen and halfway through her freshman year of college, on account of taking a year off to help her ailing mother, he had shown up when she needed someone the most. After a long battle with cancer, her mother had died and before she had even registered the fact that her mother was gone, Phil Coulson was there. He had been quick to take over the arrangements, making sure that Darcy didn't have to deal with the decisions that came with planning a funeral alone. He had paid for it all.

When it was over, Phil convinced her that she should go back to school. It had been Phil who paid for her tuition and all the things she needed as a college student. It was everything he didn't have to do. It wasn't his responsibility. She was the child of his brother, who had gotten himself killed shortly after Darcy had been born. Not that he was missed much, since Greg Coulson had pretty much failed at life. It hadn't been Greg who had been a father to Darcy; no, it had been Phil, stepping into a role as much as he had been able when he really didn't have to.

“Is Dr. Foster available?” Agent Coulson asked, bringing Darcy out of her thoughts.

She'd have to remember to address him formally. She was sure that he didn't want their connection public knowledge, otherwise he would have already hugged her either when he had been here stealing Jane's stuff or right after the Destroyer incident. She shrugged in reply. “She's resting.”

He raised one brow. “Resting?”

“It's been a very emotional time for Jane and she's exhausted. She's wanting to get back to work as soon as your agents are done returning her things. Speaking of,” Darcy paused and fixed him with an evil eye, “I trust my iPod is in one of those boxes, Agent?”

His lips thinned and not because he was upset. He was trying to prevent himself from laughing. The evil eye had been her mother's deal and Darcy had worked hard on perfecting it, finding that it worked on Phil better than anything else. When he had himself under control, he replied blandly, “If your property has not been returned, you can file a report with me.”

She humphed and turned on her heel to snap out an order at one of the agents who had fumbled while putting down a box. She had no idea what was in it, but it was probably important. Then she turned back to Agent Coulson, who was smirking. She raised one shoulder and let it fall. “What?”

“Absolutely nothing. Since Dr. Foster isn't available, is Dr. Selvig?”

“Eric?” Darcy repeated and wracked her brain. She honestly couldn't remember when she had last seen Eric. Maybe last night? She shook her head. “I honestly have no idea where he is.”

Agent Coulson went from looking amused to concerned in two seconds flat. He turned from Darcy and pressed a hand to his ear and began to mutter. Knowing it would do her no good to try and listen in, Darcy waited him out, watching with eagle eyes as the final load of equipment was brought in. When Agent Coulson turned back to her, she gave him a questioning look. “Something wrong?”

He gave her a blank look, one of those looks that said a whole lot and nothing at all. “No, not at all. We just prefer to know where everyone is during the course of this research.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes, not liking the sound of that at all. “What, taking our stuff wasn't enough?”

“Miss Lewis,” he replied with just a touch of reproach.

Darcy resisted the urge to apologize, though she was feeling contrite. She really shouldn't poke at him. She knew, probably far better than anyone, just how far Phil Coulson would go when someone was under his protection. And it had nothing to do with the research, at least where she was concerned.

Since there were appearances to keep up, and she hoped he didn't think he was going to escape her questions the first moment they were alone, she sniffed and crossed her arms. “And did your...” she trailed off, hesitating over calling the agents jack-booted thugs out loud to him, and continued, “associates find Dr. Selvig?”

His eyes sparkled at her, letting Darcy know that her uncle knew exactly what she had been thinking. Oh she was going to have fun teasing him over being called a jack-booted thug for decades.

“He is at the local tavern.”

Darcy gaped, she couldn't help herself. She had known that Eric and Thor had gone to the bar and gotten drunk Thor's first night in town, but she never would have thought that Eric would be out getting drunk in the middle of the afternoon like this. It just didn't seem like him. “Um, are you sure?”

“Yes, one of my agents tracked him down.”

“That was fast.”

“The best are fast.”

“That sounds a little too much like bragging.”

“Call it what you will,” Coulson said with a slight lift of his brow.

Darcy shook her head as the agents who had been carrying in boxes filed out, finally leaving her alone with her uncle. She waited until she was sure they were gone and with a quick look around to make sure no one lingered where they could see, she threw herself at him. His arms were tight around her waist as he hugged her hard. She clung to him, burying her nose in his neck, taking a deep breath and drawing in the comforting scent that had a hint of spice.

“I was terrified.” The confession came out as a whisper.

Coulson's hold on her tightened. It was only then that she noticed the slight trembling in his arms. It never occurred to Darcy after she had seen him when S.H.I.E.L.D absconded with Jane's research that Phil would be worried. So stupid of her to not even consider that Phil might be distracted and concerned about her when she was in the thick of things.

“I'm just glad you are okay, Darce.”

“Same. I overheard some of your agents talking about how the Giant Robot of Doom attacked you guys.”

“Little fire, some explosions. I didn't even get singed,” Phil reassured her.

Darcy pulled back a little and smiled at him. “You are such a badass.” She paused and then asked the one question that had plagued her since discovering Phil's role in S.H.I.E.L.D. “Phil, why didn't you tell me who you worked for?”

His lips twitched in a smile. “That was classified information.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I suppose being your niece doesn't give me clearance?”

He tweaked her nose. “No, it doesn't.”

“Damn.” Darcy shrugged her shoulders. “Still it was a shock. I'm sure you knew where I was interning and could have, I don't know warned me? A quick text, ‘Oh hey, Darce, my most beloved niece, I may be swinging by New Mexico and might stop and see you. Only you have to pretend not to know me.’”

“You're my only niece.”

“My point stands,” Darcy grumbled and leaned into him, seeking the comfort of being next to him and knowing he was safe. “Circumstances aside, I'm glad you are here. I've missed you.” She drilled a finger in his side, making him wince. “Gran has missed you too. Libby as well, probably more.” Her lips quirked in a quick grin and her eyes twinkles as she added, “But I missed you the mostest, Uncle Phil.”

“Uh,” came a different voice before Phil could respond. “I can come back later?”

Both turned to see one of the agents standing in the doorway. He was of average height with short brown hair. Unlike the other agents, he was wearing black cargos and a short sleeve black shirt with a black tactical vest over it. Darcy couldn't tell the color of his eyes due to the black sunglasses he wore. He had a gun holstered at his side. What set him completely apart from the other agents was the fact that despite his apparel, he looked so completely normal that she had to take another look just to make sure he was actually in uniform. Sure enough, there on his vest was the small emblem she had come to associate with S.H.I.E.L.D.

“Well, fuck me,” Darcy said bluntly.

The new agent jolted and stared at her with what she was sure was disbelief before looking at Phil for guidance. Phil just rolled his eyes and gave her a pointed stare, causing her to shrug and say, “It seemed appropriate since you didn't want anyone to know. For some big bad agent you weren't very aware of your surroundings, now, were you?”

“Uh...should I go?” the new agent asked, looking extremely uncomfortable.

“No, that won't be necessary Agent Barton. I trust that you can keep this a secret?” Phil asked as he waved a hand at Darcy then back at himself.

“This what?” Agent Barton asked without even blinking.

Darcy narrowed her eyes. Was he being a smart ass? Or was he really confused? It was hard to tell when she couldn't see his eyes. Then she saw his lips twitch and smiled herself. He was a smart ass. That raised him a few notches above a jack-booted thug in her book.

Phil sighed and rolled his eyes. “Agent Barton, meet my niece, Darcy Lewis. Darcy, this is Agent Barton.”

Darcy nodded towards him. “Nice to meet you.”

“I wasn't aware that you had a niece, sir,” Barton said after nodding back to Darcy.

Phil rubbed his eyes and suppressed a groan as his phone beeped. “No one is. Due to the nature of our work, I don't advertise the fact that I have family.” He pulled the phone out and looked at it. “I have to go to back to California.”

Darcy pouted and gave him a sad look. “But you just got here, Uncle Phil.”

“I'm sorry, but work calls.” Phil looked back at his phone as it beeped again.

Darcy rolled her eyes and studied the new agent, discovering that he was watching her as well. She quirked a brow and he just smiled. Feeling eyes on her, she turned to see her uncle looking between her and Agent Barton. He had that look in his eyes, the one he got when he argued about her going back to school. The look that said he had an idea and she wasn't going to like it.

Sure enough, Phil looked at Agent Barton and waved a hand, a broad gesture to encompass the entire lab, and said, “Agent Barton, you are in charge of security here at the lab until my return.”

Barton's mouth fell open. “What? I thought I was going to be transferred.”

“When I return,” Phil said shortly. Darcy's eyes narrowed as Phil looked at her and then back to Barton and added, with a little extra force, “I'm trusting you to make sure that things run smoothly until my return.”

Translation: Take care of my niece and make sure she doesn't have a scratch on her when I return.

Darcy frowned as the two S.H.I.E.L.D agents had a silent conversation that consisted of twitching lips and raised brows, knowing that it was about her. She didn't appreciate being discussed as if she wasn't even in the room. She was twenty-two years old and didn't need a babysitter. And she made this opinion known.

“I know you aren't going to assign Agent Barton as my personal bodyguard under the guise of protecting the entire lab. Are you, Uncle Phil?”

“That would be a gross misuse of my power.” Phil answered dryly. “Would I do that?”

Darcy laughed and said, “Hell, yes.”

Barton covered his mouth to hide his smile. Phil gave him a withering look that dried up the smile before looking back at Darcy. “I'll explain when I get back, Darcy. Just don't give Barton a hard time.”

She batted her eyes at her uncle and smiled a little too innocently. “Who, me?”

“I'll be lucky if the lab is still standing by the time I return,” Phil muttered as he gave Darcy a quick kiss on the forehead. “Behave.”

He walked away before she could respond. He paused by Barton and whispered something that Darcy couldn't hear. Whatever it was made Barton pale a little and then smirk. He gave a half-assed salute to Phil before Phil walked off.

Darcy crossed her arms and glared at him. Barton just raised one brow and looked around the lab before flashing her a grin that was so quick and easy that Darcy just had to smile back. “Nice place.”

 


	3. Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agent Barton gets a new assignment and isn’t happy about it. He isn’t the only one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any mistakes are my own.

_Present Day_

Two days after the funeral Clint was pacing in Director Fury's office. “You want me to what?”

Fury gave him a look that plainly said he did not appreciate being made to repeat himself. “For the foreseeable future you'll be assigned to watch over Dr. Jane Foster and her assistant Darcy Lewis.”

Clint's face settled into an unreadable mask. It was on the tip of his tongue to refuse but he'd never refused a direct order before. At least, not since he had been sent to kill Natasha. His reprimand, although well deserved, had been severe enough that he’d tried his best to toe the line after. But the thought of being in Darcy's company for who knows how long was enough to tempt him into refusing.

Then he called himself an idiot. He had successfully avoided Darcy after that night on the roof but he couldn't keep doing it. As far as he knew she was going to stay with Dr. Foster. Since Fury had contracted Dr. Foster to find a way to bring Thor back, Darcy was probably going to be around awhile. Some would think him a coward for wanting to avoid this assignment because compared to others this was like a day on the beach.

Clint knew, however, why he didn't want it. Part of it was the guilt that Darcy's uncle was dead and his death came from a part he played, no matter how many times people told him otherwise. The large part of his hesitance came from the lack of trust he had in himself. How could he trust himself to keep a woman who carried around a taser and who thought pop tarts were a food group by themselves safe if he couldn't keep her uncle, a highly trained agent, alive? The two parts together made him want to tell Fury to go screw himself.

He knew why Fury was giving this task instead of another agent. Fury wanted him off active duty, wanted to give him the time to recover from his encounter with Loki. Playing babysitter for a scientist and her assistant was the ideal situation to get Clint off the streets and still show support for the man.

“I'd rather be out in the field, sir,” Clint offered as a token protest.

Fury settled back in his chair and studied Clint. From just a physical point of view Barton didn't look like he was suffering from being Loki's zombie. But he had read the reports. From the outside Barton looked fine, but he wasn't on the inside. He had taken to spending all his time either hidden away in the various vents on the helicarrier or locked in his quarters. Eventually Stark would have his tower repaired and the billionaire had already offered up the top floors to the Avengers. Fury hoped that by then Barton would be at peace with himself and would move in with his teammates.

Fury had his own reasons for tasking Barton with the protective detail duty. Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis knew Barton from New Mexico and would be more comfortable with him standing guard. Not to mention, Coulson had once told him, weeks after New Mexico, that there was one other person besides Fury that he trusted with Darcy's life. And Fury was staring at the man right now.

It wasn't something he was willing to tell the agent unless he was left with no other option. So he arched one brow at Barton's protest. “Barton, I know you'd rather be in the field. Hell, you're one of my best agents and I'd rather you be in the field. But the events of the last week have wrecked hell everywhere and we will see repercussions. Maybe not now, but we will. And when that happens I need every single one of my men to be at their best. Now look me in the eye and tell me that you are abso-fucking-lutely certain that you are fit for field duty and I'll clear you for it.”

Clint opened his mouth to do just that but Fury silenced him with one hard look and added, “Do not lie to me. Lie to yourself, lie to others, but do not even think about lying to me.”

Clint closed his mouth and settled for a stony look. Fury was right, he could lie to himself, he could lie to Natasha, he could even lie to the remaining Avengers. But when it came to this, he couldn't lie to Fury. Not because he didn't want to, because hell he did. But because if he was put back on field duty then it wouldn't just be himself he risked, but the missions and whoever he was partnered with. And frankly, after knowing the chaos that he was unwillingly part of during Loki's visit to Earth, he didn't think he could handle being the cause of any more deaths.

He met Fury's knowing gaze and nodded once. “No, sir, I'm not fit for field duty. Yet.”

“And you will be by the time this assignment ends. Listen, Barton, I need you to do this. Not just because you need something easy to help you level out. I need you because you are the best person for this job. Dr. Foster's research is important, you know that from your time in New Mexico. Now it's become even more important after the events of this last week. I won't promise you that it will be an easy job, it probably won't be. But out of everyone I could assign to this, you are the best for the job.”

“There are people who would disagree with that assessment, Director Fury,” Clint replied evenly.

Fury's face turned to stone. “Then I guess you are lucky that I don't take those opinions into account. Not everyone knows what happened to you so they don't understand. I'll be making it clear that you were not yourself during the initial encounter with Loki and that you more than redeemed yourself during the battle of New York.”

“I'm glad that you think so, sir,” Clint said stiffly.

Fury shifted in his chair and more than ever missed Coulson. It had been Coulson's job to deal with the agents like Barton, he was better suited for it. Fury was not. “So, are you going to do this, Agent?”

Clint's lips twitched in a wry smirk. “Do I have a choice?” Then as an afterthought he added, “Sir.”

Fury merely arched a brow at Clint's not so subtle disrespect and answered, “Yes.” Then, knowing that if given a choice Clint would refuse the duty he added, “Agent Coulson once told me that he trusted me with Darcy's protection should it come to that. He also told me that he trusted you with his niece.”

Clint started, just a brief moment where his spine stiffened and his face tightened before he relaxed. Hearing Fury's words was akin to having a bomb dropped on him. Nothing Fury could have said would have affected him in a way like those words had. It made him want to stand there and scream at the sheer unfairness of it all. A man whose death he felt responsible for trusted him with his niece's life. Not just her protection but her life. It was a heavy weight and he honestly did not feel that he deserved it.

Oh he wasn't stupid. He knew what Fury was doing and he was pissed that it worked. No matter how he felt, there was no way that Clint could turn his back on a man who had been at his back for years. Coulson had been his handler and they worked together for so many years that Clint counted Coulson in the small group he considered family. Yeah, there was no way in hell that he could turn away from this assignment now.

He gave Fury a look that carried all his banked anger at his blatant attempt to manipulate him. That was the thing with Fury, he wasn't afraid to use whatever he had in his arsenal to get what he wanted when he wanted it. He had already proven that once in the last week.

With a voice as hard as steel, he said, “I'll do it.” And then, not caring how much trouble it got him into, he added with more than a little heat, “But this is the last time you'll be able to manipulate me like that, you bastard.”

Fury said nothing and just nodded. Normally he'd cut down an agent who talked to him like that but he would give Barton a pass, this time. Next time, not so much. He had his limits and he did not like to be pushed.

Clint nodded sharply and spun to leave. Before his hand closed on the door handle, Fury said, “Oh, by the way, Mr. Stark is housing Dr. Foster and Miss Lewis at his newly named Avengers Tower. He's also graciously allowed Dr. Foster lab access to work on her project.”

“Fantastic,” Clint muttered under his breath. “We can be one happy little family.”

Fury smirked as Clint walked away.

 

OoOoO

 

Darcy leaned against the counter in Jane's new lab. She still couldn't believe that she was going to be living and working in Stark Tower, for and with Tony Stark. Things like that did not happen to girls from Middle of Nowhere, Kansas. Her mind was still trying to cope with the fact she was in New York City. It was one thing to go out of state to college, but even then it hadn't been a big ass city like NYC. She could cope with living in the city, she was an adaptable girl. But living with a billionaire who happened to be Iron Man? That was a whole new kettle of fish.

Still, she wasn't alone. Jane was here with her. And if what she had heard was right, eventually Stark planned on having all the Avengers, and how cool was that name, live at the Tower. He was already calling it Avengers Tower instead of Stark Tower. Actually, if she let herself think about that, she was even more intimidated living here. The Avengers were real life heroes. She was just a lab assistant. Where did she fit in beyond fetching coffee, providing pop tarts, and compiling data into something readable? Maybe she should go back to Kansas.

It had crossed her mind that she could leave. No one would look down on her for leaving, at least Jane wouldn't. She could go back to Kansas to her grandmother's and live a quiet peaceful life where super heroes were just stories in the news. She could settle down, find some farm boy to marry, pop out a couple kids. The thought of that turned her stomach. No, she wouldn't be returning to Kansas. She just couldn't. Not after all she had seen and experienced.

Also, staying and helping out, well Darcy thought it was something Uncle Phil would approve of. He'd like to know that she was contributing to something he believed in. He died fighting evil, protecting the Earth. It felt right that she do her part, even if it was small and inconsequential. She was honoring his memory. That made her feel better. A little.

Jane stopped next to Darcy, her eyes full of amazement as she gazed at all of the state of the art equipment. “This is just fantastic. Do you know how much I can accomplish with equipment like this? My stuff seems like crap compared to it. The data, the...”

At that point Darcy sort of tuned Jane out. It was how she coped when Jane went all sciencey on her. There was only so much of star charts and equations that Darcy could handle. She was happy for Jane and knew that with the kind of equipment available now Jane would have no problem replicating the Einstein-Rosen Bridge and getting Thor back. God help her, Jane had to get Thor back.

Darcy was still pissed at the delay S.H.I.E.L.D took in getting them to New York. By the time they arrived at the city and found out where Thor and Eric Selvig were, they had arrived just in time to see Thor vanish in a burst of blue light. Jane had been devastated and Darcy had been too concerned with finding Phil to notice just how upset Jane was. Now, days later, she had heard nothing but laments from her friend about just narrowly missing Thor. As much as she loved Jane and understood where she was coming from, she was still too broken by Phil's death to give Jane the support she needed.

“...And Mr. Stark said that if we needed to go back to New Mexico that his personal jet was at our disposal,” Jane finished and finally took a breath.

Darcy tuned back in and looked at her, giving her a crooked smile, “And just think, last summer we were driving a beat up RV.”

“RV to a personal jet. We have moved up in the world,” Jane agreed.

“You moved up in the world. I'm just clinging to your coattails,” Darcy corrected gently. Maybe it annoyed her a little but she knew her place. And if someone had to go, it would be her. Jane was much more important. It stung a little, her pride mostly, but she was mature enough to accept it.

Jane scowled and she reached over to smack Darcy on the arm, not really hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to get Darcy's attention. “You are not clinging to my coattails. You are important Darcy.”

The look Darcy gave Jane was patient understanding. “Jane, come on. We both know that if push came to shove I'm the person that could be missed, not you. If it wasn't for the fact that I was your only applicant for that internship and my desperate need for college credits I wouldn't be here.”

“But you are here,” Jane insisted. “Do you really think that if you weren't needed you'd be here?”

Darcy opened her mouth and then closed it. She was pretty sure she'd be here even if Jane wasn't in the picture. Just the fact that she was Phil Coulson's niece gave her a leg up. It wasn't the kind of connection she'd actually use to stay, but it was there. Of course since only Director Fury and Agent Barton knew about the connection Darcy could avoid using it.

She thought about that and looked at Jane. Back in New Mexico she never told Jane about Phil. Phil had asked her not to so she had kept her mouth shut. Probably for the first time in her life. And she hadn't said anything after they were bustled off to Tromso about Phil calling her and telling her why they were being moved. Ever since last summer, Phil had made an effort to keep Darcy informed on matters that concerned her. He never shared too much that would violate his classification, only just enough that Darcy knew something of what was going on, even if it was very vague. He hadn't told her that Thor was back or that it was Loki who was the baddie, just that something bad was going down and she and Jane were in protective custody so that he didn't have to worry.

She never told Jane any of it and now she felt guilty. She thought maybe she should tell Jane that Phil had been her uncle. Maybe it would shut her up about her research and Thor. And as soon as she thought that, Darcy felt horrible. She hated the whole grieving process. It made her so bitchy. She shouldn't tell Jane the truth to get her to shut up. She should tell her because Jane was her friend and as excited as she was about getting Thor back, Darcy knew that Jane grieved for Phil too.

She cleared her throat to catch Jane's attention, a little unsure that she was making the right decision. But she needed someone she could talk honestly too. She couldn't keep this bottled up. No way in hell she was going to go to Director Fury to talk about her uncle. That man was extremely intimidating, and it had nothing to do with the eye patch or the trench coat, it was just his 'don't fuck with me' attitude. She couldn't talk to Agent Barton because he was still avoiding her and she still had no idea why and it pissed her the fuck off. If she told Jane she would have that support she so desperately needed. It was getting hard to keep her grief private. It felt like if she didn't talk to someone soon she'd explode.

“Jane,” Darcy began when Jane finally looked at her. “There is something I need to tell you.”

Jane's face fell. “Oh Darcy you really aren't thinking about leaving? I know you said you might but just think about all we are going to get to do!”

“You're leaving?” came a voice from the door of the lab. Darcy and Jane turned to see Agent Barton standing in the door looking very put out. “Director Fury didn't tell me you were leaving. Have you cleared it with him?”

Darcy's jaw dropped and then snapped close so quickly that she heard her teeth clack together. The first words the man speaks to her in two days and it's all accusations. The anger she had been successfully suppressing surged forward and she snapped before she could think, “It's none of your damn business or Director Fury's business if I decide to leave. You aren't my fucking keeper, Agent.”

Ignoring Jane's gasp of shock, she stalked forward and shoved past Clint. She ignored his call for her to stop and stomped her way to the elevator where she mashed the call button. She crossed her arms under her chest and tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the elevator. She heard footsteps behind her and prayed that the elevator would arrive.

It dinged and the doors slid open. She stepped inside and quickly pushed the button to her floor. But before the doors could shut, Clint stepped in. She clenched her jaw and looked away from him. The elevator hummed as it moved up. Then Clint reached past her and depressed the stop button.

Shocked Darcy looked at him and whatever scathing words she had died on her lips as she got her first real good look at him. He looked tired. His face was haggard with dark circles under his eyes. The fact that she could tell how tired he was told her how bad off he really was. Even in New Mexico when he had spent a night searching the desert for a group of men who wanted Jane he hadn't looked tired when he returned.

“Why aren't you sleeping?” she blurted out before she could stop herself.

Clint stared at her for a moment and then threw his head back with a harsh laugh. When he stopped he just looked at her, not answering. Annoyed, she pursed her lips and looked away. If he wasn't going to answer her she just wasn't going to talk to him. Why waste her breath?

“Are you leaving?” Clint finally asked.

Darcy thought about ignoring him like he ignored her question, but decided she wasn't going to be that petty. She could, however, be mean, so she sneered. “Why do you care? You've barely looked at me much less talked to me since I've gotten to New York.”

“I've been busy.”

She snorted. “I'd call bullshit but if that's the best excuse you got I don't want to hear you try and come up with a better one.”

“It's true.”

“If you say so,” Darcy said lightly, staring at the elevator doors.

“Look, Fury assigned me to you and Dr. Foster, so if you are leaving I need to know so arrangements can be made,” Clint said tightly.

Darcy blinked and looked at him. “Assigned you to us? I don't fucking think so. And what do you mean so arrangements can be made? I don't need a fucking sitter.”

Clint sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You know why.”

Darcy pressed her lips together and ignored the tears that stung her eyes at the reference to Phil. “Only you and Director Fury know about my connection to Phil. So a bodyguard isn't necessary. I've lived my whole life without one and I'm not about to accept one now.”

“Things are different,” Clint explained without really explaining anything.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it. If I listed all the things that have changed I'd be here all day. But since I really just want to go up to my room, I won't.”

“Answer me and you can go to your room,” Clint pressed.

Her eyes narrowed. “I don't need your permission. In fact, doesn't Stark have this nifty AI that is patched in everywhere? I'm sure the AI has noticed that the elevator has stopped and all I have to do is ask and this thing will start moving again.”

“Darcy, please.”

It wasn't the please that made Darcy stop and look at Clint. It was the use of her first name. The handful of times he had spoken to her since her arrival she had been Miss Lewis. She bit her lip and shook her head. “I'm not leaving, Agent. I considered it but I'm sticking with Jane, so you don't have to worry about anything.”

“I wasn't worried,” Clint said quickly.

Her lips twitched but she didn't smile. “No, of course not.” He reached over and pressed a button to get the elevator moving again. “So if you weren't going to tell Jane you were leaving, then what were you going to tell her?”

Darcy, softened but not completely willing to overlook Clint's attitude in the last few days, stared at him. She said primly, “That is none of your business.” She tilted her head to the side and asked, “You were just joking about that whole assigned to me and Jane?”

The look he gave her answered the question. She glared at him as the elevator doors opened. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

Without saying another word she stalked out into the hallway and to her room, where she threw herself on the bed. So many thoughts were running through her mind that she didn't even know where to begin. Most confusing was as her eyes got heavy and she drifted off to sleep it was Clint’s face she saw.


	4. Getting To Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agent Barton and Darcy Lewis start to get to know each other in New Mexico.

_The Previous Summer_

 

“So what is it exactly you do for S.H.I.E.L.D?” Darcy asked Agent Barton as she scooped up a spoonful of Rocky Road ice cream. They were sitting on the rooftop, bowls of ice cream cradled in their hands as they watched the sun sink below the horizon. It had been three days since Uncle Phil left, leaving Agent Barton and three more S.H.I.E.L.D agents behind. The other agents were stuffy and seemed content to just patrol and keep an eye on things.

Agent Barton, however, was different. He spent a lot of time in the lab, talking with Jane and Eric. When Jane and Eric were too busy with their science stuff, Agent Barton hung out with Darcy, keeping her company. He was surprisingly funny for a jack booted thug. Surprisingly easy to talk to. And when she hit a block on the papers due for her classes, he showed that he was more than just a thug who followed orders by helping her out. He certainly didn't look like he could debate philosophy or ethics just by looking at him but there was a brain there underneath the stoic warrior persona he presented at times.

Even after just three days, it was starting to become a habit to go and hang out on the roof and watch the sun set. Barton had joined her the first night that Phil left when she was feeling a little bit down about her uncle being gone so suddenly. The second night they both escaped the scientists when Jane made some discovery that sent both of them in a tizzy. There had been so many long almost unpronounceable words bandied about that Darcy felt like her head was going to explode before she made her escape. Since Jane and Eric were too excited to take their own notes before Darcy fled up to the roof she set up several recorders so that she could transcribe their discussion later.

Agent Barton had followed her and now on the third day she had made her way up to the roof fully expecting to find Agent Barton up there, hence the two bowls of ice cream she carried. He had been there, standing near the edge, eyes hidden behind sunglasses. Sunglasses he never took off. Darcy was starting to think she'd have to catch him asleep to get those things off him. She had no idea what he had been looking for and she just walked over and offered the bowl of Rocky Road ice cream. Barton had taken it and joined her on the lounge chairs set up by the open grill they used as a fire pit.

They had talked about the Jane's discovery and what it meant for the project. Then Darcy had asked her question, a question that had been bugging her since Phil introduced them. Agent Barton didn't seem like just another agent. There had been something about the way he and Phil had silently communicated and the way the other agents deferred to him that made Darcy think that there was something more to him.

“I do whatever S.H.I.E.L.D tells me to do,” he answered.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “That's a little blind, don't you think Agent Barton?”

“Call me Clint.”

“Fine, Clint,” Darcy said, stressing his name. “Why would you do whatever they tell you? What if they told you to go and kill someone?”

Clint snorted. “Then I'll assume that person needs to be killed and I'll do it.”

Darcy blinked and stared at him, unsure if he was joking or not. From the bland look on his face, he wasn't. “Are you fucking serious?”

Clint shrugged. “I've done it before.”

“I'm sorry what?!” Darcy yelped.

“Coulson didn't tell you?” Clint asked, twisted to look at her.

“Uncle Phil didn't tell me anything. He patted me on the head and said ‘see you later’. It's his M.O.”

“Jesus,” Clint hissed. “I thought you knew.”

“I don't know jack,” Darcy said cheerfully. “I just keep my mouth closed and do what I'm told.” Clint gave her a look that told her he didn't believe a word she said and she laughed. “Usually. If I agree.”

“Now that I can believe. I bet you keep Coulson on his toes.”

It was Darcy's turn to shrug. “I really wouldn't know. Uncle Phil wasn't exactly intimately involved in my life until three years ago when my mother died. Then he stepped in. He's been there for me more, well as much as he's capable of, since then. And don't think I don't know what you are doing, changing the subject.”

“So how is Coulson related to you?” Clint asked, ignoring her pointed look.

Darcy sighed and muttered, “I'm on a roof with an assassin. What has my life come to?”

Clint snorted. “Haven't killed you yet have I?”

“If you killed me you better have a good reason for Uncle Phil otherwise he wouldn't approve,” she said primly.

Clint laughed. “There is that.” He shifted and placed his now empty bowl on the floor. “So going to answer my question?”

“You are the super secret agent, can't you figure it out yourself?” Darcy retorted.

“I am figuring it out, I'm asking you,” Clint shot back.

“Isn't that like cheating? Aren't you supposed to investigate and stuff?”

“I'm the guy they call in to do the shooting. I let other people do the investigating,” Clint admitted.

Darcy didn't know what to say to that so she ignored it. She was just getting used to the fact that her uncle was some top secret agent for a secret government agency. Thinking about the man sitting next to her being the guy said secret government agency called in to do the shooting was just too much for her take.

“So,” she started, changing the subject. “What do you do when you aren't out shooting people?”

Clint shrugged. “Relax. Same as any other person.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Yes but how? Do you have a secret fondness for the Twilight series? Do you curl up in your bed getting lost in the angst that is Bella Swan's life, begging her to choose Jacob over Edward?”

Clint gave her a blank look. “What? Who? Huh?”

“Oh very succinct,” Darcy drawled.

“I haven't a fucking clue what you are talking about.”

“Count yourself lucky,” Darcy said with a shudder. “I was forced to read those books and I swear to God that is time I will never get back.”

“I take it that these books are something I should avoid?”

“Like a street walker with chlamydia.”

“Oh there's a pleasant picture,” Clint said with a shudder.

Darcy grinned at him. “Uncle Phil has tried to get me to switch my mouth filter to on often over the years.”

“It's nice to know there is something he isn't good at,” Clint teased with a smile.

“I'll be sure to tell him that. So seriously, what do you do in your off time?”

Clint shrugged. “Listen to music, watch movies, target practice.”

“Seriously, target practice?”

“I have a precise area of skills. It wouldn't do for me to let those skills decay just because I have some time off,” Clint said by way of explanation.

Darcy pointed a finger at him. “See when you say things like that it's just fucking scary. I mean, how many people have target practice to stay in shape?”

Clint gave her a predatory grin. “The kind of people I know. You know, Coulson is a pretty good shot.”

“Phil is good at everything he does,” Darcy countered. “It's a little freaky.”

“Amen to that. The man is fucking scary when he wants to be.”

“Huh,” Darcy said while playing with a lock of her hair. “I never really got the scary vibe from him.”

“Because he likes you, he adores you,” Clint explained with a wry twist of his lips.

She grinned at him, not at all ashamed of that fact. “I know, it's simply lovely.” She stretched and looked around. “So I'm bored.”

“Just what do you expect me to do about that??” Clint asked as his lips twitched at her pout.

“Well considering how hot you are, my first choice would be to fuck me senseless.” Darcy paused and savored the way Clint's eyes bugged out in his head. She had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. As he sat there staring at her in shock, she regained her composure and added, “But since I know that isn't possible, not only because Uncle Phil would castrate you, I'll settle on a game of Monopoly. I bet we can pry Jane and Eric away from their research for a game.”

Clint sputtered and pointed a finger at her. “Fucking hell woman, you can't say things like that.”

Darcy blinked innocently at him. “Why not?”

“Its...you...I...it's not proper!” Clint stuttered, grasping for an excuse.

“Not proper because Phil is my uncle or because you are what, a decade older than me?” Darcy asked as she grinned at him.

“Both,” Clint said firmly.

A brow shot up and Darcy shook her head. “I'm disappointed in you, Agent Barton. That is a very narrow minded way to think.”

Clint scowled at her. “It's called respect.”

“No I'm pretty sure it's just narrow minded. First off, I don't want to jump you. So you can stop worrying about your virtue. Second, Uncle Phil doesn't have a say in my sex life. In fact, I'm sure he'd be horrified to even hear that I have a sex life. Third, and this is where you really let me down since I took you for an open minded kind of guy, age is just a number. I happen to prefer older men because they are more mature and I don't have the tolerance for the games that men my age play. That being said, I think I'll go inside.”

She rose and turned to go away and Clint reached up and grabbed her arm. She glanced down at him, giving him a look that was so reminiscent of Coulson that he blinked to make sure he wasn't with Coulson. “Hey I don't know why you’re so pissed. I didn't do anything wrong.”

Darcy sighed. “I'm not pissed, just put out. Do you really think I'd try to get in your pants knowing that Phil assigned you with the task of keeping me, Jane, and Eric safe? Even I know that a bodyguard is compromised if they get involved with the person they are supposed to be protecting. Learn to take a damn joke.”

“That isn't something you joke about,” Clint said fiercely, letting go of her arm.

She sniffed and tucked her hands in her pockets. “Sure it is, if you aren't a prude.”

Clint frowned and one corner of his mouth curled in disgust. “I'm not a prude.

Darcy gave him an amused smile. “If you say so. Agent,I suggest that you develop a more open sense of humor. Especially if you are going to be here a while. I joke about all kinds of things and most of the time I don't filter what comes out of my mouth.”

Clint wasn't quite sure to make of that. It wasn't often that someone unsettled him, but Darcy Lewis managed it quite nicely. “I'll keep that in mind.”

“Good night, Agent.” Darcy gave him a absent wave of her hand as she made her way back over to the roof top door.

Clint watched her go feeling like someone just reached over and smacked him across his face. It like someone had flipped a switch on her. One moment she was acting pissed off and the next she was smiling and waving like nothing happened. The last time he dealt with a woman that erratic and sharp tongued he ended up partnering with her. Which was frightening to consider.

Instead of thinking about it too much, he simply threw his hands in the air and muttered, “Women.”


	5. Anger and Irritation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy vents to Jane and Clint tries to adjust to living in Avengers Tower. A late night visit to the rooftop may put Clint and Darcy back on even footing.

_The Present_

 

Darcy glared as she flopped on her bed next to Jane and ranted. “Seriously, can you believe the nerve of that man? Insisting that I need a bodyguard? I mean what the hell!?”

Jane hummed and listened to Darcy. Darcy had been ranting for the last ten minutes and was now starting to repeat herself. Jane listened patiently, trying to figure out just why it upset Darcy so much. It wasn't like she liked the idea of having someone following her either, but she accepted it as just another part of the job. Darcy hadn't minded having Agent Barton around last summer, in fact that they had gotten to be pretty good friends.

“Darcy,” Jane started when Darcy paused to take a breath, “just what is it that Agent Barton has done to piss you off so much?”

Darcy hugged out a sigh and sank lower on the bed and muttered, “You mean besides ignore me since we got to New York?”

“Sure, beside that,” Jane said with an eye roll.

“Honestly, nothing. That's it. I don't even know why it pisses me off. It isn't like we were best of friends or anything. It's just,” Darcy let out a breath and shook her head, “something is going on and I don't know what. Whatever it is has to be the reason he's acting the way he is. Besides, have you seen how tired he looks? It's not normal.”

“Well he did fight a big battle. And Christ, a battle. What the hell has happened to the world when we have battles in the middle of midtown New York?” Jane asked with a wave of her hands.

Darcy stared at her friend then giggled. “Jane, do you realize that our lives were changed the minute you hit Thor with the RV? I mean, even before that it wasn't like things were normal in the world. We have super heroes.”

“Yeah but...but..” Jane sputtered and let out a laugh. “I guess you are right. Maybe it was easier not thinking about it because I wasn't affected by it.”

“And now you are. It is weird, I'll give you that. But not the weirdest thing I've had happen to me,” Darcy told her.

Jane blinked and looked at Darcy. “What could be weirder than meeting a god and living with the people who saved the world?”

Darcy let her shoulders raise and fall. “Finding out that the uncle you adore and love like a father was a secret agent who handled the super heroes and god?”

Jane, in the middle of reaching for the box of pop tarts that sat on Darcy's bedside table, froze as Darcy's words sank in. She turned her head slowly to look at Darcy, who was giving her a sheepish look. “Darcy, your uncle...Phil Coulson?”

“Yes. Do I still say he is my uncle or would I say he was my uncle since he's dead? What's the proper way to say that?” Darcy asked, tilting her head to the side. It was a stupid and mindless question, but now that she thought of it she really needed the answer.

Jane opened her mouth and then closed it and studied Darcy, wondering if she was being serious. “For real? That's what you say?”

Darcy gave her a half smile. “It's something I've been wondering since Director Fury told me. I mean, with my mom I just say 'That's my mom'. And she's been gone for three years. Phil...well...so yeah I'm serious.”

Jane nodded slowly, unsure of how to proceed. She realized that this had to be how Darcy dealt with her grief and she wasn't quite sure how to handle it. She had never lost anyone. Her parents and grandparents were still alive. Her great grands on both sides died before she was born. She was the only child of only children so she didn't have an extended family. Phil Coulson was the first person that she knew and actually liked that had died and she wasn't that as affected by it since their association had been so short lived after he left New Mexico for good.

Realizing that Darcy needed some kind of answer, she said carefully, “I think both are applicable, it just depends on how you feel about him. If you use 'is', that suggests that you haven't really accepted the fact that he's gone. Using 'was' would signify that you know he's gone and you are willing to admit it.”

Darcy bit her lip and closed her eyes for a moment. Without opening her eyes, she said, “I know he's gone. I saw his body. I saw them bury it. I know logically that there is no chance that he's coming back. But, I'm not ready to let go, Jane. He's been such a huge part of my life since my mother died. I feel like I've lost another parent. Why him?”

At that Darcy lost her battle with tears and for the first time since learning of Phil's death, she let herself cry with someone else in the room. Previously her tears had been limited to the privacy of her room. Now that Jane knew and understood Darcy didn't feel like she needed to hold it in. She buried her head in her hands and turned into the comforting warmth of Jane's body when Jane wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close.

“Oh Darce,” Jane breathed softly. She brushed the hair out of Darcy's face and did the only thing she could do, hold her and let her know that she was there. Darcy's grief tore at something inside Jane and for the first time ever Jane felt like she was capable of murder. If she could, she'd storm Asgard and kill Loki for causing her friend so much pain.

Darcy's shoulders shuddered with the force of her sobs. She hated the pain that had rooted itself in her heart. She hated this feeling of emptiness. It was so consuming. It ate her like a disease. It wasn't just Phil that she was crying over, but her mother. It was losing her mother all over again and multiplied because she lost the only other parental figure she had in her life. It left her feeling raw and open and she hated that.

She sniffed and swiped a hand under her nose as the sobs tapered off. She leaned into Jane and let the scientist's soft words wash over her. Having Jane comfort her was the next best thing to having her grandmother hold her. Jane projected that same motherly air that her grandmother had.

Darcy froze as the thought hit her. Home. She had to call home and drop the big bomb. Oh god. It was enough to make her start crying again.

Jane paused in her murmuring, feeling Darcy stiffen against her. “Darcy, what is it?”

“I have to call back home and tell them the news.”

“Your grandmother?”

Darcy nodded. “Yes. Phil isn't...wasn't related to her by blood but she was still very fond of him.”

“So, he was your paternal uncle?” Jane asked, wincing as she used the past tense verb.

Darcy didn't notice and briefly explained the relationship to Jane. “Yes, his younger brother knocked my mother up and then abandoned her when she was six months pregnant. Two months after I was born Phil contacted my mother and let her know that my father was killed. He sort of stepped into Greg Coulson's place. He was never really actively involved in my life; he was just that awesome uncle who sent the best toys and gadgets.” She exhaled with a shuddered and continued. “When my mother died, Phil was there. He made all the arrangements and took over the financial responsibility of my schooling. He helped so much when he didn't have to.”

“So New Mexico...” Jane trailed off, not sure what point she was trying to make.

Darcy smiled faintly. “New Mexico was the first time we had any real time together and was a mind fuck for me. Until then I had no idea that he worked for S.H.I.E.L.D or how involved he was.”

“I can imagine,” Jane muttered, softening a little bit towards the deceased agent who had stolen her equipment and research. She tried to find a silver lining for Darcy. “Well it's a good thing you had New Mexico, right?”

Darcy pulled away and scrubbed her face. “Yeah. It was great. If anything it drew us closer together. He didn't have to hide so much from me.”

“That's good. I bet he hated hiding so much of his life from you.” Jane had no idea if it was true or not but it felt like the right thing to say. She had another thought and voiced it cautiously, “That's why you are pissed at Agent Barton. He knew, didn't he?”

Darcy had almost forgotten just how perceptive Jane could be outside of lab. The dainty scientist often came off as very focused and maybe a little fanatic when it came to her sciences but she had a heart of gold. They had spent so much time in each others presence since Jane accepted Darcy as her intern that it shouldn't surprise Darcy that Jane saw more than she let on, but it did.

She looked at Jane and nodded. “Yeah, he found out. I think that's one reason we got to be such good friends in New Mexico. He was literally the only one who knew about Phil and me. Phil kept us a secret so he didn't put us in danger.”

“And now, when you are hurting the most, he's ignoring you,” Jane pieced together out loud.

Darcy let out a huff. “Yeah, exactly. And I don't know why. It's not like I want him to be the shoulder I can cry on but for the love of all that's holy, would it kill him to be a little sympathetic?”

“Maybe he doesn't know how to act around you?” Jane offered. “I mean, grief is different for everyone and he's probably deal with his own. Add in the fact that he's the only one here that knows your secret, maybe he doesn't want to do anything that would spill the beans?”

That made too much sense for Darcy's comfort. She shifted a little, uncomfortable with the fact that she never considered Clint's position. It made her feel selfish and she hated being selfish. Well that wasn't true, she didn't have a problem being selfish when it came to minor things. But this wasn't minor and it made her stomach turn uneasily.

“You could be right. I never thought of that. I guess I didn't think of a lot of things,” Darcy said timidly. “I don't know what to do.”

“Wait for him to do something first?” Jane suggested. “I mean, it can't be easy on him either. His way of handling his grief is probably to hold it in, being a guy and all.”

“True,” Darcy accepted with a nod and a small smile. “Thanks Jane.”

Jane hugged Darcy, relieved that she actually managed to tease a smile from her intern. “It's what friends do. I just wished you had told me sooner. I wouldn't have blabbed on about Thor and my research.”

“I tried telling you,” Darcy pointed out with a twitch of her lips. “Earlier in the lab, when Barton barged in with his big news.”

“Oh,” Jane said with a sheepish grin. “Guess I blew that one.”

“Not your fault. It was a valid concern. I did talk about leaving before after all.”

“Why haven't you?” Jane asked curious.

Darcy gave her a bright smile that was a little off due to the redness of her eyes and nose. “Because Phil would want me to stay.”

Jane smiled back. “I'm glad then. I'd go insane without you here to keep me in line.”

“That's bull. You'd terrorize the building,” Darcy teased. She sobered up when she thought about her family again. “Listen Jane, thanks for listening but I need to make a phone call.”

“Of course,” Jane said and hurried off the bed. “You do that. If you need me I'll be in the lab. Eric has been acting funny and I'm determined to figure out why.”

“Don't browbeat him too much,” Darcy cautioned. “You need his brain.”

“Psh,” Jane said with a flip of her hand and left.

Darcy pulled out her phone and just stared at it. This was going to be a hard call to make.

 

OoOoO

 

Clint was frustrated. After the disastrous encounter with Darcy earlier his day had gone from bad to worse. Tony had managed to corner him and offer up not just a room, cause that would be too small for the billionaire, but an entire floor in the Tower. It was the last thing Clint wanted but given his current assignment he hadn't had a choice in accepting. He did manage to talk Tony down from a floor to a suite of rooms. Then he had to suck it up and let Tony bustle him around and get him settled in his new home.

It wasn't that Clint didn't like Tony. He just found Tony to be a bit much. Very loud, very out there. Very much the center of attention. He knew that it was just one layer of the man but hell it was a overwhelming layer. Added to that was the fact that Clint was just fucking uncomfortable in such a expansive tower.

The newly renamed Avengers Tower just screamed money. It spoke of elegance and opulence. It was everything that Clint never had. He was used to more stark living conditions. A box of a room with a bed and a small table with the rest of the space taken up by his weapons. A small hotel room that changed weekly. Not a towering building where he had an entire floor with five rooms and it's own kitchenette at his disposal. Fuck it was just so much.

Which is why he escaped Tony's clutches, confirmed that Darcy and Jane were in Darcy's room by way of JARVIS -which was fucking awesome-, and made a run for it. He stalked through every single floor that was designated for the Avengers by Stark. Three full equipped labs, a huge gym with every single exercise machine known to man, three floors dedicated to who knows what, five floors of living quarters with the top one being Stark's, a common living room that was to be used by everyone. Stark's personal living room slash office, not being part of his floor, had been totaled in the battle with Loki and was still closed off as it was rebuilt. A game room, kitchen, and dining room took up another floor. Then there was Tony's personal lab where everything Iron Man took place.

All of this took up the top fifteen floors, the lower half of the building was for commercial use, both for public companies and for Stark Industries. He didn't concern himself with that since you had to have a personal code in addition to the biometric scanners to even use a elevator to go beyond floor thirty-five. With his sweep done and after much shaking of his head over the extravagance that was Tony Stark, he made his way to the roof, the one place he hadn't been since Coulson's funeral.

Goddamn how was he going to deal with living here when the only thing he wanted was to be out and busy. He wanted to be doing something that required no thinking. Something that kept him occupied and focused. Anything that would keep him from replaying that moment when Loki pressed that damned staff to his chest and stole his mind.

Natasha had cornered him with questions and he had lied his ass off to her. Did he have dreams? Was he reliving what he had gone through in Loki's clutches? No of course not. You got him out of my head. I'm fine. What a bunch of bullshit and she knew it but hadn't pressed.

What had she been thinking, asking him something like that? She had to know that he wouldn't tell the truth. No way was he going to admit that kind of weakness, not even to her. He didn't give a damn how close they were and how much he trusted her, he was never going to let Natasha know just how much Loki had fucked with his mind. It wasn't all for selfish reasons, though that played a part. He just wasn't going to be the conduit for her to travel back to her own bad memories.

The nightmares came every night. It's why Darcy's question about sleep had shocked him so much. Not because he didn't look like shit, he did, but because no one else had been willing to even broach the subject. Everyone, even Natasha, was tiptoeing around him and acting like the first wrong word would break him. He couldn't blame them, it felt like the smallest thing could shatter the control he was clinging to. It figured Darcy would have no issues with asking something everyone else was afraid to.

He had forgotten that about her. Forgotten how direct and blunt she could be. God he could remember clearly that night in New Mexico when she had jokingly said she wanted him to fuck her. He had been outraged by it and let her know and then got torn down because of it. He refused to acknowledge that flicker of heat that had surged through his body at the suggestion before she admitted to it being a joke. No way was he going there, especially not now.

It hadn't been the last time she made a suggestive comment towards him. In fact she had been like a dog with a bone on the subject. Knowing it made him feel uncomfortable she would issue little barbs when they were alone and she could get away with it. And when he scowled at her, she'd just smile sweetly and go on like she never said anything. It had frustrated the hell out of him until he had relaxed enough to make his own little comments. It had take a couple weeks to reach that point but it had been surprisingly easy to slip into a faux flirty role with the younger woman after he realized she wasn't going to take it seriously. 

Good thing too, because the first time Phil had witnessed one of their exchanges, he gave Clint one of his cold assessing looks and mentioned how nice it was down in Africa. By Africa he had meant in the middle of fucking nowhere at the small outpost that was manned by one person for months at a time monitoring just one of the groups that S.H.I.E.L.D looked out for. For S.H.I.E.L.D it was tantamount to being banished to Siberia. Darcy had laughed off Phil's threat and told her uncle to stop being a stick in the mud and ruining the only fun she had for the summer. After that Clint had been careful to maintain a personal distance from Darcy. Not that it stopped Darcy.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, Clint pushed opened the door to the roof and stepped out before the voice echoing in the darkness registered to his ears. Darcy was curled up in a lounge chair, a blanket wrapped around her, and her phone pressed to her ear. She wasn't even aware of his arrival.

Slipping into the shadows, he watched her, gaze focusing on the tears that trickled slowly down her cheeks. Her voice was low and hoarse when she spoke. The grief that spilled from her tone was like a knife in the gut for him. He knew he shouldn't listen, but he couldn't make himself turn away, not even when he realized who she was speaking too.

“Libs, listen to me, I am fine. The funeral was two days ago. I understand that you would have wanted to be there, but there was nothing I could do.” A pause and she sighed, shaking her head a little. “No sweetie, I can't tell you. It's classified. How classified? It's like this, if I tell you anymore than I have I'll probably do life in Sing Sing. No I am not joking, why would I? You know Uncle Phil didn't talk about his job. I didn't find out until recently. Oh come on, I just told you I couldn't say anything because it's classified.” 

He saw the slight widening of her eyes and her voice rose an octave, more stressed now than grieving. “No, no. Don't you even think about it Elizabeth. I want you to stay with Gran. You're lucky it happened while you were on break. I'm grateful you weren't here. You aren't coming back, you can transfer schools. Because I said so. I swear to God...put Gran on.”

Clint pressed his lips together tightly to prevent a smile. He remembered another conversation just like this one. It sounded like this conversation was going worse than the other one. Poor Darcy. He hoped she convinced Elizabeth to stay put. That was another problem he didn't want to deal with though he was sure that neither would appreciate being labeled as a problem.

“Gran, you can't let her come. Because it's too dangerous. I'm safe trust me on that. I don't know, maybe? Look, she just can't. I don't want her here. Tell her to suck it up. Shit, Gran, don't do that. Yeah, yeah.” Darcy paused again and he watched she rubbed her eyes with one hand. A sigh and then she said with an air of defeat, “I'll make some calls. You have no idea how much this complicates things. Because Uncle Phil didn't advertise that he had a family. Well I can't blame him, not knowing what I do. No I can't tell you, it's classified. Just...he died doing a good thing. He died a hero's death, okay? Okay. Tell Libs I love her. Love you too.”

The was a beep as she hung up the phone. Darcy shifted in the lounge and Clint wondered if he should make his presence known. But he kept to the shadows, even when Darcy rose and walked right past him to go back inside. The door clicked shut behind him and as it did his phone beeped. He opened the text and read it.

**It's not nice to spy ~D. L.**

Clint wondered how the hell she knew he was there when he hadn't made a sound and she gave no indication that she had known he was there. He didn't like the thought that she had gotten the jump on him or that he was slacking enough that she could notice him. It was the sort of thing he expected from Natasha, not Darcy.

No use dwelling on it now. He texted her back.

**Should I ask or will you?**

While he waited for a reply, he moved to sit in the lounge that Darcy had vacated. It shouldn't be so easy to talk to her through a text but it was. He didn't have to look her in the face. It was anonymous in it's own way. He could deal with this. If only he could do everything through text. His phone beeped.

**Doesn't matter ~D.L.**

Shaking his head, he sent a reply

**Consider it done. I'll clear with Stark too.**

Seconds later his phone beeped.

**Thanks. Asshole ~D.L**

He laughed and called Fury.


	6. Outside, Looking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint discovers how much Coulson trusts him and gets a glimpse into Coulson and Darcy's relationship.

_The Previous Summer_

 

Coulson was back. Clint was informed of this not by Coulson himself but by one of the junior agents who had been sent to fetch him from one of the S.H.I.E.L.D campers that had been set up as a base of operations. Why Coulson hadn't called him and let him know he was back from New York City he didn't know, but those were the breaks. Clint skipped his shower and headed out to meet Coulson. It would be bad form to be late because he had skipped his shower the night before. Which was his own fault because he had been roped into doing a Johnny Depp movie marathon with Darcy and Dr. Foster.

At first it was just going to be one movie. He really should have known better. Crybaby turned into What's Eating Gilbert Grape which led to Blow. He never should have mentioned how much he liked Johnny Depp movies. Between Darcy and Jane they had the whole damn collection. Thank God they avoided any of the Tim Burton movies. Nothing against the guy but those movies just freaked him out.

As a result it was had been well after midnight by the time he officially ended his shift and went to bed. Now it was seven in the morning and he was up after seven hours of sleep. Which might seem to be a lot until you took into account he had been up at 5 AM the morning before. His only hope was that Coulson didn't jump his ass for not being more alert. Sure he could go days without sleep when it called for it, but missing sleep on a plum assignment like this was just stupid.

Coulson was waiting for him outside the lab, looking alert and fresh in his black suit. There was no sign of Darcy, Foster, or Selvig, who escaped the movie night by claiming a migraine. Fucking liar. Clint knew Selvig had been lying and should have called him on it so he wasn't the only one who suffered.

Coulson looked at Clint and then did something that made Clint stop mid-stride. He smiled. Never once had Coulson smiled like that and it be directed towards Clint. This was 'Ha I know what happened to you last night you poor bastard' smile. Narrowing his eyes Clint walked over until he was just in front of Coulson. His first words were, “You are a bad man, sir.”

Coulson just grinned bigger. “She roped you into a Johnny Depp marathon, didn't she?”

“How the hell did you know that, sir?” Clint asked.

Coulson merely arched an eyebrow. “I know everything.”

“It's scarier when you do it than when Director Fury does,” Clint said plaintively.

“I shall strive to never do it again in your presence,” Coulson replied deadpan.

“Thank you sir,” Clint said blandly. “News from New York?”

Coulson thought about what to say and ended up saying, “Under control.”

“Good to hear. Am I being reassigned?” Clint had been wondering this. He had been in New Mexico for three weeks now. It was a longer period of time than he was used to when it came to these baby sitting jobs. He was starting to chomp at the bit. The only action he had seen was a week ago when word trickled down that an extremist group had gotten wind of Dr. Foster's research and decided to have a go at her. Luckily they had gotten word in time of their whereabouts and he had spent a night in the desert tracking them down and removing the threat. Both Darcy and Dr. Foster had looked at him a little bit differently for a couple days before coming to terms with what he had done. Not that they knew the exact details.

“No, not yet. Director Fury has another assignment for you but it won't be ready to go for at least two more weeks. Maybe three,” Coulson answered. “Until then I want you here.”

“To be frank sir, I don't understand why I'm here. I can surely be doing good somewhere else, where I'm needed. Anyone in the agency can handle this detail,” Clint said bluntly.

Coulson looked over his shoulder inside the lab where Darcy had started to stir from where she had passed out on the couch. He looked at her, the hint of a smile curving the sides of his mouth, before turning back to Clint and said, “That may be true, but there are few who I'd trust more than you with this assignment.”

He held Clint's gaze long enough that Clint understood what he meant. The list of people that Coulson trusted implicitly within S.H.I.E.L.D was a very short list. The only other person who Coulson could get to handle this assignment was his partner and she was undercover elsewhere at the moment. It wasn't the first time that Coulson had praised him, but it was the first time that Clint really understood what it meant to have Coulson's trust. After he had ignored orders and saved his current partner, it was something he thought he'd never have again. The rush of emotion he felt was foreign but not un-welcomed.

Clint cleared his throat, not wanting to embarrass them both by getting emotional. “Understood, sir. What will happen when I'm reassigned?”

“That will be a bridge I'll cross when I get to it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see what I can find for breakfast.” Coulson turned to go inside as Darcy rose and smiled at him.

Clint stood there watching them for several minutes. They didn't do anything overt but there was a warmth flowing between them that indicated years of familiarity. It was the way Darcy fixed Coulson's coffee without asking how he liked it. How Coulson knew that Darcy liked the Smores pop tarts over the cherry ones. The way Darcy angled her face to listen to whatever Coulson was saying. The twinkle and faint crinkling of Coulson's eyes as he listened to Darcy say something and add wild hand gestures to emphasize a point.

It spoke greatly of the connection between them, especially since by Darcy's own admission they hadn't spent a lot of time together until recent years. The only thing he had been able to find out about the two of them was that Coulson hadn't been a real part of Darcy's life until she was nineteen. Then something had happened that drew Coulson a little deeper in her life. He had yet to find out just how he was her uncle. Darcy either ignored him or baited him when he asked.

Still, standing on the outside and looking in, Clint had to wonder how everyone else missed what he was seeing. It was so obvious when you watched them. At least it was to him. For whatever reason it was that others missed it, he was glad he knew. Coulson had been his handler for so many years professionally and his friend for just as many that it was refreshing to see this side of the man. Darcy was good for him. And knowing that, Clint also knew that he'd do his part in keeping her safe. For Coulson.


	7. Walking A Tightrope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy meets Tony Stark and Captain Rogers while Clint has a little chat with Jane.

_Present Day_

Clint walked into Dr. Foster's lab and found only Jane there. She was sitting at the counter, chewing on a pencil as she studied something on her computer screen. He glanced around but didn't see Darcy. Jane's voice had him turning towards her.“She's not here.”

“Sorry?”

Jane smiled at him. “Darcy. She's not going to be coming in today. I told her to take the day off.”

“Oh,” was all Clint could think to say. His first instinct was to turn and go find Darcy and make sure she was okay. He wasn't sure if it was because her safety was his responsibility or because he felt he owed it to her. He remembered how she looked last night, on the phone with her family, and the tears that had stained her cheeks.

Jane shifted and twisted in her chair to look at him. Her eyes held his and he wasn't sure he liked the speculative look he saw there. She tapped her pencil on the table without saying anything. It was starting to make Clint uncomfortable which said a lot since he could withstand torture without saying a word. Yet this woman's steady stare had him wanting to spill all his secrets. Maybe there was a reason Thor was attracted to her beyond her looks.

Jane stopped tapping her pencil suddenly and said, “You know you can't keep doing this to Darcy. It isn't fair to her.”

He stiffened. “I'm not sure I know what you are talking about.”

She snorted and flapped a hand at him. “Don't play stupid. You know exactly what I'm talking about. But in case your memory really is that short, I'll remind you. Silent treatment.”

“I am not giving her the silent treatment,” Clint protested. “I talked to her yesterday.”

“No, you gave orders yesterday,” Jane corrected gently. “You overheard something and jumped to conclusions without bothering to find out the facts. Then you treated her like she didn't have a brain in her head.”

“That is not true.”

“It's how she feels, which ultimately is all that matters,” Jane said pointedly. “You've basically ignored her since we arrived. Sure things have been rough. You fought a big battle. You lost someone who has been a part of your life. But that doesn't excuse your behavior towards her when she didn't do anything wrong. Especially since Darcy lost that same person.”

Clint just stared at her, wondering who this woman was. In New Mexico the only time Jane had been this protective was when her research had been threatened. Now she was acting like a mama bear and Darcy was her cub. He didn't, couldn't, fault her since it said a lot about how close the two women had gotten, but he didn't like being at the end of her claws. Even worse was the fact that she was scolding him with a soft voice and smiling eyes.

“I have my reasons.” Clint crossed his arms over his chest.

Jane rolled her eyes and closed the laptop. “I'm sure you do and I'm sure they are valid ones. But don't you think it is a little unfair to Darcy for you to do something like this when she doesn't have a _single clue_ as to why you are playing 'the avoid her' game?”

There had been a change in her voice at the end. A slight emphasis on the words 'single clue' that made Clint stand a little straighter. He stared at Jane, his eyes penetrating as he searched her face. Jane just raised a brow at the questioning stare and said nothing. But there was knowledge in her eyes. Knowledge that made Clint release the breath he didn't even realize he was holding.

“You know.” It was said softly with a slight air of defeat.

Jane folded her hands in her lap and nodded slowly. “I had a very long talk with Eric last night after I left Darcy. He was reluctant to talk, probably for the same reasons you are. But in the end he told me.”

“And?” Clint asked before he could stop himself. He should have just turned and left the minute she started this conversation. The last thing he wanted to talk about was what happened to him. But he found he couldn't make himself move. He wasn't sure why but it felt important to get Jane's opinion. Of course if she started blaming him for Phil Coulson's death like others have he'd probably lose it.

Jane shrugged one shoulder. “To be honest I don't think I can imagine how you or Eric must feel now. It's tantamount to rape to me, what Loki did to you. He invaded your minds, stripped you of everything, and remade you to do his dirty work because he couldn't, what? Do it himself?” She paused and when Clint didn't say anything, she went on, “You blame yourself. That's understandable. But what you are doing, the avoidance thing with Darcy? It isn't helping.”

“I'm not sure anything helps,” Clint said frowning.

“Let me ask you something,” Jane started then paused, waiting to see if Clint would object.

Clint thought about saying no. He didn't even know why he was still talking to her, except it felt almost a relief to talk to someone about what he had gone through, even if it was in a vague sort of way without addressing the details. He nodded and added, “Though I won't promise to answer.”

“Fair enough,” Jane retorted. She picked up her pencil again and tapped it against the desk. “Do you blame Eric for his part? For creating the device that opened the portal?”

Clint looked at her like she had just lost her mind. “No. It's stupid to blame him. Even more so since he's the one who built in the safety that allowed Natasha to turn it off.”

“Rather smart of him wasn't it?” Jane asked with a smile. “He's always been like that. So smart, so in control. I've looked up to him for so many years. He's more than just a mentor to me. He's like another father. I'm very lucky to be able to work and learn from him.”

“Uh huh,” Clint muttered, not sure where she was going with this.

“So, if you don't blame him, why do you blame yourself?” Jane asked softly, never taking her eyes off him.

Clint started, not really expecting that. Though, he realized, he should have. It had been a subtle build up, focusing on Dr. Selvig rather than himself from the start. She was good. But it was a question he didn't have an answer for. He didn't want to even think about it. He wasn't ready or willing to absolve himself for his sins. “It's different.”

“Why?” Jane pressed. “Because Eric is a scientist and you're a solider? If you think it's because you cause death when ordered, stop that and try and remember how many died once the portal was open. Do you really think that you are the only one suffering from the misconception that the deaths caused by Loki are in any way your fault because of the part you were forced to play?”

“I don't need a shrink,” Clint snarled gruffly, unwilling to even think about what she said. It made too much sense, sense he wasn't willing to admit to. “I'll check on you in an hour or so. Please don't leave the tower without letting me know.”

Jane said nothing as she watched him leave. She let the pencil dangle from her fingers as she stared into space. When Eric had told her what had happened to him and let it slip that it had happened to Agent Barton as well she had been completely horrified. She hadn't wanted to think that a brother of Thor was capable of such an atrocity. It didn't matter that it had been Loki that had sent the Destroyer to Earth, she wanted to believe that somehow Thor's brother was redeemable, that upon Thor's return to Asgard he had worked things out.

Knowing that it had been Loki that had caused so much chaos had pretty much shattered that desire. But she had still clung, barely, to the thought that he could be saved. Learning that he had taken over the minds of two men she knew and liked, well that crushed the hope. She had told Eric that she didn't blame him, and she didn't. She just didn't understand and probably never would. The same applied to Barton, only Barton's situation was so much more complicated since he was carrying guilt over Phil Coulson.

Of course, now that she knew, she could understand why Barton would avoid Darcy. She didn't know what Nick Fury had been thinking, assigning Barton to duty when he should be off getting help. Making Barton be around Darcy, a tangible reminder of Phil Coulson, well it was just cruel and lowered her esteem in the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

She had told Eric she wouldn't tell Darcy, though she was sure that Darcy wouldn't blame him for any part he played. Her first instinct had been to tell Darcy why Barton was trying so hard to ignore her. But something made her hold back and made her speak to Clint first. Now, well it was more complicated, wasn't it? She should tell Darcy, but knowing that Darcy was Coulson's niece, that just changed everything. She was almost certain her assistant wouldn't blame Barton, but she had been wrong about Loki and could be wrong again. Sighing, she turned back to her computer and wished just that things were a little less complicated.

 

OoOoO

 

Darcy was grateful for Jane insisting that she take the day off, but it was two in the afternoon and she was going crazy. She hadn't left her room yet, opting to munch on pop tarts in lieu of going to get actual food. She went through her email, checking in with friends, and declining the job offers she had gotten. God it felt like forever ago she was graduating and sending off resumes for a job. Then New York happened and now she was working with Jane again.

A small part of her died when she emailed refusals, but she told herself to be realistic. Sure it would have been nice to be doing something that put her degree in use, but working with Jane and helping her, that was even more important than getting a job to justify four years of college. Still, it stung as she sent out all five emails to the jobs that would have been fantastic for her career. Eventually, she promised herself, once this was settled she would reapply. But for now, turning them down citing a death in the family was the only thing she could do.

But once she finished catching up with her email she literally had nothing to do. She spent an hour thumbing through a novel she had been meaning to read but never got around to. That failed to hold her attention and she read the same page for twenty minutes. After that she went through her wardrobe, intending on sorting through some clothes, but that failed completely because she didn't want to get rid of any.

With nothing else to do she decided it was time to venture out into the common areas. If she was going to be living here it made sense that she attempt to get to know the place. So Darcy abandoned her own rooms, wearing her rattiest jeans and a worn CCR shirt; she had stolen it from Phil the one Christmas he was able to come and visit. She always wore it when she was feeling blah and God knows she was feeling blah today.

She used the stairs rather than the elevator to get to the shared living room. No one was there so she claimed one of the couches. She decided after sitting down that she was never going to move again. It was the perfect couch, just soft enough that she sank a little. She could sleep on this couch and never be unhappy. Stretching out Darcy snuggled into the cushions and closed her eyes. She figured someone had to show up eventually and until then, she'd just rest her eyes.

Resting her eyes turned into a three hour nap and the only reason she woke up was because she heard two voices arguing behind her. Covering a yawn with a hand, she propped herself up on one elbow and peeked over the back of the couch. Tony Stark was standing in the middle of the room, arguing with a tall, sandy blonde haired man who was, in Darcy's humble opinion, really fucking cut. Her eyes raked up and down the unknown man's body and she whistled without thinking.

Both men stopped and turned to look at her. She flashed them a nervous smile, realizing a little too late that the man Tony was arguing with was Captain America. “Uh...hello?”

Tony flashed her a brilliant smile. “Miss Lewis, hello.”

“Hello,” Captain America said and Darcy had to restrain herself from turning into a complete puddle when he smiled at her. Oh good lord he was handsome in that good old all American way. She could practically smell the homemade apple pie wafting from him.

“Sorry about that,” Darcy apologized. “Totally didn't mean to whistle at you but Jesus you are fucking cut. Were you born that way or what?”

Tony burst out laughing as Captain America's face turned the brightest shade of red Darcy had ever seen. Tony pointed at Darcy and said with a sly grin, “Oh I am so keeping you.”

Captain America gaped at Tony. “You can't keep her, Stark. She's not a possession.”

Darcy waved a hand idly at that and sat up. “Oh I'm totally fine with being kept by a hot ass billionaire. Trust me, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.” She gave Tony a winsome smile. “So do I get my own car or do I get a driver.”

“Sweetheart, you can have whatever you want.”

“Fantastic. Just give me yor little black credit card and I'll go shopping tomorrow,” Darcy said with a grin.

“Done.”

Captain America looked between the two of them with disbelief and said, “Stark, you should be ashamed of yourself.”

Darcy, smothering a snicker, favored Tony with a stern look and said, a bit mockingly, “That's right, Mr. Stark, you should be ashamed. Tempting me with the credit card. Why you could turn a girl's head, being all generous like that.”

“Are you making fun of me or him?” Tony asked, jerking a finger at Captain America.

“Both?” Darcy answered with a grin.

“Seriously, I like you. Don't leave,” Tony ordered with a grin.

“Yessir!” Darcy replied with a salute. She twisted to look at Captain America who was giving them both looks that clearly said he thought they were insane. She offered him a hand. “I remember seeing you at Agent Coulson's funeral. I'm Darcy Lewis, Dr. Foster's lab assistant.”

“Captain Steve Rogers,” he replied, shaking her hand.

She pouted. “Oh man, I can't call you Captain America? No fun.”

“You can if you want, I suppose,” Steve offered tentatively. “But I do prefer Steve or Captain Rogers.”

“He's really formal. You'll get used to it,” Tony said with a roll of his eyes. “So what brings you out and about?”

“Jane gave me the day off and I got bored,” Darcy confessed. “There's only so much one can do when they stick to their room.”

“Perish the thought. JARVIS,” Tony called.

“Yes?” came a disembodied British accent.

Darcy jumped and looked around. She had known, logically, that Tony had a self learning AI that was wired throughout the building. She had even known that if she wanted she could ask the AI anything. But it was one thing to know about it and a completely different thing to hear it and see nothing. It was a little freaky.

“Okay, that's just freaking weird,” Darcy confessed.

“I'm sorry, Miss Lewis.”

“Uh...” A computer was apologizing for her. Just when she thought things couldn't get weirder.

“Well JARVIS can be a little weird but he keeps things running smoothly around here. Just please for the love of God don't ask him to look up kittens on YouTube.” Tony suppressed a shudder.

“Why?” Darcy wanted to know.

“JARVIS likes kittens. One video leads into days of random kitten videos popping up when you are busy doing things, like I don't know, fixing a very expensive metal suit that has the possibility of exploding if the wrong piece is removed,” Tony answered with a glare that was directed towards the ceiling.

Darcy bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Oh that's real tragic. How about baby goat videos, are those okay?”

“Sure, though I don't know why, goats are weird.”

“Psh, baby goats are adorable,” Darcy countered.

“There you are,” came Clint's voice from the elevator.

Without meaning to, Darcy tensed up. Something both men, who had by now come around to sit with her on the couch, didn't miss. Tony looked between the two of them, one brow raised questioningly. Steve, being much more subtle, shifted ever so slightly closer to Darcy. For whatever reason Darcy was uncomfortable with Clint's appearance and even though he didn't know her, he couldn't help being a little bit more protective since she was a woman. Of course after working with Agent Romanov, he was aware that women could take care of themselves. In fact, if the Black Widow found out he was feel protective cause Darcy was a woman, he was sure she'd teach him a very painful lesson.

“Here I am,” Darcy replied, forcing a lightness in her voice.

“Dr. Foster said you had the day off. When I checked your room, you weren't there,” Clint said, moving into the room and ignoring his two teammates.

“I didn't realize that having a day off meant I had to stay in my room all day. I was under the impression that I was free to move about the tower,” Darcy said icily. It was hard not to get defensive but he was being really high handed, which automatically meant that Darcy was on guard.

Clint gave her a frustrated look. “That isn't what I meant. I just didn't know where you were.”

Darcy shrugged. “Did you ask JARVIS?”

Clint just looked at her without saying a word.

“No, he did not ask me for your location. Had he made a query I would have been more than happy to let him know that you were in the living room,” JARVIS said helpfully.

“There, you see,” Darcy said with a wave of her hand towards the air above her, “Next time, just ask.”

Clint ground his teeth together in obvious irritation and Darcy smiled sweetly at him. He really wanted to reach out and just strangle her. He knew what she was doing. She was being all sweet and innocent when he knew she was pissed at him. Rather than lash out, something he probably would have preferred, she was acting like there was nothing wrong. He just couldn't figure out if it was because she wanted to annoy him or because Stark and Rogers were there.

He looked at the two men. Steve looked worried and Stark just looked amused. Darcy smiled at Steve and Tony and jumped up without looking at Clint. “It was nice meeting you, Captain Rogers. Mr. Stark, I just gotta thank you for the amazing room and I'll talk to you later about letting you keep me. But I should check in on Jane and make sure she's eaten something other than a pop tart.”

“Bring her to dinner,” Tony said, deciding then and there that they would have an official dinner night at the Tower where everyone was required to attend, barring any unforeseen circumstances. “Eight o'clock in the dining room. JARVIS can tell you how to get there if you don't know already.”

“She may not want to leave the lab if she's deep in research mode,” Darcy warned.

“She has to eat and I'm curious about her research,” Tony pointed out.

Darcy smiled warmly at him. “I'll drag her kicking and screaming if I have to.”

She brushed past Clint without a word. Clint gave his teammates one hard look and turned to follow her. Steve and Tony exchanged a quick look and Steve stood up. “Agent Barton, I have a few questions I've been meaning to ask you.”

Clint stalled, torn between staying and talking to Steve and going after Darcy. Jane's talk had got him thinking and it made him realize just how inconvenient it would be to try and stay away from Darcy when he was literally required to be with her. So he had gone looking for her to try and attempt to smooth things over. It would be good for the assignment and he quite honestly didn't want her mad at him.

He looked at Steve. “Find me later. I need to discuss a few things with Miss Lewis.”

“She didn't look like she wanted to talk to you,” Steve said quietly, watching Clint's face. He was surprised to see the agent's face tighten before smoothing out.

“In fact,” Tony commented idly as he rose and walked over to wet bar, “She couldn't get out of here fast enough once you arrived. She was quite relaxed before you turned up, wasn't she Cappie?”

“Don't call me that,” Steve said wearily. “She was relaxed, even if what you said to her was highly inappropriate.”

“Rogers, inappropriate it may have been, but she didn't mind. Trust me, women these days don't mind the odd lewd joke,” Tony informed Steve with a complete straight face as he fixed himself a scotch. “And if she had minded, well I'll wager my suit that Miss Lewis is the type to say something about it.”

Clint felt a surge of anger the moment Steve brought up inappropriate jokes. Red completely hazed his vision at Tony's comment of lewd jokes. Completely and totally irrational since he knew how Darcy could be, but it didn't stop him from taking three steps towards Tony and grabbing the billionaire by the front of his t-shirt and jerk him up on his toes.

“Stay away from Darcy, Stark. She's not one of your women,” he growled.

Steve was the first to react, Tony was too busy staring at Clint in complete shock, which was saying something since very little shocked him nowadays. Steve stood next to the pair, one hand out like he was physically going to break Clint's hold on Tony. “Agent Barton, let go of Mr. Stark.”

Clint gave Tony a little shake and let go. Tony stumbled back as Clint gave him one hot glare and stalked out of the room. Tony straightened slowly and smoothed out his shirt, giving Steve a confused look. “Well that was interesting.”

“Is there something I'm missing here?” Steve asked, just as confused as Tony.

“If there is, I'm missing it too,” Tony replied, just a little shaken and more than a little curious. Now he wanted to know just why Barton would react that way about the lovely Miss Lewis. He grinned at Steve. “Dinner is going to be interesting, don't you think?”

 


	8. Temptation and Other Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agent Barton just knows that one day Darcy Lewis will be the death of him.

_The Previous Summer_

 

Darcy faced Phil, a frown on her face as she pressed her phone against her shoulder to block sound. He was being difficult and they were arguing, not something she wanted the person on the other end of the line to hear. They were standing outside of the diner and Darcy was not happy. She had been enjoying a nice lunch with Phil and Clint, taking a break from all the science stuff since Jane and Eric had been on a tear about some of the readings they had gotten the night before. The nice lunch, which had been filled with Barton telling stories about Phil, had been disturbed when she got a call from home. Which led to the argument with Phil. The day was starting to suck.

“I can't tell her no. I promised her she could visit,” Darcy hissed at her uncle.

“Darcy, this isn't a good time. There have been reports-”

Darcy cut Phil off. “I don't care about the reports. I promised.”

“It isn't safe for her.”

“It's safe for me.”

“You have four agents around you at all times, you are as safe as I can make you without locking you up in a high security building.”

“That's four agents that would keep her safe as well,” Darcy shot back, ignoring the implied threat of lockdown.

Phil pinched his nose. “If she comes out here then she'd have to be read in on the project. Do you really think that would be wise? It's bad enough you are involved.”

“Hey,” Darcy said, insulted.

“You know what I mean,” Phil said with a sigh. “I just don't think that it would be the wisest course of action at this time. There is no way she could come out and not have questions when she sees all the agents. What will you tell her?”

“Uh the truth?” Darcy offered.

Phil just looked at her and she scuffed her toe against the pavement. He had a point, she was living the truth and still found it hard to believe at times. “Okay, so you are right. But shit, she is not going to be happy.”

“She doesn't have to be happy, just safe,” Phil pointed out.

“What do I tell her?”

“Whatever you want, just discourage her from coming out here.”

“Yeah easy for you to say, you aren't the one talking to her,” Darcy muttered and turned away.

Phil shook his head and turned when Clint came back out. Darcy had moved several steps away and was gesturing wildly as she spoke on the phone. Clint gestured at her. “What's that about?”

“Family business,” Phil said curtly.

“Oh,” Clint murmured and dropped the subject. He was insanely curious as to what family business could cause such a stir but the look on his boss' face told him that Phil was not in a mood to share. So he tucked his hands into the pocket of the worn jeans he was wearing and tried not to listen to Darcy's side of the conversation.

“Libs, I wish you could come but things are a little crazy around here.” Darcy paused, twisting her head to glare at Phil before turning her attention back to the phone. “Well Dr. Foster has a new lead on her research and we are spending a lot of time out in the desert. Trust me when I say you would be bored out of your mind.” She wasn't even lying much, just a little. Jane did have a new lead and they had been spending several nights out in the desert where Thor had first appeared taking all kinds of readings.

“Well I know you could but honestly what would you do while I was gone? There isn't anything to do in this town. No I'm serious, it's boring as hell. If I didn't have work with Dr. Foster and my online classes I think I would have shot myself by now.” There was another pause and Darcy rolled her eyes. “I'll make it up to you. My internship will be over by the end of the summer. Then I have like a week before I have to go back to school. We'll do something then. I'll take you to a concert or something.” She laughed then. “Yeah but I'll hit up Uncle Phil for money to pay for it, you know he won't mind. Okay. Tell Gran I love her. Good bye.”

Darcy hung up, tucked the phone back in her pocket, and spun back to face Phil and Clint. She pointed a finger at Phil. “You are responsible for finding concert tickets to Jake Owen or Luke Bryan.”

Phil sighed and nodded without protest. “Yeah I can do that.”

Clint laughed at the defeated look on Phil's face and grinned at Darcy. He had never seen Coulson give in on something so quickly and without protest. “You are fucking awesome.”

“Agent Barton,” Phil said with warning.

“No, it's okay. I am fucking awesome. He just doesn't realize how fucking awesome I am,” Darcy said with a wink at Barton.

Phil gave a disapproving look and scolded, “Don't flirt with my agents.”

Darcy looped her arm through Clint's and smiled coyly at her uncle. “But it's so much fun.”

Clint was torn. He had started to enjoy the playful flirting with Darcy, knowing it wouldn't amount to anything. But the look on Coulson's face told him he should just keep his mouth shut. He was already in a bit of hot water with Coulson from the other day when Coulson had walked in on him offering Darcy a back massage, even if it had been a joke. 

Remembering Phil's previous threat, Clint coughed and pulled away from Darcy when Phil replied, “I have enough problems, Darcy, I don't need you filling their heads with nonsense.”

“Psh,” Darcy said, not even bothered by the reproach in Phil's voice. “Clint knows I'm joking, that's why it's fun. He's safe. Aren't you Agent Barton?”

Both Coulson and Darcy looked at Clint, who got a deer in the headlights look. Safe wasn't the word he'd use, considering that he was, even if he refused to admit it, a little bit attracted to the younger woman. He wanted to contradict Darcy but he didn't want to piss of his boss. So he chose the safest road and said evenly in an attempt to get the attention off the idea of anything romantic between him and Darcy, “I'm gay.”

Darcy and Phil stopped mid-step and stared at him. He didn't know who started to laugh first, but they both doubled over clutching their stomachs. Mildly insulted, he just watched them until they had some semblance of control. “You know, I don't know if it is reassuring that you don't believe me or insulting that you just assume I'm straight.”

“Oh sweetie,” Darcy said with a giggle and wiped a tear from her eye. “You couldn't be gay even if you tried.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Clint demanded, feeling a bit insulted.

Phil slid his sunglasses over his eyes and wrapped one arm around Darcy's shoulders. “I have no idea what she means, but I know it's a lie because I've never once seen you check out a man. A woman yes, multiple times and often, but never another man.”

“I could just be really subtle about it,” Clint defended.

Phil just looked at him and walked away after giving Darcy a quick kiss on the forehead. Clint looked at Darcy and gestured towards Phil. “What was that look?”

“That was his 'don't treat me like an idiot, I know everything' look,” Darcy answered. “Besides, you are so not gay but nice try.”

“How do you know I'm not gay?”

“Because whenever you think I'm not looking, you stare at my tits and drool a little,” Darcy answered with a snort.

Clint flushed. He had really thought she hadn't noticed and it wasn't like he could help himself. When she wasn't wearing a sweater her breasts just drew his gaze. It wasn't his fault. He was a man. And they were awesome. “I'm sorry?”

“Don't be, they are a really impressive set of tits,” Darcy said with a chuckle. Arching a brow at him as he studiously avoided looking down at the body parts in question, she pulled her shoulders back. The motion caused the fabric of her shirt to drag tight across her chest. The tank top she was wearing had a low neckline so her cleavage was very out there today.

To give him credit, Clint tried to keep his gaze locked on her face. But when she quirked one eyebrow in a silent challenge, he lost his concentration. Darcy smirked as Clint's eye's drifted downward and locked on her chest. She gave him five seconds then said, “Coming, Phil!”

Clint jerked and spun around guiltily as Darcy dissolved into giggles. At his disapproving look, she shrugged. “Admit it, it was funny.”

Clint shoved his hands in his pocket and muttered as they started back down the street, “You will either get me kill me or shipped off to Africa.”


	9. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy confronts Clint and Clint reveals just how broken he is.

_Present Time_

Darcy swung by her room after leaving the three Avengers in the living room. She changed out of her ratty jeans into a pair that were a little more presentable. She thought about changing her shirt but kept on the old CCR shirt. If she was going to be dining with whatever Avengers were in the building then she wanted some of her uncle's bravery. Snatching up her iPod, she headed down to Jane's lab. She'd check on the scientist and get some work done. 

The elevator opened to Clint's scowling face. What little good mood she had left drained away when she met his gaze. Immediately on the offensive, she snapped, “What do you want now?” 

“You shouldn't flirt with Stark. He doesn't know where the lines are,” Clint said without hesitating and crossing his arms over his chest. 

She sucked in a breath and attempted to count to ten in her head before she completely flipped her lid. She told herself that Clint didn't mean to sound so patronizing, that he was just trying to look out for her. The little pep talk didn't help. 

Taking one step forward she jabbed a finger in his chest and hissed under her breath, “Fury may have assigned you to look out for us while we are working on Jane's project, but do not think for even a minute that gives you the right to step in Phil Coulson's shoes.” 

She had expected him to snap something back. It wasn't like they hadn't had arguments in New Mexico. She expected him to tell her that he was only warning her for her own benefit. What she saw, instead, was the paling of his face. He went completely bone white and without another word, turned and walked away. Darcy was left staring at him, wondering what in the hell had just happened. Confused by his reaction, she walked after him. 

It probably would have been smarter to just go on to the lab and harass Jane into joining them for dinner. It probably would have been wiser to just ignore Clint and his mood. But since she didn't care for being smart or wise, she followed him. His reaction to Phil's name had been dramatic and unexpected and she had no intention of letting go until she figured out what his problem was. 

She followed him up the stairs, well aware that he knew she was following him. It wasn't like she was trying to be quiet or sneaky about it. He led her up four flights of stairs and exited the stairwell onto a floor that was rather sparse in its decorations. Since it didn't look like anything Tony would have done, as evidenced by all the gadgets and toys in the common areas, she had to assume that this was his floor. 

When Jane had told her that Tony was going to put two Avengers to a floor, Darcy had been a little stunned. Privately she thought that all the Avengers could be housed on one floor and Tony was just showing off with giving them so much space. It went to show just how much her life had changed. As it was, she and Jane were housed on what would be, if they got him back, Thor's floor. Tony's reasoning had been that if Thor was as completely gaga over Jane as he had heard, the god wouldn't mind them sharing his floor. Frankly Darcy agreed and hadn't complained. She liked having so much space to herself. 

Still, Clint had been here a couple days, if she remembered correctly. Sure a lot of it had been getting settled in and technically working, but she would have assumed he decorated a little. So far the only things that adorned the walls were paintings of landscapes. Figuring that Clint could use just a little time to regroup himself, she paused by one of the paintings and looked at it. 

It was a study of the desert at sunset. It was all brilliant shades of oranges, yellows, and reds. Cacti rose from the ground in dark silhouettes. Looking at it, the only thought Darcy had was New Mexico. She saw miles of land void of progress with endless blue skies. The silence that came when you stood in the middle of the desert at night looking up at the stars and seeing each one twinkle as it viewing them on a high definition screen. It screamed of peace and solitude. 

Shivering a little, she glanced at the open doorway Clint had disappeared to. She didn't have to go in. She could turn around and leave. It wouldn't cost her anything except a little bit of pride since Clint knew she had followed. So why was it, instead of turning and leaving, she crossed the hallway and stepped into his apartment? 

It was just as sparsely decorated as the hallway. The only furniture in the main room was a couch and two chairs. No tables. Nothing on the walls. It was if no one lived there at all. If it hadn't been for the leather jacket tossed on the back of the couch, Darcy would have believed the place was vacant. 

Biting her lip, Darcy walked down a short hallway and peeked into one of the bedrooms. It was completely empty. Frowning, she moved down to the other room and looked in. A full size bed had been shoved in one corner. Weapons, mainly different bows with several quivers, hung from the wall. A large metal gun cabinet was set up in one corner and she knew that it must hold all his rifles. Clint may favor the bow as his weapon of choice, but Darcy knew that he was also very good with guns. In fact, if it could be shot, Clint was probably good with it. 

There was a dresser shoved into another corner. The entire room was clean. Not a single piece of clothing was tossed over the only other piece of furniture, a chair, in the room. The entire room looked a little sterile, as if someone was living here but not. 

Clint stood in front of the windows, arms crossed over his chest, back stiff. He had, at some point between leaving her in at the elevators and coming into the room, slipped on a pair of sunglasses so she wouldn't be able to see his eyes. His face might as well been a piece of smooth marble because there was nothing there to signify how he was feeling or what he was thinking. 

Darcy hovered in the doorway, unsure of what she should say or do. The tension was thick and awkward between them. Darcy felt like the entire friendship that grown between them in New Mexico was just gone. Once upon a time it had been a simple matter of just walking into the same room as Clint and starting up a conversation on the most inane of topics. Now it just felt like a single word would shatter the world around them. 

It made it all the more confusing for her because she didn't know why she was feeling like this. It felt like Clint was a stranger. She had no idea where the funny and sarcastic man she had befriended had gone. It was like someone had stolen him and replaced him with someone who was closed off and sullen. 

“Are you just going to stand there or say something?” Clint said, breaking the silence. 

At the sound of his voice, Darcy jumped. It had been quiet for so long that the sound startled her. Bracing one hand on the door frame, she rubbed her chest over her heart with the other. Clint still hadn't looked away from whatever it was he was staring at out the windows so Darcy slid her gaze away from him, staring fixedly at the bows that decorated the walls. 

“I'm really not sure what to say,” she admitted quietly. 

“Then why did you follow me?” Clint finally asked after several minutes of silence passed. 

Darcy gave a shrug, realized he was still wasn't looking at her, and said softly, “Because I hate this.” 

The only indication that Clint gave that he heard her was the barest twitch of his shoulders. She sighed and added, “Why are you avoiding me and being so damn nasty? What did I do?” 

“Not everything is about you, Darcy.” Clint's voice was harsh and it made her wince. 

“I realize that, I'm not a child. But when you go from actively avoiding being in the same room with me to being an utter dickhead whenever we talk...well I'm going to assume that it is about me.” She swallowed hard and whispered, “I didn't mean to compare you to Phil. Not really.” 

Clint's shoulders tightened and he seemed to hunch in on himself at the mention of Phil. It wasn't the first time he had reacted to Phil's name and Darcy had to wonder just how affected Clint was by his handler's death. Maybe Jane had been on to something about Clint grieving too. Sympathetic and understanding all too well how much it hurt to lose someone who was a big part of your life, she moved further into the room so that she was standing behind Clint. 

Reaching out tentatively, she rested just the tips of her fingers on his shoulder, treating him like a wounded animal who might snap without warning. He twitched just a little but didn't jerk away, so growing bolder she stepped closer until she was barely brushing up against his back and laid her palm where her fingers had been. His warmth soaked into her skin and she had to fight the urge to wrap her arms around him and offer, and receive, comfort. 

“I miss him too,” she said simply. 

His body stiffened but he didn't step away. His voice, when he finally spoke, sounded a little broken. “It isn't about Phil.” 

“Funny, because you don't react well whenever I say his name.” Darcy bit her lip and then asked, “Clint, why are you avoiding me?” 

He was quiet for so long that Darcy thought he wasn't going to answer. When the answer did come, it wasn't what she expected. “I'm just a little messed up in the head. Didn't think it was smart to be around you.” 

She pondered it for a minute and then smacked him on the shoulder as hard as she could. “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.” 

Shocked, Clint twisted to look at her and she glared at him. This close to him, she could see his eyes narrow behind his shades and he looked away, jaw clenched tightly. He offered no defense for his words and that made Darcy growl a little in frustration. She stepped away from him and wrapped her arms around her middle. It was fairly obvious that no matter what she said, Clint wouldn't defend himself. But she still had to try. 

“You know, I thought we were friends. Friends don't cut each other out of their lives because it may be a little hard.” 

Clint just shrugged. “Then I guess I'm not a real good friend.” 

“No, you're a total asshole. Not to make it all about me, but I thought that you might have a little better understanding than most of how much I am hurting. I really need a friend who understands.” She let out a long breath and shook her head. “When my mom died, I had Phil. Now he's gone and I don't have anyone. Maybe I was selfish for thinking that you might care, but until I showed up in New York you never gave me a reason not to believe that. And maybe I was stupid for thinking that we could help each other get over Phil’s death because I know how much he cared for you and I assumed that it went both ways. I can live with all that because that's on me, not you.” 

She pointed a finger at her chest for emphasis and then gave him such a resigned look it made his heart ache. “But whatever reasons you have for acting this way, for pushing me away, I don't like it. I never thought you'd act like a coward. I want the old Clint back. Or at least an explanation. Because frankly, I'm done. I'm already dying from losing Phil. I can't handle adding you to that too and that's what this feels like. That you've died and just haven't had the decency to get in the coffin.” 

She hated the harshness of her words and already regretted them. But dammit she was tired of being treated like a plague carrier and not even know why. There was only so much she could take and frankly, she'd reached her limit. 

She turned, knowing that he wouldn't say anything, and let out a little gasp at the lithe woman filling up the doorway with her rather petite form. Well petite compared to the rest of the Avengers. She was dressed all in black and had short red hair that flowed around her face in soft waves. Her face was one of classic beauty, completely flawless. Darcy felt positively drab next to her. 

Darcy knew she was staring but she couldn't help it. She heard Clint shift behind her and he said, sounding a little resigned, “Nat.” 

“Clint. Am I interrupting?” Her voice was low with just the slightest hint of an accent Darcy couldn't place. She was just standing there but Darcy got the feeling that she could take down a charging army without even breaking into a sweat. 

Wondering just how long this woman had been standing there and listening, Darcy found she just couldn't make herself care. It really didn't matter anymore who knew what and she was just tired. She shook her head, “No, not at all. I was just leaving.” 

Quietly and without looking back at Clint, she brushed past the woman, who stepped in the room to get out of her way, and left. She rode the elevator to the lab, where she found Jane, munching on a pop tart while studying some stream of numbers and letters on a computer. After enduring a light scolding from the scientist for coming in when she had the day off, Darcy settled in with her own computer and started to work her way through the data Jane had been compiling from the New Mexico project, all the while ignoring the twisting in her gut that was telling her she'd lost a valued friend. 

OoOoO

“She's wrong you know,” Natasha said as she moved to sit on Clint's bed. “The old Clint she wants back, he's gone. Isn't he?” 

“Sometimes I'm not sure if there can even be a new Clint,” Clint said, turning back to stare at the window. 

Natasha watched from beneath lowered lashes. She had just gotten back from a day long assignment and the entire time she had been gone, she'd been worried and unfocused. Because of Clint. It had been one thing to break Loki's hold. From there they had gone into battle. Clint was clear minded for that, but after? She had watched as he went without sleep, as he pushed himself and withdrew from everyone. It was nothing she hadn't been expecting, but thinking it and seeing it weren't altogether the same. 

She knew what he was going through. He had been completely twisted around. He had been stripped and remade. Now he was struggling to find the old him and she knew he never would. What he had experienced wasn't something that would go away with time. He would have to work to find a balance. It wouldn't be easy, but then things never were. She was still struggling to find her balance. 

“One day you will open your eyes and it won't be the old Clint or who you are now that looks out at the world,” Natasha replied evenly. 

“That's mighty cryptic of you,” Clint sneered. 

She gave a shrug. “I am Russian. What do you expect?” She glanced at the door. “Who was that?” 

“Dr. Foster's lab assistant,” Clint answered shortly. 

She raised one brow. “She speaks to you as if she knows you.” 

He gave a noncommittal shrug. “She knew parts of me, parts I let her see.” 

“Ah,” Natasha said. “You like her.” 

“She's alright.” 

“No, you like her. If anyone else had spoken to you like that, barring myself, I believe you would have punched them, no matter what gender they were.” Natasha gave a slow smile when he glared at her. “Is she the New Mexico girl?” 

“I'm never getting drunk with you again,” Clint muttered under his breath. 

“So that's a yes.” Natasha's smile grew. “She's very pretty.” 

Clint gave her a sharp look. “Don't. Just don't. There are so many reasons why that train of thought is wrong.” 

“It isn't the age difference is it?” 

“It's one reason,” Clint corrected, “But not all. Besides, I don't see her that way.” 

Natasha said something in Russian that wasn't at all flattering. Clint replied using the same language and his response made her tilt her head to the side and laugh softly. He shook his head. “Tasha, just don't.” 

She rose and wiped her hands on her pants and padded over to stand next to him. “Are you really not attracted to her or are you just hiding?” 

He turned his head to stare at her, his eyes concealed by the darkness of the shades. He spoke slowly and evenly, “I am not attracted to her.” 

Natasha studied him for several long moments and nodded. “Okay then.” 

He didn't let his facial expression change but he had to wonder if Natasha believed him. If she did, he found it hard to believe since he didn't believe himself. He turned back to the window and let himself get lost in his thoughts, knowing that Natasha would just accept the silence and either remain or leave without saying anything. 

Hearing Darcy accuse him of trying to take Phil's place had been like a punch to the gut. A punch thrown by Stark in his Iron Man suit. It had completely knocked him sideways. Much like the rage that had overtaken him upon learning that Tony had flirted with Darcy. Both incidents had robbed him of all rational thought. 

At least he knew why being compared to Phil bothered him so much. In addition to the ever growing guilt he carried around, it was the thought of anyone, much less him, taking over Phil's role in any shape or form. It wasn't what he wanted or even what he was trying to do. For Darcy to even suggest that, well it was stomach churning. 

As for Stark...well that was just looking after Darcy's self-interest, right? If Phil hadn't liked Clint flirting with his niece then there was no way in hell he'd stand for Tony Stark, self proclaimed womanizer, even smiling in her direction. Clint figured that for the billionaire it was just one big game and that Darcy was the same as a new toy for him. Stark would to play with it for a little bit before he got tired and tossed it aside. Clint just didn't want Darcy to get hurt. She might flirt a lot but he figured she'd never met a man like Tony Stark. Stark was a shark and he'd gobble Darcy up before she could even smile. 

Hell, Clint thought scrubbing a hand over his face. Maybe he was starting to sound a little like Coulson. Everything he'd just thought was something he'd expect to hear from Coulson. It was like he was channeling the man. No wonder Darcy had gotten pissed. 

Still, wanting to protect Darcy didn't completely explain his extreme reaction. He had wanted to sink a fist in Stark's face. It was so unlike him. He had his temper but usually he wasn't so volatile. He'd never lost control like that. It went beyond being protective and that wasn't something he was willing to consider. He wasn't going to allow himself to think like that. Maybe, just maybe, once he would have but not now. No way in hell. 

Resigned to that fact, he turned and saw that Natasha was still standing there. She was lost in her own thoughts. He still didn't know what Loki had said to her during his captivity, but the shadowed look in her eyes he had seen when he came to after she kicked his ass, had turned into so much more. She looked as haunted as he felt. No one would see it, she wouldn't allow that. But he knew. They had been partners for too long for him to miss those subtle cues. 

“So, how are you doing?” he asked. 

She gave one long slow blink then gazed up at him. “Me? I wasn't the one who got turned into Loki's bitch.” 

He didn't even wince. If Stark had said something like that to him, he would have gotten in his face. But Natasha just said it like it was, a fact. Kinda hard to argue with her since it was true. He had been Loki's bitch and hadn't been strong enough to shake it off. 

“But you did have an experience with Loki.” 

She pursed her lips. “I told you it was nothing.” 

“And I believe you even less than you believe me when I say I'm fine.” 

The look she gave him was disgruntled. “We've been partners for far too long.” 

“Maybe so,” Clint agreed. “Doesn't make it any less true.” 

Natasha sniffed and asked, completely changing the subject with a lack of subtly that Clint would have expected from someone else. “It's hard to believe that Phil Coulson has a niece like Darcy Lewis.” 

Clint's mouth fell open and he just stared at her. “How on earth do you know that, Tash?” 

She smirked a little and raised her arms above her head to stretch. “You aren't the only one Coulson trusted. He told me not long after you returned from New Mexico. Asked me to keep an eye on her if something ever happened to him.” 

“He just told you?” Clint asked, eyes widening. 

She nodded. “He said, and I quote, 'Your partner knows so you should know as well. I trust you both with my life, I know that you will do everything in your power to protect her if something ever happens to me.'” 

Clint snorted before he could stop himself. “With his life? Oh yeah, he was an excellent judge of character. I got him killed.” 

Natasha hit him on the arm a lot harder than Darcy had hit him. “The only person who is responsible for Coulson's death is Loki. It wasn't you that drove the scepter through his heart. And Clint, whether you want to face it or not, Coulson was only doing what he was trained to do. He would have been there with that big fucking gun even if it had been another agent leading Loki’s attack. You can't blame yourself.” 

Clint made a frustrated sound and moved away from the window. He walked along the wall that held all his bows, occasionally reaching out and touching one, letting his fingers slide over the cool metals and woods. It soothed him, calmed him down. When he felt centered, he turned to look at Natasha, who had been watching him with eyes that belied her worry. 

“That's the thing. My brain knows that. I know that Coulson would have been in the thick of things, that Fury would have sent him to check on Loki. That was Coulson's role to play. But my heart?” He swallowed hard and looked away. “That's different. I can't help feeling responsible. I don't care what you say about not being trained for this, it doesn't matter. It was my knowledge that helped Loki make his plan. It was my knowledge of the helicarrier that led the men to Loki, because I knew where they would keep him. It was my hand that blew that engine, Tasha. Hell I almost got you killed too. So yeah my brain may know it's not true, but I'm not sure my heart ever will. And what about the men before the helicarrier? When Loki made his escape from the compound? My hands have been stained with blood for a long time, but I'm looking at them differently now that it's the blood of people I admired and respected. I'm disgusted with myself and I can't get over that just because my brain knows it is all bullshit.” 

Natasha had been silent through his rant. It was like she knew just how much it cost him to speak of it and had known exactly how much he needed to speak of it. Somehow she had gotten him there to that point without pushing and prodding like a shrink would have. It irritated him and made him grateful. 

She moved silently so that she was standing next to him and rested a hand on his forearm, a tangible show of support. “It won't ever go away, but I believe it will get easier. You aren't the only one with red in your ledger. But, it helps to think that we did something good when we took out Loki. That we managed to wipe some of that red away. It won't absolve of us of our sins, but it will making living just a little bit easier.” 

“We don't deserve easier,” Clint said quietly. 

Natasha pulled her hand away and gave him a disappointed look. “The fact that you believe that tells me that you are nowhere near ready to heal.” 

“What's that supposed to mean?” Clint demanded. 

Natasha ignored the question and stalked towards the door. Pausing, she looked over her shoulder, “Make nice with Miss Lewis. She deserves that much at least, even if you never tell her the truth.” 

“If I tell her the truth, she'll want nothing to do with me,” Clint admitted after several seconds of silence. It was easier to admit that fear to Natasha, because he knew she'd understand it. Neither one of them were the kind who made friends easily, though he had an easier time at it than she did. Sure he could talk and joke with anyone who was willing to listen when it suited him, but it was a big difference between socializing and making lasting friendships. 

“Oh Clint,” Natasha murmured sadly. “If she's anything like Coulson, it isn't going to matter. She doesn't strike me as the type of person to be so careless with her loyalty.” 

“You don't even know her.” 

“I know that you've treated her like crap since she arrived and yet she still came here to try and figure out how to fix something that she knows is broken, though she doesn't know why,” Natasha said in a quiet voice that was mixed with knowledge and something else he couldn't quite decipher. 

Clint wasn't sure how to respond to that so he said nothing at all. Natasha gave him one last look, raising her brow in that way of hers that said she knew exactly what he wasn't saying. She left without another word. Clint turned and threw himself down on his bed and closed his eyes. Dealing with emotional stuff always wore him out more than the physical and now he just wished this nightmare was over. And try as he might, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Darcy and the mess he'd made of things.


	10. Hawkeye, Really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Phil lets something slip, Darcy has a fun time teasing Clint one afternoon.

_The Previous Summer_

 

Darcy plopped down in Clint's lap with no notice. Clint looked at her warily, a gummi worm dangling from one hand. She gave him her most innocent smile. A sinking feeling formed in his gut. He had come to realize that when Darcy looked this innocent she was usually up to something. He just couldn't figure out what she was up to.

“Can I help you?” he asked as his lips twitched with amusement.

Eyes sparkling mischievously, Darcy tilted her head back and said, “Chirp, chirp. Feed me, Bird-Boy.”

“Oh God,” Clint moaned and slapped a hand over his face, causing his next words to come out muffled, “Who told you?”

Darcy giggled and patted his cheek with mock sympathy. “It might have slipped when I was talking to Uncle Phil last night. Hawkeye.”

Clint gave her a steely eyed look. “I don't suppose that if I asked you not to make a big deal out of this you'd listen?” 

“Are you kidding me?” Darcy asked with a wide smile. “Do you know how much fun I'm going to have with this?”

“Yeah, you'd be having fun. Nowhere in that sentence does it say that I will have fun. In fact, I can pretty much promise that I won't have fun,” Clint pointed out.

Darcy gave a shrug. “You would be right, but there's the fun for me. It's called teasing, Eagle Eye.”

“It's Hawkeye,” Clint corrected and then winced because by correcting her he was encouraging her.

“So, when you train recruits, do they call you Mama Bird?” Darcy asked thoughtfully as her brain shifted gears.

“Only if they want to die,” Clint deadpanned. God he was going to regret staying instead of getting up and leaving. It would have been so much easier if he had just left. Now he was willingly throwing himself on the sacrificial pyre of Darcy's wit and humor.

“Oh! Oh!” Darcy exclaimed, wiggling on his lap as she pulled out her phone. Clint bit back a groan as her ass moved a little too close to his crotch. Silently he ordered his body to behave. The last thing he needed was to get a fucking hard on with Coulson's niece in his lap.

Darcy, unaware of the effect she was having on him, tapped the screen of her phone a few times then held it up triumphantly for him to see. “I heard this and then thought of you.”

Clint watched as a video loaded and then John Denver's The Eagle and The Hawk began to play. He glared at Darcy without saying a word. When she started to sing along, badly, he stood up, completely disregarding the fact that she was still in his lap. Darcy hit the rooftop with a grunted oomph and pouted at him. 

“That was just mean.”

“And that wasn't?” Clint retorted with a gesture to the phone.

“You don't like the song? I do.” She began to chuckle at his dismayed expression. Between giggles, she added, “You know, Uncle Phil and I had an interesting conversation last night.”

“Oh I'm sure,” Clint replied dryly. “I'm all aflutter to find out just what you talked about.”

“He told me,” Darcy continued, ignoring the sarcasm, “that if I wanted a really good show, I should ask you to show me what you can do with your bow.”

“Oh God,” Clint moaned and just buried his head in his hands knowing exactly what was coming.

Darcy's grin turned wicked. “After I scolded him for encouraging me to get in your pants...”

“Tell me you didn't,” Clint begged, giving her a horrified look. He was wearing sunglasses in defense against the bright sun, but Darcy was sure if she could see his eyes, they would be wide with shock.

Hopping up from where she was sitting, she patted Clint on the arm and ignored the little shiver that always followed when she touched him. “I don't like to lie. Anyway! After he sputtered and cursed me for putting that particular image in his head, he explained that your favorite weapon of choice was the bow. With arrows.”

Clint decided right then and there that it was just wrong for one person to look so gleeful over someone's discomfort. Yet, he had to admit that there was something oddly appealing about how happy she looked at causing chaos. He sighed, resigned to the fact that there was no way he could shut Darcy up. “I'm going to be hearing a lot of archer jokes, aren't I?.”

Darcy fiddled with her phone and then held it up. Heart began to play and Dream of The Archer filled the silence. Clint crossed his arms and just stared at her. She turned off the video and asked, “So, can you do that thing Robin Hood does? Shoot one arrow and then shoot again and split the shaft? Cause gotta say that's pretty damn cool.”

“It's not like it's something I do for fun, Darcy.”

“Didn't you mention working in a circus?” Darcy asked, closing her eyes as she recalled one of their earlier conversations. When Clint didn't respond, she opened her eyes and looked at him. He was staring stonily out at the landscape, carefully avoiding her gaze. That was an admission if she ever saw one.

“That's what you did!” Darcy exclaimed with glee. “You did trick shooting!”

“Yes, yes I did. I've always had good eyesight and archery was always an interest,” Clint admitted, realizing if he didn't confess she'd just annoy him until he did. “I grew up shooting the bow and I couldn't let it go when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D, even though I didn't get to use it when I was in the Army.”

Darcy lunged forward and latched on to his arm. “You have to show me your mad bow skills! I insist.”

“You do realize that just by insisting that something should happen doesn't mean it will?” Clint asked mildly.

“It should as I'm the most awesome person in the world.”

“And so humble too,” Clint muttered.

“So did you ever rob from the rich to feed the poor before you joined the Army?” Darcy wondered out loud.

“How long is it going to take you to get all this out of your system?” Clint asked instead of answering.

Darcy tilted her head to the side, silently considering the question. “Less time if you show me your bow.”

Clint smirked and quirked a brow over his sunglasses. “Which bow are you talking about?”

Darcy blinked once then twice and just stared at him, her mouth hanging open a little. For last couple days Clint hadn't been teasing her like he had before Phil caught him. Seemed that Phil's threat was a little too effective. So she was surprised to hear the teasing innuendo coming from him now.

The shock didn't last long and Darcy leered at him. “That depends on if you have a longbow or a compound bow.”

Clint snorted and shook his head. “Evil witch. That's classified information.”

“You know you adore me,” Darcy said loftily. “So, you can either take me and show me your bow or I can start digging up more Robin Hood references with maybe one or two Lord of the Rings thrown in for good measure.”

Clint hooked an arm around her neck and pulled her close. Ignoring her yelps and pleas, he tweaked her nose and half led, half dragged her with him down into the lab. If she wanted to see a bow, he figured he could show her a bow. It didn't hurt and he had to admit that she had lightened the darkening mood that had chased him up on the roof in the first place. For that alone he could give in to her demands.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This coming week will be extremely busy for me so I may not post until next Sunday.


	11. Dysfunctional Family Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take four Avengers, one amazing girlfriend, one astrophysicists, and one quirky intern and you have the makings for one very interesting dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with a new chapter. I meant to post yesterday, but I was exhausted after some serious cleaning and rearranging of the house and shed outside. I didn't even have the energy to even think about posting, much less actually doing it. So enjoy!

_Present Time_

 

Darcy stood in the middle of the lab with her hands on her hips, glaring at two scientists, who by all appearances were ignoring her. They were huddled over a pair of computers, jabbering in sciencese and pointing excitedly. Darcy had been attempting to get their attention for the last five minutes and without receiving so much as a finger wave in her direction, and well, the brunette was starting to get a little ticked off.

Deciding it would be just mean to cut the power to the computers, she opted for slamming her hands down on the nearest table as hard as she could. The resulting noise rang out in the room, drawing Jane and Eric's attention. When they glanced over at Darcy she was hopping from one foot to the other and shaking her hands in front of her wildly. Jane gave her a mild look. “What is your problem, Darcy?”

Darcy stopped her 'oh my god that really fucking hurt' dance to glare at her friend. She let out a frustrated growl and said, “I've been standing here for five damn minutes calling your names and you didn't so much as twitch. What the hell has your attention?”

Jane flushed. “Sorry. We were correlating some new data and made a breakthrough. I think now we understand how an Einstein-Rosen bridge opens. Or at least what optimal conditions on our end have to be reached in order to attempt an opening.”

“Huh,” Darcy said as her brain tried to process the words that spilled out of Jane's mouth. Seriously the woman just opened her mouth and the words came pouring out so fast that it took a minute or two for Darcy's brain to catch up with what Jane was saying. “Shut the fucking door.”

“Darcy,” Jane scolded mildly without any heat.

“Sorry, sorry, but are you seriously saying that you can get the bridge open again?” Darcy asked, her eyes wide.

Jane's lips curved in a smile that was pure delight. “I am. I really think I can do it now.”

Darcy waited a minute, not sure if Jane and Eric were playing a joke on her. She glanced from Jane to Eric before settling back on Jane. Both scientists were far too excited to be pulling her leg. She felt her own lips curve into a grin and she threw herself at Jane, wrapping the other woman up in a tight hug. Jane clung to her and the two of them started a bouncing dance across the lab.

Eric laughed and moved out of their way, the shadow that had been clinging to him since that fateful day fading in the background in light of Jane's discovery. He had never been more proud of Jane than he was today. Working under pressure, just a week since the attack on New York, she had made discoveries in leaps and bounds that had astounded even him. It would probably take months to put what they discovered today to practical use, but it was the first step and that was always the most important one.

“Jane, congratulations,” Eric said, breaking through Darcy and Jane's excited chatter.

Jane stopped and looked at him with a fierce smile. “First step, Eric. It's just the first step. We have a lot of work ahead of us.”

Eric shook his head and said, “No, you have a lot of work ahead of you. Now that you've gotten this, it's a simple matter of taking the science from theory to practice. You don't need me for that.”

Jane's smile wilted a little. “Eric, of course I need you.”

“You want me here. But Jane, this is all you. Your discovery, your work.” Eric sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't surprised to see his hand trembling. It was getting harder to come in and work every day. The stress from working hard on restoring the bridge combined with the aftereffects of Loki's control left him dazed and shaky, even on the best days. It was hard to admit, but he wasn't young anymore. He gave Jane a pointed look. “I need some time away.”

Jane, about to protest, paused, giving Eric a long hard look. She had been so focused the last week that even after discovering what happened to Eric she had ignored the effect it was having on him. She saw it now in the depths of his eyes, the pain and guilt that lingered there. He was more haggard looking, as if he wasn't getting enough sleep or food. It shamed her that she didn't realize it earlier.

Ignoring Darcy's quizzical look, she nodded. “I agree. You should take a vacation, you deserve it. When you are ready, you know you can come back. You can come fix the mistakes I make.”

Eric smiled and nodded. “You two enjoy your celebration, go out, do something. I'll see you before I leave.”

He turned before Darcy could even form the words to ask what the hell was going on. When the lab door shut behind him, Darcy turned to Jane. “What the hell was that?”

Jane turned and shrugged. Darcy still didn't know and it wasn't her place to tell the younger woman. “Eric is just tired. He was involved with the Loki disaster and then he moved from that to helping me. He needs some time to himself, to regroup.”

Darcy nodded, still a little suspicious. She had a feeling there was a lot more going on between Jane and Eric and she wasn't sure how she felt not being involved. They were a team. Okay so they weren't really a team. She and Jane were a team and Eric was a great asset. She winced at that description in her head because Eric wasn't just an asset. He really was more than that, but when he left New Mexico to work on another S.H.I.E.L.D project he had completely disappeared. Until they got to New York she had no idea that Eric was involved. Then she found out about Phil and well everything else just took a backseat.

Seeing how uncomfortable Jane was at this line of questioning, Darcy changed the subject. “So this is just fantastic timing.”

“Why do you say that?” Jane asked absently, her mind already jumping ahead to what she had to do next.

Darcy, seeing that almost vacant look come into Jane's eyes, moved quickly to stand in front of the petite scientist. “Oh no, don't even think about it. This is good news. The best we've had since we got to New York and we are going to celebrate.”

“Darcy,” Jane protested. “There is so much to do now. I need to get started on it right away.”

“No,” Darcy corrected, “you need to take the evening to relax. And lucky for you, I already have something planned.”

“Huh? How?” Jane asked, confused as to how Darcy could have a celebration planned when she didn't even know there was something to celebrate over.

Darcy gave her a sly grin. “I met Captain Steve Rogers today.”

“What? Who?” Jane stuttered, even more confused by the apparent change of subject.

“Captain Rogers, also known as Captain America?” Darcy prodded with an arch of her brow.

Jane gave Darcy her best fish out of water impression. It was so comical that Darcy couldn't stifle the giggle that trickled up her throat. She ended up leaning against one of the counters for support as she gasped for breath between giggles. The longer Darcy laughed the more put out Jane looked.

“I am so sorry, Jane. I'm not really laughing at you. It's just, well, you kinda look how I felt when I realized who it was with Mr. Stark this afternoon. Just promise me when you meet him you won't whistle at him.” Darcy explained after she caught her breath.

“Do I even want to know?” Jane asked.

“Probably not. I think Mr. Stark and I completely scandalized him in any case so maybe it doesn't matter,” Darcy said thoughtfully. “The real reason I came down here was to fetch you. Mr. Stark wants to have weekly dinners, with everyone living here. Tonight is the first dinner and I promised him I would drag you kicking and screaming.”

“Oh Darcy, I don't want to go to some dinner with people I don't know.”

“I think that is the point of the dinner, to get to know each other. Besides, didn't you tell me that Mr. Stark would eventually be working with you on the bridge?”

“Yeah but that's work, it's professional. This is all personal and Darce, he's freaking Iron Man.”

“And Thor is a god but you don't have a problem with that. Come on, Jane, it will be fun and we really do have something to celebrate.” Seeing Jane waver, Darcy mentally apologized and issued the final blow that would get Jane at the dinner table. “And I need this. I need something happy.”

Jane's expression softened and she gazed a little wistfully at the work waiting for her. Then she told herself to buck up and that an evening of socializing wouldn't kill her. Linking her arm with Darcy's, she said with a smile, “Come on, let's go get dressed for dinner then.”

“Fantastic! Thank you Jane,” Darcy almost squealed in her excitement. She was excited because hey dinner with the Avengers. She wasn't even going to let the knowledge that Clint would be there get her down. She was so done with his crap for now. She wasn't going to let his bad attitude ruin what little happiness she was slowly regaining.

 

OoOoO

 

Clint walked into the dining room discussing Natasha's latest mission with her quietly. She had come to drag him to dinner only to find that he was ready and waiting on her. At her arch look, he shrugged as the only explanation. They were the last ones to arrive, everyone else was already seated around the table.

Tony, naturally, was seated at the head of the table. Flanking him was Darcy and Pepper Potts. Clint hadn't even been aware that Pepper had returned from whatever business trip she had been on. Jane and Captain Rogers were sitting two seats down from Pepper and Darcy. Dr. Selvig was strangely absent. There were only two empty place settings sandwiched between Rogers and Pepper, and Jane and Darcy.

Looking between the two and the set expression on Darcy's face, Clint moved to sit next to Rogers. But Natasha, proving that she can be a bitch even to Clint at times, neatly stepped in front of him and slid into the seat between Rogers and Pepper. He gave her a dirty look and stared at the empty seat next to Darcy, who was giving Natasha her own dirty look.

Tony looked at Clint with a wry smile. “I know you'd rather be in a nest somewhere, Bird Boy, but sit down so we can eat.”

Clint sneered at Tony and sat down. He couldn't help but notice that Darcy leaned away from him and closer to Tony. A quick look around the table showed that he wasn't the only one who noticed. Natasha was looking at him with smugness and arched her brow as if to say, “See”. Tony had definitely noticed and was eyeing him with such a questioning look that Clint just wanted to bang his head against the table and end the misery.

Darcy shifted in her seat and reached for the wine glass in front of her. Why Tony maneuvered things so that she was sitting next to Clint she didn't know but she so was taking back all the nice things she had thought about the man. Taking a quick sip of the smooth wine, (at least Tony had good taste), she cleared her throat to get everyone's attention.

“So Jane has some news to share,” Darcy said when everyone was looking at her. “Jane?”

Attention shifted to Jane, who blushed. “Ah, dammit Darcy.”

Darcy flashed her a quick grin. “You give talks all the time. Surely this isn't as hard.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Trust me, there's a difference.”

“So, what's the news?” Tony asked. “Don't make me ask JARVIS.”

“Would he know?” Darcy asked, curious about the AI.

“Sure,” Tony answered with a shrug. Then he wiggled his eyebrows at Darcy suggestively. “He sees all and hears all. So you know what that means.”

Darcy bit her lip as Pepper smacked Tony on the arm. “Tony stop that.”

“That's okay, Miss Potts,” Darcy said with a wink. “I'll just make sure that if he plays Peeping Tom he'll get the most bang for his buck.”

“Call me Pepper,” Pepper said and she and Darcy exchanged smiles.

“I wouldn't actually be spending any money,” Tony pointed out.

Darcy laughed and Clint ground his teeth together. He deliberately looked away from the two and gave Jane a tight smile. “Dr. Foster, your news?”

Jane pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. It was so obvious, at least to her, that Tony was up to something. Maybe the others had missed it, but thanks to Darcy telling her about about her encounter with Tony earlier and Clint showing up, Jane had been paying special attention to the two men. Tony had directed them all where to sit, leaving the empty seat next to Darcy. And unless she was mistaken, Tony was deliberately provoking Clint even now.

“I believe that I have found the key to reopening the bridge to Asgard,” Jane said slowly. Chatter died down and now all eyes were on her. Shifting in her seat from the attention, she added, “I haven't actually discovered how to open the bridge but what I found today is definitely the key to opening the bridge.”

“That is wonderful, Dr. Foster,” Pepper said warmly.

“I knew you could do it,” Tony exclaimed. “Didn't I tell you that you could do it? After all, working with the best equipment in the world, how could you fail?”

Pepper gave Tony a long suffering and indulgent look. “Of course, it was the equipment that made the difference. Not Jane's brain or hard work.”

Tony rolled his eyes at Pepper's not so subtle point and waved his hand carelessly. “Yes, yes, Dr. Foster's skill is unparalleled. But not the point. The point is she succeeded.”

“How long do you suppose it will take you to get the bridge opened again, Dr. Foster?” Steve asked before Tony could go on again.

Jane looked a little surprised at being addressed by Steve and fumbled her fork, letting it crash against her plate. She winced at the noise and ignored Darcy's snickers. If she had been sitting next to her assistant she would elbow the younger girl. She took a quick drink of water and then answered Steve's question. “I honestly can't say, Captain Rogers. There are so many details and it is often hard to put theory into practice.”

“Oh please,” Tony drawled before Steve could respond. “With my equipment and help, we'll have the bridge open in no time.”

Jane's eyes widened at Tony's announcement. She had only been here a week but already experienced what happened when Tony tinkered. The explosion from his lab the day before had set off all kinds of alarms and it was hours before the excitement died down. No way she wanted him working anywhere near her, he didn't have the best sense when it came to safety.

“Uh,” Jane stuttered, unsure of how to tell the man no when it was his lab she was using. “I'm sure that will be useful, eventually.”

“Eventually?” Tony asked, raising one brow.

Jane flushed and Darcy rolled her eyes and said, “Dude, she'd be insane to want to work with you and Jane is many things but insane isn't one of them.”

“Darcy!” Jane hissed under her breath. “Agent Barton, stop her.”

“She seems to be doing just fine on her own,” Clint said with a shrug and winced when Jane drilled a finger in his side. Jane might be a little intimidated by everyone else at the table but after several weeks with Agent Barton last summer, she had no problems with him.

Tony propped his arm up on the table and rested his chin on his palm while giving Darcy a lazy look. “And why would she be insane to work with me? I'm a genius.”

Darcy pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. “Being a genius has nothing to do with it. You are crazy. You blew up your lab, well a portion of it, yesterday. I don't want you blowing up Jane.”

Tony sat upright and clasped a hand to his heart. “I would never.”

Darcy and Pepper gave him, 'Who do you think you are kidding?' looks. He looked at Darcy and then looked at Pepper and laughed at the identical looks they shared. When they crossed their arms and glared, he laughed harder.

Steve rolled his eyes and looked at Natasha. “So how was your mission yesterday?”

“Satisfactory,” Natasha replied evenly. “It was really just information gathering. Director Fury was pleased with what I found.”

Jane, startled by the ease with which Darcy talked to Tony, looked at Clint and stifled her own laugh. Clint was clenching a fork in his hand and stabbing at the piece of chicken on his plate while shooting Tony death glares every three seconds. As she watched him, Jane had a startling discovery and it made her smile longingly for Thor. She just wondered how long it would take Clint to realize what she just did. It would be interesting to watch. And judging by the quick glance she just saw Tony give Clint, she wasn't the only one who knew. She upped her estimation of months to weeks after that.

Feeling a bit mischievous herself, Jane decided to stir the pot a little bit. “So, Captain Rogers, I understand that you aren't quite used to the everyday world.”

“No, I'm afraid I'm not, Dr. Foster. Things have changed in 70 years and some days I wonder how I know up from down,” Steve said, smiling warmly at her.

Jane nodded. “Completely understandable. Thor was the same way when I met him. Of course you have the advantage over him by actually being born on Earth. Fashion and lifestyles may have changed, but the basic customs have remained the same.”

“Have they?” Steve asked a little wistfully. “I haven't been out much to see that.”

Jane gestured with a hand. “Well there you go. You just need to get out more.”

Natasha looked at Jane, who, under the intensity of Natasha's stare, tried to look innocent. Natasha wasn't buying it until she noticed how much attention Clint was trying not to show in Jane's sudden interest in bringing Steve up to speed. Curious as to where Jane was leading with this, Natasha leaned back in her seat and watched with a little smirk.

“I don't think that's a good idea,” Tony interjected, waving off Darcy and Pepper, who were trying to convince him that working Jane's lab would be a bad idea since Jane actually needed the lab to be in one piece in order to do her work, off.

“Why do you say that, Stark?” Steve asked, giving Tony disapproving look.

“Well everything is just so much bigger. You might get intimidated by all the bright lights and people,” Tony explained.

“Tony, what have we talked about?” Pepper sighed.

“Uh always use a condom?”

“Tony!” Steve exclaimed, his cheeks tinting pink.

“That's actually very good advice,” Darcy commented thoughtfully. “Not always effective against pregnancy but a real deterrent to those pesky social diseases.”

“Miss Lewis!” Now Steve sounded scandalized.

“There, you see,” Tony pointed out loudly. “If talking about sex and condoms with us gets to him like that, imagine the first time he's on the streets and a hooker propositions him. He'll explode.”

“That's bullshit,” Darcy said without hesitation. “You don't give him enough credit.”

“Thank you Miss Lewis,” Steve replied with a smile even though his cheeks were burning now.

“That's it.” Jane snapped her fingers as if the idea had just come from her. “It's obvious that Captain Rogers needs to reacquaint himself with the world as a whole as well as catch up with everything he's missed. Until I start doing experiments I won't need Darcy that much.”

“I'm afraid I don't follow,” Steve said with a little wrinkle in his brow from confusion.

Darcy stared at Jane from around Clint, trying to figure out just what her boss was doing. “I don't follow either.”

Jane rolled her eyes and explained slowly, as if Darcy was a first grader. “Isn't it obvious? You can be Captain Rogers' guide to the 21st century. Take him out, show him things. Teach him all about the stuff he missed.” She bit her lip and added as an afterthought, “Including safe sex.”

Steve, Tony, Darcy, Pepper, and Natasha gaped at her and Jane's face flushed a brilliant red. “Well, I think we can all safely say that Darcy is probably the best one to teach safe sex.”

“I'd be insulted if that wasn't true,” Darcy drawled. Looking at Steve, who was doing his best to avoid looking at anyone, she smiled and winked. “What do you say big boy, want to learn about safe sex?”

Clint, who had just taken a bite of his chicken after he finished mauling it, choked at the suggestion. He gulped down the water Natasha shoved at him from across the table and then said to Darcy, his voice a little strained. “You can't do that.” 

“Why not?” Darcy asked with a little edge to her voice.

“It isn't...” Clint trailed off when Darcy held up a hand.

“I swear, if you say not proper I'm going to slap you. When have I ever been proper?” She asked with a raised brow. When Clint didn't seem to have anything to say and just glared at her, she continued. “Besides, it wasn't an offer for sex you know.” She gave Steve a quick glance with appraising eyes that had the super solider twisting in his seat. Turning back to Clint, she said sweetly and with just a hint of a challenge in her voice, “Though, I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers.”

“Amen,” muttered Natasha.

“Seconded,” Jane said without hesitation.

“I think I might if he ate pickles or garlic, but definitely not crackers,” added Pepper with a wink.

Tony choked on his water and Steve looked like he wanted to disappear. Clint shot Natasha a dirty look, to which she responded to with a deceptively sweet smile.

“See,” Darcy said pointedly at Clint. “Going to tell them that they aren't going to be proper?”

“What and get my ass handed to me by Tasha?” Clint muttered. “Still you shouldn't go around saying things like that.”

“You know,” Darcy started with a glint of steel and amusement in her eyes, “for a man of your, ah let's say experience, yeah experience you are such a goddamn prude, Agent Barton.”

Natasha snorted at this, causing Darcy to give her a wary look. Phil had told her that Barton's partner was a scary ass woman and after just briefly meeting her earlier, Darcy had to agree. If anyone at the table really intimidated Darcy, it was Natasha. No way was someone that pretty and not scary as fuck.

Natasha met Darcy's gaze and said blandly, “You should have seen him in Budapest.”

“What happened?” Darcy asked after giving Clint a quick look.

“If I told you, I would have to kill you,” Natasha answered with a straight face.

Darcy paled and Clint sighed and gave Natasha the 'look'. “Tasha, play nice.”

“Where's the fun in that?” Natasha asked.

Darcy felt her breath whoosh out. “That was a joke?”

“Kinda hard to tell with her, isn't it?” Tony joked. “Say, Natasha...”

“No.” Natasha cut him off before he could finish.

“You don't even know what I was going to say,” Tony protested.

“No,” she repeated.

Tony pouted and looked at Pepper. “I can't believe I said I wanted one.”

“I believe you were dying at the time. It made you stupid,” Pepper reminded.

“He has to be dying to be stupid?” Steve wondered out loud.

Darcy giggled before she could stop herself. When Tony mock glared at her, she said in her defense, “You blew up your lab trying to fix a coffee maker.”

“If I had succeeded in making it brew faster, you would all be praising me,” Tony informed her loftily.

“Yeah, but you blew up a coffee maker,” Darcy intoned. “A coffee maker. You have a highly advanced suit of armor that flies and blows up shit and you got stumped trying to improve a coffee maker.”

“You know, you don't have to keep repeating it,” Tony said sulkily.

“I'm sorry, but a coffee maker!”

“She's like a dog with a bone,” Tony muttered.

“Tell me about it,” Clint agreed. When all eyes shifted to him, Clint thought about ignoring it and in the end he just shrugged. “She did the same to me in New Mexico.”

Seizing the opening, Tony grinned at Clint. “So you were close in New Mexico.”

It was said as a statement, not a question. Darcy gave Clint a side long glance, wondering just how much he would reveal. She didn't give a damn who knew but Clint was so touchy these days that she was just going to keep her mouth shut. Clint jerked a finger at Darcy, “She was the only one who spoke English.”

Jane elbowed him and said primly, “I spoke English!”

“Sorry Jane but mostly you babbled in these really long words that I couldn't even spell to look up to find out what they meant,” Darcy said with an apologetic smile. “You were very into the science.”

“For a good cause, but hanging around you and Dr. Selvig for more than ten minutes made me want to shoot something.” Clint told Jane with a shrug.

“And he's not joking. I think,” Darcy added. She turned her head to look at Clint. “Did you actually go and shoot stuff?”

“Sometimes,” Clint admitted.

“Fascinating,” Tony murmured.

Pepper gave him an appraising look and shook her head minutely to warn him off. Tony had spent the better part of an hour after she got back telling her about the way Clint reacted to Tony flirting with Darcy. Since she had been gone for the better part of the week dealing with Stark Industries she had missed how Clint reacted to Darcy. But if how he had acted upon his arrival to dinner was any indication, she had to agree with Tony. Something was up there. And since Clint and Darcy seemed to be interacting with very little awkwardness, she didn't want Tony screwing that up.

“Shooting things is a great stress reliever.” That comment came from Steve. It made everyone look at him because if someone was to make a comment like that, they all figured it would be Natasha, not Steve. He shrugged and gave them a sheepish look. “I don't always beat up punching bags.”

“So exactly how much time did you two spend together when Dr. Foster and Dr. Selvig were speaking in tongues?” Tony asked Clint after he finished gaping at Steve.

Eyes narrowed, Clint answered, “Enough.”

“They'd sit up on the roof almost every night with rocky road ice cream or candy and gossip,” Jane said helpfully.

“Rocky Road,” Steve said with a little nostalgic sigh. “I liked that flavor.”

“They had Rocky Road back then?” Tony asked, momentarily distracted from his prying.

Steve's look was one of tolerance. “Yes, Stark. In fact, it was invented just a few months before the war started.”

“Well that's one good thing about having you around,” Tony chuckled. “Abstract pieces of trivia from way back when.”

“So happy to be of service,” Steve drawled with just a hint of sarcasm.

Darcy opened her mouth to say something, probably inappropriate, but Clint stepped on her toes, earning him a dirty look. Of course this little interaction was not missed by Tony and only served to draw his attention back to the two.

Tony grinned at Clint. “I never took you for a gossip.”

“We did not gossip,” Clint growled under his breath.

Tony looked at Darcy for confirmation. She shrugged. “We kinda did. Remember the one agent that lasted three whole days?” At Tony, Pepper, and Steve's questioning look, she explained, “He took beer gut to a whole new level and had a uni brow.”

“How did he even get in S.H.I.E.L.D?” Tony questioned. “Like 90 percent of S.H.I.E.L.D agents are poster kids for fitness magazines. They scare me.”

Darcy shrugged. “Got me, but this guy was just terrifying. Clint and I spent one hour alone just mocking him.”

“Darcy!” Clint said exasperated. “You can't tell people that.”

“Why not? It's just you guys. I doubt Natasha is going to go and tattle to Fury.” Then she snickered. “Besides, Phil started it.”

Clint opened his mouth and then closed it as he remembered that day. Then he started to chuckle too. “That is so true.”

“Wait...Phil?” Tony asked. “Seriously, am I the only one who knows that his real name was Agent?”

Pepper just rolled her eyes upward as if saying a silent prayer. Tony ignored her and looked at Darcy. “He let you call him Phil too?”

Darcy had started to really relax, but now that Tony was questioning her about Phil, she was starting to regret even bringing him up. Her stomach twisted, a sinking feeling deep in her gut, and she tried to keep her face impassive though she didn't know how well she succeeded. Swallowing hard and pushing back the inevitable rise of emotions that came with mention of her uncle, she smiled at Tony. “He did. I was usually the one he talked to when he visited Jane's lab.”

“I was busy,” Jane protested. “I couldn't afford to stop every five minutes to talk to whichever agent showed up that day.”

Darcy leaned back to reach around Clint and patted Jane's shoulder. “I know and I didn't mind.”

She met and held Jane's gaze for a moment before looking away. Jane suddenly understood why Darcy never complained about all the times she had to talk to Agent Coulson when Jane couldn't be bothered. The guilt that had sprung up melted away.

A warm hand squeezed Darcy's knee and she just barely managed to not jump in surprise. Taking a quick chance, she glanced at Clint and saw him staring at her. His face was mostly unreadable but she could see just the barest glimpse of sympathy in his eyes before it disappeared. She flashed him a quick smile before giving her attention back to Tony.

Tony had seen something but he wasn't sure how to qualify it. He'd have to go over it later, when dinner was over. Judging by the look that Pepper was giving him, she knew exactly what he was thinking and didn't approve. Which was okay since he was pretty sure he could nag her until she gave him her opinion on the whole situation.

Smiling at Pepper, he glanced around the table. Natasha was discussing something with Steve and it looked to be quite animated, or at least as animated as she got. Steve was relaxed and smiling, often gesturing with his hand to make a point. Clint, Darcy, and Jane were leaning towards each other, chatting amicably about people they had known in New Mexico. A hand slid into his and Tony looked up to see Pepper's smiling face. He squeezed her hand and smiled back. He was glad that he instituted group dinner. He hadn't been sure how it would have worked out but he realized that it wouldn't have mattered if it had all gone to hell in a hand basket. Right now it just felt right.

 


	12. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble appears in the lab and Darcy just can't keep her mouth shut.

_The Previous Summer_

 

“You stupid bitch,” Darcy snarled as she shoved the agent in question back, causing the woman to take two stumbling steps away from Jane. Darcy had come into the lab to find the woman, in her perfectly pressed black suit, right up in Jane's space, spewing venomous words about Jane's work. It had instantly set her temper ablaze and she hadn't hesitated to get in the middle of it.

“Watch it, girl,” the agent snarled, hands jerking as she straightened the wrinkles from the boring black blazer she wore. “Remember who you are addressing.”

Darcy's eyes blazed with anger as she took a threatening step forward. “Oh I remember who I'm talking to. I am talking to a woman who thinks she's better than everyone else when in reality the only thing she's good at is being narrow minded bitch.”

“I will not be spoken to that way, not by some jumped up college intern who passes the time by trying to get into the pants of every agent that comes through the lab,” sneered the agent.

At this point Darcy couldn't even remember her own name. Red completely filled her vision and she fought the urge to slip her hand inside her messenger bag for her taser. A good jolt from Mr. Shocky would show the woman what it meant to mess with Darcy Anne Lewis.

She logically knew it was a waste of time to scream at the woman, but enough was enough. This bitch had been on the New Mexico detail for exactly four days and in Darcy's opinion that was four days too many. She replaced another agent, who if the rumors were true, was being removed from field duty because they couldn't be bothered to adhere to the regulated fitness program. The replacement, who Darcy would only now call The Bitch, had been here less than five hours before the snarking had begun.

Darcy had been willing to ignore it after Clint told her that the woman had finished top in her training group. She had turned on the deaf ears whenever the woman made a snide comment about herself or Jane. Which were plenty after The Bitch learned of how much time Clint spent with them. It hadn't been too hard to tune her out when The Bitch complained about the New Mexico heat. Hell Darcy bitched about the climate here all the damn time.

But what Darcy wasn't willing to ignore or overlook was the way she talked about Jane when Jane wasn't around. It was one thing, to Darcy's way of thinking, to be jealous of the twenty two year old intern whose only job seemed to be passing out coffee and providing pop tarts, but it was entirely another to demean the woman, who had more PHD's than the Bitch could even dream of, she’d been sent to protect. Plus, Darcy had caught her giving Clint 'the eye' more than once and figured The Bitch's desire to get in Clint's pants factored into half the snide comments made.

But when The Bitch flat out told Jane that she should just stop wasting S.H.I.E.L.D's time and admit that the bridge didn't exist and Thor was just some junkie jacked up on steroids and drugs, Darcy drew the line. Jane was accustomed to the mocking she received for her line of study from her fellow scientists, Darcy however wasn't. Yet Jane had been rendered completely speechless as the woman spewed her venom. Darcy hadn't heard it all but what she walked in on was enough to set off her temper, which spoke a lot towards the nature of the verbal abuse Jane was undergoing since Darcy was one more prone to use sly sarcasm and wit rather than raising her voice.

Darcy figured the only reason The Bitch was spewing her poison so vehemently was the fact that at the moment she was the only agent at the lab. Two more agents were on the premises but not in the lab. One was up on the roof and the other was doing a perimeter check. Clint and Phil were off doing something, so no one was here to muzzle The Bitch. Even Eric had left, going out to the diner for a break from research. Darcy had only just gotten back five minutes ago from a Slurpee run to the 7-11.

“Excuse me?” Darcy hissed, ignoring Jane tugging on her arm. “Are you trying to call me a whore? If you are, then grow a fucking pair of balls and say it to my face instead of alluding to it like you're too delicate or politically correct to say the words.”

The Bitch shrugged and spat, “Fine. You're a whore. You shouldn't even be here. You aren't qualified for this kind of research, even if it is bullshit. You're just eye candy for the men and frankly, not even good eye candy.”

“I got news for you, sister, I'm the best fucking eye candy around.” Darcy made a lazy gesture at her chest and said smugly as she looked at The Bitch's chest, which was rather lacking. “At least I got something for men to grab.”

“At least I can get a man,” hissed The Bitch.

Darcy gave a harsh laugh. “Sweetheart, it doesn't count if you have to pay them.” 

“Why you little tramp,” The Bitch snarled, her hand drifting down to her gun holstered at her side.

Jane gave a little yelp and tried tugging Darcy back. But Darcy saw something out the corner of her eye and refused to move. Instead, she kept her eyes on the bitchy agent as she nudged Jane behind her. It was a crazy plan, what she was thinking, and on the off chance it backfired she didn't want Jane in the line of fire. Once Jane was safely behind her and off to the side, Darcy arched a brow at the agent and gestured at the gun. “You're actually tempted to draw on me? Can't keep up with me so you're going to shoot me? Even if it wasn't the stupidest move in the world, don't you think it's a little unprofessional?”

“Like anyone would care if I shot you,” said The Bitch, brushing off Darcy's apparent concern with a wave of her hand.

“I beg to differ, Agent Kilmer. I think I would care very much if you shot someone who was currently under S.H.I.E.L.D protection,” drawled Phil as he and Clint stood framed in the entrance to the old gas station that served as the lab. Clint was standing relaxed next to Phil, but out of the corner of her eye, Darcy saw his hand resting just a few inches above his own sidearm. Phil had his arms crossed over his chest, his face set in stone as he stared at Agent Kilmer, who had whirled around at the sound of Phil's voice. Her hand had fallen away from her gun.

“Agent Coulson, Agent Barton, I was just...discussing a few things with Miss Lewis and Dr. Foster,” The Bitch sputtered as her eyes darted back and forth between the two very perturbed men.

Darcy swallowed a laugh and smiled sweetly at her uncle and Clint. Both were looking at her with concern, only Clint had a little 'what the hell are you doing' mixed in with his. She had to bite her tongue to keep from winking at him. Not that it really mattered to her, but it would give The Bitch more fuel for her fire.

She shifted her gaze back to the woman in question, noting the hatred simmering in her eyes. Wondering just how the hell she managed to piss off someone she barely knew, Darcy decided she was done playing the quiet intern who let insults roll off her back. The Bitch wanted to play, Darcy would play. Her smile was sweet but deceptive; only Phil, and possibly Clint, saw the steel under the sugar.

Her voice was light and careless as she said, “That's right. We were just discussing how Agent Kilmer feels that the time spent by S.H.I.E.L.D here is a complete waste of time and how it is her belief that Jane is nothing more than a liar.”

When The Bitch started to sputter and deny, Darcy smirked and added, “Oh and apparently I'm a whore trying to get in the pants of any agent who has a dick.”

“You haven't tried very hard with me,” Clint observed with a hint of smile. He had no idea that Darcy was capable of being so ruthless and he was starting to see more of Phil in the young woman now. It amused and impressed him.

This time Darcy didn't try to stop her snicker. “Agent Coulson told me not to.”

Agent Kilmer ground her teeth together and gestured between the two of them as she addressed her complaint to Coulson, eager to get the heat off her. “This is what I mean. Their behavior is completely unprofessional and inappropriate.”

Darcy grabbed Jane's hand and slipped past The Bitch to stand just a few feet away from Clint and Coulson. At the agent's words, Darcy rolled her eyes and said in a stage whisper, “Why does that word keep cropping up?”

“Because it suits you so well, Darcy,” Clint whispered back.

She grinned at him while Jane muffled her laughter by burying her head against Darcy's shoulder. The scientist had joined Clint and Darcy one evening on the roof and after she got over her surprise at the easy way the two teased and flirted, she found herself being drawn into the conversation. Now she was joining them every couple days just to relax. Even she found Darcy to be slightly inappropriate at times, but she never crossed any serious lines with anyone...yet.

Phil looked at the three of them and gave them a shut the fuck up look before looking at Agent Kilmer. “While the behavior does toe the line of professionalism, it is not unheard of for the agents in this kind of situation to be on more relaxed terms with their charges. This is a small community and things are very close knit. Agent Barton is well aware of the lines and knows not to cross them.”

“An agent, particularly one who is often left in charge, should not be on such easy terms with the civilians he or she is guarding, no matter what the circumstances are,” Agent Kilmer said, sounding like she was quoting a rule book. She looked to have no idea that she just told the man who was in charge of everything he was wrong.

“Well I give her a ten for memorization because that clearly came from a handbook but she gets a zero on tact and diplomacy,” Jane whispered to Darcy.

Darcy snorted and nodded. “Amen sister.”

Phil ignored them and held out his hand. He had no idea that he had such a loose cannon in his command and it bothered him...a lot. More, it pissed him off that his niece was the target here. “Agent Kilmer, while you may be the best in your class, it is apparent that you lack the right kind of mindset for this kind of field duty. Please hand over your access pass and side arm. You will be escorted to the air field and returned to S.H.I.E.L.D Headquarters for reassignment.”

“You have got to be kidding me. You are kicking me out because of one snot nosed college brat?” Agent Kilmer stared at Phil with a look of disbelief. “I was top of my class. My marks were incomparable.”

“I beg to differ,” Clint said, speaking to the agent for the first time. Darcy noticed then that even though Agent Kilmer had dropped her hand away from her gun upon Phil and Clint's appearance that Clint had yet to move his hand away from his. Point to him, no point for Kilmer. Clint continued smoothly, “You might be the best in your class, as Agent Coulson has already stated, but your marks aren't incomparable. I know of at least two agents who have you beat. You are, to be honest, completely replaceable. In fact, given your attitude, I fail to see how you passed any of the mandatory psych evals.”

Agent Kilmer glared at Clint and sneered, “Sure take your bed warmer’s side.”

“Bed warmer? Who says that anymore? If you are going to accuse us of something, say it like you were born in this century cause honey, with the language you were flinging around before, it's completely useless to act like you're demure or innocent.” Darcy ignored Phil's 'shut the hell up' look and crossed her arms as she glared at Agent Kilmer.

“I was trying to be discreet, though I'm sure you know nothing about that.”

“Nope, I'm rather proud of being a screamer,” Darcy said without missing a beat, her lips curved in what could only be described as a seductive smirk.

Clint choked and had to look away. Jane slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Phil just raised his eyes heavenward for a moment before looking at Agent Kilmer. The Bitch was glaring at Darcy and if looks could kill then Darcy would probably be a corpse by now. He really should have sent Darcy and Jane away. Things had just escalated, thanks to Darcy's big mouth and inability to bite her tongue.

Agent Kilmer actually took one step towards Darcy, the intent to harm clear in her eyes. Without hesitating, Clint stepped smoothly in front of the brunette, staring down Agent Kilmer with a look in his eyes that would stop anyone else in their steps. It was a look that said he wouldn't have a problem shooting her. Agent Kilmer either missed the memo or she was so pissed at Darcy that she ignored the silent promise of his look.

Instead, the agent drew her gun. Darcy swallowed her gasp and felt Jane's fingers dig into her shoulder in an attempt to pull her away. But Darcy couldn't move as Kilmer raised her gun and sidestepped Clint. Who reacted with a speed that took Darcy's breath away and left her wondering what the hell just happened. Between one moment and the next, Agent Kilmer went from walking to lying flat on her back, gasping for air. Clint was hovering over her, one hand wrapped around Kilmer's throat while the other held his gun against her temple. He wasn't even breathing hard as he growled, “You move and I'll shoot.” 

Jane clutched Darcy's arm so hard that there were sure to be marks later and breathed in her ear, “Okay, I don't give a damn who you are, that was hot.”

“You said it, not me,” breathed Darcy, her eyes not leaving Clint's form for a single second. Maybe she had a problem before wrapping her mind around the fact that Clint was an assassin, but watching him in action and seeing how easy it would be for him to shoot Kilmer, well she didn't have any issues now.

Phil watched passively as Clint flipped Kilmer on her stomach and secured her hands with zip ties. “And that was your last mistake, Agent Kilmer. You will not be reassigned. You will be debriefed and undergo a series of psych evals. Then depending on the outcome, you will be released from duty. Agent Barton, I see that Agent Martinez and Agent Gilmore have returned. Please update them on the situation and have them escort the former agent from these premises. I want her back at Headquarters with all possible haste.”

Clint shot Darcy a quick assessing look and she gave him a quick nod to let him know she was alright. He nodded his understanding to Phil and jerked the disgraced agent to her feet, ignoring her whimpers and half pulled, half shoved her out of the lab. The other two agents, who had just made their reappearance, gave Phil one nervous look and followed Clint out. Within seconds the lab was empty except for Darcy, Phil, and Jane.

Darcy almost took a step towards Phil but had to stop herself when she remembered that Jane was there and unaware of her connection to Phil. Instead she saluted her uncle and said while hoping her trembling hands went unnoticed, “Perfect timing.”

Phil's eyes flicked from her hands to her pale face and she caught the briefest hint of a frown before his face cleared and he nodded towards Jane. “You can thank Dr. Foster for that. She sent a text that things were getting ugly.”

Darcy shot Jane a surprised look. She hadn't even noticed Jane texting anyone. Hell she assumed Jane's phone was lost in the madness that was her desk. “Nice.”

Jane just smiled and shrugged as she finally released Darcy's arm. “I didn't trust that woman. I know what she's been saying about you and me and I figured today would be the day she blew since she was alone with me. Then you came back and well, she scared me.”

“Hell, she scared me,” Darcy muttered under her breath, not intending anyone to hear but from the way her uncle stiffened, he at least heard it.

He cleared his throat and said quietly, “Dr. Foster, Miss Lewis, I cannot express how much I regret that former Agent Kilmer was cleared to work here, given her behavior. I was derelict in my duty for not noticing just how unstable she was. I hope you both will accept my deepest apologies.”

Jane gave Phil a half smile and said, “Agent Coulson, with the exception of that one woman, you and your agents have been very good at making our association with S.H.I.E.L.D an easy one. I won't hold the actions of one person against the entire agency.”

Phil inclined his head at her and then looked at Darcy, arching one brow.

“Yeah,” Darcy said lazily, knowing if she tried to get wordy she'd lose her shit and that was the last thing they needed. “What she said. Besides, I should apologize. I may have provoked her.”

“No, really?” Phil asked with a dramatic widening of his eyes.

Darcy tried to glare at his sarcasm but found herself laughing instead. It actually felt good to relax and any tension that remained in the room drained away. The laughter was infectious and Jane didn't last long before she was laughing too. Clint found them like that ten minutes later when he came back. Jane and Darcy were propping each other up laughing while Phil just rubbed his eyes in apparent defeat. Clint tried to stop himself but he was smiling before he could stop it, their humor was infectious. “Did I miss something?”

“Only the loss of their sanity.”

“Oh...so not much?”

Darcy squealed and shook her fist at him. “As soon as I'm sure I won't piss myself I'm going to hit you for that.”

“You can try.”

“Just you wait. You'll never see it coming.”

“Yeah, sure,” Clint mocked.

“Children, if you are done, I'd like a debrief of exactly what brought about the events we just had to go through,” Phil said in his best stern voice.

“Sir, yes sir!” saluted Darcy with a giggle. Jane had been gasping for air but lost it again when Darcy saluted.

Clint gave Phil a look that clearly said, 'what can you do?'

Phil rubbed his head again and thought that maybe dealing with Stark would be easier compared to his niece and her boss. Maybe. Just a little.


	13. Making Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A late night on the roof of Avengers Tower brings Darcy and Clint together and talking.

_The Present_

 

Darcy leaned against the railing and stared out at all the pretty lights. It was a warm night and so late that she should have been in bed. Sleep had proven to be illusive and after hours of twisting and turning, she gave up and headed up to the roof. It had been three days since her confrontation with Clint and the dinner party.

For the most part Clint relaxed more around her. He still didn't talk to her like he used to but at least he wasn't running at the sight of her. She honestly didn't care at this point. Jane had been a big fat liar when she had said she wouldn't need Darcy. Turns out she did, especially since the day after the dinner gathering Eric had left on his vacation. While Darcy couldn't help Jane with the theoretical aspects of her research, her note taking skills were coming in handy. It seemed that all she did for hours on end was listen to Jane drone on about the mechanics of building a device to open a bridge and just how complicated it would be. And also write down everything she said so she could look through it later. It was enough to make her eyes bleed.

In addition to taking notes, she was also put in charge of keeping Tony Stark out of the lab. After the fifth time he stopped by on the first day of this new research angle, Jane had thrown her hands up in the air and stated that if she had to talk to his obnoxious ass one more time she'd stab him with her pen. Darcy was inclined to believe her after seeing the slightly mad light in Jane's eye and made it her business to intercept Tony before he could even reach the lab.

JARVIS had been extremely helpful in letting her know when Tony was on the way. It was like she was part of a conspiracy with the AI and she was highly entertained by it. The most amusing part of her days was the different ways JARVIS would alert her to Tony's impending arrival. It started out with simple text messages sent to her phone. Then, after a silly comment of Darcy's, JARVIS seemed to accept the unspoken challenge of finding the most unique ways to give Darcy warning.

Today's final alert had won the grand prize. Darcy had been fixing Jane a cup of coffee, her fifteenth for the day, when all of a sudden, T.R.O.U.B.L.E by Travis Tritt started blaring from the speakers in each corner of the lab. Darcy had been so startled that she dropped the cup of coffee. Then when she realized why the music was playing she had laughed herself sick before heading to intercept Tony.

Tony knew exactly what was going on and seemed determined to make Darcy lose her shit. She had never before met a grown man who was more skilled at whining than a five year old. It was getting to the point where Darcy would just step in front of him and point in a direction away from the lab. It was the safest thing she could do. Sure Tony might like her and he was very entertaining and accommodating, but if he kept acting like a child denied Christmas she was just going to shake him, Iron Man or not.

After chasing away Tony, Darcy glanced at the clock. They had been working since six AM, with a few brief breaks. It was time to stop working.After she finally pried Jane away from the lab she had actually spent a few hours with Captain Rogers, introducing him to the wonders of reality TV. He had been confused at first why people would allow themselves to be put in such predicaments but once Darcy explained the money involved, he caught on quick. And like Darcy he turned out to be a reality show heckler. So after a few episodes of Project Runway and massive amounts of popcorn throwing, Darcy had left Captain Rogers to watch a few more episodes by himself. Then she had gone to find Natasha, who had surprised her the day after the dinner gathering.

_“You need to learn self-defense,” came a quiet voice behind her._

_Darcy let out a yelp and turned, clutching a hand to her chest. Natasha Romanoff was standing behind her, arms crossed under her chest and an unreadable expression on her face. Darcy, who had been searching the cabinets for her favorite pop tarts, hadn't even heard the other woman come up behind her. It was freaky scary._

_“I'm sorry?” Darcy said, confused._

_“Self-defense,” Natasha repeated. “You should learn the basics at least.”_

_“Uh, I'm not sure that's a good idea.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Well I was once told that for all my skill in that area I'd be better at just chucking whatever was the heaviest near me at my assailant and running as fast as I could.”_

_“Agent Coulson was often wise at many things but he should have called me in if he wanted you to learn self-defense,” Natasha said dismissively._

_Surprised by the reference to her uncle, Darcy stiffened and looked around warily in case anyone else could have been close to overhear. Then what Natasha had said caught up with her and she just stared at the former Russian spy. “You know?”_

_Natasha raised one shoulder and let it fall. “Yes. Coulson told me shortly after he was pulled from New Mexico. He felt that it was best if I knew since my partner had discovered his little secret.”_

_“So you and Clint are partners? I think Phil told me that once. Or at least mentioned Clint had a partner, but not who it was. So it's you,” Darcy said, fully aware she was babbling. She blamed the shock of discovering that Phil had willingly told someone that he was her uncle. To go from having to keep it a secret on pain of death to three people in less than a year knowing...well it threw Darcy a little. Though, who knew how long Director Fury had known._

_Natasha's eyes danced with suppressed amusement at Darcy's babbling. “Yes, Clint and I have worked together for many years.”_

_“So you are close,” Darcy said warily. It had been fairly obvious that the two S.H.I.E.L.D agents were close. Tony had mentioned how questionable their closeness was several times, something that caused Darcy's stomach to turn sour each and every time. “He didn't really talk about his partner in New Mexico. Just that it was a woman and she kicked a lot of ass, including his.”_

_“Clint and I push each other but he still retains a small amount of chivalry that prevents him from issuing the final blow. He is, in a word, a wimp.”_

_Darcy laughed before she could stop herself. “A wimp? Clint? I just don't see it.”_

_“Come watch us spar sometime and you will see. He always holds back. I know and he knows that I know but it does not stop him. And since the chivalrous attitude is what saved my life when we first met, I forgive him.” Natasha held up a hand to forestall Darcy's next question and said firmly. “Self-defense. I will teach you and you will learn.”_

_“But I don't wanna!” Darcy whined before she could catch herself. Then she flushed and looked at Natasha as if she was afraid the other woman would slap her for behaving so childishly._

_“We often do not like what we must do. It is life. But, I think that this is something your uncle would want you to do, if only to raise your protection, just a little. Who knows, maybe knowing how to defend yourself will save you one day.”_

_“Yeah, maybe,” Darcy agreed thoughtfully. She glanced at the pop tart in her hand and shrugged. “Alright. I'll do it. When and where?”_

_“Tonight, in the gym at 8. Do not be late. I don't like it when my students are late.” Natasha left with that warning ringing in Darcy's ears. Darcy shivered and couldn't help but to wonder what happened to anyone who was late when working with The Black Widow._

So now she was working out every evening when Natasha was available. She'd go to the gym, meet Natasha, and then spend at least two hours letting herself be put in various holds and tossed to the floor. Natasha treated it all like a lesson but Darcy felt that the petite woman got a little thrill tossing Phil Coulson's niece around like a sack of flour. Then after the two hours were up, Natasha would just disappear. It was like she turned into smoke and escaped through the vents.

Tonight's lesson hadn't been too bad but Darcy's arms and legs still felt like limp noodles. She staggered away from the edge of the roof and collapsed into the lounger and stared up at the stars, wishing that there wasn't so much light pollution from the city. It would be so much nicer if she could actually see the stars.

A creaking sound alerted her to the fact that she had company. She didn't have to look to see who it was. The unmistakable scent of musk with just a hint of spice and pine carried on the wind. She knew that Clint wondered how she always knew when he was there, especially since she never actually saw him until he wanted to be seen or never gave any indication that she knew he was present. She had become used to his scent in New Mexico and it was a combination that hadn't left her. She could have told him, but having a little secret and being able to keep him on his toes was fun, so Darcy kept her mouth shut.

“I didn't expect to see you here,” Darcy said conversationally as she stretched in the lounger.

“Couldn't sleep,” Clint answered roughly, his voice hoarse, as if he had been screaming.

Darcy nodded. “Same. Natasha really worked me over good.”

Clint jerked and looked at her, a look that was either shock or disbelief on his face. Darcy chuckled at it and expanded on her statement. “We aren't doing the nasty, so get that out of your head. Besides, I might be curious as to what the Black Widow could do in bed, but I'm not stupid. And I don't think Natasha swings that way.”

Clint's face took on a grimace of pain, either from thinking of Natasha with a woman or Darcy with a woman, “Darcy...please.”

“Right, forgot, prude.” Darcy giggled at his expression and went on, “She's taken it upon herself to teach me self-defense. Every night she's available. For two hours. I think I've forgotten what having feeling in my arms feels like. She is not some gentle teacher. She's all about collecting bruises and learning from them.”

“Nat isn’t allowed to train new recruits anymore. She doesn’t get to beat them up until they’ve been training for at least six months.” Clint informed Darcy with a shadow of a smile, one that just barely caused the lines around his eyes to deepen.

“So,” Darcy started slowly, “what you are saying is that I'm doing work that a six month recruit would do?”

“Pretty much,” Clint agreed.

Darcy scowled. “I'd call her an evil bitch to her face if I thought she wouldn't bite me.”

“Natasha doesn't bite...much,” Clint said without thinking and then, realizing what he had just said, he froze and refused to look at Darcy.

Darcy's mouth opened a little in shock as the implication set in. Did that mean? Her brain almost refused to finish that thought. Tony would be delighted to know that his suspicions were true. Darcy tried to think of Clint and Natasha together like that and while it made something inside her twist and hurt, she had to admit they made a striking, and deadly, couple.

“Well, well, lucky you,” Darcy said as carelessly as she could manage.

“It wasn't like that,” Clint said then stopped because Darcy's face clearly told him that she wouldn't be buying that or any ocean front property in Arizona he had for sale either. He sighed and moved to lean against the railing. “Okay it was like that, at one point. But not in years. We didn't work out well as a couple, kept trying to kill each other.”

“I'm surprised she didn't manage to succeed,” Darcy said lightly as she tried to figure out just what that twisting in her stomach was.

Clint's lips twitched. “It wasn't for lack of trying, I'll give you that. Nowadays we're just friends and partners. I love her, Christ how could I not, she's all silk and steel, but I'm not in love with her. I'm not capable of that.”

At Clint's unexpected and candid admission, Darcy had to bite her tongue to keep from blurting out her first thought. Which was, “How will you know until you experience it?” and instead just went with, “Silk and steel? Why Agent Barton, that is rather poetic of you.”

“It's true,” Clint said with a smile. “She can dress up with the best of them and is way more deadly with a weapon than any man I know outside of the Avengers.”

“She's total badass,” Darcy said with a grin. “If it wasn't for the whole spying and killing thing I'd say I want to be her when I grow up.”

Clint had been grinning but then his face turned serious and he looked at Darcy. “Darce, don't say that, don't even think it. You don't want to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. Coulson would roll over in his grave if you went to work for S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“What, you don't think I could hack it?” Darcy demanded, feeling more than a little insulted.

“That's the problem, you could. Hell knowing you, you'd probably be just as good as Natasha one day if you let yourself go in that direction. But what we do? What we have to do, the blood that stains our hands and haunts our dreams? Coulson wouldn't want you to go through that.” Clint didn't look at Darcy when he spoke, keeping his eyes on the horizon, but to Darcy it felt like he was staring straight into her soul.

The words had an impact on Darcy, for so many reasons. The weary resignation in Clint's voice, that lingering hint of wistfulness that spoke to her as an indication that Clint regretted his decisions in life, and the fear that Darcy would one day follow in Phil's footsteps and join S.H.I.E.L.D. Only, Clint talked as if it was what Phil would want for her and Darcy had the impression that it was less about Phil and his wishes and more about Clint's own desire to keep her out of that part of Clint and Natasha's life.

She'd be the first admit that being a S.H.I.E.L.D agent had to be rough. Just look at how many secrets that Phil had been forced to keep over the years. And just look at how it was wearing on Clint. Natasha was so cold and distant seeming that Darcy was only just starting to realize that there was so much more to the Russian woman and she had the idea that it wouldn't matter if she and Natasha became besties, Natasha would always hold something back. Clint was the same way. The same was true with Phil, until their lives intersected last summer and forced him to reveal the truth.

No, Darcy couldn't see herself joining S.H.I.E.L.D. She wasn't capable of keeping those kinds of secrets. She just couldn't do it. Staring at her hands, she said quietly, “I don't think that is something you'll have to worry about. I'm not equipped to be a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Besides, can you see me following Fury?”

Clint snorted and turned to look at her, his eyes twinkling. “Fury would throw you off the helicarrier within twenty four hours.”

“I know right? I'm too pretty to die such a horrific death,” Darcy deadpanned.

 

OoOoO

 

Clint hadn't meant to go out on the roof. When trying to get some sleep turned impossible, he had walked through each level of the building that was designated for the Avengers. A quick peek on Thor's floor revealed that Jane was up and pouring over her results from that day's research. He had to find a way to get the scientist to sleep more. Even three days in was starting to wear on her. Dark circles were starting to stain her eyes and she just looked tired. But she cradled the laptop and ignored Clint's appearance.

Accepting there wasn't anything he could do now, he asked JARVIS to let him know Darcy's status. When the AI told Clint that Darcy was up on the roof, Clint told himself to ignore it and just go to bed. That worked for all of ten seconds and he was headed up to the roof. Darcy had looked tired, but not exhausted like Jane. Learning that Natasha was training her had surprised him. Darcy wasn't exactly exercise girl but hey she was three days in and not calling it quits so maybe Natasha had been going easy on her. A thought that was dismissed just as quickly as it appeared in his mind. Natasha didn't go easy on anyone.

It was his fault the conversation turned to Darcy joining S.H.I.E.L.D. He was almost certain that she had just been teasing, but the image of Darcy as an agent twisted something in his mind. After everything he'd seen, he just didn't want her to lose her innocence. His speech had surprised him and he could tell by Darcy's silence it had taken her back as well. But he couldn't deny the feeling of relief that washed over him when she had told him she would never be joining S.H.I.E.L.D. He didn't agree with her reasons why, because he knew all too well that anyone was capable of keeping secrets. But as long as her beliefs kept her from joining SHIELD he didn’t care if they were true or not.

The conversation eased after that and Clint found himself relaxing for the first time in almost two weeks. He had forgotten how good Darcy was at getting people to relax with aimless conversation. Right now she was telling him about Steve's very definitive ideas on fashion. It cracked him up to think about the man who blushed at the mention of flirting critiquing revealing fashion disasters.

“You know, I missed this,” Darcy said when she finished her story. She was lying on her side, staring at Clint from where he had crouched by the railing. “This whole talking deal.”

“It is nice,” Clint admitted. He hadn't realized how much he missed the late night chats on the roof until now.

“You were being an idiot,” Darcy said bluntly. “Pissed me off.”

Clint hunched his shoulders and shrugged. “Just trying to do what was right.”

“Ignoring me in some misguided attempt to protect me wasn't doing the right thing.”

“So I've been told.” Clint sighed and looked away. “Things have changed, Darcy.”

“Why I never would have guessed. Do tell,” Darcy said with a faked Southern accent.

Clint gave her a mild look. “More than you know.”

“Well I'd know more if you actually talked to me about it,” Darcy pointed out. “Instead you just think I should understand. How can I understand if I don't know?”

“I don't expect you to understand. Just accept.”

“Oh well you should have known how well that would have worked,” Darcy said with a sigh. “Honestly, it's like you don't know me at all.”

Clint grinned and it faded. He shifted and sat down, his legs stretched out in front of him. Darcy whistled at him and grinned when he rolled his eyes. His fingers tapped restlessly against a thigh and he considered just telling her the truth. Then he made the mistake of looking at her. Her entire body screamed at how relaxed she was. Her eyes were twinkling with amusement and her lips were curved in a smile. It was the first time Clint had seen her without that lingering grief in her eyes since she arrived and if he told her the truth all that would be gone.

Gritting his teeth, he said shortly. “I can't give you what you want, Darcy. There are just some things you can't know.”

“Things I can't know or just things you don't want me to know?” Darcy asked quietly.

“Both, I guess.”

“So where does that leave us?” she asked, twirling one lock of hair around her finger.

Clint thought about it and shook his head. “I don't know.”

“Well, there's one option,” Darcy said slowly. Clint turned his head to look at her and she shrugged. “I need to leave.”

“What?” Clint almost yelped it but managed to keep his voice within an acceptable range.

“You heard me. It's too awkward here with you tiptoeing around me. Everyone knows it. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you weren't assigned to look out for Jane and myself, but you are. Fury won't change his mind. I asked him too.”

“You what?” This time Clint did yelp, manhood be damned.

“Well I thought if I told Fury how unhappy you were he'd assign someone else. He told me that you'd just have to learn to deal with it.” Catching his hard stare, she shook her head. “I made sure he knew it was my idea. I just...Clint I'm not comfortable with this.”

“This?”

“You know what I'm talking about, don't play coy.” Darcy sighed and sat up, rubbing her palms against her knees. “You aren't comfortable, no matter how much you try to hide it. And between the two of us, I'm the expendable one.”

Clint shifted, pressing back against the concrete so that the hard surface bit into his back. The brief sting helped focus his mind. Darcy's words reminded him of Agent Kilmer and her vicious words back in New Mexico. He'd only heard the tail end, but it had been enough. Especially since Kilmer tried to draw down on Darcy. God, he should have kicked that bitch's ass instead of just taking her down. The whole episode had unsettled Darcy more than she let on, especially the barb about not being qualified.

Hearing Darcy essentially repeating the bitch's words now just sent a hot trickle of anger through him. His voice was harsh when he said, “You are not expendable.”

Darcy just looked at him with a touch of sadness. “When it comes to the research, yes I am. For all of Tony's childish desires to blow shit up, he's more qualified to help Jane. He actually understands what she's saying. Plus, he said something about trying to get Dr. Banner to join you guys here. That gives Jane someone else who can help, especially since Dr. Banner helped locate the cube thingie when Loki was on Earth. Jane is qualified, Tony is qualified, Dr. Banner is qualified. I'm not.” She shrugged and continued, “That is something I can't ignore and neither should you. I know a large part of why Fury hasn't bothered to convince Jane to take on a more competent and qualified assistant is the fact that I'm Phil Coulson's niece.”

“Darcy,” Clint started but she shook her head and he fell silent.

“It doesn't bother me. Not really, or not like how you think it might. It bothers me because: what if Jane is actually being hampered by having me around? What kind of progress could she make if she had someone around to help that understood what the hell she was saying ninety percent of the time? I sure as hell don't and that has to cost her something in the research.”

He honestly didn't think she was putting herself down. It was what she believed and the worst thing about it was she was right. She was great and organizing and running interference but she wasn't a physics major. Jane never complained so to him it wasn't an issue. But clearly Darcy thought it was.

Clint tuned back o hear Darcy finish, “Most importantly, I don't see how you can do your job, protecting Jane, if you are so uneasy when I'm around.”

“I've...” He trailed off, not knowing what to say. Saying he was trying to be better was just an insult to them both. He sighed. “I know.”

“If I left, you would be more comfortable. I could go home, see my family. God knows they wouldn't object. And maybe if I wasn't here you could deal with your grief over Phil better.” Darcy sat back and looked away.

Clint straightened. It was the last thing he expected her to say and he wasn't even aware that she thought that way. Wanting her to know he didn't, he rose and walked over to sit next to her. It ripped at him that she flinched when he laid a hand on her shoulder. “Darcy, you being here has nothing to do with how I'm dealing with Phil's death. It is something else that's responsible for that.”

“Something you won’t tell me,” Darcy whispered.

“Yeah,” Clint muttered, letting his hand fall away.

“I should leave anyway. It isn't fair to you, to Jane, and to everyone else.” She looked down at her hands.

Clint bit the inside of his lip to prevent him from doing something stupid, like begging her to stay. Yes, he felt the guilt over Coulson's death ten times as strong when Darcy was around him. It literally ate him from the inside seeing her. But not having her around would be worse. As horrible as he felt, as guilty as he felt, having Darcy around was probably the one thing that grounded him. Conflicting as it was, having Darcy around reminded him that not all things in the world were shit.

He couldn't live with himself if he was the reason why she left. He touched her shoulder to get her attention. When she looked at him, he was startled and a little scared of the tears that shimmered in her eyes. Without thinking Clint wrapped one arm around Darcy's shoulder and pulled her against him. Something inside him eased just a little when she hesitated then leaned into him, letting her head fall on his shoulders. He turned his head and pressed his cheek against the top of her hair, inhaling the warm scent of vanilla and sugar from her shampoo.

His voice was barely above a whisper when he said, “I don't want you to leave.”

Darcy tensed and then a moment later she let out a shuddering breath as her entire body relaxed against his. “Why?”

“I don't know, I just don't want you to,” Clint said honestly. In the back of his mind he knew why he didn't want her to leave, but he refused to admit it. As long as he didn't admit it, even to himself, then it wasn't true. He cleared his throat and said, “There has to be another way to get around this.”

“Short of you just telling me what the fucking problem is, I don't see it,” Darcy sighed and turned her head so her nose brushed against the side of his neck.

The tension that had knotted in his spine eased away as her warm breath caressed his neck. It stirred something in him that he had always forced himself to ignore when she got all cuddly like this. He should ignore it now, it was dangerous, but he just couldn't. It was weak of him but at the moment he just didn't give a damn.

He rubbed his fingers along her upper arm for no reason other than it made him feel better and judging by Darcy's contented sigh, her as well. There had to be a way that she could stay that would make things easier between them. He wasn't willing to accept her leaving as the only plausible answer.

“What if we just took my issue off the table? Forget it exists and just go back to friends, like in New Mexico?” he questioned softly. He didn't know why he thought of it, but it seemed like a good enough plan.

Darcy pulled away and he instantly missed the warmth of her body against his. She gave him a look that said he was being stupid. Darcy sounded less than enthused over his idea on how to fix the problem when she said, “You mean completely ignore the huge fucking elephant in the room?”

“Denial is better than you leaving.”

“Maybe in your universe,” Darcy muttered. After a moment, in which she seemed to consider it, she said, “So what, we just ignore it and go back to how it was in New Mexico, all evening chats on the roof, complete with rocky road ice cream?”

“I meant go back to just being friends,” Clint said slowly. “You did say you missed it.”

“Yeah but I don't think this will fix it. We can't ignore something like this forever. Hell, I probably won't last a week before I go crazy with wanting to ask you what the problem is.”

“Darcy, seriously, it isn't something I want to talk about. I don't even want to talk about it with Natasha but she can kick my ass and has threatened to do so if I don't talk to her about it. I just...I just want something normal right now. You, this, it's normal. It's what I need.”

“What about me?” Darcy asked softly. “What about what I need?”

“I think you need someone other than Jane who knows about your relationship with Coulson. Someone you can talk to. Right now that's two people, me and Tasha, and I'm the only one who really knows.” Clint felt a little bit selfish but his logic made sense to him. He needed normal and Darcy needed someone who could just listen and accept that she was all torn up over Phil.

“Point,” Darcy conceded, still uneasy. “Still I don't know if this is the right way to go about it.”

“We have nothing to lose if we don't at least try it,” Clint pressed. “We can try and if it is a complete failure, we can go back to the drawing board. Because seriously Darcy, no one wants to see you leave.”

Darcy hesitated and bit her lip. The simple innocent gesture had Clint shifting where he sat. Oh yeah those thoughts were dangerous. Finally she sighed and looking reluctant, she nodded. “Yeah, okay. Nothing to lose just for trying.”

“So you won't leave.”

The worry in his voice was enough to have Darcy twist around to kiss his cheek. Her breath was warm against his cheek as she said, “No, I'm not leaving.”

His arm went back around her shoulders, holding her close. “Good.”

 

 


	14. Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agent Kilmer's agenda is discovered and Darcy has a very strong reaction to it, leaving Clint to comfort her.

_The Previous Summer_

 

“So, are you okay?” Clint asked for the third time in less than an hour.

Darcy pursed her lips in irritation and asked, “If I say yes, will you please stop asking me that?”

“No because you don't seem okay.”

“Gee, Hawkeye, I guess I'm not as used to people trying to kill me as you are.”

“She wasn't going to kill you,” Clint said with a sigh. “I wouldn't have let her.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Sheer willpower will not stop a bullet.”

“Darcy.” Clint's tone was censoring and made her feel like she was twelve and getting caught kissing James Carson all over again.

Frustrated, Darcy threw her hands in the air. “I'm sorry but I am allowed to freak the fuck out.” She held her finger and thumb an inch apart. “This much. This is how much I'm allowed to freak out. Got it?”

Rolling his eyes in surrender, Clint said, “Fine, freak out, your highness.”

“Thank you,” Darcy said with a regal nod and then the words seemed to just claw their way up her throat and out her mouth as what happened two days ago finally sank in. It hadn't taken Phil long to find out just what Agent Kilmer had been up to and the knowledge had chilled Darcy to the bone and drove her to the roof for some solitude to digest the news.

Clint had followed so it was his own fault he was witness to her meltdown. Calmly, she yelled as quietly as possible, not wanting her uncle or Jane to come up here, “I mean what the fucking hell? Her entire plan was to get me out of the lab so she could nab Jane. What kind of person does that?”

“The desperate kind,” Clint said by way of explanation. “Investigation discovered she had over two million dollars in gambling debts.”

“Casinos or the ponies?” Darcy asked, curious despite her anger.

“Ponies...I think.”

“Well someone should have taught her about handicapping,” Darcy sneered.

“Like you know anything about playing the ponies,” Clint laughed.

“True, but still.” Darcy exhaled sharply. “So kidnapping Jane and delivering her would have cleared the debt?”

Clint nodded and Darcy turned away to stare out at the desert. Even after seeing him in action when he took down Agent Kilmer and knowing that he and some other agents had spent a night in the desert capturing or killing the people who wanted Jane, Darcy had been able to treat the S.H.I.E.L.D detail as if it was some kind of game. Until now.Now it was real, it was serious, and she was right in the middle of it; now she understood why Uncle Phil worried so much. People really were willing to do anything to get their hands on Jane's research. Someone had been willing to throw away a very promising career because she played with the wrong people.

Darcy sniffed and swiped a hand under her nose. She was not going to cry. No way. But the tears stung her eyes anyway. “Things like this are supposed to happen in the movies. It isn't supposed to be real.”

“All sorts of scary things are real.”

“Giant Robots of Doom I can handle. Didn't blink twice...okay maybe I did blink twice at it but still. Gods from other worlds, hey just another day in the office. But kidnapping? Being held at gunpoint? That's not supposed to happen, it isn't weird enough.”

“You weren't held at gun point. She didn't even have a chance to point the gun at you,” Clint corrected gently.

“It's not the fucking point,” Darcy snapped. “It isn't supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen. I just wanted some fucking college credits so I didn't have to suffer through an Anatomy class with third rate jocks offering some hands on studying. It's fucking astrophysics. Not the next WMD.”

“To some people this kind of work is a weapon of mass destruction. Could you imagine what Hitler could have done had he had the knowledge that there were other worlds? Or what any terrorist today could do if they could open a gateway to another world and recruit aliens to help their cause?”

“Is that why S.H.I.E.L.D wants it? To recruit aliens?” Darcy asked.

“I don't know,” Clint said with a shrug, “They don't tell me that kind of stuff. I'm just a grunt.”

Darcy gave him a shaky smile. “You are so not a grunt. Grunts do mindless work and jump when told. If someone told you to jump you'd probably tell them to jump off a cliff first.”

“I do have some authority issues,” Clint said with a quirk of his lips.

He had wanted to tease a smile out of Darcy but it failed. He scrubbed a hand over the top of his head, wondering why Coulson had saddled him with calming Darcy down. He was exhausted and Coulson had to know it.

In the two days since Agent Kilmer went psycho on Darcy and an in depth search, S.H.I.E.L.D intelligence had finally found a connection to a little known about German based terrorist group. Kilmer had been paid 2 million dollars to get as much of Jane Foster's research and if possible, for a million dollar bonus, Jane herself. Interrogation with Kilmer had revealed that a portion of that group was waiting in the desert, for Kilmer to deliver the goods. Clint, along with two other agents, had gone out the night before to find them and eliminate them if capture wasn't possible.

Now he was just tired and really wanted some sleep. But Coulson wanted him with Darcy and here he was.

Darcy shook her head. “I can't believe this is the kind of thing Uncle Phil does all the time. I couldn’t handle it.”

“No one is asking you too. Darcy, you know we won't let anything happen to you.”

“I believe you, I do. It's just hard to swallow because dammit she was S.H.I.E.L.D. We were supposed to be able to trust S.H.I.E.L.D, not be worried that an agent could be bought off.” One tear slipped past her guard and trickled down her cheek.

Clint reached over and gently wiped it away. Darcy bit her lip to prevent more tears from following the first. Clint hesitated, feeling uneasy with tears and cursed Coulson for putting him in this position. The hesitation only lasted a few seconds before he pulled Darcy into his arms. She buried her head against his chest as her shoulders shook with the effort to not cry. He ran his hand up and down her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner and just held her. Darcy eventually won the battle against her tears, but still made no effort to move .

“Do you trust me?” Clint asked quietly after several minutes of silence.

Darcy's shoulders shook again and for a moment Clint panicked, thinking she was crying. Seconds later he heard her broken laugh and she said, her voice muffled against his shirt. “That's a stupid question.”

“Considering what happened, not so stupid.”

“Phil trusts you,” she said simply.

“And you trust Phil?” Clint pressed.

“Of course I do,” Darcy said with a touch of indignation.

“Then trust me when I say Phil will get to the bottom of this.”

“I do. It's just...” she trailed off.

“Just what?”

Darcy pulled back to look at him, worry in her eyes. “You and Phil are leaving with Dr. Selvig next week.”

Clint opened his mouth to deny it but she just gave him a look that erased that thought. So much for that little bit of knowledge being kept secret. He sighed and nodded. “Yes, we are. There's another project S.H.I.E.L.D is working on and Dr. Selvig is needed. It's so top secret that I don't even know what it's about and I pretty much have clearance for everything. I don't even know if Coulson knows all the details.”

“Scary.”

“Very. What does that have to do with this?”

Darcy shrugged and looked away. “You'll both be gone. How do I know I can trust who ever replaces you?”

“Well, I can tell you that Agent Sitwell will be replacing Coulson and he's just as good as Coulson. You can trust him. He's so straight and narrow that you could use him as a level.”

Darcy laughed and leaned against Clint, wrapping her arms around his waist long enough to give him a quick hug. “Thanks, Bird Boy.”

“Oh come on,” Clint whined. “Think of something different at least.”

“I like the tried and true,” Darcy said loftily. “Hell this week has fucking sucked.”

“Hey, I bought you Red Hots.”

“And as a feel better gift they were perfect, but the week still sucked.”

“If I could help, I would.”

“I'm so glad you said that,” Darcy said with a sly grin.

Clint narrowed his eyes and took one cautious step back, his eyes quickly scanning Darcy for any sign of her taser. He honestly wouldn't put it past her to tase him just to make herself feel better. She had an abnormal connection with that taser. Which was saying a lot considering how he felt about his bow. “Why?”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “I don't have my taser, freak. I was going to say you could agree to go out with me and Jane this weekend. I'll talk Phil into coming too and it can be a goodbye party.”

“Why do I have a feeling that agreeing to do this could end in disaster?” Clint wondered.

Darcy snickered. “Probably because I'm a hilarious and affectionate drunk.”

“How affectionate?” Clint asked before he could stop himself.

“Put it this way, by the time we leave, Uncle Phil will need to see a dentist because of all the teeth grinding,”Darcy answered with a giggle.

Clint seemed to consider this and grinned. “Okay, deal. If you can get Coulson to go.”

“No problem. I'll tell him I need someone to watch my back so I don't go home with an ax murderer.”  
“That will do it,” Clint commented lightly. “So feeling better?”

“Eh,” Darcy answered with a shrug. “Not really but better than before. Thanks.”

“Just doing my job, ma’am,” Clint said with a fake Texas drawl as he tipped an imaginary hat.

Darcy linked her arm through his and fanned herself with her free hand. “I do declare.”

“Come on,” Clint laughed. “Let's find Phil.”

“Yessir!” Darcy snapped with a roll of her eyes.

She had been telling the truth. She felt slightly better but still worried. Worry she tried to ignore but it only increased when she thought about Phil and Clint leaving. This was the longest she had ever spent with her uncle and as for Clint, well it felt like he had been part of her life forever. It would be heart wrenching to see them leave.

But she couldn't insist they stay just because one little incident made her nervous. She'd just have to get over it. Still, them leaving changed things and she wasn't sure how she felt about these new changes. Clint said something, catching her attention, and she made herself stop thinking about her two favorite people leaving next week and tried to focus on the time that was left. It was all she had since she was pretty sure she wouldn't be allowed to tag along when they left.


	15. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things settle down in Avengers Tower after Darcy and Clint's truce. Only Natasha doesn't quite approve and makes her opinion known. A surprise visit shakes things up for Darcy.

_Present Time_

 

They were into week two of the 'friendship'. Clint was struggling to keep all his guilt and doubt hidden away when he was around Darcy. It worked, for the most part, but he could tell that Darcy was still bothered by it. She never came out and said it, but he'd sometimes catch her looking at him out the corner of her eye with concern or sadness. Natasha had told him that he was being stupid and only prolonging the agony. It was the first time he resented her opinion, which was saying a lot. It wasn't that he didn't know she was right, he just resented the fact that she constantly shoved it in his face when they were alone. Why couldn't she just let him live in denial a little longer?

If he was honest with himself, Clint was starting to regret his stupid idea. He didn't know why he thought that they could just go back to the way it had been in New Mexico. Too much had changed. Maybe, he thought with a grunt as he worked the weights in the gym, he was trying to too hard to cling on to the past. Okay, he accepted with a growl under his breath, there was no maybe about it. It was exactly what he was doing.

Why Darcy put up with his bullshit, Clint didn't know. Why he cared so much about Darcy...well that was a little different. If asked if he was attracted to Darcy, he would say no and be lying. It wasn't just that she was beautiful, it went beyond looks. She was snarky, witty, sarcastic to a fault, intelligent, and once you got past the rest, really kind and caring. She went above and beyond the call of duty when it came to her commitment to Jane Foster. When you added it all together, it was hard not to be attracted to her.

But as attracted to her as Clint was, he wasn't going to allow himself to explore the option. For one thing, she was twelve years younger than he was. For another, she deserved more than someone who risked his life constantly. She deserved someone who could be there for her and be completely truthful. There were aspects of his job that would always prevent him from telling her everything and Darcy had already expressed her dislike for all the secret keeping that was standard in S.H.I.E.L.D. Finally, and Clint had realized recently that this wasn't as big of a problem as he figured it would be, there was Coulson.

Not just the guilt that Clint was unable to shake. He just didn't think that Coulson would approve of him, a master assassin, pursuing his niece. And that really said it all. Coulson went through extreme efforts to keep his professional life separate from his personal life. It was a decision that Clint respected and was bound to honor. It didn't occur to Clint that Darcy might not agree.

He sighed and with a grunt let the dumbbells he had been using clank to the floor. Leaning forward, he snagged a towel and swiped at the sweat on his face. Working out had been his go to solution to his problems lately.

“You know, working yourself like this won't fix your problems,” Natasha said from the doorway of the gym.

“I don't have any problems,” Clint replied without looking up.

“Lying is very unattractive,” Natasha said with a sigh.

“Hasn't that ship sailed?” Clint stood and tossed his towel in the direction of a beat up duffel.

Natasha made a huffing sound and moved into the room. “I don't know what to do with you.”

Clint shrugged. “Do nothing?”

“I can't do that,” Natasha snapped.

Clint picked up his duffel and carried it one handed over to Natasha. He rested a hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. “It isn't your place to fix my problems.”

“I thought you didn't have any?” Natasha shot back, but the warmth in her eyes softened the retort.

He shrugged. Natasha would have stomped her foot if it wasn't such a childish move. She followed Clint out and to his rooms. When he tried to shut the door in her face, she slid a foot in the door's path to stop it. At his annoyed glance, she smiled and slipped into his room. Clint gave a resigned sigh and shut the door behind her.

“If you are going to lecture me, I hope you have new material.” Clint dropped his duffel bag on the floor next to the couch and sat, not really caring if his sweaty body stained the fabric.

Natasha sniffed at his disregard to the furniture and sat on the edge of the coffee table and looked at him. “It's time to admit you were wrong, Clint.”

“It's been two weeks.”

“And despite your best efforts, both you and Darcy are miserable. You knew that it is impossible to go back to something that was in the past. You can't go back to New Mexico.”

“I can try,” Clint muttered.

“No you can't,” Natasha said sharply. “I can't sit by and watch you do this to yourself. Maybe it would be different if Coulson had lived, but the fact is he didn't. We all have to live with that. Since he didn't and knowing that Darcy's his niece, it just isn't fair to try and force something that isn't there anymore.”

“I don't think it's fair to say it isn't there anymore,” Clint protested. “It's just...”

“Right now, it isn't, Clint,” Natasha said ruthlessly. “Until you tell Darcy what happened to you, you don't have a chance of going back to that friendship. I won't claim to understand your obsession with trying to cling to the past, but it is destroying whatever chance you have of continuing that friendship.”

Clint gave her a thinly veiled look of disgust. “It isn't an obsession.”

“Isn't it?” Natasha shot back.

“I don't want to hurt her.”

“Funny because that is all that you seem to be doing to her.” Natasha refused to pull her punches. She'd kept quiet, mostly, for the last two weeks, willing to let Clint try and work things out for himself. But after seeing the kind of effect it was having on Darcy, she decided enough was enough. Darcy wouldn't say anything, needing Clint more than she needed to tell Clint that this wasn't working. She couldn't fault Darcy, but that didn't mean Natasha was just going to stand off to the side and watch this train wreck.

Clint let out a frustrated growl and leaned back. “The only other option is her leaving.”

“No,” Natasha corrected. “The other option is to tell her everything and let her make her own decisions.”

“No,” Clint said flatly.

“Then let the woman go if that is what she needs. Don't cling to her just to soothe yourself. It isn't fair to her and it isn't fair to you.” Natasha shook her hair back out of her face. “It also isn't fair to the rest of us.”

“I don't remember how this is any business of yours,” Clint said snidely.

Natasha ignored that and arched a brow. “You aren't the only one who is having to lie to Darcy. We all have to lie to her just to keep your cover. You don't want to tell her what happened? Fine. Let me.”

“How is that going to help? It doesn't matter who tells her what happened to me, the story won't be different. She'll still know that I was Loki's ass monkey and that it was because of me that Loki was able to attack the helicarrier, which got her uncle killed.” Clint closed his eyes in defeat.

“Clint, you are one of the best men I know. You saved me and I can never repay you for that. You showed me that I didn't just have to be a killer, you opened up a whole new life for me. That's a debt that can never be repaid. But never in all the years have I known you have I ever seen you be this unbelievably selfish,” Natasha said harshly, rising from where she was sitting.

Clint flinched and couldn't bring himself to look at her. “Natasha...”

“No. I don't care for your excuses anymore. Maybe not telling Darcy the truth when she first got here was in her best interests. She didn't need to know then. But now, almost four weeks later? No matter what you say, not wanting to tell her because you fear she may reject you makes you selfish. It isn't thinking about her, it's all about you. And that, Clint, is what disgusts me.”

Natasha turned and left, leaving Clint alone to his thoughts. Clint didn't know who he was more pissed off with: Natasha or himself. He hated that she was right. Hated that he had turned into a selfish coward. Hated that he was ruining someone's life because he wasn't willing to face the truth. If he was a better man, he'd go and find Darcy and tell her the truth right now. If he had been the kind of man that she, and Coulson, thought him to be, he would have told her weeks ago. Instead, he was the kind of man who was simply too scared to face the truth and risk losing someone he hadn't realized he needed so much.

 

OoOoO

 

Darcy elbowed Clint and pointed to the TV. “Fake.”

“No, those are real,” Clint said as he tilted his head to look at the TV from a better angle.

She snorted and shook her head. “Tony, opinion?”

“Fake.” Tony barely even glanced at the TV before making his pronouncement.

“Dare I ask how you know that?” Darcy asked a little warily.

“Only if you’re the type who likes dirty stories. Cause it's a filthy one,” Tony leered with a wink.

Darcy chuckled. “Those are the best kind, but please don't share.”

“Downer,” Tony muttered and looked back at the tablet he was working on.

It was one of those quiet evenings. Darcy cajoled Clint and Tony into watching a chick flick with her. She honestly had no interest in the movie itself, but it was entertaining to watch Clint bitch and moan about watching a girlie movie. Tony wasn't nearly as entertaining since five minutes into the movie he pulled out a tablet and started working.

Jane was sleeping. Finally. With a little help. Darcy felt absolutely no guilt about slipping her boss an Ambian to get her to sleep. Natasha was off doing whatever it was Natasha did. Darcy wasn't going to ask questions since she got the night off her self-defense lesson. Pepper was out of town. She'd been spending a lot of time out of town lately while Tony focused on getting Avengers Tower back in order. And Darcy had no idea where Steve was. He disappeared after dinner.

So it was just Darcy and her two guys. Darcy had, for reasons that baffled Clint and everyone else, bonded quickly with Tony. And Tony sort of adopted her as a daughter or sister. No one looked too close at the specifics because it wasn't hurting anyone. The only person it bothered was Clint and since he and Darcy were attempting to get back on even ground, he didn't comment on it. Much. All they knew was that Darcy didn't put up with Tony's bullshit and called him on it when he was being too obnoxious. Tony seemed highly entertained by the entire situation and Clint was sure that half the stuff Tony did was purely to see Darcy get riled up.

Darcy had actually integrated herself within the group nicely. To Tony she was someone to bounce ideas off of and joke with. To Steve she was the one who slowly tutored him on pop culture and shared his love for classic movies. Natasha's relationship with Darcy was tenuous at best, held together by self-defense lessons and Natasha's knowledge of Darcy's relationship with Coulson. And Clint, well, that was something that was much speculated over by the others when neither were in the room with them.

It was, after that short period of adjustment and awkwardness with Clint aside, a pretty perfect set up for Darcy. She liked her work, enjoyed the lifestyle, and was developing good friendships with the people who saved the world. With the exception of Thor, there was only one missing Avenger now and Darcy wasn't sure if she should be grateful or feel denied at not meeting the most destructive member of the Avengers. On one hand, she really wanted to meet Bruce Banner because he was intriguing, what with the Hulk and everything. But it was for that exact reason she wasn't sure she wanted to meet the man. Darcy was impulsive and a little bit of a risk taker. Having someone who turned into a giant green rage machine when he lost control was a little bit too much of a temptation for her. Throw in that Tony was the same way, having Banner here might not be the best idea.

Darcy stretched and grabbed the bowl of popcorn sitting on the coffee table. Batting Clint's hand out of the way, she grabbed a handful and shoved it in her mouth. If there was only one problem with the way things were it was sitting right next to her. She glared at him when he stole some of her popcorn and let her mind drift on the whole Clint situation.

She would admit that things were easier between them. He was making an honest effort to relax around her, as evidenced by indulging in her whim for a chick flick tonight. But it still bothered her that he was hiding something that apparently had something to do with her. And no one else she talked to would tell her what it was. Natasha flat out told her that she was being ridiculous for indulging Clint and if she wanted to know then she should grow a pair and make him tell her. After that particular conversation she didn't bring up Clint to Natasha again.

Tony was no help. He had been oddly silent on the whole matter. Whenever she brought it up, Tony would change the subject. He was even worse than Clint when it came to the issue. The only thing he would say was that it wasn't his story to tell. And she never asked Steve because it seemed to her that by asking Steve it would put him in the position of having to choose between telling her the truth and staying loyal to a teammate. Steve was too much of a sweetheart for Darcy to do that to him. Jane knew something. She never came out and said it, but Darcy saw it in the little looks Jane would give Clint when Jane thought Darcy wasn't looking.

So yeah, it was bugging her. And she wanted to ask Clint. She really did. But the one thing that was holding her back was how good Clint had been about talking to her about Coulson. It made him uneasy, she could see that, but he never stopped her when she brought up Coulson. He let her talk it out and on a few occasions had held her while she cried. He'd been a rock in that aspect and selfishly she clung to that rather than risk losing it because of her curiosity.

Plus, there were the tingles that taunted her whenever Clint was around. Darcy first noticed the tingles when they had been in New Mexico. Because of the situation, she mostly ignored them. Now it was harder to ignore them. The tingles were now like bolts of lightning, but not quite. They were always there, just hovering underneath her skin. It only got worse when they touched. It was starting to be very distracting and in a way comforting. Darcy didn't know when the tingles grew into so much of a thing that she couldn't stop thinking about them.

Selfishness and tingles prevented Darcy from doing what came natural and that was prying. But there was only so long that being selfish and having tingles would hold her back. It occurred to her that rather than letting it come to that point and destroy everything, she should leave. It had been her original plan and still the best in her mind. But, her hope that Clint would just come out and tell her won out and she ignored the voice telling her that this would only end badly.

So here she was, curled up on the couch with an assassin and Iron Man. Her life was really fucking weird. The movie was half over and she was already bored. Since Clint wasn't even paying attention anymore, the whole appeal of chick flick night was gone. She was about to complain about being bored when JARVIS' voice echoed in the room.

“Sir, there is a young lady attempting to access the secure elevator.”

Tony blinked and looked up, his eyes slightly vacant. His fingers flew over his tablet as Clint and Darcy exchanged curious looks. Tony hummed under his breath as he accessed the security feeds. “Why would anyone try to access the secure elevator. The only people who have access to that elevator live here.”

“Curious reporter?” Darcy offered.

“A Stark fangirl? Did you sleep with her?” Clint grinned at Tony's answer looking.

“Barton, even I have standards. How in the world did this child, cause I'd eat Cap's shield if she was a day over 18, get past security? I gotta say, S.H.I.E.L.D is really slacking.”

Darcy blinked as a thought struck her and leaned over Clint to look at the tablet. She didn't want it to be true but as she stared at the footage on the tablet, she swore under her breath. “Shit, let me see.”

Tony shifted and angled the tablet towards Darcy so that she could see better. Darcy eyed the blonde who was glaring at the elevator when it refused to open and swore, using several words that caused even Tony to look impressed.

“I take it you know her?” Tony asked mildly.

“Yes and you should get ready to eat that shield, she's nineteen,” Darcy growled. “She isn't supposed to be here yet.” She turned and smacked Clint. “You said you'd talk to Tony and Fury.”

“I talked to Fury,” Clint pointed out. “She got past the S.H.I.E.L.D agents that are running security. Guess I forgot to tell Stark.”

“Tell me what? Who is she?” Tony demanded and was ignored.

“Shall I have her detained, sir?” JARVIS asked, his British voice sounding a little put out. “She is, in case you missed it, attempting to hack the overrides in the elevator.”

“Ballsy of her,” Tony said musingly.

Darcy made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat. “Idiotic is more like it. JARVIS, no need to detain her. I'll go get her.”

“Who is she?” Tony asked again as Darcy heaved herself off the couch.

Crooking a finger at Clint in a silent command to follow, she gave Tony an apologetic look. “Family. I thought I had her talked out of returning since it hadn't come up again. But apparently not if she has S.H.I.E.L.D clearance.” At that she aimed a dirty look at Clint for not informing her of that little tidbit. “I'll try and convince her to go back home.”

“Nonsense. Family is always welcome. Bring her on up. I want to meet the girl who thinks she can hack my system.” Tony waved off Darcy's plan.

“And doing quite well,” JARVIS supplied helpfully. “She's good.”

“Fuck my life,” Darcy muttered as she followed Clint to the elevator. “I've told her to stop that shit.”

“So I'm guessing movie night is over?” Clint asked as they stepped into the elevator. Clint used his access codes and tolerated the retinal scan, the palm scan, and then spoke his name for voice verification. Tony Stark took his security seriously.

“Yeah I think it's going to turn into fratricide night. Hope you can hide the body.”

“One of my many talents,” Clint teased.

Darcy grunted and tapped her foot as the elevator moved downward. She was going to kill Libby. Not just for coming to New York after Darcy told her to stay put, but for not calling. And for trying to hack Tony.

The elevator slid to a stop and the doors slid open. Darcy shook her finger in the face of the startled blonde teenager. “Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do.”

“Darcy!” squealed the girl and threw herself at the brunette. “I missed you!”

Darcy tried to look stern but it was hard to do when she was clinging to her sister. Clint relaxed against the wall and watched the two. So this was the infamous Libby. He still had no idea what the connection between her and Darcy was, but whatever it was it was familial and one that was full of love and warmth.

“I told you not to come back, to take your classes online. Why is it you never listen to me?” Darcy scolded as she pulled away.

The blonde, who was two inches shorter than Darcy and had bright blue eyes, shrugged. “Gonna ground me?”

“I should.” Darcy wrapped one arm around Libby's shoulders. “But I guess I can be glad that you are here.”

“You should be. I'm the light of your life,” Libby said with a grin. She peeked over Darcy's shoulder and let out a low whistle when she saw Clint. “And who is the man candy?”

Darcy choked and twisted her head quickly to see Clint turn red at Libby's assessment of his looks. “Libby, this is Clint Barton, a friend. Clint, this is Elizabeth Lewis, my sister.”

“Sister?” Clint asked as his eyebrows winged upwards. “I thought...” He trailed off and shook his head. He realized that Tony was still listening and knew that Darcy hadn't told anyone else other than Jane. “Not at all what I was thinking.”

“I don't even want to know what you were thinking. Come on, let's get upstairs.” Darcy tugged Libby into the elevator and sighed when Libby wiggled her eyebrows at her when Clint turned to deal with the security measures. “Oh jeez.”

“So, Darcy, want to tell me how you came to work and live in Stark Tower? With, I'm assuming, Tony Stark, every woman's wet dream?” Libby asked.

Clint snorted at that. Libby smiled sweetly at him and added with a wink, “Though if there are more of him around, I can see why you don't leave.”

Darcy moaned and buried her head in her hands and actually contemplated banging her head against the elevator wall just to see if this was all a dream. Clint was openly laughing now. “Oh wow. She's a mini you!”

“Shut up! She is not,” Darcy growled. “I'm still working with Dr. Foster, Libby, and right now she's working with Mr. Stark. It was easier for us to move in here than to find a place in the city.”

Libby looked at the lavish elevator and shook her head in amazement. “Man when you fall in it you really fall in it.”

“Just...just be quiet. I'm mad at you.”

“You can't be mad at me, I'm adorable.”

“Libby, please. You didn't call to warn me you were coming back, you didn't contact me when you arrived, instead you tried to hack Tony Stark's system to gain access to an area you have no clearance for. Clearance you would have had, IF you had called me to say, 'Hey sis, guess whose in town?'” Darcy almost growled the last words as she glared at Libby.

“How do you know that I tried to hack the system?” Libby asked, ignoring everything else Darcy said.

“Tony Stark sees all and knows all. Plus, hello, security cameras.”

“Huh, forgot about those,” Libby mused thoughtfully. “I'm getting rusty.”

Clint watched the sisters with a smile on his face. He could fully understand why Phil hadn't wanted Libby in New Mexico last summer. She would have driven everyone insane. Even after five minutes he had the feeling that the girl never shut up. She really was a mini Darcy, only maybe just a little bit more energetic.

“So do you often hack high security buildings?” Clint asked as the elevator slid to a stop.

“Only when I get bored,” Libby answered as the doors slid open. Tony was standing there waiting for him. Libby gaped at him for half a second, then said impulsively, “Wow you are way hotter in person.”

Darcy turned and buried her head against Clint's shoulder and groaned, “Why me?”

Clint snickered and rubbed her back. “There, there.”

Tony hesitated half a second, looking between Libby, who was grinning, and Darcy, who was trying to will herself to disappear into thin air. His confusion shifted into amusement and he gave Libby a quick grin. “There are two of you?”

“Was I like that when I first got here?” Darcy asked no one in particular.

“You wolf whistled Rogers and almost accepted being Stark's piece of on the side,” Clint answered, earning a glare from Darcy.

“Double your pleasure,” Libby said saucily.

Tony laughed. “I'm going to like you.”

“Watch yourself, Stark,” Darcy warned as she elbowed Clint in the side as he laughed. “She may be of age but she's so far off limits that if you even wink at her I'll remove your balls with a dull spoon.”

“Dull spoon?” Libby asked, completely ignoring the way Tony and Clint winced.

Darcy shrugged and looped her arm through her sister's. “It would hurt more.”

“You totally stole that from Alan Rickman,” Libby accused.

Darcy led Libby down the hall to the living room, leaving the two guys staring after them. “No, I stole it from his character. Really it's hard to pass up. It was a good line.”

“And you can't threaten guys like that! How am I supposed to date if you threaten all the guys who flirt with me?” Libby demanded before she stopped and gaped at the opulence that was the shared living room.

“You are my little sister, I can do whatever I want. Besides, you are too young to date and everyone here is off limits. Especially the handsome and insanely rich man with no impulse control,” Darcy said lightly. Tony and Clint joined them and Darcy waved a hand at Tony. “Tony, meet my sister, Libby. She's sorry she tried to hack you.”

“I am not.” Libby said hotly. When Tony met her eyes and raised a brow, she sighed. “Okay I'm a little bit sorry.”

“I accept and nice to meet you. I'm impressed. You got further than anyone has before. How did you do that?” Tony moved to shake her hand.

Libby grinned at him and tossed her hair over shoulder smugly. “Everyone knows you have an AI system that runs your security and everything. I got bored last semester and did a paper on learning AI's like yours. Very impressive, by the way.”

“Thank you,” JARVIS said before Tony could say anything.

“Holy shit,” Libby breathed. “That's fucking awesome. That's the AI.”

“Yes, his name is JARVIS.” Tony waved a hand dismissively. “Very impressive and all that. But how did you go from researching AIs to hacking my system.”

“I wanted to see my sister?” Libby offered as an explanation, not sounding sure of herself. Tony and Darcy both gave her a censoring look and Libby sighed, “I just wanted to see if I could. It the data, once I go over it, will be very helpful in my final paper this semster.”

Darcy rolled her eyes and cuffed Libby on the shoulder. “Libby has a talent with computers and technology. She is also an amateur hacker, something I'm trying to correct. It won't happen again, Tony.”

“No, wait,” Tony studied Libby with thoughtful eyes. “Why are you here in New York, Darcy notwithstanding?”

“Well, I go to Columbia. Given what happened a few weeks ago, I took my classes online, the ones I could. The ones I couldn't take online, I dropped and will make up this summer. Since my sister is here I decided to come back a few weeks before finals to spend time with her before I fall into the madness that is finals,” Libby explained.

Tony nodded in understanding. “You majoring in tech?”

“Yeah, computer sciences.”

“Interesting. And you plan on making up a few classes this summer?”

“Those that I can. If I can't, then I'll just add them to my schedule this fall. If I can't make up classes, then I guess I'll go back to Kansas.”

Tony snorted before he could stop himself. He looked at Darcy with a grin. “You're from Kansas?”

Darcy glared at him and threw her hands up the air in surrender. “You knew this! You made a crack about being from Kansas two days ago.”

“Huh,” was all Tony said before turning his attention back to Libby. “Tell you what, finish the semester and score in the top ten percent of your class and I'll give you a summer internship working for me, working around your classes if you take them over the summer instead of the fall. You'll answer directly to me. And since Darcy is already here, you can stay here as well.”

Darcy made a choked sound as Libby just stared at Tony with wide shocked eyes. Tony looked between the two Lewis sisters and glanced at Clint, who was giving him an appraising look. “What did I say?”

Clint poked Darcy, getting no reaction. “I think your generous offer broke them.”

“But why?” Libby finally found her voice to say.

“You have what, a little pocket PC?” At her nod, Tony went on, “You got halfway through hacking my system. Not only does that impress me, it impresses JARVIS, who I think is a little worried. I am many things, Miss Lewis, but stupid and blind I am not. You've got talent and skills. It's beneficial to me to cultivate that talent.”

“Tony,” Darcy shook her head, “You don't have to do this.”

“Oh I know that,” Tony responded dismissively. “If I hadn't been impressed at what your sister attempted to do, I'd have her arrested for attempted breaking and entering,” Tony shrugged. “I don't do anything I don't want to. Why don't you take your sister to your room and get her settled for the night. I think she is still a little broken.”

Darcy nudged Libby towards Clint, who understood and took the teenager by the arm and led her to the elevator. Darcy waited until the doors slid close and threw herself at Tony, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. “Thank you!”

Startled, Tony stumbled back a step before catching his balance. He patted Darcy awkwardly on the back. “You’re welcome?”

Darcy pulled back and grinned at him. “I know you did that, in part, for me. So thank you.”

“Hey can't have the maker of the best coffee worried about her little sister,” Tony quipped.

Darcy laughed and leaned up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Can't have that. But seriously, the internship...”

“Will keep her out of trouble,” Tony finished and he flashed Darcy his flashiest smile. “Besides, I want her to hack the system. If she can get through at her age I have some problems that need to be fixed.”

Darcy laughed and shook her head. “That's the Tony I know and love.”

“Better believe it. Now I believe you have a sibling to reassure. She probably thinks I'll have her arrested after all.”

“Nah, she'll be too busy drooling over Clint.” Darcy dismissed Tony's claim.

Tony arched a brow at the undertone in Darcy's voice. “That a problem?”

“Of course not. I drool over him,” Darcy said with a smirk. “I taught my little sister well.”

Tony snorted and pointed a finger at Darcy. “You should just jump him and get it over with. The sexual tension is getting too much for me to live with.”

Darcy sputtered before she could stop herself. Knowing there was no way to take it back, she had no choice but to brazen it out. A little too deliberately she started toward the elevator. “I have no idea what you are talking about, Mr. Stark. Good night.”

“Denial isn't just a river in Egypt!” Tony called as the elevator doors slid shut.

Inside the elevator, Darcy sagged against the wall. She had problems if Tony was noticing her feelings. Watching the numbers illuminate as the elevator carried her up to her floor, she could only pray that it wasn't something Clint had noticed as well. She had enough problems with throwing that in the mix. Besides, with Libby here, she had more important things to focus on than Clint and their issues. For starters, chewing her out for coming back to New York and then talking to her about Uncle Phil. Shit, she thought with feeling, at least she wasn't bored anymore.


	16. Temptation and Restraint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An evening out leads to a heavy dose of temptation. The only question is, can Darcy and Clint resist or will they give into the sparks that fly between them.

_The Previous Summer_

 

“Best. Idea. Ever!” Darcy cried as she tossed back another shot of tequila.

Jane, sitting on her right, giggled and slammed an empty shot glass down on the table. She wasn't a tequila kind of girl, normally, but Darcy's excitement was infectious and when her assistant sat the full shot glass in front of her, Jane couldn't find it in herself to say no. Clint watched the two from Darcy's other side, nursing a beer.

“Are you trying to see how long it takes you to get shit faced?” he asked Darcy, nodding towards the empty shot glass. It was her fourth in an hour.

Darcy grinned at him, already savoring the buzzed feeling floating through her. “Wasn't that the point of tonight?”

“I thought the point was to say good bye,” Jane asked with a quizzical look on her face.

Darcy wrinkled her nose and waved down the bartender and held up three fingers to order three more shots. “Exactly.”

“That makes no sense but it does and I understand it,” Jane confessed and sipped her margarita.

“That means the tequila is working,” Darcy informed her boss. “I'm mad at Coulson.”

She had begged her uncle to join them but he pleaded off with a trip to Santa Fe, citing work reasons. He had patted her on the head and told her to enjoy herself. Hence the four shots of tequila and gin and tonic.

Clint rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. “He's a busy man.”

“But he's leaving!” Darcy protested with a pout as the swarthy bartender slid three more shots of tequila in front of them. “This was supposed to be his party too.”

“I don't think Agent Coulson is a really party person,” Jane said with a giggle. “I just can't see him relaxing enough to let his hair down.”

The thought of her by the books uncle with long hair like an 80s rocker struck Darcy as hilarious. She snorted and giggled as the Phil Coulson in her head donned leather pants, a fringed vest, and rocked out to Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me. When she didn't stop giggling, Jane and Clint exchanged looks over her head.

“Share the joke?” Clint asked.

She bit her lip to try to stop the giggles and leaned into him. “Just...Jane said Coulson and letting his hair down and I had this image of the stoic, always in control, never shaken Agent Phil Coulson headbanging in leather and fringe to Def Leppard.”

Clint choked and had to take a swallow of beer to clear his throat while Darcy and Jane sank against the bar in laughter. “If you tell me that the song was Pour Some Sugar On Me I'm going to hate you forever.”

Darcy pressed her lips together. “I'm hot sticky sweet from head to my feet!” She snorted out another laugh. “All sung by Phil!”

Clint took a moment to picture this and while he was sure he wouldn't be able to shoot straight for weeks since it blinded him, he had to laugh too because it was so not Coulson. Coulson was Simon and Garfunkel, not metal bands from the eighties. His chuckle was low and Darcy could feel the vibrations from where she leaned against his arm.

She fluttered her eyes at him when he looked down at her. “So, do you hate me?”

“Is it possible for anyone to hate you?” he asked with an indulgent smile.

Darcy picked up her shot glass, contemplated for a moment, tossed it back, and said, “Jessica Lynn Granger. Bitch had it in for me because she didn't have tits and I did and the guys would rather drool over me than her and she just couldn't understand because she was the perfect little blonde, blue eyed cheerleader. She hated me for years, but it got worse our junior year when David Neimyer asked me to Homecoming instead of her.” She widened her eyes dramatically. “Star quarterbacks just don't ask the freaky loner girl to Homecoming unless they are getting something at the end of the night. Or at least, that's what little Jessie Lynn said to me after she found out, only she flat out said I was spreading my legs for him.”

“What a bitch,” Jane said with the solidarity of a good friend.

Clint just stared at Darcy. “What did you do?”

“What makes you think I did anything?” Darcy asked indignantly.

“I don't think five years changed you that much,” he said with a grin.

Darcy reached up and patted his cheek affectionately. She missed the quick intake of breath from Clint as she said with a happy sigh, “It's nice you know me so well. After I finished telling her in exact detail why David asked me over her, I punched her in the face. I was suspended and she graciously accepted the homecoming crown with a swollen nose and a black eye on David's arm. Cause he called me a cracked out bitch after finding out that I punched her.”

Jane leaned against Darcy, her head spinning just a little bit. She tended to avoided alcohol so the margarita and two shots she had were quickly getting to her. “Why would he do that? He asked you, not her.” 

Darcy let out a dramatic put upon sigh. “Men are fickle creatures?”

“Try another,” Clint suggested, not buying that excuse.

Darcy threw up her hands and snagged his beer to wet her throat. She had finished her gin and tonic a while ago and hadn't bothered to order another. When she was done, ignoring Clint's dirty look for having the audacity to steal his drink, she put the beer down and said, “Turns out that he was sleeping with Jessica and only asked me to make her jealous. When I found that out, days after Homecoming, I gave him a black eye that matched Jessica's. And thus ended my educational career at the Hope and Faith Christian Academy.”

Jane pounded her hand on the bar. “That rat bastard! You should have punched him in the balls.”

Darcy giggled and wrapped an arm around Jane's shoulder. At the paling of Clint's face, she flashed him a bright smile. “Jane's vicious, isn't she? It's just wonderful?”

“Remind me not to piss you off, Dr. Foster,” Clint said and finished his beer.

Jane flushed prettily. “Well it's true!”

“Amen to that. But I am comforted by the fact that while David may have been a rat bastard and Jessica Lynn was a total cunt, the two of them are stuck together because shortly before graduation he knocked her up and her daddy honored the fine tradition of a shotgun wedding.” Darcy smiled in remembrance. “What a beautiful happy happy day that was.”

“What did you send them?” Clint wanted to know.

Darcy flashed him a wicked smile. “A subscription to the magazine Parenthood, a box of condoms, and a print out of how to use them.” She paused and then added, “Oh I also included the yellow pages dedicated to marriage counseling, you know, as a preventative measure.”

Clint's lips curved up in an approving smile and Darcy lost focus for a moment as she watched them move. Heat warmed places low in her stomach and she swallowed hard before looking away. After a moment's thought, she decided it was the alcohol making her feel all sorts of crazy things.

Jane giggled madly and gave Darcy a thumb's up. “That's amazing. I wish I had your confidence.”

“Oh there was nothing confident about that, Jane. I was pissed as hell. After that little incident I was forever known as “The Girl Who Stole Boyfriends” with the kids my age. Not that I cared too much, mind you, but it made dating hell. Plus, they could have been more original about the nickname. The Girl Who Stole Boyfriends was so Harry Potter.”

Clint snickered at that. “Darcy Lewis, the Voldemort of the Christian Academy.”

Darcy punched him in the shoulder, more amused than anything. “I can't believe you know Harry Potter and not Twilight.”

“Wizards are cooler than vampires,” Clint told her seriously.

Jane started snickering. When Darcy looked at her, Jane waved her hand around wildly. “Clint...as a Hogwarts student.”

Darcy choked and laughed. “Oh man.”

“The robes look comfortable, but too billowy for me. I wouldn't be able to shoot well with all that fabric to get tangled up in,” Clint said with a straight face.

“You wouldn't have a gun or a bow. You'd have a wand.” Darcy leered at him. “Bet you'd have a nice wand.”

“Darcy!” exclaimed Jane, trying to look scandalized but failing as she gave Clint a quick once over.

Darcy saw and pointed at her, bouncing up and down on her bar stool. “Jane Foster! You totally just checked out Agent Barton!”

Jane thought about denying it and then shrugged. “Eh, it's not like he's hard on the eyes. Plus, how can you not notice when he walks around in those tight pants of his? It's like begging to have his ass grabbed or something.”

Darcy's mouth fell open and she just stared at Jane. Never once had she noticed Jane checking out Clint or even paying enough attention to anything other than her research to even realize that Clint wore tight pants. It was like learning a whole new side of Jane.

Clint choked and waved the bartender over to order another beer. “Jesus, women.”

Darcy gave him a sly smile and ordered another shot along with a gin and tonic. “You can't blame us. You walk around in the pants and the sleeveless shirts with the bulging biceps. We aren't nuns. We're going to notice.”

Jane leaned forward to look around Darcy, her eyes locked on Clint's arms. “Just how did you get them so big?”

Darcy, reaching for her shot, fumbled and would have knocked it over if Clint hadn't reached over and covered it with his hand. Instead her hand brushed against his and Darcy almost jumped at the tingles that erupted in her fingertips when they brushed the back of Clint's hand. Startled she jerked her hand away and focused on Jane, hoping Clint wouldn't notice the slight flushing of her face.

Clint was too busy trying to conceal his own reaction. The complete and unexpected surge of lust that rose when Darcy's fingers had brushed his hand pretty much knocked his world on its axis. Those were not the kind of feelings he was allowed to have.

“Jane Foster!”

“What?” Jane asked innocently. “It's an honest question.”

Clint rested a hand on the nape of Darcy's neck, not seeming to notice her discomfort. “Darcy, not everyone has a dirty mind like you.”

Torn between leaning back into the warmth of his hand and jumping away, because my god the tingles, Darcy joked, “They should. It's so much more fun.”

Jane blinked and then realized what Darcy meant. She squealed and smacked Darcy's arm. “Darcy! That is not what I meant.”

“I know. I'm just amazed that you can actually think well enough to ask a question like that,” Darcy said reassuringly. “I'm sure that Agent Barton has a very specialized work out program to get muscles like that. And he probably uses free weights too.”

Jane just looked confused while Clint chuckled next to her. “You are oddly obsessed with my arms, Darcy.”

Darcy, finally finding the willpower to pull away, twisted to look at him and waved a hand at his arms. “They are amazing. The last time I saw muscles like that was Thor!”

Jane sighed and got a dreamy look on her face. “Thor's muscles really are amazing.” She picked up her shot as an afterthought and tossed it back with a grin. She gave Clint and Darcy a sloppy smile. “I'm going to find him, you know. I really am.”

Darcy grinned and gave her a one arm hug “Of course you are.”

“I don't care what the bitch had to say. My research is not cracked. I'm a fucking genius.”

Darcy blinked and exchanged a glance with Clint, who looked a little worried and was glancing around to make sure no one overheard. She was drunk but not so drunk that she forgot the classified nature of their research. Nudging his hand away from her shot, she tossed it back and motioned for him to do the same with his. When he did, she rose and tugged Jane to her feet. Jane swayed and leaned heavily against her. “Come on, time to go home.”

Jane giggled and gave Darcy a wet kiss that was probably aimed for her cheek but landed on her lips. “You are the best intern I've ever had. I'm glad I didn't toss out your application.”

“Well, you might be a little crazy and absentminded, but you've been the best boss ever. I'm glad you didn't throw it out either.” Amused, Darcy waved Clint on when he would have taken Jane from her. “Pay the tab and get a bottle of something for later. She needs to go home but I'm not done drinking.”

She half dragged, half guided Jane out of the only bar in Puente Antiguo. She braced Jane against the wall while they waited on Clint to join them. “Wow, you really are a light weight aren't you?”

“Told you so,” Jane slurred and grinned. “I'm glad you made me do this. It was fun.” There was a brief pause and then, “So you ever going to sleep with Agent Barton?”

Darcy lost her grip on Jane and the scientist sagged and almost hit the ground before Darcy caught her. “Jesus, Jane.”

Jane smiled impishly at Darcy. “You mean you aren't? Because I saw a few looks in there that suggested you wanted to nibble on those arms of his.”

“I don't want to nibble anything,” Darcy mumbled under her breath and prayed that Clint would show up. This was not a conversation she wanted to have with Jane. Especially since she was lying through her teeth. She wouldn't mind a nibble or two, starting at those gorgeous fingers and working her way up.

“Liar,” Jane hissed as Clint walked out and saw them.

Twenty minutes later Darcy was done pouring Jane into bed after making sure the older woman swallowed down an aspirin with a glass of water. She headed up to the roof, just knowing she'd find Clint there. He was and had started a fire in the grill. It burned merrily and he was sitting on one of the lounge chairs, staring into it.

“What's wrong, super agent man?” Darcy asked as she collapsed on the foot of his lounger. “Where's the booze?”

Clint grunted and handed over the bottle of tequila he cajoled out of the bartender. “You are going to hate yourself in the morning.”

“If I didn't then there is no point in drinking,” Darcy said as she twisted off the cap and drank straight from the bottle. She passed it to Clint. “Come on, cowboy up, don't make me drink alone.”

“Like you would care,” Clint teased as he took his own swig from the bottle.

Oh so dangerous to be sitting out here on a clear and warm night with Darcy. Too fucking dangerous given his reactions in the bar just from her touching him. He wasn't sure when tolerating her for Coulson's sake had turned into genuine like. It just sort of happened. He couldn't remember an assignment he enjoyed more and was actually a little put out that it was ending. Not that he'd admit that out loud.

He took another swig and passed the bottle back to Darcy. She let it dangle from her fingertips and nudged his foot with her elbow. “Come on, you looked all pensive when I got here. What's going through that brain of yours?”

Clint shrugged one shoulder. “Nothing really, just thinking about my next assignment.”

“Oh,” Darcy murmured. “That.”

“Don't get all depressed. You'll see Coulson again,” Clint assured, misinterpreting her sadness.

Darcy gave him a thinly disguised look of disgust. “I know that, moron. That's not why I'm sad.”

“Well why then?” Clint asked as she tipped the bottle back for another drink. If they had still been at the bar he'd be alarmed by the rapid consumption of alcohol, but since they were safe at the lab, he could cut her off when it edged towards too much and pour her into bed to sleep it off.

Darcy shoved the bottle at him. “Drink.”

“Bossy.” He took the bottle when she glared and took another swallow. Darcy seemed intent on getting him as drunk as she was. Probably wasn't the wisest decision in the world, but the threat against Jane was neutralized, thanks to his partner. Coulson had told him that earlier before he had to leave town. His fellow agents were on watch and even if he did get drunk he was reasonably sure that he could still protect Darcy and Jane. Being drunk had never thrown off his aim before and it really only takes one bullet.

“I told you, I don't want to drink alone tonight,” Darcy repeated with an eye roll.

Clint quirked one brow and took a pull on the bottle. He offered it to her and when Darcy took it, their fingers touched. She flinched and pulled back her hand, bottle firmly in its grasp, and turned away from him. Confused, Clint watched a she tilted her head back and took a big swing from the bottle. A little worried, he leaned forward and reached around her to take the bottle. “No more for you right now.”

She twisted her head, putting her face way to fucking close to his for comfort, and snapped, “I don't need a sitter to tell me how much I can drink, thank you very much.”

Her breath caressed his lips and Clint had to force himself to lean back as casually as possible. He raised the bottle to his own lips and took another swallow before setting the bottle on the rooftop. He gave her a lazy grin and said, “I'm not telling you how much, just suggesting that you slow down.”

Darcy crossed her arms and gave him a narrowed eye glare. “You took the bottle.”

“Share, remember?”

“Humph,” she huffed. When he smirked, she jabbed a finger in his chest. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?” Clint asked, holding his hands up.

“Stop being all sexy and fuckable. It annoys me,” Darcy snapped. Clint froze but Darcy didn't seem to notice. “You're all sexy arms and chest. And the lips! Don't get me started on the lips. You dress in those pants and the shirts and all I can think about, which I try really hard not to think about because it would be a horrible idea, is that it would be so fucking good to just shove you against a wall and kiss you until you can't think straight or keep your hands off me. And Christ your hands,” she exhaled sharply and shuddered just a little. “The things I imagine your hands doing. It's driving me mad. And now you are leaving and then what will I do? Fuckhead.”

Clint swallowed hard and reached down for the bottle. He needed more tequila after this revelation. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Darcy plowed on. “Not that it would matter if you were staying because as much as I'd like to see your longbow, I won't because of Phil. Because he's, like, your boss, and how fucking weird would it be if you fucked your boss's niece? Not that I'd say no, you know if you really wanted to, because weirdness is just second fiddle to a good hard fuck, dontcha think? Fuck, I'm drunk. Gimme that.”

She snatched the bottle from him and took another sip of what Clint was now going to call talking tequila. She huffed and held out the bottle to him with a little glare. “Well are you going to say anything or just leave me to die of embarrassment?”

“Is it safe to talk?” Clint asked warily, his mind still reeling. He focused on so hard on not thinking of Darcy in any fashion other than strictly platonic that it never once occurred to him that she might think of him the same way he'd been thinking of her in the last two weeks. After hearing her detail just what she wanted to do when seeing him in his standard pants and shirt, his cock was achingly hard in his pants. He shifted a little, praying she wouldn't notice. “I'm not sure what you want me to say.”

“Just tell me I'm being stupid.” At his movement, her eyes drifted downward and widened.

Then her lips, goddamn her lips, curved into what could only be described as a predatory smile and Clint swore under his breath. “Shit.”

“Well, well,” Darcy murmured. “That's a pretty impressive longbow, Archer boy.”

“Shut up,” Clint groaned. “We cannot be having this conversation.”

“Oh that is so true but I really don't give a damn,” Darcy agreed cheerfully, her eyes shifting from his crotch to his face. “Do you?”

The heat in her eyes made him shift again. The tequila haze mingled with the rising lust, making Clint more honest than he wanted to be. “I'm finding that my give a damn is pretty much busted.”

Darcy laughed low in her throat and plucked the bottle from his hand. She took a swig, screwed on the lid, and tossed it to the other lounge chair. Clint didn't protest, couldn't find the strength to protest, when Darcy shifted to straddle his lap. She hadn't bothered to change out of the denim skirt she wore to the bar and it inched up to reveal her creamy thighs.

She sighed and held herself still teasingly above the tent in his pants. He glared at her and ran the tips of his fingertips up her legs, starting at mid-calf and finishing at the hem of her skirt, inches away from the promised land. Darcy sighed again and gave him a sexy half lidded looks. “Your hands feel better than anything my imagination came up with.”

“Darcy,” Clint started and then he had to stop because she lowered her body so that she was straddling his lap completely. The only things between her and his straining cock were his jeans and the thin material of her underwear. “Christ.”

“Mm,” Darcy moaned in agreement as she wiggled her hips just enough to grind against him.

“Fuck,” Clint swore, moving his hands from her thighs to her hips to hold her still. “Stop. Fuck, just stop a minute.”

“Thought your give a damn was busted?” Darcy pouted. At his pained look, she laughed and reached down to run her fingers over the back of his hands and up his arms. She gave a delighted little noise as she traced the curves of his biceps. “Yummy.”

“Killing me. That's what you are doing,” Clint groaned as he tried to remember just why this was a bad idea. “No touching. Five minutes. That's all I ask.”

“Spoilsport,” Darcy grumbled. But she stopped tracing the lines of his arms and settled for leaning forward so that she laid on his chest. “Nice.”

He sighed and counted the many reasons why this was a bad idea in his head as she settled against him. Her body was all curves and softness against the hard planes of his body. He shifted his hands so that they stroked her back. She let out a sigh that was close to purring and snuggled closer. Clint rested his chin on the top of her head and smiled when she made the purring sound again.

“So, bad idea,” he said, trying valiantly to ignore the little shifts in her body that brought their groins in closer contact.

Darcy closed her eyes and saturated herself in the scent of Clint, tequila, and the sharp overtone of arousal. “Seriously bad idea. Phil and S.H.I.E.L.D and all.”

“We can't do this. It's a line we can't cross.”

“I know, I know. But fuck you feel so good, Clint. And I just...” she trailed of and made a choked sound. “It's just torture wanting you this damn much and not being able to do a thing about it.”

“Hey,” Clint said, reaching up to grab her chin to tilt her head back so he could see her face. He almost regretted it because the sleepy sex eyes were a killer. He shifted his hips, rubbing himself against her for just a second. Her quick intake of breath had a triumphant thrill racing through him. “You aren't the only one being tortured.”

“You can't do that,” Darcy muttered.

“You crawled into my lap,” Clint retorted with a laugh. He shifted so that he was sitting up rather than reclining, which pressed his cock more firmly against her center. He stared down at her sex-eyes and pouty lips. “Damn. It's taking about every ounce of my self-control not to kiss you.”

“You really should,” Darcy breathed, tilting her head back and to the side, setting up the perfect angle for a kiss. “I won't smack you or anything.”

“If I kissed you,” Clint said slowly, his eyes completely focused on her lips now. “I don't know if I can stop.”

“Still not hearing the problem,” Darcy confessed as she ran her tongue teasingly over her bottom lip.

“Goddammit,” Clint swore before dipping his head down to capture her lips against his.

Darcy really hadn't thought he'd do it. Here she was sprawled in his lap, the definition of warm and willing, and he was holding back. So when his lips brushed against hers, she was surprised, but only for a moment. She let out a soft moan and gave herself over to the kiss, her lips parting under his and her tongue gliding over his lower lip.

Clint was certain he was going to go to hell. He now had a one way, do not pass go, ticket to hell. He was kissing Coulson's niece and good God the woman could kiss. Her lips were pliant under his, her breath hot and sweet against his mouth. He tangled one hand in her hair, pressing the other against her lower back when her tongue stroked his lower lip. She made a happy noise when his tongue plunged in her mouth recklessly.

After kissing Clint, Darcy could die a happy happy woman. She was completely spoiled for all men now. Clint's tongue stroked hers, dragged over her teeth, flicked the roof of her mouth. Her body was completely limp against his and her hands gripped his shoulders, the nails digging in when Clint pulled back just enough to nip sharply against her bottom lip. Then his tongue was back to sooth away the sharp, fleeting pain.

Clint wasn't sure who pulled back first. He was almost certain that a simple kiss had given him an out of body experience. Darcy's eyes were wide with lust, the pupils completely blown. She wiggled now against his cock with intent, shifting her hips so that every move ground her clit against the hardness under the denim. It wasn't like he was completely innocent either, thrusting up against her. For the first time in years he felt like a horny teenager with no self-control.

“So that was amazing and probably the worst mistake ever,” Darcy said with a little moan as Clint splayed one hand over her stomach. “We should really, really stop.”

“I'm not stopping you from moving,” Clint grunted as he inched her shirt up so he could stroke the soft skin of her stomach.

Darcy laughed and raised her head to brush her lips over Clint's one more time. That led to more tongue tangling and panting. When she broke away, Clint had one hand under her shirt, cupping her breast, fingers tweaking the hard nipple through the scant material of her bra. Her head fell back and Clint's lips left a damp trail down her throat.

“Fuck,” she moaned, sliding one hand into his hair, raking his scalp with her nails when he nipped the skin where throat met shoulders.

Clint grunted against her throat and just pressed his face there for a moment. He had to remember this was a bad idea. It was so hard to think with the sweet scent of Darcy filling his mind, but he managed to throttle back the animalistic urge to just throw her down on the lounge and ravage her body. He cursed and thanked the years of training that had him pulling back and easing Darcy off his lap. 

Darcy whimpered at the loss but understood what he was doing. She was grateful for his self-control because at this point she had none. He could point a finger at her and command her to come in that rough voice of his and she'd do it with a moan and a smile. Edging towards the end of the lounger she wrapped her arms around her waist. “Yeah so. Bad idea and thank you for stopping us before we did something we'd regret.”

“Darcy,” Clint said roughly, waiting until she looked at him. The heat was still in his eyes and she shivered. “I stopped because we are drunk and I'm still technically your bodyguard and I don't fuck the people I'm supposed to protect. Not because I'd regret it.”

“Oh thank god,” Darcy breathed and laughed a little. “I'd only regret it because if Uncle Phil found out he'd be pissed and disappointed in us both, but I'd so be willing to shoulder that burden, such as it was.”

Clint smiled and tried to ignore the flush of her cheeks and how she felt grinding against him. “God, I'd be spending a year in Africa.”

“Don't worry,” Darcy said with a grin. “Phil won't find out from me.” She looked away because if she stared at him any longer she'd be back in his lap and this time she wouldn't let him stop what happened next. She rose quickly and smoothed out her skirt. “I should go inside.”

“Come here,” Clint commanded and stood up.

Darcy shuddered as she stepped up to Clint, her body pressing lightly against his. He cupped her face in his hands and leaned down to brush his lips lightly over hers. When she moaned and leaned into the kiss, he broke away and stepped back. “Go inside. Lock your door.”

“Afraid of losing your self-control?” Darcy asked with a breathy laugh as she stepped over to the access door.

Clint waited until she pulled the door open before he said, “Darcy? Any less self-control and I'd have you shoved against that wall and be inside you before you could blink.”

Her breath whooshed out of her and she stared at him, almost tempted to close the door and tell him she'd like to see him try. Somehow she knew the brazen challenge would be the breaking point.But even as she stared at him and saw the lust in his eyes, she saw the pleading there. Clint wanted her but he didn't want to fuck up his career. The sex would be fantastic but sex was not worth screwing up your life. Having sex with Clint wouldn't affect her life as much as it would his. Even if Phil never found out, Clint would suffer knowing he crossed a line he'd never crossed before. She cared for him too much to put that on his shoulders.

She swallowed and smiled. “I'll just see you tomorrow. Good night, Agent Barton.”

“Good night, Miss Lewis.” 

And just like that they were back to being agent and lab assistant.

When Phil returned two days later, Darcy had to fight tears, knowing that Clint would be leaving with Phil soon. It had been harder than she thought to go back to how things had been before their encounter on the roof, but she was able to blame the upcoming changes in staff on her unstable mood. Phil bought it, Jane bought it, she just wasn't sure Clint did.

At least now she could meet Clint's gaze without fighting the urge to blush. It took only a couple of lies to his questions about that night to convince him that she didn't remember a thing. And as she nibbled on bacon and sucked down coffee while watching him and her uncle talk, she realized that lying about the best almost sex in her life was the best thing for them both.

 


	17. Catalyst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint's focused on an upcoming mission and Darcy is itching to get out of the tower. So she drags Steve Rogers with her and ends up learning something that may shatter her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to say in the last chapter, but chapter sixteen was the last chapter to take place in the past.

**Chapter Seventeen**

 

_Present Time_

 

Clint grunted when Darcy fell on the couch next to him, sprawling out with her feet in his lap. “So. Freaking. Exhausted.”

He poked her foot and said, “When did I become a foot rest?”

“About three seconds ago,” Darcy replied. “I don't think I'm capable of moving ever again.”

“Too bad that doesn't include your mouth,” Libby teased from where she was stretched out on the floor with a Stark tablet in front of her.

Darcy stuck her tongue out at her sister. “Bite me, pipsqueak.” She groaned and rubbed her eyes. “If I have to see the inside of another lab within the next twenty-four hours, I may go on a killing spree.” She fluttered her eyelashes at Clint. “You'd bail me out, wouldn't you?”

“Depends on who you kill,” Clint said absently, his eyes locked on the tablet he held.

She poked him with her foot. “What are you doing?”

“Work.”

“Really?” Darcy drawled. “Color me surprised.”

Clint looked up, flashed a quick smile, and quickly returned his attention back to the tablet. Darcy poked him again and he just sighed. Libby, watching from the floor, giggled and quickly looked down when Clint shot a less than amused look in her direction. Darcy smiled sweetly when he looked back at her. “Whatcha workin on, Bird Boy?”

Clint rapped the tablet against her toes, making Darcy wince and pull away. “It's bad enough Stark calls me that, must you as well?”

“You know, if you didn't react, she wouldn't do it,” Libby informed Clint with all the wisdom of a baby sister. “She only does it because she knows it annoys you. Probably why Mr. Stark does it as well. The two of them are like two year olds on crack. They can find the one thing that annoys you the most and use it until you explode.”

Darcy gave her sister a disgusted look. “I can't believe that my little sister would betray me so. I'm hurt, really hurt.”

Clint grinned at Libby. “I knew I would like having you around. Any other deep dark secrets to share?”

Libby twisted her head to grin at him. “Buy me a beer and I'll tell you everything I know.”

“Uh, no, I don't think so.” Darcy shook her finger at Clint without getting up. “No buying the nineteen year old beer.”

“Mr. Stark let me have some scotch last night,” Libby said idly as she fiddled with whatever it was she was doing on the tablet.

“And I'll kick his ass later,” Darcy replied without blinking. She glared at Clint. “Do not contribute to the corruption of my baby sister.”

“I haven't done anything,” Clint protested, wondering just how this conversation turned on him. He was just trying to read the files Fury sent him, not get in the middle of a sibling spat.

“Yet,” Darcy said with an air of knowledge. “You haven't done anything yet. I'm just being preemptive. You are bound to do something, eventually.”

“Your confidence in me is staggering,” Clint said dryly.

“So what has you all exhausted?” Libby asked, setting her tablet aside for a minute. “I thought you played on Facebook and ate pop tarts all day.”

Clint sniggered as Darcy grabbed one of the throw pillows and tossed it at her sister. “I do not play on Facebook and eat pop tarts.”

Clint just looked at her and she shrugged. “Well not all the time.”

“No seriously,” Libby interjected before the two of them could start up. After being around for a week, Libby thought the two, with their constant bantering and taunts, should just say screw it and sleep together. The sexual tension, and no one would convince her there wasn't any, was giving her a headache. “You've been locked in that lab since I got here. What does that woman have you doing?”

Clint leered at her. “Yeah, what have you and the pretty Dr. Foster been up to?”

“That's just sick,” Darcy told him. Libby made a face and Darcy grinned at her. “This is the price you pay for invading my life.”

“Oh please, I was here first. New York, not here here. You going to answer me or do I have spill more secrets?”

Clint opened his mouth and Darcy tossed another pillow at him. “You, shush. I was working Libby. It's what I'm paid to do.”

“What kind of work?” Libby pressed.

Darcy exchanged a look with Clint and said carefully, “Science stuff. I would say you wouldn't understand but you are so damn smart you probably would.”

“I got the brains in the family,” Libby said to Clint with a grin. “Since I would understand, tell me.”

“Can't. Classified.” Darcy disliked having to keep things from her sister, but until Fury relented and gave her permission to tell Libby the exact details of Jane's research, her lips were sealed and hands were tied. Libby already knew that the people living here were the Avengers and that Jane was working for S.H.I.E.L.D. Beyond that, and the real truth behind Uncle Phil's job, Libby didn't know much more.

“Oh that's such a cop out,” Libby complained.

Darcy shot her sister a dirty look but before she could snap back, Clint interceded. “She's telling the truth. If she tells you more than what she has, it would get her in trouble.”

“That's so not fair,” Libby whined.

Darcy rolled her eyes and shifted so that she was sitting up. She raised her arms over her head and stretched. “Life isn't fair, sis. Get over it. Okay, I am moving past exhaustion and hitting antsy.”

“Oh well that's not good,” Libby said with a sneer. “However will you survive?”

“Stuff it, Libs.” Darcy glanced around. “Where is everyone else?”

“Stark is in his lab, Tasha is doing whatever Tasha wants to do, and Rogers was in the gym last time I checked.” Clint told her and went back to his tablet.

“And Pepper is out of town...again and Jane is sleeping off her three day cruise to crazy land.” Darcy sighed and poked Clint in the shoulder. “I want to go out.”

“Can't,” Clint said, holding up the tablet. “I have work to do. Fury is wanting to send me out on a mission. I'm catching up on mission reports.”

“Boring. Take us out, Barton.”

“Just said I can't.”

“That's so wrong. I've been cooped up in the lab with Jane, who by the way is fucking scary when she gets like that, with breaks to sleep. Not to eat because Jane thinks it's perfectly okay to eat and work. And by eat I mean scarf down pop tarts between brilliant discoveries. We ran out of pop tarts two days ago and she wouldn't let me go get more. So I've had nothing but crackers and Twizzlers for two days.”

“There's fully stocked kitchens on every floor of this tower, I think you'll manage not to starve to death,” Clint said without looking up.

Darcy got a look on her face that Libby recognized. Slowly, carefully as to not draw any attention to herself, Libby rose and made her way towards the door. She was brought up short by the arrival of Steve and knowing a safe haven when she saw one, Libby ducked behind him and peek out from the side.

Steve, startled and confused, lifted his arm to look down and see her better. “What is going on?”

She grinned up at him, keeping one eye on Darcy and Clint. “Darcy wants to go out but Clint says he's too busy and he's getting snarky with her. Darcy doesn't like snark when she's tired and hungry.”

“But there's food here,” Steve said, still not getting it.

Libby rolled her eyes. “Men.”

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by the rise of Darcy's voice. “Fine then you can stay here and just cuddle up to your stupid reports. I am going out. I've not gone anywhere but the shawarma place in the entire time I've been here. And I only went there because Tony dragged me. I'm getting out of this damn tower before I lose my fucking mind!”

“Natasha took you shopping two weeks ago,” Clint reminded her, not looking at all bothered by the angry flush of Darcy's cheeks.

She made a strangled noise in her throat, like a scream she cut off. “That was for tampons you moron!”

Steve flushed and looked away. “Maybe we should go.”

“Maybe we should make popcorn,” Libby suggested. “I haven't seen Darce this wound up since that prick during her freshman year of college banged her and then scrawled her phone number all over the bathroom walls in every single men’s restroom on campus.” 

Steve made a choked sound, unable to believe the actions of some men. “He did what?”

“Yeah,” Libby said conversationally. “He was a real asshat. After Darcy finished with him our uncle had a word or two. I hear the guy is still running.”

“Darcy's uncle sounds like my kind of guy,” Steve said after he considered it for a moment.

Libby flashed him a grin, knowing her uncle's hero worship for Captain America. She figured Uncle Phil must have been over the moon at meeting Captain America. “Oh yeah, you and him would have gotten on great. Oops, she's going for the breakables.”

“You selfish bastard!” Darcy shrieked, reaching for the vase that sat on the side table. “I don't care what Director Fucking Fury told you. He's not the boss of me. If I want to go out, I'll go out.”

“Darcy,” Clint warned. “Don't make me stop you.”

She jutted her chin out. “I'd like to see you try. Prick.”

Clint growled and tried to remember what started this. “Look, relax. We won't go out tonight but I'll get Tasha and we can all go out tomorrow.”

“Fuck. You.” Darcy said slowly and precisely. “I am not waiting.”

“Stop being stubborn.”

“Stop being an asshole. A whole week, Clint. Nothing but equations and mumblings. Jane was freaking crazy. It made me crazy and if I stay here a second longer, I'll break your neck!”

“Darcy,” Clint said patronizing. “You just need sleep.”

Darcy threw her hands up in the air, tilted her head back, and screamed.

“JARVIS told me that Miss Lewis was upset,” Tony said, coming up behind Libby and Steve, making Libby jump. “What's going on?”

“Darcy finally escaped Dr. Foster's lab,” Libby explained. “She wants to go out. Clint says he's too busy to go out. Darcy doesn't like that and now they are fighting. Did you bring popcorn?”

Tony grinned and offered the bag of popcorn to the younger woman. She squealed and grabbed a handful to shove in her mouth. When JARVIS informed him that Darcy was seconds away from pummeling one of his teammates, he took the time to make popcorn, over JARVIS' objections. Any time Darcy lost her temper, especially with Clint, was a good show.

“So, he's refusing and she's insisting she'll just go anyway? Good girl.”

“Tony,” Steve said reproachfully. “It isn't safe for her.”

“Don't you fucking throw that at me!” Clint shouted just as Darcy let the vase fly. He ducked and it barely missed his ear.

“I like that vase,” Tony said as it shattered against the wall.

“She's throwing things. Maybe one of you should stop her.” Libby bit her lip.

“Do I look crazy?” Tony asked her.

Libby grinned at him. “Do you want an honest answer?”

“Little brat,” Tony said fondly.

“Darcy Anne Lewis!”

“Oh throw in my middle name why don't you. What, are you going to ground me next?” Darcy taunted as she looked for something else to throw.

“I swear to God I'm going to throw you out a goddamn window if you throw one more thing at me.” Clint shouted and then jumped to the side to avoid the remote that Darcy sent winging towards his face. “That's it!”

“Guys,” Steve said. He had taken Libby's advice to heart and had moved closer, hands outstretched to show he was unarmed. He would never admit it out loud but the wild, crazy look in Darcy's eye scared him just a little and he sincerely hoped his attempt at a good deed didn't get him brained or worse. “I think that if we sit down and calm down, we can discuss this like rational adults.”

Clint glared at him while Darcy gave him a speculative look. It was starting to make Steve nervous when she turned to Clint. “So you don't want me to go out without someone who is qualified to watch my back?”

“Yes and I'm too damn busy to accommodate you at the moment.” Clint was glad that she finally got it. Then he felt something in his stomach twist as he watched Darcy loop her arm through Steve's and give him that charming smile of hers. A smile that was all sweetness and sugar, a smile that she hadn't given him lately.

“Well then, Captain Rogers can go with me,” Darcy said with a victorious smile directed at Clint.

Clint gaped and Steve flushed. “Ah, Miss Lewis...”

“It's perfect,” Darcy said talking right over Steve while giving Clint a smug look. “You want someone to watch my back. Who is going to mess with me when Captain Rogers is with me?”

“Darcy, I don't think Rogers is wanting to go.”

“Psh,” Darcy dismissed and turned to Steve, who was looking a little panicked. “Relax, Captain, I'm not going to bite. What do you say to a slice of pizza and a movie? There's a double feature of Bogart movies playing downtown.”

Not at all reassured, Steve couldn't stop his interest at seeing a movie from showing on his face. He liked Bogart movies. Seeing that Clint looked a little disgruntled but not entirely against him, Steve looked down at Darcy. “I think it sounds nice.”

“Good,” she cried and gave him a quick hug. Darcy turned back to Clint and raised a brow expectantly. “Well, Agent, does this arrangement meet your approval?”

“Stop being bitchy, Darcy,” Clint sneered. “It isn't attractive.”

Darcy let go of Steve, flipped Clint the bird, and flounced out. Clint watched her go, a cross look on his face. Tony whistled. “Someone's in the dog house.”

“Go screw yourself, Stark,” Clint snapped as he stomped past Libby and Tony. 

Steve watched the two of them go and asked out loud, “Did that fix things or just make them worse?”

“Depends on your point of view, hero boy,” Libby told him. “Darcy will love you forever for playing knight in shining armor. And since Clint wants Darcy, he pretty much hates you right now.”

“What? Huh?” Steve stammered.

Tony and Libby exchanged looks and then hustled Steve off to more private quarters to tell him their theories on Darcy and Clint. Libby figured he should know what he was getting into before taking Darcy out. Tony was just amused as hell and had no interest in going back to his lab.

 

OoOoO

 

Clint was silently fuming as he stalked up the stairs to his rooms. He didn't know who he was more pissed at, himself or Darcy. Probably himself. He shouldn't have lost his temper. But she just pushed and pushed. Added to the stress that Fury was finally relenting and letting him go out on missions, it had just been too much. All he wanted to do was read his mission files. It was a regular mission, the kind he did all the time, but he felt the overwhelming need to prove to Fury and everyone else who doubted him that he wasn't going to betray them.

Then Darcy came along, whining about being stuck here. It wasn't his fault that Jane had a breakthrough and refused to leave the lab until she worked it all out. Or that it took a week for the scientist to do it. It certainly wasn't his fault that until now Darcy had expressed no interest in going out and doing stuff in the city. The logical part of him that was tucked neatly away under the anger told him to stop being an ass, that it was a good thing that Darcy was ready to go out.

But he just couldn't get past his anger to see that just yet. The last week had been so calm, what with Jane and Darcy locked up in the lab. Not seeing Darcy much allowed him the time he needed to reorient himself. After Natasha's scolding the previous week he had been wrestling with himself over telling Darcy the truth. But the longer she remained out of sight, the more Clint convinced himself that it was a good idea keeping it a secret.

Part of the reason he had been so easily riled when normally he could just roll with her moods was seeing her again. All that resolve in not telling her started to crumble when she flopped on the couch next to him. After almost a week of nothing more than a few hellos and assurances that she was still alive, seeing her again caused all sorts of feelings to bubble up. Feelings he had thought were thoroughly suppressed. She had look so adorable all tired and cranky that Clint had to battle back the urge to drag her in his lap and kiss her senseless, a urge he hadn't truly felt since that night in New Mexico when they had been drunk off their asses.

It was crazy to be thinking like that. They were in the same situation they were before and it was even more of a bad idea now than it had been then. So throwing all those emotions in the mix and just not wanting to leave, having Darcy nag and push had been the final straw.

He was starting to cool down by the time he arrived at his rooms. Seeing Libby leaning against his door just made him shake his head. “I don't want to hear it.”

“Tough,” Libby said with a shrug of her shoulder. “You really pissed off my sister. That takes talent. I don't know whether to pity you or admire you.”

“She was being unreasonable,” Clint snapped as he pushed into his room.

Libby followed him and ignored his little growl of warning. “Sure she was. But then, so were you.”

“Excuse me?” Clint demanded as he turned on her. 

Libby arched a brow and gestured at the tablet in her hand. “You telling me that you couldn't take a three hour break to go out?”

“I leave in two days. It's imperative I know what I'm getting into.”

“And you've been going over those files for an entire week. Don't deny it, I've seen you. That tablet has been glued to your damn hand.”

“That's not the point.”

“You want to know what I think?” Libby asked, ignoring him.

“I really don't,” Clint sighed.

Again Libby ignored him and looked around his apartment, sniffing at the lack of decoration and furniture. “First you should do some shopping. It's very bland in here.”

“Thank you for that much needed observation. You can leave now.” Clint stared pointedly at the door and headed to his kitchen for a drink.

Libby flashed a smile at him and followed him while twirling a lock of hair around her finger. She accepted the bottle of water Clint grudgingly handed her and said thoughtfully, “I think you didn't want to take Darcy out because it would be too much like a date, even though I wanted to go too. I think you're too scared to be alone with her in an intimate setting.”

Clint, in the process twisting the top off his own water, froze and almost dropped the water. Libby hid a smile as he slowly and methodically twisted the top off and drank half the bottle in one go. Thirst sated, Clint took his time twisting the top back on and placed it on the counter. When he was sure that he wasn't going to do something stupid like spill his guts to Darcy's little sister or strangle the girl, he said carefully, “I don't think of Darcy that way.”

“Really?” Libby asked, toying with her water bottle. “Is that why you've been lurking around the lab when you weren't glued to the tablet? Why you were always calling or texting her? Or why you looked mad enough to spit nails when Darcy talked Captain Rogers into taking her out? Because either you are just really protective of my sister or extremely adept at lying to yourself.”

Since she was right on both accounts, Clint really didn't know what to say. He hadn't thought anyone had been so aware of what he had been doing in the last week, with checking up on Darcy. So much for being a master assassin if a nineteen year old could see right through him. Unsure of what to say, he said, “Your uncle trusted me to keep her and you, even though your exact relation to Darcy was never mentioned at the time, safe. I'm just doing my job.”

Libby laughed and shook her head. “Oh yeah, lying to yourself. That's real healthy.” She leaned on the counter. “Just what did you think about me?”

Thrown by the change of conversation, Clint frowned, “I don't understand.”

“When I got here last week and you found out that I was Darcy's little sister you said that wasn't what you were thinking,” Libby clarified.

Clint laughed and answered, “Oh, I thought you were Coulson's daughter.”

She stared at him for a moment and then threw her head back and laugh. “Oh man. That is just priceless. Uncle Phil was too obsessed with his job to maintain a steady relationship with any woman, much less knock her up. A far as I know, Phil had only been seriously involved with two women and neither were my mother. My father was a Marine my mother temporarily had a fling with. One night together and I was the result.”

“And I'm assuming your dad isn't part of your life?” Clint asked, ready to keep the focus on Libby and not him.

Libby shrugged and took a drink of her water. “He was, until I was four. He was killed in a helicopter crash. Before that he'd stop by once or twice a year, with presents for me and Darcy. He was never a permanent fixture in our lives so other than the fact that he donated sperm I can't really think of him as my father. Uncle Phil filled that position the best he could.”

Clint shifted so that he was leaning back against the counter and looked at her. “You don't seem to be taking his death as hard as Darcy, if you don't mind me saying.”

Libby sighed and stared down at the bottle in her hands. “You should have seen me after Gran and I were told. It hurts, as much as it hurt when we lost our mom. Only, as much as Phil included me, before and after Mom's death, Darcy was always his favorite. I don't even hate her for it. At least I have vague memories of my dad. Darcy just had Phil.”

“So he was closer to her.”

“Well it fits, don't you think? She's Phil with a smart mouth and attitude. She adjusts, adapts, copes. Not much fazes her and what does she gets over.” Libby smiled at him. “She also has a terrible temper and the ability to hold a grudge for a very long time.”

“Jessica Granger and David Neimyer,” Clint murmured, remembering the story she had shared that night out drinking.

Libby started snickering. “Told you that, did she? Yes. So I suggest, very strongly, that no matter how justified you feel in your stance tonight, that when she returns you do your best to get back on her good side. Maybe I'm seeing things or something, but I really don't think you want her to ignore you.”

“You are seeing things,” Clint agreed. “She's just Coulson's niece to me.”

Libby nodded and started towards the door. “Sure, that's why you get the deer in the headlights look when she touches you. Keep telling yourself that if it helps you to sleep at night. But a bit of advice, if you want her, take her. Otherwise she'll move on and once she does, she won't go back. She never does.”

Libby left without giving him a chance to say anything. Clint stared at the door for a very long time, Libby's words echoing in his head.

 

OoOoO

 

“I really feel like I should thank you again for doing this, Cap,” Darcy said as she and Steve made their way through the crowded streets.

Steve had told her about a little Italian place he had discovered a couple weeks ago and Darcy loved Italian so that was their destination, rather than hunt down the perfect slice of pizza. Then they'd go to the theater and see the movies. After being locked in the lab except the few times she convinced Jane that sleep was necessary, being out was a liberating feeling. She walked close to Steve, but not too close that it would get in his way if someone happened to attack them. The night air was warm against her face as spring started to give way to summer.

Even being pushed and shoved by the crowd didn't put Darcy off. She was just happy to be out so she could stretch her legs. Working in the lab at Avengers Tower was so different than working with Jane in New Mexico. For one thing, if she had to get out and stretch her legs it was a simple matter of walking down the street to the 7-11. Now if she wanted to get away it seemed that she had to secure permission first. Fucking Clint Barton.

Realizing that if she focused on Clint she'd be in a bad mood for the rest of the night, she smiled up at Steve. “So, how has it been going for you? Adjusting?”

“Mostly good. I still expect things to be less vibrant than they are. The city has grown so much from when I lived here before.”

“Time has a way doing that, making things grow.” Darcy bumped him with a shoulder. “But you are getting out more, right Steve?”

Steve smiled at her and nodded. “Yes. I've been spending a lot of time in one of the smaller parks, painting.”

“Oh! You'll have to show me sometime,” Darcy said as Steve stopped in front of a very nondescript restaurant. He held the door open for her and she stepped in and immediately her senses were assaulted with the tang of marinara and the rich scent of coffee. She inhaled. “Oh man I think I found my new favorite place to eat.”

“Their lasagna is just delicious. I had it the first time I was here and I think I forgot my name.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Darcy sighed as she followed Steve to a table in the back. The entire place was set up for romance, but she didn't think Steve noticed that. The lighting was dim, augmented by candles in bottles on each table and fairy lights strung near the ceiling. Red and white checkered tablecloths covered each table, which were small with barely enough room for two.

She hid a grin as Steve held out her chair and she slid into it. “This is beautiful.”

Steve looked around, noticed all the couples, and flushed. “I didn't realize. Gee Darcy, I don't think...I mean...I don't want you to assume...”

Charmed by his fumbling, Darcy shook her head. “No worries, Steve. This is not a date. I just appreciate the atmosphere. It's relaxing, really. And anything beats eating crackers and twizzlers while trying to keep up with Jane in one of her moods.”

“Good.” Steve let out a sigh of relief. “I really wouldn't want to come between you and Agent Barton.”

In the middle of opening her menu, Darcy started and dropped the menu. It clattered against the silverware, making enough noise that other patrons looked at her. She flushed and ducked her head, silently cursing. Steve immediately began apologizing and Darcy waved him off. “What do you mean, come between me and Agent Barton?”

Steve realized he probably wasn't supposed to say that but Tony and Darcy's sister had been quite convincing when they told him something was going on between Darcy and Barton. He hadn't realized it was a forbidden topic. From the way the two had talked it was something everyone knew.

Caught, he glanced down at the menu and said with a vain attempt to distract Darcy. “How do you feel about stuffed mushrooms?”

“Delicious if made right. Steve, what about me and Clint?” Darcy lowered her hands and clasped them over her menu while giving Steve her most intimidating stare. It seemed a little absurd to her to try and intimidate Captain America but she had noticed in time spent with Steve that he was a little awkward with women so hopefully that worked to her advantage.

Steve sighed and grabbed his water glass and took a deep drink. He really hated going into a situation not knowing all the details. Tony and Libby could have told him that Darcy and Clint weren't at the point where they wanted the relationship public. He'd have to think of a way to get them back.

“Well, Tony and your sister told me that the two of you were involved and that super soldier or not, I should watch my back when walking alone in hallways,” Steve offered with a weak smile.

Darcy stared at him for a second and let out a strangled sound that sounded like a cross between a scream and a growl. “I am going to kill them. Slowly and with dull spoons.” At Steve's alarmed expression, she sighed. “Steve, Clint and I are not involved in any way except a very good friendship that is a bit rocky right now. That's all.”

“Oh,” Steve said slowly. “Then why would Tony and Libby believe otherwise?”

“Because both of them are busybodies who like to see things that aren't there,” Darcy replied smartly and picked up her menu. “Let's say we order and just not talk about anyone back home. Tell me about your painting and how you got started with it. No offense, but you don't really strike me as the painting kind.”

Steve nearly let out a sigh of relief at the crisis neatly avoided and agreed. For the next hour and a half they lingered over their dinner, making small talk that led to long debates and discussions. After learning that Steve had yet to make a trip to the many museums in town, Darcy promised she'd do some research and they'd wrangle everyone into going with them and making a day out of it. Steve promised to help her with her self-defense lessons with Natasha and to show her how to paint.

Feeling very full and lazy, Darcy insisted on paying half the tab when they finally finished eating. The tiramasu she cajoled Steve into sharing with her had probably been a mistake. Gorging on heavy pasta before going to a two movie marathon was probably another mistake. But damned if she could bring herself to care. After bickering over who would leave the tip, Darcy, feeling very relaxed, hooked her arm through Steve's and let him guide her out and on to the street.

Steve flagged down a cab to take them to the movie theater. Darcy was grateful, it just wasn't possible to walk to the theater after a huge meal like that. She leaned back in the backseat of the cab and thought about undoing the button to her jeans. Realizing it would just scandalize Steve, she settled for giving a very happy grunt of contentment.

“Best meal ever. And that's saying a lot since my Gran makes the best fried chicken in the world.”

“I'm glad you liked it,” Steve said with a grin after giving their destination to the cabbie. “I have to say, it's nice to see you so relaxed.”

“Trust me, it feels nice. Jane is awesome and everything but when she gets an idea she can be relentless. I have no clue how she does it,” Darcy answered while digging her phone out of pocket to check for messages from her sister. There was one text, in which Libby requested either a second hand ass grab of Steve's bodacious backside or a picture. Either would do. Snickering, she sent back a text to her sister telling her to do her own ass grabbing. Darcy would probably feel guilty later if Libby actually did it, but right now she was too full to care.

Steve nodded. “She's very impressive. I can see why Thor likes her, though I never did get a chance to talk with Thor about his experience on Earth before, what with trying to get information about Loki and trying to find Agent Barton.”

Darcy, about to tell Steve about Thor and Jane cooking breakfast together and looking completely natural doing it, paused at his last words. “I'm sorry, trying to find Agent Barton?”

Steve, looking out the window to see if he recognized any of the buildings, nodded and said without thinking, “Yes, you know, when Loki had him under his mind control.”

Darcy felt her heart stop and for a single moment all she could think was 'what the fucking hell?' as Steve's words sank in. Silence hung between them like a thick blanket and it was only when she saw the oh shit look on Steve's face did she realize what Steve had just revealed. It was like taking a sledgehammer to the face.

This was the big secret. This is what Clint had been keeping from her, only Steve assumed she knew. In all the scenarios she had concocted over what Clint was hiding, him being under the control of Loki was never one of them. He was Clint and it just never crossed her mind that something like that could happen to him. She didn't know it was possible, but now that she thought about it, it made perfect sense. It also explained Dr. Selvig and his need to get away. God she had been so stupid.

“Steve,” Darcy started but she couldn't finish.

“I am so sorry, I thought you knew,” Steve said, taking her hand in his and squeezing it.

Darcy shook her head blindly, still trying to understand why Clint would hide this from her. It just didn't make sense. Why would he want to hide something like that? It explained so much, why he was so touchy and standoffish, but it didn't explain why he flat out avoided her. Unless...no...her mind refused to believe that thought. No way.

She looked at Steve, his face blurring with the tears that burned her eyes. “Steve...did Clint have anything to do with the attack that got Agent Coulson killed? And please,” she squeezed his hand, “just tell me the truth. I need to know.”

Steve hesitated just an instant but the tears in Darcy's eyes made it impossible to lie to her and he cursed Clint silently for inadvertently putting him in this position. He sighed and nodded. “It was Agent Barton's knowledge that allowed for the attack to happen. But, Darcy, he wasn't himself. It isn't his fault.”

Darcy just nodded and turned to stare out the window of the cab as it stopped in traffic. She wasn't sure what she was feeling. Hurt, disappointment, grief, and yes, right there bubbling up under it all was the anger. She swallowed to get control of herself and let out a deep breath. Then she turned to Steve, her face a blank mask. “Steve, I think I'd like to go home now, if that's alright. I'm not feeling up to a movie now after all.”

Not knowing what to do, Steve just nodded and leaned forward to talk to the cabbie. The cabbie cursed but Darcy ignored it, focusing on the anger. She wanted to get home and then, then she'd have a nice long chat with Agent Barton.


	18. Explosion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy confronts Clint.

**Chapter Eighteen**

 

Darcy tapped her fingers against her stomach as she rode the elevator up in silence. In the thirty minute drive back to the tower, thank you traffic, she had not spoken. After his first few attempts at trying to get her to talk, Steve gave up on conversation. He wasn't quite sure why Darcy was so upset, from the way she was acting it went far beyond Barton not telling her. Since Darcy was never this quiet Steve could only worry about just what she was going to do.

The only words she had spoken since he had spilled the beans were to ask JARVIS were Agent Barton was. Learning that he was in the living room with Tony, Natasha, Jane, and her sister didn't seem to deter Darcy one bit. Steve feared that she was going to make this confrontation a very public one.

The elevator slid open and in one last ditch effort to stop Darcy from doing something she might regret, Steve grabbed her arm. Or rather he tried. Darcy twisted away from him and walked out of the elevator. Biting back a groan, Steve rushed after her, entering the room at her back.

Darcy had used the time in the cab to collect herself. She was so beyond pissed that she was surprised her eyes weren't glowing demonic red. The hurt, disappointment, and fresh grief were buried under anger and insult. Her hands, which she had tucked into her pockets after exiting the elevator, were literally shaking with her rage.

She intended on walking into the living room and asking Clint to join her. She had planned on being calm and collected, planned on acting like a mature adult. But the moment she saw Clint sitting on the couch next to her sister, laughing and joking with them, his oh so important tablet nowhere in sight, Darcy lost what little calm she had left.

It was Steve who got everyone's attention when he hissed her name, breaking through the silence. She ignored him and her eyes latched on to Clint. Every fiber of her being wanted to lunge forward and wrap her hands around his throat and squeeze, but some part of her held her back. Probably the part that realized attacking a master assassin was a bad idea. Especially when his partner sat just a couple feet away.

Clint watched Darcy and Steve enter the living room. He had only been there ten minutes himself, Natasha having dragged him out of his nest. She apparently had gotten the whole story from Tony and rather than lecture him, she was punishing him by making him socialize. She really could be an evil bitch. So he went with her, settling in next to Libby, who did her best to distract him from the fact that Darcy was out with Steve.

Which was just ridiculous for him to obsess over. He knew that Steve wasn't Darcy's type. He was too much of a good boy for her. She was in no way attracted to him, other than finding him to be one piece of hot eye candy. And he couldn't see Steve doing anything to give Darcy the impression that he was attracted to her. For one, he was too much of a gentleman, for another Darcy was way too outspoken for Steve. She'd break him in a week or less.

So why he was obsessing over the not date, he didn't know. Well he did but he didn't want to think about that. He had no claim on Darcy and couldn't get pissed just because she went out like she said she wanted to. If he hadn't been a stubborn ass, intent on avoiding any situation that resembled a date, it could have been him out with Darcy. He was very annoyed that Libby, who after being here just a week, already saw things he didn't want to be seen.

So when JARVIS first announced the return of Steve and Darcy, Clint paid very little attention to the conversations around him. He kept glancing at the elevator, waiting for Darcy to show up. JARVIS had informed them that she asked for his whereabouts but wouldn't say anything else. So he was curious. Seeing Steve trying to stop Darcy had been a surprise, which was multiplied by confusion with the way Steve hissed her name.

Steve caught his eye over Darcy's shoulder and mouthed 'I'm sorry'. A sentiment that was in direct contrast with the set look on his face that Clint swiftly realized was anger. Feeling something tighten in his stomach, something big was going to happen, he shifted in his seat. It hadn't slipped his notice that Darcy had not once taken her eyes off him since entering the room.

He half rose, worried that something had happened while they were gone. “Darcy, is something wrong?”

The sound of Clint's voice broke Darcy out of her stupor. Upon seeing Clint, the anger had surged forward and after she had beaten it back, Darcy just stared at him, trying to see why he would hide something so big from her. She had already drawn her conclusions, confirmed by Steve, but still. Seeing him, knowing what she did now, Darcy couldn't help but to feel a little broken and wondered if she was ever right to trust him.

Realizing that Clint was waiting for an answer, Darcy blinked and tilted her head. When she spoke, her voice was a bit distant, as if she wasn't all together there. “You could say that, yeah.”

“What happened? Did someone attack you?” Clint demanded, coming completely off the couch. Conversation around them stopped and all eyes were locked on Darcy.

She shook her head slowly and said carefully, aware that it would just take one wrong word for her to lose it completely. “I've been trying to figure out what I ever did to make you distrust me so much, that's all.”

“Huh?” was all Clint could think of to say.

Natasha caught on quicker than he did, recognizing that broken look in Darcy's eyes. She exchanged a quick glance with Steve, asking a silent question. Steve nodded once and Natasha closed her eyes in weary resignation. If she hadn’t felt like Clint had brought this on himself she'd step in. Seeing Tony and Libby rising from where they sat, she caught their eyes and shook her head once. This wasn't something that they could help with, Clint was essentially on his own.

“Well put, Agent,” Darcy said tightly. “I just don't know what I did to make you think you couldn't trust me. Or to make you doubt that I wouldn't understand. I mean, it's not like anything I've learned about you so far has scared me away. So I just don't understand where you were coming from.”

“Darcy, what on earth are you talking about?” Clint asked as he tried to figure out what she meant. She just stared at him, her eyes full of emotion. Then he looked at Steve, saw the guilt and defeat in his eyes and Clint just knew. Somehow, and he didn't really have to guess how, Steve had told Darcy what had happened to him when Loki was on Earth.

“Oh shit,” Clint cursed.

Darcy laughed, a harsh sound that was so unlike her that it clued the others in on the fact that something big was happening. She shook her head and glared at Clint. “Yeah, oh shit. Did you really think I wouldn't find out? That you could keep it from me? Tell me something, Agent Barton, did you ever plan to tell me the truth?”

“What is she talking about? Did Barton cheat on her? Cause I can kick his ass,” Tony said as he looked between Darcy and Clint.

“Stark, shut up,” hissed Natasha.

Darcy spared Tony a single glance. “I'm talking about the fact that Clint and apparently every single one of you, save my sister, thought it would be an excellent idea to keep the fact that Clint had a little episode where he was controlled by Loki.”

“Oh,” Tony said with a hitch in his voice as he sat back down. “That.”

“Yes, that,” Darcy said blandly and she looked back at Clint. “Well?”

“I was going to tell you,” Clint started, shifting on his feet, uncomfortable with all the eyes glued to him. “Darcy, can we go somewhere private to talk about this?”

“Oh now you want private? When it didn't bother you at all to have everyone keep the truth from me? Knowing everything you know? I don't fucking think so.” She waved her arm to indicate everyone else in the room. “They knew so don't you think they deserve a front row seat?”

“I think that this is something we should be discussing together, not for an audience.”

“They aren't just an audience, Clint. They are your teammates, your friends, and they did what any teammate should do, they kept your dirty little secret. You should be proud.”

Jane got up and walked over to Darcy, flinching when the other woman stepped away from her. “Darcy.”

“Don't, Jane. You, you I can understand why you didn't tell me. It wasn't just Agent Barton, it was Dr. Selvig too, right, and you couldn't tell me without breaking a promise to him.” Darcy held up a hand to stop Jane. She gestured at Tony and Natasha. “But them? They don't have an excuse.”

Tony looked at Natasha, unsure of what to say and hoping the redhead would have an answer. Natasha just looked at him and shrugged one shoulder. She couldn't really argue with Darcy since the younger woman was right. Tony still wasn't sure why it was such a big deal that Clint's episode as Loki's butt monkey be kept from Darcy, but looking between the two of them now, he had a feeling he was finally going to find out.

“One of them didn't,” Clint muttered with a glare at Steve.

Darcy stiffened and jabbed a finger at Clint before he could say another word. “Don't you even dare try to blame Steve. He didn't know I was in the dark. I've questioned Agent Romanoff and Tony but never him because it just wasn't right to put him in a position of choosing between a teammate and a friend.”

“But it's okay to put Tash and Stark in that position?” Clint shot back.

Darcy raised a brow and shrugged. “I knew that, given who they are, it wouldn't be such a big deal for them, had they chosen to tell me. But they didn't. Steve is just too damn nice and honorable. Asking him is like putting him between a rock and a hard place and frankly, I have too much respect for him to put him in that kind of position, so I left it alone. Besides, he thought you'd already told me. He let it slip and then when I asked one question and asked for the truth, he told me. He didn't do a damn thing wrong. You did. How could you?”

“It was for your own good,” Clint answered without thinking.

All around him, everyone winced and Libby muttered, confused about what was going on but worried for her sister at the same time, under her breath, “Er! Wrong answer.”

Darcy's nostrils flared at his response and she took one step forward. “My own good? Who gave you the right to decide whether or not something is for my own good? I'm not a child, Agent Barton, and I don't need that kind of protection.”

“Darcy you don't understand.”

“Don't you even fucking dare,” Darcy hissed. She took another step forward so that she was closer to Clint, unsure of what she was going to do. “Don't tell me I don't understand because I think I do. You blame yourself for his death. You think it's your fault because it was you who revealed everything to Loki. How am I doing so far?”

“Pretty damn good,” Clint mumbled and he hunched his shoulders when Darcy's glare intensified. If it wasn't for the pure pain in Darcy's voice and on her face, he would have felt like a child being scolded by the school principal. But seeing the pain she was in, he felt much worse than words could ever describe.

“How about this, since I seem to be on a roll,” Darcy continued, moving forward two more steps until she was just mere inches from Clint, staring up in his face. Her control was shattering and she could feel the tears threatening to fall. “You thought that if I knew the whole truth I would blame you.”

It wasn't a question but Clint, after a moment's hesitation, nodded. “Yes.”

Darcy closed her eyes and fought against the insult that rushed over her. She had prayed that she had been wrong, that there had been other reasons. Learning that it was a pure selfish reason, that just shattered her. She slammed her arms into Clint's chest and shoved him back with enough force that he stumbled back two steps before he caught himself.

Tony shot to his feet. He knew that Darcy wouldn't like being lied to and he hadn't exactly lied to her himself, but he had enabled Clint. He had expected anger, but the intensity of her anger had shocked him. Her getting physical was another shock. He wasn't sure if he should intervene or not.

“Just a second, before you tear into him sweetheart,” Tony said, ignoring Natasha's warning look. Darcy gave him a look that had Tony Stark reconsidering getting involved for just a second. But since he was Tony and he just couldn't not involve himself, he flashed her a small smile and asked, “Just why exactly are you pissed at Barton? I mean, yeah he lied and that's bad, but why did he have to lie to you?”

“You mean you haven't figured it out?” Darcy asked, genuinely surprised. She had really expected Tony to discover her relationship to Phil Coulson weeks before. She just thought he had and never said anything because he respected her grief.

“Figured what out?” Tony asked.

Darcy looked at Libby, who shrugged. It wasn't Libby's business whether Darcy wanted to share the familial tie they shared with Phil. He was Darcy's real uncle and her adoptive one. It was Darcy's place to share the news.

Darcy looked back at Clint while answering Tony. “Clint didn't want me to know because during the attack, Phil Coulson was killed.”

“Yeah and?”

“For someone so smart you can be really dumb,” Libby muttered out the corner of her mouth.

“He feels guilty about Phil. He was scared that if I learned he had a part to play in Phil's death, even though it was Loki who killed him, I'd hate him.” Darcy crossed her arms and glared at Clint. “Agent Barton is a fucking idiot.”

“Wait, why would he care how you felt about Agent Coulson's death?” This came from Steve, not Tony. He had been following along and wasn't so much confused as he was shocked. The only reason his mind could come up with was that Darcy was Phil's daughter or something.

Tony jerked a finger at Steve. “Yeah...what he said.”

Darcy let out an impatient sigh. “Because Agent Phil Coulson was my uncle.” Her eyes narrowed and she shoved Clint again. “Agent Barton knew that.”

“Darcy,” Clint said, trying to not lose his temper. She had every right to be upset and he didn't blame her. He fucked up, he accepted that. But her shoving him was just pissing him off. “You were upset and grieving. I just didn't think it was the right time to tell you.”

“Yeah, you didn't think. Hell you never considered when it would be the right time to tell me, I'm not an idiot, Clint. You made assumptions. And I honestly don't know what hurts more, the fact that you kept this a secret or that you didn't trust me enough to make my own decisions and trust that they would be the right ones. I never thought I could hurt this much, but it turns out I was wrong. I thought that after that episode with Kilmer last summer I could trust you, but I was wrong there too.”

Her hands trembled and she shoved them in her pocket, not taking her eyes off Clint. “I trusted you with my life. I trusted you with things I've never told anyone. I trusted you with the secret about Phil. And this is how you repay me?”

She shuddered and just shook her head. As much as she wanted to scream at Clint, she just didn't have it in her. Not right now. Not when her head was still reeling with all these churned up emotions. She stared at her hands, not knowing what else to say. No wait, there was something she could say.

“You should know, Agent Barton, that even though you don't trust me, and don't deny it because I will never believe anything you say again, I did my best to protect you.” At his confused look, she leaned close until their faces were an inch apart and she whispered in a voice low enough for only him to hear. “New Mexico? I remember _everything_. I only lied because you were so worried about your reputation and career. That's how you protect someone, not what you did.”

She pulled back from him and watched a myriad of emotions play across his face. Surprise. Shock. Regret. Disappointment. Unwilling to be moved by all she saw, Darcy turned away from him, bumped into Jane, accepted her embrace, and just closed her eyes and waited for the tears to fall.

Libby rose and with one dirty look directed at Clint, went to her sister. Wrapping one arm around Darcy's shoulder, she glanced at Clint and said tightly, “Maybe instead of saying whatever stupid thing that is about to come out of your mouth, you should just keep it shut. I think you've done enough damage.”

Clint watched as Jane and Libby led Darcy from the room. He spun on his heel to stare out the window, unwilling to look at any of his teammates. He was already pissed and disappointed in himself, he didn't need to see the same anger and disappointment in their eyes. Not after seeing it in Darcy's before she left.


	19. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Clint deal with the aftermath of their blowout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for not updating as much as I have in the past. I got some stuff going on in my personal life and my posting schedule has slowed down to once a week while I deal with this. Just bear with me and enjoy the story.

**Chapter Nineteen**

 

Darcy stared blankly at the wall across from her as she lay in bed. After Jane and Libby rushed her from the living room she had thought for sure she'd cry. Instead all she could do was stare at the wall like some shell shocked patient. Maybe it was a form of shock. After all it wasn't every day that the person you pretty much trusted the most betrayed you. Surely that was cause for shock.

Libby exchanged a worried look with Jane, biting her lower lip as she stared at her sister. It had been an hour since Darcy's confrontation with Clint and still Darcy hadn't said a word. It was so unlike Darcy that Libby was considering taking her sister to a doctor. This couldn't be healthy. She swept her blonde hair out of her eyes and whispered to Jane, “How long do you think we should give her before getting really worried?”

Jane shook her head, her eyes never leaving Darcy's still form. “I don't know. I've never seen her like this, not even after she got the news about Agent Coulson. This is...”

“Freaky,” Libby finished. She raised her voice, “JARVIS, are her vitals good?”

There was a long pause before the rich English accented voice filled the room. “Miss Lewis' vitals are well within the normal range for a person of her age and build.”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Libby whispered.

“Miss Lewis, Mr. Stark has been inquiring after Miss Lewis,” JARVIS said.

Libby's lips quirked. “JARVIS, I think under these circumstances you can call us by our first names. Otherwise it might get very confusing.”

“Very well, Miss Libby,” JARVIS replied. “What shall I tell Mr. Stark?”

Libby looked at Jane and shrugged. She wasn't sure she wanted any of the Avengers near her sister. She was still hazy on the details of what happened tonight but she did know that they had some part in hurting her sister, even if most of the blame lay on Clint.

Jane spoke when Libby wouldn't, “Tell Mr. Stark that Darcy is fine and just wants to be left alone.”

“As you say, Dr. Foster.”

“Ever get the feeling that our lives are very much a thing out of science fiction?” Libby asked out of nowhere.

Jane snorted and answered, “You've been here a week. Trust me, it gets worse. Or better, depending on how you see it.”

“I fail to see how,” Libby retorted. “Talking AIs, men in metal suits, super advanced technology...sounds like a sci-fi novel to me.”

“Only until it turns into a fantasy novel,” Darcy said softly from the bed.

Libby jumped and rushed over to the bed and sat on the edge, taking Darcy's hand in hers. “Oh thank god I was worried. You are never this quiet. You feeling okay? And what could make it a fantasy novel.”

“I'm fine,” Darcy said with a faint smile at her sister's rapid questions. At Libby and Jane's 'I don't believe you' look, she shrugged. “Well not fine obviously, but I'm not going to go commit ritual suicide if that's what you are worried about.”

“Don't even say that,” Libby hissed and squeezed Darcy's hand until the brunette yelped.

“Mean,” Darcy muttered as she tugged her hand free.

“So was that joke,” Libby retorted hotly.

“You two are so cute together,” Jane said with a smile.

“Ha, we so are,” Libby grinned and poked Darcy. “Not to push or anything, but seriously, what was all that about? Who’s Loki? What's he got to do with Clint and Uncle Phil? And if you tell me it's classified, I'm going to nuke all your Def Leppard CDs.”

“I'm not sure where to start,” Darcy admitted.

“Darcy,” Jane said warningly. “You know you can't-”

Darcy cut her off with a single slash of her hand. “I don't really care right now about what I can't say. She's my sister and deserves to know the truth. I won't treat her like Clint treated me.”

“It isn't the same thing and you know it,” Jane protested.

“Isn't it?” Darcy asked with an arch of her brow. “Clint kept secrets from me to 'protect' me. Am I protecting Libby by not telling her the truth or will keeping her in the dark put her in more danger?”

“Whoa, hold the phone,” Libby exclaimed, holding her hands. “Danger?”

“Is it worth it?” Jane asked Darcy softly.

Darcy looked at her sister, who was giving Jane and Darcy death glares. She tried to imagine what could happen to Libby just by being here, being here with the Avengers and working with Tony. It was incredibly stupid to not tell her everything, especially since Libby had a way of getting in the middle of things without really trying. Fury could be as pissed as he wanted, but Libby was her sister and if it protected her, Darcy would tell her world secrets.

Darcy looked at Jane with resolve in her eyes. “Yes.”

“Okay then,” Jane replied softly. “I'll leave you two to talk. I have something I need to do.”

“Thanks, Jane, you know, for everything,” Darcy whispered.

Jane looked uncomfortable and ran a hand through her hair. “Don't thank me, Darcy. Regardless of what I said to Eric, when I realized that Agent Barton had gone through it too and had no intention of telling you, especially after I found out Agent Coulson was your uncle, I should have told you.”

“Did you know that it was Agent Barton that led the attack that Phil died in?”

Jane shook her head and Darcy smiled reassuringly. “Then you don't have anything to worry about. Clint is to blame here.”

“Are you ever going to forgive him?” Jane asked.

Darcy bit her lip and looked away. “I don't know if I can. It would have been one thing if he had done it to really protect me. And maybe the first couple weeks I could believe that. But he's had plenty of chances to tell me. That he chose to completely ignore it and try to go back to the friendship we had in New Mexico tells me that he had no intention of telling me.”

“I suppose,” Jane said awkwardly. 

“Do you think he was right in not telling me? Am I making a bigger deal out of this than it is?” Darcy asked her boss. At Jane's hesitation, she offered Jane a half grin. “I'm asking because I really do trust your opinion. I think I'm too blind to think about this logically. Too invested.”

Reassured, Jane bit a nail and thought about it. She personally did not approve of Clint's decision; she had believed Darcy would have accepted it without blaming Clint for something he couldn't control. And she had told Clint that, advice he chose to ignore, leading to this mess.

“No, Darcy, I don't think you are overreacting. I know that I told Clint that he was making a mistake. I can understand why he'd be worried, I don't think he has many friends and the two of you are close, which I think is weird but hey, I'm in love with a god. But I think he should have just trusted you and that ultimately he didn't and it's broken whatever bond the two of you have, or had.”

“Thanks, Jane,” Darcy whispered.

Libby, who had been silent until that point, just watching the older women, snapped her fingers to get their attention. “Uh, Jane is in love with a god?”

“Part of that long story I owe you,” Darcy said with a heavy sigh.

“I'll just leave you to that,” Jane said hastily and made her get away.

Libby crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “So spill.”

“Just a second,” Darcy said, sitting up. She had done a lot of thinking after coming to her room. There were things she wanted, no needed to know. Things that only a few people would know. She wasn't ready to talk to Clint and she wasn't sure if Natasha would speak to her, being close to Clint and all that. No way in hell she was going to go ask Director Fury questions. But there were ways of finding out what she needed. She just needed to get a hold of the files S.H.I.E.L.D had on Loki and all the events before and leading up to the Battle of New York.

Now one way of getting them would be to ask Libby. She hated that her sister made it a hobby to hack into high security agencies and other places. It was just too risky. But as much as she hated it, she had to admit that her sister was good, very good. The fact that Tony was willing to take her on as an intern spoke volumes. But hacking S.H.I.E.L.D was different than hacking Tony's system. For one, S.H.I.E.L.D had more security layers than the damn White House, or at least it seemed that way sometimes. While she didn't doubt Libby could do it, if Libby was caught it would mean a lot of trouble. The kind of trouble that being Phil Coulson's niece wouldn't get her out of.

But there was someone else who could get her the files. She just didn't know if she trusted him. Tony had quickly become Darcy's favorite Avenger after Clint. It was easy to forget that he was worth billions or was Iron Man. He was just fun to be around and had no problems bantering with her. In fact, he was the only one who willingly traded barbs with her and never took offense to whatever she said. She knew for a fact that he was fond of her, which is just one reason why he hired on her sister. But it hurt to think that all that closeness was worth nothing when it came to telling her the truth when she flat out asked him what he knew. On one hand she couldn't blame him because Clint was his teammate and when you went into fights with only each other to watch your backs, you had to trust them. But on the other hand, well Darcy supposed she just expected more.

_“You always disappoint yourself when you expect more than you should.”_

The words echoed in her head, a piece of advice Phil had given her after her very first break up after her mother's death. The guy had, in retrospect, been an asshole. But at the time Darcy had clung to him, needing something steady in her life. When he eventually cheated on her, Darcy had been devastated and swore off men. When she called up Phil to sob over it, he had let her and then told her that. It was advice she had taken to heart and probably what made the lies told by Clint and the others so much harder to take. She had let them in. She expected them to be like Phil and she only had herself to blame.

Still, she had no way of knowing if Tony would help her if she didn't ask. And if he did, then Libby could put her skills to work. With Libby watching her, Darcy said out loud, “JARVIS, you there?”

“Yes Miss Darcy. Do you require anything?” came JARVIS' immediate reply.

“Yes. I need all reports that Mr. Stark has on the Loki incident.” Darcy ignored Libby's questioning look.

“Those are classified files and I'm afraid you don't have the classification to access those files, Miss Darcy.” JARVIS almost seemed upset that he couldn't comply with her request.

“I figured,” Darcy admitted. “Pass my request on to Mr. Stark, JARVIS. He can get them for me. Just tell him, if he asks, that I need to know. He'll understand. I hope.”

“Yes, I believe he will. I will pass it along and should he approve I shall transfer the files to your secure tablet, Miss Darcy. Will there be anything else?”

Hating herself for asking but unable to stop herself, Darcy stared at her hands and asked in a soft voice, “What is Agent Barton doing?”

There was a long pause and Libby shook her head at her, probably thinking that Darcy was being an idiot. Before her sister could say anything, JARVIS said, “Agent Barton is alone on the roof. Agent Romanoff is keeping watch from within the stairwell. When I questioned her after not locating Agent Barton within the tower, she said to tell you that she'd keep watch over Agent Barton and make sure he didn't do anything stupid.”

Darcy's lips twitched at Natasha's message. She really loved that woman even though Natasha still scared the ever loving crap out of her. “Thank you, JARVIS. That will be all. My sister and I do not wish to be disturbed unless stated otherwise.”

“I shall pass along the request. Captain Rogers seems particularly worried about you.”

“I knew I liked him,” Libby murmured.

Shooting her sister an amused look, Darcy said, “Tell Captain Rogers that I don't blame him for anything. And thank him for the lovely dinner. It was the best part of this evening.”

“Very well, Miss Darcy. If you require anything else, do not hesitate to ask. I shall shut down all but emergency programs within this room until eight AM in the morning, if that suits you?”

“Thank you, JARVIS.”

The room fell silent and Libby stared at her sister for several long minutes before saying, “So, gonna fill me in or do I have to torture it out of you?”

“Well it all started last summer in New Mexico,” Darcy started and then spent the next several hours filling her sister in on all the shenanigans she had been getting herself into since taking the internship with Jane. In the middle of her recital, her tablet had beeped and a quick check revealed that Tony had sent her the files she requested. She felt a rush of gratitude to the man but put it aside to finish talking to Libby.

 

OoOoO

 

For the first time since Loki, Clint felt like he had lost his way. It had been so important to him after being released from Loki's hold that he take back control in his life. You never appreciated free will until it was snatched away from you. Going to battle Loki's army had been one way to take back control. And even though he initially didn't want the assignment to watch over Jane and Darcy, once he accepted it, he focused all his attention to it. Even trying to work out a solution to his issues so that Darcy didn't leave had been about control. Trying to forget his problems and acting like nothing had happened, that had been something he could control. Of course, it had backfired.

Looking Darcy in the eyes after she finally discovered the truth was harder than looking Natasha in the eyes after she told him that Phil Coulson had been killed by Loki. In a way, learning about Coulson's death had been easier than staring into the blue eyes of a woman he respected and cared for. Hearing her admit that she believed she was wrong to ever trust him was a feeling that he associated with having one's heart ripped out. This emptiness he was feeling was worse than what he felt immediately following his release from Loki's control. Something he never imagined possible.

He had made his escape to the roof mere minutes after Darcy, Jane, and Libby left. He ignored the glares from Steve and Tony and the concerned gaze of Natasha as he slipped past them. He said nothing. There was nothing they could say or do that would make him feel better or worse than he already did. He realized he had fucked up, he didn't need them to tell him that.

In a way it was a relief that Darcy knew. Not the way she found out and he was having problems believing that Steve had just let it slip, but that was another story. But now that she knew it was a weight off his shoulders. He felt disgusted with himself for feeling relieved when it was clear that Darcy was feeling betrayed. A sentiment that he couldn't argue against. He had betrayed her. He had been selfish. Too bad these self realizations came at such a high price.

Alone on the roof, he avoided the lounge chairs that he and Darcy used during their late night chat sessions. Instead he walked over to the other side of the roof and just stared out, not really seeing anything. He wasn't even aware of the passage of time, even though he knew at some point Natasha had come out, saw him, and left. He knew without having to check that she was waiting inside the stairwell, giving him his space but having his back at the same time. He both appreciated it and resented it. He wasn't ready to talk to Natasha, not when she had been telling him to tell Darcy the entire time.

Thinking past the issue of lying to her, he focused on the one other thing she had revealed. More than anything else she had said, Darcy had completely staggered him with one simple statement: I remember _everything_. There was only one thing she could be referring to and he had simply been too stunned to respond. Especially after she admitted to lying to protect him and his job.

Who did that? Who hid something like that night just to protect one person? She didn't have to, he wouldn't expect her to. He had felt a profound amount of relief when she claimed not to remember much after leaving the bar. Guilt too since they had made out like horny teenagers. Her not remembering had made him feel like he had taken advantage of her drunken state. It hadn't been easy but he made himself remember that just because she didn't remember didn't mean he had taken advantage of her, that she had made that first move.

There had also been regret since Clint considered that night one of the best in his life. Kinda hard not to considering the sparks that had flown between them. In fact, he hadn't been with another woman since that night, which really should have told him something. All in all, he felt like the world's biggest idiot. Knowledge that she knew, that she hadn't forgotten as she previously claimed, created a stir of emotions he really had no right to be feeling. He had to forget those feelings because right now it didn't matter that she remembered, what mattered is that he fix what he broke. His belief that Darcy's trust was more important than telling the truth and risk losing that trust, his need to keep her trust, that had been his downfall. Because of his rabid desire to cling to that trust, he had broken it.

Now he had no idea how to deal with it. His first instinct was to go to Darcy, to try and explain, to beg for forgiveness, to demand she tell him exactly what she remembered. Of course that last would be a torture all on its own. Since going to her wasn't an option, he wasn't stupid enough to think it was right now, Clint just stayed on the roof, using the silence and solitude to castigate himself.

He had no idea how many hours went by before he heard the creak of the door that led to the roof. Silence followed that one sound. Despite his dark mood, Clint had to smile a little when he felt Natasha's presence behind him. He didn't bother to turn and look at her, he just said, “If you came out here to rip me a new asshole, don't bother. I'm doing just fine on my own.” 

“Why would I when your own guilt is better than anything I could do or say?” Natasha asked blandly as she moved from behind him to stand next to him.

It always amazed him how Natasha could say fuck you without actually saying fuck you. It was a tone she used that took the most complex sentence and reduced it to two words. You really had to know her to hear it, but after so many years of working together, there wasn't much about Natasha that Clint didn't know and vice versa. It was one reason why so many people, after seeing them together, thought they were hitting the sheets.

“See that's what I like about you, Tasha, you're all sympathy,” Clint said without any inflection.

He felt more than saw Natasha shrug. “I give sympathy where it is warranted.”

“And I don't deserve it,” Clint finished for her. “Can't say I disagree. I fucked up.”

“This is news to you?” Natasha questioned.

“Shut up,” Clint said without any feeling. Why he expected Tasha to be on his side, he didn't know. He knew better to expect that from her when she flat out told him he was making a mistake. Natasha didn't suffer fools and considered Clint to be the biggest fool she knew at the moment.

“Why? Because you don't want to hear it? You know me better than that, Clint.” Natasha grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. He could have broken the hold but didn't. She stared into his eyes for several minutes then nodded. “Good, I see you realize that this is something that will not be easy to fix.”

“If it was easy to fix it wouldn't mean so much,” Clint muttered as she let him go. “I don't know what to do.”

“Do nothing,” Natasha said simply. “Darcy will come to you when she's ready and not before. You already fucked up once by not trusting her, don't make the same mistake twice.”

He scrubbed a hand over his chin, feeling the stubble there, and frowned. “It isn't that simple, Tash.”

“Yes, Clint, it is,” Natasha shot back forcefully. “She needs time to come to terms with what has happened and what it means. It will be harder for her than you because it was her trust that was betrayed. Everything she said? It was all true and you know it.”

Clint shook his head and turned away. “I have to talk to her, Natasha. About stuff that isn't even related to what happened with Loki and me lying.”

Natasha gazed at him for a minute, studying his profile. There was a tenseness to Clint that didn't come from Darcy's accusations. It was something else that had gotten under his skin. And Clint didn't like having things under his skin. He preferred to deal with his problems head on, usually with an arrow through an eye. She pursed her lips as she remembered that moment when Darcy had leaned in and whispered something to Clint that had made him go pale for just a split second.

“Ah,” Natasha said as if she had just discovered the Holy Grail. “She told you that she remembered that night in New Mexico.”

Clint did a double take and just gaped at her, not caring how idiotic he looked. It shouldn't have surprised him, Natasha had the uncanny ability of discovering the truth. “How do you know that?”

She raised one brow, as if asking why he would doubt her. She reached up and patted his cheek, putting a little extra force into it so it stung. “Clint, did you forget that you told me what happened that night? And maybe you are an oblivious idiot, but I am not. I've seen how Darcy looks at you when she thinks no one is looking. She looks at your ass like a starving lion culling a gazelle from the herd. A woman doesn't look at a man with that kind of intensity if she hasn't already had a taste of him.”

Clint opened his mouth and then closed it. He closed his eyes and sighed. Now he felt even more like an idiot. He was trained to notice things. It was what he was good at. Yet he had completely missed that. Either he was losing his touch or when it came to Darcy he might as well be blind.

“Makes you feel old, doesn't it? That a twenty-two year old can fool you like that?” Natasha had a childlike glee in her voice and it made Clint want to smack her.

Clint gave her a dirty look. “You are enjoying this way too much.”

“Life has been pretty boring. It's been entertaining watching the two of you dance around each other like lovestruck puppies and not even realize it.” She gave him a wicked grin. “I think Tony has a bet going on when the two of you hit the sheets. Of course,” she drawled with a reproachful gleam in her eyes, “that is probably called off due to recent developments.”

“Only you could call fucking up so bad I might as well bend over and take it hard up the ass a recent development like it was just another mission report.”

“Without lube,” Natasha added with a not so nice chuckle.

Clint put his hand on her face and shoved her back a step. “I don't even know why I like you. Maybe I should have killed you.”

Knowing him well enough to know that he didn't mean a single word, Natasha just laughed. “Just think of how boring your life would be without me.”

“If that's a veiled reference to Budapest, I'm thinking boring would be a good thing.”

“Don't lie, you enjoyed Budapest.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Tash.” Clint sighed and leaned against the railing and stared down, his eyes picking up the tiny forms of people scurrying below, even this late at night. “Do you think it's possible she'll forgive me?”

“Yes,” Natasha answered quickly and simply. When Clint looked at her for more, she rolled her eyes. “What, do you think it is going to be easy? Please, a woman like Darcy will forgive but it will take time and work. Just, stay away from her until she's ready to come to you. It may be tomorrow, it may be next week, or it may be months. But it will happen. That girl has too big of a heart to hate you forever. She...” 

When Natasha trailed off, Clint looked at her questioningly. “She what?”

Natasha hesitated and said slowly, “Cares for you. More than she probably likes right at this moment so that will work against you. But she cares so she will forgive.”

“And if she doesn't?” Clint dreaded the answer. He knew it but he wanted to hear it from someone else. Had to hear it from someone else.

Natasha looked a little lost. She knew what he wanted to hear, but she cared about Clint too. She didn't want to be the one who crushed him. But there was no one else he would ask, no one else he trusted more. It was one of the downsides of having a partner she liked and loved. Finally she sighed and said what he wanted to hear. “Then that is something you'll have to carry with you for the rest of your life.”

“Perfect,” Clint muttered.

“You have no one to blame but yourself,” Natasha scolded. “Next time, listen to me.”

That made Clint snort with a choked laugh. “I'll keep that in mind.”

“Do that,” Natasha ordered regally. “You'll save yourself heartache.”

Clint wrapped an arm around Natasha and held her close, taking comfort from her presence. Yeah, his partner and best friend may be disappointed in him, but she'd never turn her back on him.


	20. Limbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after the big blow up and Clint and Darcy try and figure out what to do next.

**Chapter Twenty**

 

Clint wondered when he had to start traveling with an escort. With the way that Natasha neatly included herself into his visit with Fury on the helicarrier one could begin to think that she didn't trust him. It wasn't like he was going to do anything stupid. He'd gotten over that the night before. He figured he'd already used up his lifetime supply of stupid.

They arrived with little fanfare. Natasha had been making trips like this in the last month; for Clint it was his first time back since receiving his babysitting assignment from Fury. He set the quinjet down gently and shut it down. Natasha wasted no time in leaving and he had to wonder if she knew what he was going to do and had gone to warn Fury. It was very possible but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was going to do it anyway.

After he had run through his post flight check, Clint left the jet. Natasha was nowhere to be seen. The deck crew held themselves back as Clint stood at the bottom of the ramp. He didn't know if they held back as to not get in his way or if they were scared of him. Since before Loki he had been a pretty approachable guy, neither option sat right with him. Scowling, Clint shoved his hands in his pockets and headed inside to the bridge. Once he had cleared the area around the quinjet he could hear the deck crew swarm it.

Scowl fixed firmly in place, he stalked through the corridors and into the bridge. The moment he crossed the threshold the quiet murmur that was typical for the bridge vanished. Nobody was speaking and everyone was staring at him. Now he was starting to remember why he either met with Fury in the city or spoke to him over the phone. His face settled into a blank mask, revealing nothing of what he was really feeling. Which was...disappointment. He had expected to see judgment, but as he gazed at the many faces, he saw a lot of pity and relief.

Meeting and catching Maria Hill's eye, he jerked his head towards the conference table. Clint had never been fond of Hill and she never really warmed up to him. Which was just fine, Clint wasn't the sort who just had to get along with everyone he worked with. And he almost never had to interact with Hill, who was so by the book that it made his head hurt just to look at her sometimes. Now that Coulson was gone, Fury had been interacting with Clint, Natasha, and the other Avengers left on Earth himself. Clint had a feeling that once things settled down, that would change. He could only cross his fingers that Hill wasn't made the new Avengers handler.

Still, Clint had a very neutral relationship with Hill. They didn't bother each other and everything was good. But, looking at the disgust on Hill's face, Clint realized that had changed. He had talked to Natasha, who had told him that Hill had not approved of Fury bringing in the Avengers to deal with Loki, though Hill had admitted to the Council that it had been for the best. Looking at Hill as she walked over, Clint couldn't decide if the disgust she didn't bother to hide was directed at him for being an Avenger or for the part he played on the helicarrier attack.

“Agent Hill,” he said as she stopped the bare minimum of distance away from him.

“Agent Barton. We weren't expecting you or Agent Romanoff today,” Hill said with censure, as if he should have scheduled an appointment.

Knowing it would piss her off, he gave her a cocky grin. Screw being neutral if she was going to be openly hostile. “Well you know how it can be. We had a free moment and decided to swing by the old homestead.”

“Lovely,” Hill sneered. “Was there a reason for this particular visit or were you just bored?”

Clint scratched his chin and shrugged. “Well now that you mention it...is Director Fury on board?”

“He is,” Hill said warily.

“Well then, that was all I needed to know. Have a wonderful day, Agent Hill.”

“He's busy,” Hill said quickly, stepping in front of him as Clint moved to leave.

Clint gave her a flat look that scared most people. Hill didn't even blink. She had balls of steel, he had to give her that. “Agent Hill, have you been promoted to Director Fury's social secretary? Do you keep his calendar in a handy file on your phone? Can I see?”

Her blue eyes narrowed to thin slits. As she opened her mouth, probably to blast him, Fury's voice boomed from behind him. “Agent Barton, my office. Now.”

Clint mock saluted Hill. “See ya, Agent.”

Leaving her grumbling, probably plotting his death, Clint turned on his heel and marched over to Fury. He didn't even blink when he saw Natasha standing behind Fury. Fury watched him approach with hard eyes and when Clint stopped in front of him, he said, “Do I need to hang a sign on the door that says 'Do not taunt the agents'?”

Clint bit back his first response, which was 'Only if you think it would help' and said instead, “No, sir.”

“That's what I thought.” Fury didn't say anything else, just turned on his heel and walked to his office.

Clint followed, glaring at Natasha as she fell in step beside him. She didn't even have the grace to look apologetic. Natasha closed the door to Fury's office after they stepped in. She took a position along the wall as Clint stood at attention in front of Fury's desk.

Fury stood behind his desk and just stared at Clint. Taking that as permission to speak, Clint said flatly, “Requesting to be pulled from my current assignment, Director.”

Fury pursed his lips and pulled out his chair to sit. Once seated, he steepled his hands under his chin. “Why would I do that, Agent?”

Fighting the urge to look at Natasha, Clint said shortly, “I've been compromised.”

Natasha made a quiet noise of protest that she cut off when Fury gave her one hard look. Fury then looked back to Clint and said one word. “Explain?”

Clint lifted one shoulder and let it fall. “Darcy Lewis.”

Fury's one eye narrowed and he tapped one finger against his desk. “Are you trying to be difficult, Agent?”

“No, Director,” Clint answered promptly.

Natasha smothered a snort against her arm.

Clint shot her one dirty look and then at Fury's demanding look, expanded on his statement. “I screwed up, sir. She wants nothing to do with me.”

Again Natasha made a sound of dissent and this time when Fury looked at her, she said, “Agent Romanoff, you disagree?”

“Only in part,” Natasha answered. “Barton screwed up, no doubt about that. And while Miss Lewis may be extremely pissed at him for the moment, I wouldn't go as far as saying she doesn't want him around.”

“Oh?” Fury said in a tone that turned the simple statement into a question.

“She's very fond of him and very hurt by what she sees as a betrayal. And honestly, she isn't wrong about it being a betrayal. She was, during Agent Barton's time in New Mexico, very close to him and fond of him. That fondness hadn't diminished between Barton's departure in New Mexico and her arrival in New York.”

“So what, the girl has a crush on him?” Fury asked with all the inflection of someone who didn’t give a damn.

Clint choked and Natasha helpfully pounded on his back until he could breathe again. Clint was sure it was going to leave bruises. “Sir, that isn't what...I mean...”

“Stop stammering and explain before I lose patience.”

“Sir, as one of the few people who knew that Agent Coulson was her uncle, Miss Lewis became attached to me. Agent Coulson assured her she could trust me. I didn't tell her about Loki and actively kept it from her. She found out and made it quite clear that the trust she had in me is gone. Therefore I don't think it wise to keep me in charge of her and Dr. Foster's protection. Dr. Foster depends on Miss Lewis despite Miss Lewis' obvious lack of knowledge in her field. Having me there as a constant reminder of my betrayal would be, in my opinion, extremely detrimental in Dr. Foster's research.”

Clint tucked his hands behind his back in the rest position once he finished speaking. He could feel the hot glare from Natasha behind him. He could only imagine what she was thinking of doing to him once she got him alone.

“Agent Romanoff, do you agree?”

“No,” Natasha answered flatly. “Miss Lewis has a quick temper. I don't see this being resolved quickly, but she won't hold a grudge or let her personal feelings interfere with the work she does. Agent Barton is once again underestimating the woman and if he should be removed, it should be because he doubts himself, not because Miss Lewis has negative feelings towards him at this time.”

“That is rather harsh of you, Agent Romanoff,” Fury commented quietly, watching the banked fury in Clint's eyes.

Natasha shrugged. “He is my partner, it's my job to watch his back. Since he's clearly trying to sabotage himself, I must stop it.”

“Self sabotage is the hardest to prevent.”

“Give me an hour alone with him in the gym and I can fix it,” Natasha said with an evil smirk directed at Clint.

Clint curled his fingers into fists and said, “Director, with all due respect, I am not comfortable with this assignment anymore.”

“There is little in this life that makes a person comfortable. I cannot accommodate everyone.” Fury glanced down at the multiple files on his desk and selected one. He held it up so that both agents could see the file name. “I believe you have an assignment and leave in two days?” At Clint's nod he continued, “You'll be gone a week. That should give Miss Lewis time to calm down and if there does seem to be a continuing problem when you return we'll readdress the issue. Dismissed.”

Clint nodded tightly and left without saying a word to Natasha. He headed straight to the quinjet and sat there in the cockpit, silently steaming as he waited for Natasha. She made him wait almost twenty minutes before she appeared and settled in next to him silently. Probably tattling to Fury, Clint thought with a viciousness that surprised him as he ran the pre-flight.

They were in the air ten minutes before Natasha broke the silence. “It is for your own good.”

Clint snarled. “Fuck you, Tasha.”

Natasha looked at him and raised one eyebrow. “Now you know how Darcy felt when you told her it was for her own good last night.”

“Awfully bitchy way to go about making a point,” Clint muttered. Natasha said nothing and silenced reigned all the way back to Avengers Tower.

 

OoOoO

 

Tony found Darcy in a small room just down the hall from an empty lab that would one day be manned by Dr. Banner. Its original purpose was to be a mediation room for Banner. Darcy had discovered it two days after Libby's arrival and told no one that she knew it was there. As far as she knew, only Tony, Pepper, and Jane knew about Banner's lab being on this floor. So it was the perfect hiding place.

Unless, Darcy thought with a sigh, the person tracking you down knew it was there. Tony came into the room, looked around, and his gaze settled on Darcy, who was curled up on one of the plush cushions in a corner. He walked over and sat, back against the wall, a foot away from her.

“Your sister is worried,” Tony said when it became clear Darcy wasn't going to say anything.

Darcy ran a finger over the tablet she had carried around with her all day. It was the secure tablet Tony had given her to use for her own notes on Jane's research. Truthfully she used it more to check her email and Facebook than to take her own notes. She had yet to open the files Tony sent her the night before. Now that she had them, she wasn't sure she wanted to read them though they contained everything she wanted to know.

“She'll get over it,” Darcy said when it became apparent that Tony wasn't going to leave. “What do you want?”

Tony gestured at the tablet. “Read it yet?”

“No,” came the one word answer.

Tony nodded as if he had expected it. He looked around the room and gave a little shudder. It was so sparse and bland and he felt like the walls were closing in on him the longer he sat there. He had no idea how Darcy, who loved to be surrounded by stuff, could deal with being surrounded by nothing but white walls and white cushions. 

“Are you going to read it?”

Darcy gave him a withering look. “No, I just wanted highly classified information in the hopes that I'd get caught and sent to wherever S.H.I.E.L.D holds its captives.”

“Last time I checked it was a little containment room that with a press of a button became a falling death trap,” Tony said with all the flair of stating they were going to Vegas for the weekend.

“Huh,” Darcy said, not expecting that. “That doesn't sound pleasant at all.”

“Ask Thor when we get him back. I hear he took a trip down it...” Tony trailed off and looked away.

Darcy stared at her hands and finished for him, “After Loki killed Uncle Phil.”

Tony winced and realized that Pepper was right. He never knew when to keep his mouth shut. Still there was no taking it back, so he shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Why what? Why did Loki try to break Thor into a thousand little pieces or why did Loki kill Phil?”

“The last,” Darcy answered with a sigh. “I know why Loki doesn't like Thor. Hell not the first time he tried to kill his brother. But why Phil?”

“Because Agent Coulson was doing his job,” Tony answered simply. “It wouldn't have mattered who showed up, Loki would have killed anyone who got in his way to what he thought was his rightful place in this world.” Tony paused and added, “Loki, in case you haven't figured it out kid, was one crazy ass mother fucker with more daddy issues than me.”

A giggle escaped Darcy before she could stop herself. Tony had spent an entire evening once listing his father's flaws, much to Steve's dismay. Steve had not been amused but nothing Steve said swayed Tony's opinion on his father, though Tony freely admitted that his father wasn't the cold hearted bastard he always assumed.

Tony's lips quirked in a smile. “See that I missed.” He sighed, “Kiddo, we got problems.”

“Tony, that's what I like about you, you're the master of the understatement,” Darcy drawled. She looked back at the tablet so she wasn't meeting Tony's gaze and asked the single question that had been burning a hole in her throat since Tony entered. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“First off, it wasn't my story to tell, Darcy. While I may not be the most reliable person in the world, I do understand the concept of being on a team. Turns out I'm not as against it as I thought I would be.”

“And second?” Darcy prompted when Tony trailed off.

Tony blinked and looked at her, looking as if he had forgotten she was there for a second. “Oh! Second, I didn't know that Coulson was your uncle. If I had known. that might have changed things.” He quieted and just when Darcy thought he was finished, he said, “I liked Coulson but I'm discovering that there was more to him than the 'always had a handle on things' persona he projected. Like, his name was Phil. Now that was a newsflash to me.”

Darcy smiled faintly. “He talked about you, a lot. Or at least when he was able to finally tell me some of what he did. Up until the Thor incident last summer, I didn't even know he worked for S.H.I.E.L.D.” She laughed and let her head hang forward. “My only uncle and I didn't even know he worked for the government.”

“Hey, classified stuff,” Tony reminded her. “It hurts everyone involved, even when they don't know they are involved.” His eyes brightened, “Ooh maybe you can answer something for me. Cellist in Portland? True or false?”

Darcy just stared at Tony, not believing he was actually asking her that. Lucky for him she knew the answer. “False. It was his cover for coming to visit me, Libby, and Gran. He told me, after I found out the truth, that the one thing he lived in fear of was that someone would discover that he had a family and use us against him and S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Tony opened his mouth and then closed it. He had no idea what he could say that would take the pain from Darcy's eyes. Instead he said quietly, “He really did die a hero. It took all of us to take down Loki, but Phil went after him with just one big ass fucking gun. I didn't realize how much I respected him until he was gone.”

Darcy's throat clogged and she sniffed as tears stung her eyes. “I knew.”

The quiet admission made Tony shift and do one thing he swore he would never do. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulled her tight against his side, and held her as she cried. Crying women meant an automatic retreat for Tony. But since he felt responsible for this bout of crying he couldn't just leave. If Pepper found out he made Darcy cry and didn't offer comfort, she'd castrate him.

He waited until Darcy's cries died down to sniffs and tapped the tablet with his finger. “I don't know what you are hoping to find in these files, but I can tell you that Agent Barton wasn't in control of himself when he gave Loki the information on the helicarrier or when he attacked it. Anything that happened, especially Coulson's death, that's all on Loki. And we can only pray that those alien gods are kicking his ass six ways to Sunday.”

Darcy pulled away from Tony and swiped at her eyes. When she could see without the blurriness, she said, “I don't hate him for what happened when he was under Loki's control. I hate him because he didn't trust me. I thought he did.”

“Did you think that because you love him or because Phil told you that you could trust him?” Tony asked quietly.

Without thinking, Darcy answered, “Both.”

Tony just stared at Darcy, not at all surprised by her answer. Darcy, however, was incredibly surprised and Tony would later swear that he never saw anyone turn so pale in his life. Her face went bone white and for a moment Tony really thought she was going to be sick. Then color flooded her face and she cursed.

“Fuck me sideways! Son of a fucking bitch.” Darcy flung the tablet away from her violently. To his credit Tony only made a small noise of protest as the tablet bounced off the wall opposite them and clattered to the floor. “Goddammit, why do I do this to myself?”

“I take it that this is bad news?” Tony asked lightly as he rose and retrieved the tablet and inspected it. He had a smug flood of pride when he saw it was undamaged. He made good stuff.

Darcy gave Tony the dirtiest glare she could muster. “Does it look like I'm happy?”

“No,” Tony answered cheerfully.

“Bite me,” Darcy grumbled. “Shit. I can't stay here.”

“I'm sorry what?” Tony asked, startled by the change of subject.

Darcy threw her hands in the air and rose to pace. “I obviously can't stay here. Not now. I can't be here...with him...all the fucking time. It would be torture. I'd kill him. And then want to die because I'm the goddamn idiot who fell in love with his stupid ass without even realizing it. If I don't die after killing him for being a complete moron, then I'll be arrested and Tony,” Darcy's face turned to panic and she clutched at his blazer in desperation. “I'm too pretty to go to prison.”

Tony covered her hands with his and gently disentangled her fingers from his blazer, frowning briefly at the wrinkles. Then he patted her carefully on the head, not knowing how she'd react since Darcy was starting to look a little crazed. “Whoa, settle down, kiddo. Let's not panic.”

“Let's not panic?” Darcy repeated at a shriek. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, at least I don't think I am. I mean, it would be like me to say don't panic but mean panic but I'm pretty sure that this time I really mean don't panic. I'm sure there is a logical solution to this.”

Darcy's mouth fell open and a strangled noise came from her. “I just don't see what Pepper sees in you. Logical solution to love? Is that how you get laid?”

“If I told you how that happened, you'd just be jealous. And want to try it yourself and I don't think you got the chops to pull it off,” Tony leered.

“Disgusting,” Darcy muttered.

Tony grinned and patted himself on the back. Turns out being a letch was good for distractions. “Look, I'm sure this will sort itself out. But maybe...” He paled when Darcy leveled a glare that could melt metal at ten paces at him. He'd seen that look on Natasha and Pepper's faces at one time or another and he had to admit that they could both take lessons from Darcy at perfecting it. He swallowed and said desperately, “Why don't you take a vacation?”

“Huh?” Darcy said eloquently when she remembered how to talk. “A vacation?”

“Yes,” Tony said, seizing the moment at her interest. “Take a couple weeks, visit your grandmother in Nebraska.”

Darcy punched him in the arm. “Kansas you jackass. Are you serious?”

“Yes!” Tony exclaimed. “It's a fantastic idea. Take your sister with you. I'll even let you use my jet to get there and back.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes. “You are being way too generous. Who are you and what have you done with Tony Stark?”

Tony laughed and shrugged. “I like you, I'm very generous with my friends. Plus, I think it would be good for you to get away, having some space to think. Come back with a clearer head on all those...” he hesitated and swallowed hard before finishing, “feelings.”

Darcy choked on her laugh. Only Tony Stark could make something like feelings sound like an infectious disease. “I really don't see how Pepper puts up with you.”

“Practice. She's practically immune to me.” As an afterthought he added, “And I'm pretty sure she loves me, but don't quote me on that.”

“No I'm sure she does too. It's the only way to tolerate you.” 

“You tolerate me,” Tony pointed out with a grin. “Does that mean you love me?

Darcy gave small shrug and dipped her head to hide a smile. “Yeah but we both know how screwed up I am right now.”

“That could hurt, but it doesn't,” Tony said with a smirk.

“Your ego cushions the blow,” Darcy said sagely. “Huh a trip home. I think I could do that.”

“Great! I'll let Pepper know and she can make all the arrangements. You'll go, get some of that stuff, uh what's it called...oh yeah perspective. Then you'll return and things will return to normal.”

Darcy was already shaking her head before he finished and his face fell. “You won't be coming back?”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “No I'll come back. But I want my own apartment.” When Tony looked like he was going to agree, she added, “An apartment not in the tower. I want my own place.”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “I don't like that.”

“You don't have to. But it's what I want. I can't live here with Clint. At least, not right now.” Darcy shrugged. “Even if I didn't go home for a visit, I'd still move out. I can't be here. There's too much conflict and no one here needs that.”

“Still not liking it,” Tony said stubbornly. No way he wanted Darcy living outside the tower. And it wasn't just so she'd be protected. He liked having her around. He didn't have siblings but already Darcy was like the little sister he didn't know he wanted until now.

“Still not caring,” Darcy shot back. She snatched the tablet from his hand. “Now if you will excuse me, I have to talk to my sister and pack. I want to leave tomorrow afternoon.”

“Fine, fine,” Tony said throwing his hands in the air.

Darcy gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. Tony actually looked flustered so she said, “Thank you. Oh,” she paused at the door and looked over her shoulder. “I don't hate you. Or Natasha and Steve. I know you kept your mouth shut because it's what teammates do. I don't hold it against you. I think you are fitting into the team better than anyone expected, especially considering you’re a selfish playboy with more money than you know what to do with.”

“Thanks,” Tony said dryly. “I think.”

Darcy giggled and left, feeling much better than she had when she had hidden. Tony may be full of it and himself most of the time, but when he wasn't trying to blow himself and everyone else up he had some pretty good ideas. A trip home to her Gran with Libby was exactly what she needed. It would be nice to have what was left of her family together, even if Libby only stayed for the weekend. The sound of the jet returning might have dampened her mood but not even the return of Clint was going to spoil this for her. She was smiling as she sought out her sister to tell her the good news.


	21. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy chats with Natasha. Clint chats with Steve. Oh boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this was delayed in going up. I just had a lot going on in my personal life and with my family and I lost track of everything.

**Chapter Twenty-One**

 

Darcy was annoyed. She couldn't find her favorite sweater. Such a trivial thing to be annoyed over but dammit, she loved that sweater. As she stared at the open suitcase on her bed, she tried to remember the last time she wore it. It had been a couple days ago before the Clint fallout, or as she was now calling it in her head BC, and she distinctly remembered wearing it when she had gone to fetch Clint from his room for a game of Halo with Libby and Steve. It had been sweltering in his room so she had stripped it off and tossed it on the couch while she cajoled him into joining them.

“Son of a bitch,” Darcy muttered to herself and nibbled on her thumbnail. She had left it at Clint's and hadn't gotten it back. Great now she'd either have to go down there and get it or convince someone to do it for her.

Walking out of her room, she knocked on Jane's door. As far as she knew, Jane wasn't in the lab. Jane would be the best one to ask to run the rescue mission because at least Jane wouldn't throttle Clint. She hoped. There was no answer at Jane's door. No way was she going to ask Libby because once Libby had heard the full story, she frothed at the mouth just thinking about Clint. Say what you will about her little sister, Libby was as loyal as they came and until Darcy gave the all clear, Libby would turn into a spitting and hissing house cat at the mere mention of Clint.

“JARVIS, is Natasha busy?” Darcy asked into the empty hallway.

“She is in the gym. Awaiting your lesson I believe,” JARVIS replied.

“Shit, forgot about that. Okay thanks.”

“You are welcome, Miss Darcy. Also, Mr. Stark has sent the flight details for you and Miss Libby to your tablet. The jet will leave at 3PM. It will be available for Miss Libby's return Sunday afternoon at her request.”

Darcy smiled and blew the AI a kiss. “You're the best JARVIS.”

If an AI could blush, Darcy was sure JARVIS would. “Thank you, Miss Darcy.”

Darcy couldn't believe how easy it had been to get used to JARVIS' presence. He was an invaluable ally and a great listener. Plus, he was always willing to lend a hand, so to speak, when it came to getting back at Tony for whatever prank the billionaire played. Which, granted, weren't many, but there were some doozies. Like the three days in a row that everyone in the Tower was woken up to their alarms blaring Shoot to Thrill.

Tucking her hands in her pockets, Darcy ducked back into her room to change into her gym clothes. It wouldn't do to keep Natasha waiting. Especially since this would be the first time Darcy saw her after the big blow up last night. Darcy wasn't sure what to expect. Natasha was Clint's best friend but she had seen the disappointment and anger on the other woman's face when Darcy had confronted Clint. She just didn't know if that anger and disappointment was directed at her or Clint, so how she'd react to Darcy now was anyone's guess. Just thinking about it made Darcy nervous.

Natasha was standing in the middle of the mats that they used for their lessons. Though standing wasn't quite accurate. Natasha was bending and flowing into complex positions, her limbs looking as though they were made of rubber. It was the kind of thing that Darcy would never be able to get her body to do and she was jealous. She wasn't sure if it was yoga or something else.

Still, watching Natasha do her thing, Darcy couldn't help saying after Natasha completed one particular move that involved a lot of bending and twisting, “I bet you are fucking mind blowing in bed.”

Natasha flowed back to a standing position and looked at Darcy, who swallowed nervously until Natasha smiled and said, “I've never had any complaints.”

“Anyone who complains about you is just an idiot.”

“Thank you.” Natasha accepted the compliment with a small nod of her head. Then her eyes flicked to the clock on the wall and she frowned. “You're late.”

Darcy winced and moved to join Natasha on the mats. “Yeah, sorry. I honestly didn't mean to be. I just caught up packing and time slipped away from me.”

Natasha's eyes narrowed and she pounced on one word. “Packing?”

Darcy blinked at the sudden intense expression on Natasha's face and had a moment's thought of backing away slowly. “Um, yes?”

“Why?”

“I'm going home?” Darcy offered, feeling like she was treading in dangerous waters.

Natasha threw her hands in the air and began to muttered viciously...in Russian. Darcy watched with wide eyes as the slender woman stalked back and forth, occasionally punctuating an oath with violent hand gestures. When Natasha hit the five minute mark in her rant, Darcy seriously considered asking JARVIS to translate. But then Natasha was whirling on her and a finger was shoved under her nose.

Darcy stumbled back as Natasha almost shouted “You are a stupid girl to let a man run you off like this! He's an idiot! He deserves a cold shoulder, the occasional smack upside the head, and perhaps something slimy in his bed when he's least expecting it. I can beat him up for you, trust me it would be my pleasure. But he does not deserve to live with the fact that he ran you off! And he will think that! He'll be so burdened with the guilt of driving you away that he'll be useless. Then there's you! You would be miserable in the middle of Bumfuck, Kansas. You may not be the smartest person here but you are needed! To abandon everyone just because of a man, that makes you stupid as well as selfish!”

Darcy gaped at Natasha as words utterly failed her. She wanted to interrupt and correct Natasha's assumption but the redhead built up quite the head of steam. When Natasha paused for a breath, Darcy said quickly, “It's just a vacation!”

Natasha, ready to begin the second half of her tirade, paused and blinked. “A vacation?”

Darcy nodded warily. “I'm going home for two weeks, maybe three. Tony thinks, and I agree, that I need a break.”

“A break,” Natasha repeated. “So you'll be back?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Darcy said. She added when Natasha growled, “I'm moving out.”

“Because of Clint.” It was a statement and not a question.

Torn between lying (though she was sure Natasha wouldn't buy it) and telling the truth, Darcy told the truth. “Yes. I don't know how much I trust him anymore. And living here, with him, it's just not good for either of us. He screwed up, Natasha, and I can't forgive him yet. I have no idea when I'll be able to forgive him. He damaged our friendship and I'm just not comfortable living here with him. And it isn't fair to him to have me here constantly as a reminder. He won't ever heal if I am in his space all the time. I'll still work with Jane so it isn't like I'm going to disappear, but when I get back, I am moving out.”

Natasha tilted her head to the side as she considered it. Her temper cooled after learning that Darcy wasn't leaving permanently. That made it easier to look at Darcy moving out objectively. All in all, she couldn't disagree with the younger woman's logic. Hell, Clint was willing to risk Fury's anger to have himself removed from the security detail watching over Foster and Darcy just to stay out of Darcy's way. Natasha's lips quirked in a smile before she could stop herself. The two of them were so willing to protect the other that they did the same thing practically.

“You know, when you smile like that, I think you’re going to go on a killing spree,” Darcy said conversationally.

“This is my amused smile. My killing smile is much more angry, see?.” Natasha smiled again. To Darcy there was no discernible difference.

Darcy nodded while she thought, ' _Do not engage the crazy person_ '. Out loud she said. “Well next time I won't be mistaken.”

“It's always good to tell the difference,” Natasha agreed. “So, moving out?”

Darcy shrugged. “My idea. Tony didn't like it.”

“Tony likes having someone around who will tolerate his bullshit,” Natasha said flatly.

Darcy giggled. “He's like the big brother I wish I had.”

Natasha's face just looked dumbstruck. She just couldn't imagine Tony being anyone's big brother. But then she considered Darcy and Darcy's no nonsense, blunt beyond belief, and quirky personality and decided that Tony and Darcy could possibly be siblings from two different sets of parents. And from what she'd seen of Libby, the younger girl fit right in, making the duo a trio.

“At least someone likes him,” Natasha muttered.

“Don't try that on me. You like him.”

“I do?” Natasha questioned, her tone just a slight bit dangerous.

Nonplussed, Darcy nodded. “If you didn't like him, you'd just kill him.”

“Director Fury frowns upon me killing for no reason. I can't afford to be called in on any more suspicious incidents this year.”

Darcy swallowed and laughed nervously. “Well that explains everything.”

“Does Clint know you are leaving?” Natasha asked with no warning.

Darcy shrugged. “No idea.” Her lips turned up in an innocent smile. “But you can tell him when you go and get my sweater from him.”

“I'm getting your sweater?” Natasha repeated, amused. There weren't many people who were brave enough to ask her to do something so menial and Darcy hadn't even asked.

Darcy nodded and her smile turned into a pout. “If you don't mind, that is? I left it there a couple days ago and I really want it to take with me to wear on the jet. And, Natasha, I can't go myself. So please?”

Natasha pursed her lips and nodded. She happened to agree with Darcy. It wouldn't do either of the good to see each other right now. “Very well. I will get your sweater and let Clint know he has driven you away from us with his idiocy.”

“You told him to tell me, didn't you?” Darcy asked.

Natasha nodded, confirming what she had guessed. “Many times. Not at first since you were grieving, but after you seemed to get better. I told him he was making a mistake. But he is a man and men never listen.”

“Thank you,” Darcy said simply. There wasn't anything else to say. Natasha had said it all. It didn't matter why Natasha pressed Clint to tell Darcy the truth, just that she did. Darcy knew that Natasha wouldn't abandon Clint but she was more than willing to make her partner pay for stupid mistakes.

Natasha shrugged. It wasn't as if she had rescued a puppy or something but you couldn't tell that by the gratitude on Darcy's face. It made Natasha uncomfortable because the last time she saw a look like that it was after she smacked Clint around to break Loki's hold. “Come. Let's work.”

Darcy moved into position but before Natasha could begin the lesson, she said softly, “When I come back, will you tell me about Loki and what happened to Clint?”

Natasha pulled back and considered the younger woman for a moment. She knew exactly why Darcy was asking her and she thought briefly of Clint and his privacy. Then that thought disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. If Darcy was ever going to forgive Clint, something Natasha wished for since Darcy obviously made Clint happy even if Natasha couldn't understand why, then Darcy needed to know the truth. And Darcy would never speak to Clint if she didn't know the truth.

“When you return, we will talk. With vodka.”

“Lots of vodka,” Darcy agreed.

The two shared a smile then got to work with no other words, finally understanding each other a little bit more.

 

OoOoO

 

Clint stared at the door that Natasha had just left through, with Darcy's sweater. He hadn't really wanted to give it up, but the realization that keeping it was kind of stalker-ish had made him relent, not Natasha's 'I'm going to kick your ass' stare. He hated to admit it, but this whole thing with Darcy was fucking with his head more than Loki had. For Christ's sake, he was wanting to cling to an ugly ass sweater just because it reminded him of her. How more fucked up could he get?

A lot, he admitted as he flopped down on his couch. Natasha had come to fetch Darcy's sweater, which said a lot since Natasha was no one's errand boy. He didn't know how she managed it, but Darcy had managed to get under everyone's skin and they all loved her. No, that wasn't right, he knew how, the same way she had gotten under his, just by being herself.

He scrubbed a hand over his face as he thought about what Natasha had told him. Darcy was leaving. That was it. She asked for the sweater, said that Darcy asked her to pick it up for her. When he had asked why Darcy needed it, Natasha had given him a withering look and said that Darcy was leaving and wanted her sweater. No matter how much he pressed, she wouldn't tell him more.

So now he was left wondering why Darcy was leaving. It wasn't that he was too stupid to know it was because of him, he just never considered the possibility that lying to her would be such a betrayal that she'd actually pack up and leave. Not with knowing how much she enjoyed it here. Darcy leaving just didn't make sense. Darcy wasn't the type to run. He figured on a few days of the silent treatment before it got to her and then she'd start the yelling and throwing.

Clint stared at the wall and told himself the idea he had was a bad one. It was in no way, shape, or form a good idea to go find Darcy and demand that she stay. If he did something like that, she was likely to tase his ass before he even opened his mouth. This was the woman who tased a god because he freaked her out. She'd probably skip the taser and grab a gun if Clint tried to approach her right now. No, it would be better to just stay away. Smarter.

Clint was a lot of things but it had already been proven that in the case of Darcy Lewis he wasn't very smart. The night in New Mexico...lying to her. Yeah Clint and Darcy didn't equal smart. Decision made and ignoring the voice in his head that sounded like Natasha that was telling him he was risking more than he was willing to lose, Clint rose and stalked out of his room. He thought about asking JARVIS where Darcy was, but nixed that idea. The AI was strangely fond of both Darcy and Jane. He'd overheard the AI lying to Tony once over something Darcy had done to the billionaire. No way was JARVIS going to help him.

So he put his skills to use. Knowing that if one person saw him trying to find Darcy they'd intervene, Clint took to his favorite way to get around unnoticed: the vents. They were just large enough that he was able to ease his body in and move around without it being too uncomfortable. He checked everywhere. Darcy's room, Jane's room, the multiple living rooms and common areas, the labs, the gym, the kitchen, and the meditation room that Darcy thought no one knew about. She wasn't anywhere to be found.

There could only be one other place she could be. He dropped out of a vent in the living room, surprised to find no one there, and started towards the stairwell. He just knew he'd find her on the roof. He was pulling the door open when a hand slammed into it and shoved it shut. Whirling, one hand going for the gun at his side, Clint met the steady blue eyed gaze of Steve Rogers. Who did not look happy to see Clint heading towards the roof.

“Going somewhere, Agent Barton?” Steve asked in a soft voice.

It occurred to Clint that while Steve may be unassuming and quiet outside of battle situations, he was in no way a pushover. In fact, much like Natasha, there was something dangerous in the soft tone Steve used. Clint refused to be intimated though and met Steve's accusing stare with a flat one of his own. “Thought I'd get some air.”

“Plenty of balconies,” Steve returned flatly.

Clint shrugged and leaned against the door, crossing his arms over his chest. “I do better the higher up I am.”

Steve mirrored him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Maybe later. I want to talk to you.”

Clint didn't even have to ask what about. He'd been expecting this since the night before when Steve had followed Darcy into the living room. He really wanted to be pissed at the super solider for telling Darcy about his Loki problem. But even as he attempted to work up the anger, he just couldn't. It wasn't Steve's fault Clint had lied to Darcy and a part of Clint regretted that the man had gotten in the middle of it.

“There is nothing you could do or say that would punish me,” Clint told Steve quietly.

Steve dipped his head in acknowledgment. “Oh I know that. Believe me, if I thought beating some sense into you would work, I'd drag you by your hair to the gym.”

“Isn't that a little bit much for you, Captain Rogers?”

“Hey, I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. We protect our own.”

“And she's yours?”

“Darcy has done a lot for me. And I am very upset that something I did ended up hurting her. Poor way to return a friendship. I don't like you much right now, Agent Barton.”

“Get in line,” Clint snapped.

“I'm in the front. Right behind Darcy and her sister.”

This was nuts, Clint thought vaguely as Steve glared down at him. This went beyond the Coulson ability to be likeable. It was whole other skill set. Then Clint reminded himself of how Darcy was nice, if maybe a bit snarky, with everyone and did her best to help them and just be there.

He had known that Darcy and Steve were building a strong friendship, bonding over pop culture and movies. It was just not as noticeable as the brother/sister deal she had going on with Tony. Probably because Steve wasn't as vocal and demonstrative as Tony. Still, until now, he had no idea just how close Steve and Darcy had gotten. Must be the movies and popcorn. Or the fact that Darcy didn't fangirl over Steve like so many did. She treated him just like everyone else.

And that was the key, Clint realized. Darcy didn't treat any of the Avengers as if they were something special, someone to be worshiped. She treated each and every one of them like they were just normal people. When you were unable to even go into public without being mobbed or shouted at, being treated like a normal person was worth its weight in gold.

“It was never my intention to hurt her,” Clint offered though he knew it was weak defense.

“No one ever intends on hurting anybody. But you were more concerned with protecting yourself than you were her. That smacks on cowardice, Agent. Something I never thought I'd see from you.” Steve leaned in so that his face was inches from Clint's. “Stay away from her. You hurt her more than you already have and I _will_ drag you to the gym.”

Clint's temper bubbled and tried to break free. He controlled it carefully, keeping his face blank so that Steve wouldn't see the rage he was feeling. He’d had coward tossed in his face so much in the last hours that he was really getting sick of it. He wasn't a coward. One act did not make him a coward. Did it?

Uneasy with the thought, Clint snarled, “Whatever you say, Captain.” 

Shoving past the taller man, Clint gave him no time to react or respond, just stalked out of the room. If one more person warned him away from Darcy, he was going to punch them. He didn't care who it was. That was the problem with living with so many people. They all thought they had a right to get involved in personal matters.

Walking to his room gave Clint the time he needed to calm down. So they were going to make sure that he didn't come near Darcy? Keep him out of sight? That was fine. Let them play their protective big brother and sister routine. He'd just find another way to see her before she left. Because he was going to see her before she left. No way was he going to let her leave without saying his piece. If they didn't like it, well then his teammates could make a line to kick his ass. He wasn't going to be pushed around, not on this. Already planning, Clint headed to bed.


	22. I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As she's leaving for her trip back home, Darcy runs into Clint, literally, and the two of them have a sorta heart to heart that doesn't exactly end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm still alive. I want to apologize for the long delay in updating. Long story short is my life got very hectic and emotional and I just couldn't focus on anything but that. Things are better now and I'm back. Enjoy the chapter.

**Chapter Twenty-two**

 

“You do realize that I'm coming back, right?” Darcy asked Tony as he kept coming up with little reasons why she couldn't leave just yet. Unlike Natasha, who was driving her and Libby to the air strip, Darcy was more amused than annoyed by his obvious delays.

Tony mock glared at her and shoved a small laptop case in her hands. “Yes I do realize that. I just thought of a few things you could use in the middle of nowhere.”

Libby leaned in to look at Tony over her sister's shoulder. “Why do you assume we’re going to the middle of nowhere?”

Tony waved a hand dismissively. “It's Kansas. That's the definition of middle of nowhere.”

“Funny I thought that was Alaska,” Libby quipped, earning a glare from Tony. She ducked behind Darcy and giggled.

Darcy made sure she had a good grip on the case and leaned in to kiss Tony's cheek. “It isn't the middle of nowhere. But if it makes you feel better, I'll call or email or text every day.”

“You do that,” Tony grumbled. “Whose stupid idea was this?”

“Yours,” chorused Darcy, Libby, Jane, and Natasha. Steve, who was standing behind Natasha, just smiled in amusement when Tony flushed.

“Oh. Right. Well, remind me not to have any more stupid ideas,” he muttered.

Natasha let out a soft snort. “If we did that one of us would have to trail behind you twenty-four/seven shooting down ideas.”

Tony looked insulted. “I object. All my ideas are good ideas. Name one stupid idea.”

“Coffeemaker,” Darcy reminded Tony.

“Trying to program the stove to cook by itself,” added Steve.

Tony glared at them and poked Darcy in the side. “Remind me why I don't want you to leave?”

“You love me,” Darcy said simply with a smile.

Tony tilted a hand in front of her in a so-so gesture then grinned and pulled her in for a hug. It was repeated with Libby. When he moved to do the same with Natasha, she gave him one punishing look that had him pulling back. “Now remember, just call if you want to come back before the two weeks are up.”

“Yes, Daddy,” Darcy mocked. She looked at everyone and smiled. “Remember, no wild parties while I'm gone.”

“Damn there goes my kegger idea,” Tony said with a snap of his fingers.

“As if Pepper would let you,” Libby snarked with a smile.

“Okay that's it. Get out of here. I'm tired of you and I'm looking forward to the quiet.” Tony shoved Darcy and Libby towards the elevator.

His remark about the quiet made everyone but him laugh. Like it was the Lewis sisters who made the noise level in the Avengers Tower loud. Just that morning Tony had woken them all up yelling over some experiment with his suit that failed. Darcy was still snickering as they rode the elevator down to the underground garage. Something she hadn’t even known existed until today.

Darcy was standing in front of Natasha and Steve with Libby at her side when the elevator doors slid open with a ding. Too busy talking to her sister, she didn't look when she stepped out. She heard Libby's gasp and Natasha curse just seconds before slamming into something very solid. Stumbling back, she stared wide eyed up at Clint, who was looking at her with equal shock.

It was her first time seeing Clint since that night two days ago. Her tongue seemed glued to the roof of her mouth, no words were forming, even if she wanted to speak. Clint recovered first, giving her an intense stare as he reached for her. Darcy let out a squeak because before Clint's hand could wrap around her arm, Steve was jerking her away by the back of her shirt. Natasha moved smoothly into the now vacant spot in front of Clint, her right hand swinging out and connecting with his nose with an audible crack.

Clint's head snapped back as blood gushed from his nose. He let out a strangled curse and stumbled back even as Darcy yelped, “Natasha! That wasn't necessary!”

“Probably not, but I'm sure I owed him,” Natasha said before turning her attention to her partner. She stared coolly at him, ignoring Darcy's mutters as she struggled against Steve's hold. “Clint, I told you to stay away.”

Clint swore and cupped his nose while giving Natasha a dirty look. “I was.”

His words were garbled by the blood that dripped down his nose. Natasha crossed her arms and glared. “Really? Just appearing as we are leaving is staying away?”

Clint's glare could have formed lasers as he held up a paper bag from the little grocery store down the road. “I went out for fucking ice cream, you crazy bitch. I just got back.”

Natasha leaned forward and peeked in the bag and saw a carton of Rocky Road. She believed him about the ice cream but not about just getting back. Too convenient. She eased back. “Just got back?”

“Literally. Ask JARVIS if you don't believe me. I just scanned myself in through the garage two minutes ago because I walked and going in through the front is hell with all the crazy fans. Stark was a fucking idiot to reveal where the Avengers were staying. Can't go fucking anywhere without being mobbed.” Clint removed his hand slowly but the blood had already clotted. He stared at his bloody hand in disgust and then back to Natasha. “I think you broke it again.”

“Oh don't be a baby, that was a love tap,” Natasha said lightly.

Steve was still standing in front of Darcy, who was just now recovering from the shock of seeing Clint. She was both upset and touched by Natasha and Steve's quick reactions. They were looking out for her which was nice. But at the same time, it was a complete overreaction on their part. Did they really think Clint would do something to her? She may not be fond of him at this very moment but even Darcy knew that Clint wouldn't hurt her.

She moved to peek around Steve, wanting to see Clint, and Libby jerked her back with a quick head shake. Her sister was probably right. Seeing Clint hurt wouldn't help her, it would probably just screw with her head. The last thing she needed was to feel sorry for him, but it was Clint. She couldn't help herself.

“Well now that’s cleared up, we can leave,” Steve said, giving Clint a stare that said 'move'.

Clint barely gave him a second glance as he shifted to look around Steve at Darcy. Steve moved with him. They did this a few times, making the women roll their eyes at the obvious alpha male posturing. Clint glared and snarled at Steve. “What, you think I shouldn't even see her now?”

“I think that Darcy wants to get the airstrip so she can leave and you're preventing that,” Steve replied evenly.

“Darcy can answer for herself,” the woman in question muttered behind Steve's back. Not that she didn't mind his protectiveness but dammit, she was capable of defending herself.

Clint heard her and grinned smugly at Steve. “Well you heard her.”

“Sis,” Libby hissed, grabbing Darcy's arm. “Don't do anything stupid.”

“When have I ever done something stupid?” Darcy asked. At Libby's flat look, she rolled her eyes. “Never mind. Move, Steve. As much as I appreciate it, I don't need a human shield. I'm a big girl and I can use my words, not my fists.”

The last was directed mockingly at Natasha, who merely quirked a brow.

Steve turned his head to look at her. “You sure? Cause I can drag him out of here.”

“It isn't like I can avoid seeing him forever,” Darcy pointed out logically.

Steve frowned, not liking it, but he moved aside. Darcy didn't move but her view of Clint was unobstructed now. Looking past the blood on his face, it was clear as he stared at her just how miserable Clint was. His gaze softened upon seeing her, but there was a lingering sadness and regret in the steel blue of his eyes. She swallowed hard and sternly told herself that she had no business feeling sympathy for him since he had lied to her. But even as she told herself that, she could feel a crack in her resolve just by looking at him.

“Darcy,” Clint said slowly, careful not to move towards her. He shot her self-proclaimed bodyguards a dirty look and said, “I need to talk to you.”

“I'm on my way out,” Darcy replied evenly.

“I heard,” Clint muttered, earning a smug look from Natasha. He flipped her off and turned his attention back to Darcy, who managed to hide her smile at their antics. “Look, just give me five minutes before you leave. That's all I ask.”

Darcy caught her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it as she considered. From the look her sister was giving her it was plain that Libby thought it was a bad idea. So did Steve, who was literally bristling at the mere suggestion of Darcy talking to Clint alone. A quick glance at Natasha showed that Natasha wasn't really that interested in which way Darcy went.

Darcy's eyes shifted back to Clint in time to see the quick flash of pleading before it disappeared. Eventually she'd have to talk to him, she couldn't delude herself into thinking otherwise. And talking to him now didn't mean she had to forgive him. It just meant she was getting that initial first contact out of the way now rather than waiting until later. She could go to Kansas with her mind a little freer instead of obsessing over what she'd say to Clint when she got back.

She sighed. “Okay, but five minutes only.”

“Thank you,” Clint replied softly.

He stepped away several feet, keeping within eyesight of Natasha, Steve, and Libby, but far enough away to give them the semblance of privacy. Before she joined him, Darcy looked at her protectors. “Five minutes, that's all. I'll meet you in the car.”

“We'll stay right here. In case you need us,” Libby corrected.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Clint isn't going to attack me.”

“Humph,” Libby said with a sneer. “Go talk so we can see Gran.”

Darcy exchanged a quick look with Natasha, silently begging the other woman to keep her sister back. Natasha inclined her head and drew Libby next to her and engaged the younger woman in a conversation about a paper Libby had due in one of her classes.

Steve leaned forward and whispered, “You don't have to do this.”

Darcy patted his shoulder, feeling amused that she was reassuring him rather than the other way around. “I think I do. Don't worry.”

“I'll worry.”

“Steve, you can't protect me from everything,” Darcy reprimanded softly. “I'll be fine.”

Steve didn't say anything but settled in a parade rest stance, his eyes locked on the pacing Clint. Darcy struggled not to laugh and walked over to Clint, who stopped his pacing when she came to a halt in front of him.

“Thanks,” Clint repeated.

“Five minutes,” Darcy said as she tapped the watch on her wrist.

Clint's lips thinned but he didn't say anything about her not so subtle time keeping reminder. He also didn't try and touch her again. Now that he was in a position to talk to her, Clint had no idea where to start. An apology seemed so trite at this point. So did trying to explain himself. That left only one thing to talk about.

“You remember New Mexico?” he asked.

Darcy started and stared at him. Of all the things she expected him to say, bringing up New Mexico wasn't one of them. Just hearing a reference to that night by him was enough to make the butterflies in her stomach dance. Logically she knew that this was bound to come up sometime, but she'd honestly thought that next to everything else it would take a backseat.

“That's what you want to talk about?” Darcy almost shrieked.

Clint gave her a one shoulder shrug. “It seemed the safest at this juncture.”

She ground her teeth together. Talking about what they had almost done was safe? Or was this some plot of his to make sure that she left thinking about how he had felt and tasted under her? Not that she could forget since she thought about it at least once, sometimes twice, a day.

Huffing out a breath, Darcy looked anywhere but Clint. “We are so not talking about this.”

“Why didn't you tell me sooner?” Clint demanded hoarsely. “Do you have any idea what it's been like thinking you don't remember? Or how guilty I felt?”

Darcy let out a harsh laugh before she could stop herself and glared at him. “When should I have told you, Clint? After we buried my uncle? While you were being a dick or when things were just awkward between us? I know! I should have told you when you said you wanted to go back to our friendship in New Mexico. I should have asked if that meant you were going to kiss me until it ruined me for all other men?”

Her voice had slowly been rising, garnering the attention of the three people watching them. Biting her tongue, Darcy looked away. Clint tried to ignore that flash of pride at her words. That was not what he should have been focusing on. With difficulty, he pushed that thought away and said, “I don't know when, Darcy, but you did lie to me.”

“Only my lie really did protect you,” Darcy countered hotly. “If anyone found out about that night, you’re the one who would have been at risk, not me. It isn't the same as you lying to me because you were only protecting yourself from accusations you assumed I'd make.” She exhaled and shook her head. “Look this was a mistake. I need to go. The plane is waiting.”

She turned to leave and Clint's hand shot out and grabbed hers. Darcy's hand went for her purse to grab her taser but Clint was faster and he grabbed that hand too. Ignoring the warning calls of Natasha and Steve, he yanked her up against his body. For just a second he let himself absorb the sensation of her soft and curvy body pressed against his hard one.

“That night changed everything and was worth the risk. You shouldn't have lied,” he growled in her ear.

Darcy's heart pounded in her chest and she tried valiantly to ignore the heat of Clint's body soaking into hers. An all too vivid vision of what it had been like the last time they had been in a position like this filled her mind and she almost moaned at the phantom feel of his lips against hers. Then his words sank in and her mind went blank. What had it changed? They had been drunk, it had been drunken foolishness that night, not something more. 

She could hear Steve and Natasha coming at them and she cursed Clint and his impulsiveness and what it was making her do. Since he had her arms captured, Darcy shifted her body so that one leg slipped between his. Clint almost jumped at the motion and stared down at her.

Darcy wet her lips with her tongue, knowing she only had seconds. Clint's eyes zeroed in on her lips and stayed there. When she spoke, her voice was soft and sorrowful. “You shouldn't have lied to me. That's what really changed things, not a make out session on a roof top in New Mexico.”

Then before Clint could say anything, she jerked her leg up and rammed her knee into his groin. She didn't knee him as hard as she could, after all she didn't completely hate him, but she still put enough force behind it that his breath whooshed out, his face turned red, and he released her to stumble back, bent over. His wheezes of pain could be overheard as Natasha and Steve stopped running.

Libby, who hadn't moved, waited a beat and then began to clap slowly. Darcy turned and shot her a murderous look and Libby fell silent. Darcy stared down at Clint, waiting until he stopped the grunts of pain and looked up at her, still clutching his groin. She arched one brow and said, “Next time, don't stop me from grabbing my taser. Don't touch me again, Clint. Not unless I say so.” 

Darcy turned on her heel and stalked back to Steve and Natasha. They fell in step beside her and only Natasha looked over her should to give Clint a sympathetic look. Natasha hadn't expected Darcy to be that cold. All the more reason to like the girl.

Clint, for his part, remained doubled over until the sedan, driven by Natasha, left the garage. Then he let himself sink to the garage floor. Shit, Darcy was fucking ruthless. She'd kneed him with just enough strength to make his teeth hurt and to make him debate if getting a hard on was even possible now. Still, the kick to the balls hurt less than the lack of trust he sensed from her. He hated that and wanted to fix it, he just wasn't sure how. Maybe she should have just ripped his dick off. Surely living dickless was less complicated than the mess he got himself in.


	23. Words of Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy gets some much needed advice before returning to the Tower and shares a last gift from Coulson with Clint.

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

 

“Sweetheart, you need to go back,” Lucille Lewis told her granddaughter. It wasn't that Lucille didn't like having her girls home, but Libby had already come and gone and a week and a half later, she knew it was time for Darcy to go.

Darcy had been remarkably closemouthed about what brought her home. Lucille didn't push her, but before Libby had left, Lucille had asked her youngest granddaughter what was going on. All Libby would tell her was that it had to do with someone Darcy knew in New York and Phil. So Lucille waited patiently for Darcy to come to her, knowing that she would eventually tell her. Still a week and a half was pushing it and her concern warred with her curiosity. All the Lewis women were curious.

Darcy looked up from where she was curled up on the window seat in the den. It had been her grandfather's office when he had been alive and as a small child it was her favorite room to hide in. Usually she didn't spend a lot of time in it since the memories were so strong and heartbreaking. With her mood the way it was, the den was her perfect hideout.

“What, Gran?”

“Whatever drove you here, don't you think it’s time for you to go and fix it?” Lucille asked, moving to sit behind Darcy on the window seat.

Darcy leaned back into the warmth of her grandmother's embrace and sighed. “Probably. But I don't really want to.”

“Running gets you nowhere.” Lucille ran her fingers through Darcy's hair. “Why don't you tell me what happened?”

“Running is safe,” Darcy muttered and sighed. “It kind of deals with that attack on New York.”

“And Phil.”

“Yeah,” Darcy nodded. “And that guy I told you about, from New Mexico. Clint Barton.”

“Ah, the New Mexico guy,” Lucille said knowingly. “Interesting.”

Darcy made a face. “Not really. Just, a lot I can't tell you because, well if I did I'd end up in prison and Gran, we both know with my mouth I wouldn't last a day.” 

“Amen to that, darling.” Lucille rolled her eyes heavenward, wishing not for the first time that both her girls didn't have the mouths they did.

“Ha,” Darcy barked with an eye roll. “Anyway, Clint indirectly had a hand in Phil's death. He wasn't, oh let's say Clint wasn't in control of himself when it happened. Clint was the only person besides his partner and the guy in charge that knew about Phil having a niece and that it was me. That's one reason why we got so close last summer.”

“I'm following you so far. But I do hope, dear, that one day you'll be able to tell me everything.”

“Me too.” Darcy let out a breath. “After Jane went to work at Stark Industries, Mr. Stark opened up his big old skyscraper to the Avengers. Clint is one of the Avengers. Thing is, when I got to New York and during Phil's funeral, Clint was acting weird. And it just got weirder after he was assigned to Jane's protection detail. He just avoided me at all costs. Turns out he had a secret he didn't want me to know about. I had issues with that, but we attempted to work through them because it was making things very uncomfortable.”

“And the secret was his unintentional role in Phil's death?” Lucille guessed.

Darcy nodded. “Yes, but Clint didn't tell me. I found out by accident. I don't think I would have ever been told. That's why I had to come home.”

“Because Clint betrayed your trust.”

“Yeah, pretty much. It hurt to stay there and things were weird because Clint asked everyone not to say anything to me and no one else knew that Phil was my uncle. So things were just weird after it came out. I mean, I can understand why they would choose their teammate, I mean they have to work together and shit.”

“Language.”

“Sorry. But I'd gotten close to all of them in the month since I got to New York and it just stung a little, though I really don't blame them.” Darcy rolled her eyes back as she tilted her head to see her grandma. “It's Clint I'm mad at. I just...”

“You trusted him, both on his own merit and your uncle's words. He kept something that had an effect on you a secret and it messed you up. You're human, Darcy, but so is he.”

“Huh?” Darcy blurted, pulling away from her grandmother to twist and stare at her. “He lied to me! And it wasn't even for my own good. It was for his own good because he just assumed the worst about me. It was like he didn't even know who I was.”

Lucille clucked her tongue at her granddaughter. “Darcy, it sounds like you don't know him either.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Darcy asked, exasperated.

“Why would this man feel like he had to hide something like this?” Lucille asked.

Darcy crossed her arms over her chest and sneered, “Because he didn't trust me.”

“Or maybe, going by what you've told me, people who should trust him looked at him differently. Maybe he has reason to distrust people with this kind of knowledge. I'll grant you that it hurt you, but maybe he had just as much to risk when it came to being hurt.”

Darcy opened her mouth to protest and closed it when Lucille gave her a look that said 'stop and think about what I just said before opening your mouth girl'. She gnawed on her lower lip as she thought about Clint. She couldn't remember the last time he went to S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. In fact, the one time she saw him interact with S.H.I.E.L.D agents outside of Natasha things had been tense. And that was when he had driven her and Jane to the air strip to get on the quinjet that took them to the helicarrier.

She'd been too wrapped up in her own mind to pay attention to it, but now that she thought about it, what Gran said made sense. After coming to the Avengers Tower, Clint didn't exactly make an effort to make reports in person to Fury. At first Darcy just assumed that it was easier, but now that Gran planted the idea in her head, she was starting to realize that Clint avoided in person reports because of how everyone else treated him.

And she supposed she could see, if not understand, where the S.H.I.E.L.D agents were coming from. It must be hard to face one of your own knowing that the person had briefly been under the complete control of an insane god. But, Darcy countered silently, they would know that it wasn't Clint doing those things, but Loki through Clint. And Clint wasn't exactly an agent who avoided mingling with his co-workers. He was friendly, sorta, but not so scary that you avoided him. That was Natasha. So keeping that in mind, Darcy couldn't imagine why his fellow agents would treat him badly enough that he was wary of talking about what happened to him to someone else.

She gave Lucille, who was watching her with a gentle smile, a dark look. “I hate it when you make me think.”

Lucille flicked Darcy's forehead. “It's good for your brain. If I didn't make you think, it would rot.”

“That would be tragic,” Darcy drawled. She scooted over so she could lay her head on her grandmother's shoulder. “What do I do, Gran? I wasn't exactly nice when I found out.”

“Darcy-girl, when are you ever nice when your temper is high?” Lucille asked with a chuckle.

“I kneed him in the balls before I left last week,” Darcy admitted with a sigh.

“Darcy Anne, what have I told you about that?”

“At least I didn't tase him,” Darcy pointed out. “You hate it when I do that even more.”

“This is true. Did he deserve it?”

“Kinda? I mean I may have pissed him off so he grabbed me and that kinda pissed me off,” Darcy admitted.

“What did you say to him to make him grab you?” Lucille wanted to know.

Darcy blushed and looked away from her grandmother. Her Gran was pretty awesome, but there were lines a girl had to draw. No way could she admit to her Gran that she got all hot and heavy with Clint while in New Mexico. Gran liked to think that she and Libby were chaste virgins saving themselves for marriage. She bit her lip and said cautiously, “It's complicated?”

“Darcy,” Lucille scolded. “Did you tease the man?”

“No!” Darcy insisted. “Not that kind of complicated. Just...complicated. Don't make me say it.”

“Fine. So he pissed you off, you pissed him off. Don't you think it's time to call it even?”

“Calling it even is one thing, Gran. Actually fixing it so it's better is different.” Darcy turned to stare out the window and sighed, her thoughts on Clint. “Everything with Clint is complicated.”

Lucille studied her granddaughter for several minutes. She knew that look Darcy wore now. The regret and the longing. She remembered wearing that same look a time or two in her youth over her Bart. God she missed that man. Darcy's mother had worn it too, but it wasn't something they talked about. Lucille still thought her daughter had been rather stupid. The perfect man in front of her and her baby girl had been unwilling to fight for him. Kids these days.

“You love him,” Lucille said softly. She watched with amusement as Darcy turned a bright red and stuttered. She waved the girl quiet and explained, “You think about him and you wear the same look I did when your Grandpa was in Korea.”

That gave Darcy's heart a jolt. Her Gran had waited almost three years for Gramps to come back to her. She'd always thought it was the most romantic thing in the world. Now hearing her grandmother compare Darcy to her, well it was like getting kicked to the chest. At least Gramps wanted to come back to Gran. Darcy had no idea how Clint felt about her, if he even did think of her romantically.

“Gran,” Darcy protested weakly, “It isn't the same.”

“Isn't it?” Lucille asked with one brow arching.

Knowing when she was fighting a losing battle, Darcy didn't say anything. Lucille just smiled and patted Darcy on the shoulder as she rose. “Call that Mr. Stark and go back.”

“How do I know it’s the right choice?” Darcy whispered, feeling very unsure of herself. The talk with her Gran had certainly opened her eyes on a lot of different things. But understanding and doing something about it were two different things. The whole thing with Clint had shaken Darcy more than she liked to admit.

“Would you regret it if you didn't go back?” Lucille asked. Darcy just nodded and Lucille stroked a hand over the top of her granddaughter's head. “Then that's how you now going back is the right decision. Don't do something you'll have to live to regret. Life's about taking chances, and Darcy, you've never disappointed me there.”

Darcy sniffed, feeling her eyes water. She really did love her grandmother. She had such an amazing support system growing up and now Gran was all that was left of that system. It made Darcy miss her mother and uncle even more than usual, but at least she still had her Gran.

Reaching over to the small table next to the window seat, Darcy picked up a piece of paper she had read many times since her grandmother handed it over days before. She smoothed it out and read the neat handwriting for the thousandth time.

Sighing, Darcy pulled out her phone and stared at the clock on it. It was noon. She could be back in New York by six. If she called. Fear of what could happen was holding her back. It was time to put on her big girl panties. She touched the third picture of her favorite's line up, god she loved that app, and waited as the phone on the other end rang. When someone picked up she just said, “Tony? I'm ready to come back.”

 

OoOoO

 

Clint had been back for three days. His mission had gone fine, no glitches. A little of this, a little of that, ending with a big explosion. Just how he liked them. When he had gotten back, things were a little more relaxed around the tower. He didn't like thinking it was because Darcy was gone but it was hard to deny the truth. With Darcy gone no one was really tiptoeing around him and he was more relaxed, less on his guard. Still, he wished she was back. Things might be more relaxed but it felt empty without her.

If he could go back in time, Clint would have told Darcy as soon as she had settled into the tower. He would have told her everything and let her make her own decision. Darcy should have been the one other person he trusted not to judge him. Simply because it was Darcy and she gave her loyalty with such a fierce determination that nothing could shake it. Phil Coulson trusted her and that had to count for something. And he had ignored all that. Everyone was right. He was a selfish bastard. Now he just wanted Darcy to come back so he could tell her that.

Clint had spent a lot of his time away on his mission thinking about why it was so imperative for him to fix things with Darcy. It was more than just wanting to make things easier for everyone else. They could all go to hell for all he cared. Clint had only felt like this once, when he was on the outs with Natasha, and even then it wasn't this extreme. The answer scared him and it wasn't something he wanted to admit. Consider maybe, but actually accept it? No.

Libby was back but she had avoided him like the plague. He'd seen her come and go, moving around the tower, always huddling with Stark and Rogers. And as relaxed as things might be, when he asked what was going on, no one would tell him so he had to assume that it was about Darcy. He tried not to take it personally and focused on the silver lining: Darcy was coming back. Unless what they were working on was a way for Darcy to continue working with Jane while staying in Kansas. No, he wasn't going to allow himself to think that way.

Steve was more relaxed around him, not quite glaring at him every time they saw each other. Clint had made sure, after his return, to pull Steve aside and apologize for putting him in the middle of his and Darcy's issues. Tony, when Clint tried to do the same, just told Clint not to be an ass and get over it. Clint pretty much ignored what Tony said, the man had his own issues after all. Natasha wasn't trying to kill him on the sparring mat so things were back to normal there. The only person Clint hadn't spoken with in private was Jane. He just wasn't ready to hear what the scientist had to say.

He knew he still had a long way to go when it came to healing the wounds with his teammates, but Clint felt like he had made a good start. Only time would tell and hopefully they'd be able to put all this past them and work together when it was needed.

It was around seven in the evening and he was starving. It was supposed to be a group dinner night but he wasn't sure if that was still on. Stark had torn through the towers earlier, barking orders into his phone. Then the man had disappeared. Since Stark was the driving force behind these dinners and he didn't seem to be around, that probably meant the dinner was off. So he'd just slip into the kitchen and grab something and go back to his room. He had his mission report to finish.

He walked into the kitchen and everything just stopped. Darcy was standing next to the fridge, one arm wrapped around Jane's shoulders, the other poking at Tony as the billionaire made some wise-ass comment. Libby was leaning against one of the counters with Steve, both watching Darcy with happy smiles. Natasha was standing next to the door and when Clint walked in, she gave him a measuring glance but didn't say anything.

“Clint,” Pepper said warmly as she moved past Tony to grab a bowl of something. “I was wondering if you were going to join us.”

Clint didn't realize he had stopped just inside the door and was staring at Darcy. Pepper's words made him break his gaze and he focused on her. “Ah, I wasn't sure we were still doing this tonight.”

“Why wouldn't we?” Tony asked with a goofy smile as he grabbed Darcy's hand and lifted it in the air. “Darcy’s finally back.”

“So I see,” Clint murmured evenly. He could feel the weight of Darcy's gaze but refused to look at her. He has half afraid that if he looked at her again he'd start spewing idiotic nonsense in front of everyone.

Darcy cleared her throat. “Tony, everyone, why don't you all go on in the dining room. I need a moment with Clint.”

Libby made a face that Clint saw out the corner of his eye and she whispered loudly, “You don't have to if you don't want to.”

Darcy punched her sister in the shoulder. “Shut up, Libby. Remember that I'm the big sister not you.”

“Yeah well sometimes you can be very stupid,” Libby muttered back.

Clint's lips twitched as he imagined the glare Darcy leveled at her sister. There was a pause and then Libby squealed. Clint didn't see what happened since he was looking anywhere but at Darcy. He figured Darcy had pinched her or something. Then everyone was filing past him until it was just him and Darcy alone in the kitchen.

Neither one of them spoke, which just made the entire situation more awkward. Clint finally gave into his urges and looked at her. She was still standing next to the fridge, leaning against it with her arms wrapped around her stomach. She was looking at him and biting her lip. The overwhelming desire to just walk over and take her in his arms was so strong that Clint had to look away. His balls still ached in memory at the knee she introduced to them a week and a half ago.

He heard Darcy blow out a breath and say, “Is it really that hard to look at me?”

She had no idea how hard it was. Clint shook his head. “That's not...I mean...fuck, Darcy.”

“I don't remember you stammering this much,” Darcy teased softly. “Is it new?”

“Guess so.” Only around her. Clint felt like a bumbling band geek asking the head cheerleader out on a date, knowing he was going to get shot down.

“So, it was pointed out to me recently that I may have been a little bit unfair to you,” Darcy said, talking fast as if saying the words were painful.

Clint actually did a double take, staring hard enough at her that it made her shift away from the fridge and shove her hands in her jeans pocket. He just wanted to make sure it was still Darcy he was talking to. He knew, from what she's told him, that she was a woman to hold a grudge for a long time, so this kind of statement freaked him out, just a little.

“Uh huh,” he said carefully. “I'm not sure I agree with that. I think that, given the circumstances, you were completely fair. I did lie to you.”

“Yes,” Darcy said, waving her hand, “but one of the things that was pointed out to me,” again she frowned over the words and shook her head, “was the fact that since you lied to me you must have had a good reason.”

“I thought I did. You disagreed,” Clint pointed out.

Darcy pursed her lips at that. “Yeah well, at the time I was very angry. And for the record, telling a woman it's for her own good? Yeah that never ends well. Hasn't Natasha taught you anything?”

“If I said something like that to Natasha, she'd shoot me.”

“Exactly my point,” Darcy crowed.

“You were saying?” Clint prodded with a smile. It was nice to be bantering with Darcy again.

“You must have had a good reason other than the one you gave me. Like, oh I don't know,” Darcy gave him a reproachful look that was mixed with just a little bit of sympathy. “everyone else you thought you could trust, with a few exceptions, treated you like a traitor.”

Clint just stared at her, unable to think of anything to say. Why had he been so stupid as to not tell her sooner? Sure they had a rough patch with him lying, but he should have known Darcy would understand. She got it, just like Natasha and Tony had gotten it. Maybe she needed a push to get there, going by what she said, but she got it.

“After the dust settled, it had to be difficult for you, being surrounded by your colleagues who looked at you like you'd been personally responsible for the death of many of your own, especially Phil. Except, you weren't, were you? None of it was your fault.” Darcy went on while Clint continued to stare. “You weren't in control, Loki was. Anything you did while being his butt monkey is on him, not you. And maybe you lied to me because you haven't come to terms with that. The whole deal with thinking I'd turn against you like others had? So completely ridiculous that I don't even have the words to describe how insulted I am. Uncle Phil said you could trust me. Even if you hadn't learned to trust me yourself, I would think that his word was good enough. Do you know what I found when I went to my grandmother's?”

“No?” Clint answered, confused at where she was going with this.

Darcy smiled a little, her blue eyes sad, and reached into her pocket to pull out a creased sheet of paper. It was folded in half and then half again and had the look of something that had been read multiple times. She held it out to Clint, who looked at it like it was going to snap his hand off.

“It's a letter Uncle Phil sent me, before the helicarrier was attacked I think.” She swallowed hard as Clint took the letter. “Read it. I, ah, think he knew something was going to happen to him.”

She fell silent as Clint opened the letter. Seeing the neat block letters of Coulson's handwriting was a jolt for Clint, who thought he'd never see this writing again. He could remember countless reports and orders from Coulson, all filled out in his neat handwriting.

_**Darcy,** _

_**I hate sounding trite and clichéd, but if you received this letter, well I'm sorry. I wish you would never receive something like this. But it means that I'm gone. I'm more sorry for that than anything. Because it means I've left you and I swore to your mother years ago that I would do my best to watch out for you when she couldn't. She loved you very much.** _

_**There's so much that I want to say and can't. Work related. But know this, if I died while Loki was on Earth, then I died for a good cause. So much of our world is changing, you know that first hand after last summer. We were prepared for something like this, but I think it will be more than what our minds are capable of understanding. By now, if Fury's plan worked, you'd have heard of The Avengers. If there is one thing I know with absolute certainty it is that The Avengers will be Earth's only hope in dealing with what comes, now and in the future.** _

_**You can trust them, all of them. With your secrets and life. But the one you can trust the most, above all else, is Barton. He's a good agent, a good man. He's proven himself time and time again, even when he disobeys orders. But that's just the kind of man he is. He'll do the right thing, even if it means telling his superiors to go to hell. I know, he's done it to me.** _

_**Don't think I don't realize how close the two of you got last summer. I'm not stupid or blind. I approve.** _

_**Darcy, Barton is going to have a rough time. Loki put him through the grinder. I have absolute faith that Agent Romanoff will get him back. Nothing stops her when she's determined and Barton is her partner. When you see him again, forget what you hear and what you've been told. None of that matters. Nothing Barton did while Loki was on Earth matters. That isn't who he is and knowing what he's done, it will tear him up. Don't let him wallow in self pity. Tell him I won't allow it.** _

_**Tell Lucille and Libby that I love them and it's been an honor to be a part of their family. When I first learned my brother had a daughter, my first thought was, “Great, another mess for me to clean up.” Then I went and found your mother and saw you and it all shifted. You are a part of my brother that he never allowed to grow and thrive. You are every bit of goodness he lacked. I'm proud of you, so damn proud.** _

_**I love you, kid. And never forget, I have no regrets.** _

Clint read the letter a second time before he folded it and handed it back to Darcy. His throat was hoarse when he finally spoke. “Coulson...”

Understanding the emotion, Darcy tucked the letter back in her pocket. “I know.”

Clint dragged a hand through his hair, making it look even more messy than before. “I'm not sure what I should say.”

Darcy shrugged. “Don't say anything. Look, I know things are messed up with us. I'm not pissed at what you did, I'm pissed that you felt like you had to lie and keep it a secret. I trusted you and I thought you trusted me. The fact that you didn't broke things. But most things that are broken can be fixed. Given the right tools and patience.”

She walked over and patted him on the shoulder, feeling the suppressed tingles. Clint glanced over at her and she smiled. “I'm sure the others are waiting. I'll tell them I kicked your ass so you don't have to show up.”

“That would be lying,” Clint teased, grateful for the escape. He had too much to think about to deal with a dinner involving Stark and the whole gang.

Darcy held her thumb and finger a centimeter apart. “A little lie. It won't hurt them, just entertain them. I'll see you around, Clint.”

She was gone before Clint could figure out what she meant by see you around. He added that puzzle to the list of things to figure out. His mind was reeling. This encounter with Darcy wasn't at all what he assumed would happen, especially given their last one. He had a feeling that it was going to be one of those sleepless nights for him. He turned and left, going back to his room before Tony or Natasha could come to check up on him or something. He just really wanted to be alone right now.


	24. Just Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy prepares to move out and Clint mans up and says the two words every man hates to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can thank purely_distel for this chapter going up so soon after the last.

**Chapter Twenty-four**

 

“What do you mean the apartment isn't ready yet?” Darcy asked Tony the next day as she watched Jane fiddle with something on a very shiny device. A device that, Jane had explained with very large words, would open the bridge to Asgard.

“Well there are a few things that need to be fixed before it's ready for you to move in,” Tony said absently as he worked on design plans. “But don't worry, you can stay here until it's ready.”

Darcy slapped a hand down on the design plans and glared at Tony. “Tony, what needs to be fixed?”

Tony looked up and shrugged. “Security and such. Don't worry. It will take just a couple days.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes and leaned in close, sliding the design plans away from Tony. “What kind of security?”

“Like what we have here.”

Jane looked up, saw Darcy shooting flames out her eyes, and ducked back behind her device. Tony was about to meet the wrath of Darcy and she had no sympathy. When Tony brought up the idea of upgrading the security on the building Libby picked out, Jane told him it would be a mistake. But he didn't listen.

“You mean palm scanners, retinal scanners, codes, voice recognition?” Darcy questioned.

Tony nodded. “Yes, everything needed to keep you safe.”

“Or make me feel like I'm in a prison,” Darcy snapped. “What's wrong with building security?”

“Nothing...exactly. It just isn't enough.”

Darcy let out a short strangled scream. “Your idea of enough is too much, Tony.”

“Is not.”

“It's harder to get into this tower than it is to get into the White House. You are not going to turn my apartment into a mini-Avengers Tower. No way.”

“Darcy, it's for your own protection.”

Darcy was really starting to get tired of hearing that something was for her own protection. Tony was droning on so she held up a finger to stop his ramblings. When she had his attention, she asked, “Are there locks on the door?” He nodded and she asked, “Is there a deadbolt?” Again he nodded and she went on. “Is there a buzzer that has to be used in order to get up to the apartment if you don't have the code or keys?” Tony nodded again and opened his mouth but Darcy silenced him with one single hot look. “I'm not done, thank you very much. And finally, is there a door man on duty at all times?” Tony frowned and nodded. Darcy smiled at him. “Then it doesn't need more security. I appreciate the gesture but I will not feel like I'm living in a cage.”

“You lived here,” Tony pointed out.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “That's different. The Avengers live here so I expect that level of security. Besides, you are a fucking billionaire, you need the security. But it's just going to be me and Libby. We don't need that kind of security. Trust me.”

“Yes, just the two of you. Young women living alone together in New York City.”

“I have my taser and Libby is an ace with her knee. We'll be fine.”

“But-” Tony protested.

Darcy shook a finger in his face. “Read my lips. No.”

Disgruntled, Tony nodded and leaned back to escape Darcy's finger. “Fine. In that case, you can move in today.”

Satisfied, Darcy nodded. “Great. Hey wait, isn't there usually a waiting period?”

“Tony bought the building,” Jane said, finally deciding it was safe to come out.

Darcy stared at Tony with wide eyes. “You bought the building?”

Tony shrugged. “It was there. Real estate is a good investment, even in this economy.”

“Sure if you’re rich.”

“Uh...I am?”

“Oh, right. Huh,” Darcy said. “Well, okay then. We’ll move in as soon as Libby gets out of class.”

“Are you sure you want to do this, Darcy?” Jane asked as she tugged the design plans away from Darcy, who was still holding them hostage from Tony. “You seemed much more relaxed after your talk with Agent Barton last night.”

Darcy thought about it. Before, moving out seemed like the right solution because things were rocky with Clint. It was true that things felt better, but she wasn't ready to test those waters yet. It had been less than twenty four hours since she got back. Being close to Clint, feeling the way she did, it just didn't bode well. For either of them. And she didn't want to become one of those clingy girls, always hanging around the man they liked. Plus, she needed her space. It was hard to explain and she wasn't sure Tony or anyone else would understand. She had to remember that she was just a girl from Kansas who didn't belong in this world, even though she was living in it. Having her own place to escape to at night would help keep the two worlds separate.

She smiled at Jane. “I'm sure. This will be good, for me and Libby. Now she can move out of the dorm. She hates it there.”

“I can understand that. All those screaming college girls. However does she survive?” Tony said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Darcy snorted. “Just because it's your idea of a wet dream.”

“A very good one at that.”

“Oh gross, I don't need to know about that,” Jane cried, slapping her hands over her ears. “The two of you are just shameless.”

“We know,” Darcy and Tony chorused together.

Jane rolled her eyes and tapped a portion of the design. “Tony, what if we did something different here? To maximize the output of energy?”

Tony leaned over and studied where Jane pointed and nodded. “Yeah I can work with that. But if we maximize the output, then won't this overload?”  
Jane frowned and studied it and turned to the white board behind her, grabbing a dry erase marker. She started scribbling equations. “Well, maybe, but not if we did...no that won't work...what about...”

Tony stood to join her, pointing out errors and then eventually grabbing his own marker to do his own equations. Seeing the two of the completely occupied, Darcy shrugged and left the lab. When they were in math mode, as she liked to call it, she could do whatever she wanted. Right now she wanted to pack so she'd be ready to leave when Libby came over. The desire to leave was eating at her now that she knew she could move into the new apartment immediately. She just really wanted her own space that was Avenger free. She loved them all, but Christ it was just a little overwhelming at times to live with them.

 

OoOoO

 

Clint knew what he had to do. It was all very simple really. Two words that would go a long way in making everything better. And how hard could it be after what Darcy said last night? If she could say all that, how come saying I'm sorry to her was taking on the challenge of shooting an arrow through a moving hole and hitting a bullseye...blindfolded? Almost impossible. As in he could probably pull it off but he wasn't willing to bet on it. And for him, that was saying a lot.

Growling at himself, he tossed the magazine he wasn't really reading on the table. This really shouldn't be that difficult. It was just words. No, not it wasn't. It was more than words, it was the intention behind them. That part he had no trouble with because he was sorry he had lied. But apologizing and admitting you were wrong...that was hard. And that's what it boiled down to, his pride. It had already taken a beating, he wasn't sure how much more it could suffer.

He needed some perspective. So Clint did the only thing he could, he called Natasha. She showed up five minutes later and walked into his apartment without even knocking. “What is the problem now?”

“Same problem,” Clint said shortly. “Just having issues on how to fix it.”

“By giving her space?”

“I plan to do that too, but there are things that need to be said.”

“That can't wait?”

“After last night? No,” Clint admitted. “She put herself out there so it feels like I should do the same.”

Natasha sank down next to him on the couch. “What did she say?”

Clint tapped his fingers against his thigh and was silent for so long that Natasha almost got up and left. Eventually he said, “She told me she understood why I would lie to her based on how others reacted to me and what happened to me.”

His hands had clenched into fists and he forced himself to relax. He still couldn't believe Darcy had done that. Said it and meant it. He spread his hand out and studied the small scars that marred his fingers from years of work with various weapons. Callouses from his bow. Nicks from the knives he used before he switched to the bow when he was still working in the circus. Going over each little scar helped him focus and he looked at Natasha with bewilderment. “Who does that?”

Natasha was just as confused as Clint. People like that, who accepted the harsh truths of their lives...they just didn't exist. Or they hadn't until recently. Natasha was learning, just like Clint, that there were people who didn't judge them based on their past. Of course, Natasha didn't talk about her past so there wasn't much to judge on. But rather than be scared like many civilians were by Natasha's demeanor, Pepper, Jane, Libby, and Darcy treated her like one of the girls, if a bit warily.

Realizing that Clint was waiting for an answer, Natasha shrugged. “Someone with a really big heart? Clint, you know that I understand it even less than you do.”

“You seem to have a better grasp on this whole thing than I do,” Clint pointed out.

Natasha shook her head. “No, I had a better idea on how you should have handled the situation. Now that it is out of the bag and it went down the way it did, I'm as baffled as you by Darcy. She's not like anyone I know.”

“She's not like anyone I know either,” Clint agreed. “Except Coulson.”

“Well,” Natasha said logically, “she is Coulson's niece. Maybe the Coulson gene passed on to her.”

“Or at least part of it,” Clint said with a short chuckle. “I need to say I'm sorry.”

“So say it.”

“When has saying those two words ever been easy for either of us?” Clint asked dryly.

“Well it isn't hard for me. I just don't bother saying it,” Natasha said loftily. “Why would I? I'm rarely sorry for anything I do.”

“That's what I like about you, Tash, you're just so damn humble.”

“And you are being a chicken. Just go find her and say it. She'll probably get emotional, maybe cry. You're on yourown then.”

“Natasha, you are the only woman I know who is more afraid of a woman's tears than a man.”

“No, I'm quite used to tears of pain. But emotional tears? That is outside of my area of expertise.”

“Well I think I've proven that I'm capable of making her cry because of emotional pain.”

“Then practice for when she cries.”

“If she cries, I'm calling you. You'll be the only one to defend me if Stark and Rogers find out.”

Natasha smiled smugly. “I find it sweet that they are so protective. It's cute.”

Clint frowned and grumbled. “She doesn't want me to protect her but she's just fine with the two of them protecting her.”

“Someone sounds jealous,” Natasha taunted.

Clint glared and shifted in his seat. “I'm not jealous. Why does me being protective piss her off but not them?”

“Because they gave her a choice? They didn't just decide to protect her and not tell her about it? Or they are protecting her from something that is real and not just a figment of their imagination?” Natasha ticked each point off on a finger. “Or maybe she just holds you in a higher regard than them and expects more from you.”

“You know, I thought you'd come over here, give me a pep talk that would be more in place on the battlefield, and I'd go and apologize.”

“You mean that wasn't one?” Natasha asked with a head tilt.

He glared. “I hate you.”

“It won't last. Look at how fast you forgave me for Budapest.” Natasha grinned when Clint flipped her off. She punched him in the arm. “Go talk to her, apologize, whatever. She's in her room. Packing I think.”

“Packing?” Clint asked, freezing halfway up off the couch. “For what? She just got back.”

Natasha rose as well and shrugged. “Ask her. I'm not her secretary.”

“But you know.”

“I know everything.”

“You know, that coming from you, may be scarier thanwhen it came from Fury and Coulson together,” Clint muttered under his breath.

Natasha just smirked and left. Clint grumbled but got up and followed her out, heading up a floor to where Darcy had been staying. Her door was open and the Beach Boys were blaring from the speakers of her iPod dock. Smiling at the sound of Kokomo, Clint leaned against the door jam and watched Darcy dance around the room as she filled boxes and a suitcase, smiling as she really got into the song.

“Very attractive,” he drawled when she did a shimmy that had his mouth watering and the front of his pants tightening.

Darcy let out a shriek and whirled, tossing the ball of socks she was holding at him without blinking. Clint caught the socks before they could hit him in the face and tossed them back to a glaring Darcy.

“What the hell, Clint?” Darcy snapped as she caught the socks and tossed them in a half filled box.

“You were too busy crooning to notice me. I had to get your attention somehow,” Clint explained as he walked into the room.

“So scaring me is your solution? You didn't think that maybe knocking would work?” Darcy snapped.

Clint shrugged. “Would you have heard me?”

Darcy flicked a look at the iPod, which was still going, only now it was playing Guns'N'Roses, and laughed. She turned it off. “No, probably not. So, what can I do for you? Or are you just out for a stroll?”

“Well, I had something I wanted to talk about, but, you're packing.” Clint waved a hand at the boxes and suitcases.

Darcy looked around and flushed. She fingered the flaps of one of the boxes. “Yeah. I was going to tell you.”

“What? You're leaving?”

“Sorta?” Darcy offered, looking sheepish.

“How do you sorta leave?” Clint asked.

“I'm moving out of Avengers Tower. Libby and I are going to move into an apartment four blocks away,” Darcy said in a rush.

Clint blinked once, then twice, “You're moving out?”

She nodded slowly. “Yeah. Tony and Steve helped Libby find a place while I was visiting Gran.”

“Why?”

“Because I wasn't here to go apartment hunting myself?” Darcy answered slowly with a frown.

Clint stared at her, one brow raised. “No. Why are you moving out?”

Darcy returned his stare evenly. “Clint, tell me honestly, do you really think that both of us living here is a good thing? I mean, things have kind of gone to hell in a hand basket between us and I don't think living together is healthy for either of us. And you sort of have to live here, being an Avenger and all. I can move out.”

Clint's face remained blank as he digested her reasoning. Truthfully he had been wondering how they'd cope being in such close proximity given the change in their relationship. He wasn't all that concerned with his own feelings but then there were Darcy's. After all, he had been the one who screwed up. But his grand plan had been to stay out of her way unless she initiated contact. Hers was more extreme.

“I could move out,” Clint suggested but even as he spoke it felt wrong.

Judging by the look on Darcy's face, she felt the same way. “Maybe the Avengers aren't needed now, but they will be, some day. It makes more sense for you all to live together, like this. To have a central base. I'm just the hired help, no matter how you look at it. I can come and go more easily as well. Trust me, Clint, this is the best decision.”

“I don't like knowing I'm the one driving you out,” Clint admitted. “I've already screwed up.”

Darcy's face softened. “You aren't driving me out, not exactly. I know it looks that way, but you are not my only reason for moving out.”

Not believing her, Clint challenged, “Name one.”

“I like having my own place. It's not the same here. Everyone here is either smarter than me or has an actual purpose that doesn't involve running herd on an absentminded astrophysicist. Don't get me wrong, I can hold my own in most cases. But when Tony or Jane starts rambling about equations and relativity, I want to be able to run and not look back. I need my space, you understand?”

He did. It was nice living here. But Clint was used to having his own place, where no one kept tabs on it. It was one thing that made JARVIS so creepy, that the AI always knew where you were within the tower. There was freedom in having your own place and Darcy was one of the most independent women he knew so he could understand why she wanted to move out.

“I understand, more than I like. I'll get over it,” Clint said with a sigh.

Darcy's lips twitched. “So does that mean you won't try and talk me out of it?”

“Why waste my breath?” Clint shot back.

“Tony tried. Steve tried. Jane tried. Tony tried to get a security system installed that rivals the one here. Natasha’s the only one that doesn't really have an opinion.”

“That's the normal for Natasha. But I'm sure she has her concerns.”

“Everyone has their concerns,” Darcy retorted with an eye roll. “What are yours?”

“Would it matter what they are?” Clint asked.

Darcy looked away and stared down at her half full box of underwear and socks. “Your concerns always matter to me, Clint. Haven't you figured that out by now?”

“My only concern is that you are doing this not because you want to but to make things easier on me. No one loves a martyr, Darcy.”

She turned her head to look over her shoulder at him. “Being a martyr isn't in my plans. I really do want this, for my own reasons.”

Clint held his hands out. “Then I'm okay with it even if I don't like the idea of you being four blocks away. I kinda got used to having you around again.”

“Well, when things are better, you can come over for dinner and movie night.”

“It's a date,” Clint said without thinking. His mouth snapped shut as soon as the words spilled out and he quickly looked away from Darcy, fighting the urge to squirm. He had not meant to suggest that it would be a date. That was a bridge he wasn't ready to cross.

A quick look out the corner of his eye showed that Darcy was blushing and staring at her feet. He'd give anything to know what she was thinking at that very moment. When she refused to meet his eyes, Clint knew it was time to go. No need to make things even more awkward than it already was.

“So,” Clint said quickly, backing up to the door. “I'm just going to go and let you finish packing. Let me know if you need free labor to haul your stuff over to the new place. Or if Libby needs help moving out of her dorm.”

“I, uh, think Tony and Steve have it covered, but thanks,” Darcy said quickly, turning to give him a quick smile.

At the door, Clint paused, remembering why he came here in the first place. He almost left without saying it. But that damned voice in his head told him not to be a chicken and just say it. Hadn't Darcy done in her part in attempting to make it all better? He needed to man up and do his part.

Staring fixedly at a spot behind her, Clint said as quickly and as painlessly as he possibly could, “Look, Darcy, about the lying and everything...I'm sorry.” She made a noise and he pressed on before he completely screwed up by running or something. “You were right, I should have trusted you. Coulson told me I could and I already knew I could. You never judged me on my job or what I did for S.H.I.E.L.D. It was stupid to think that you'd hold something I couldn't control against me. So...I'm sorry.”

He turned before she could say anything, moved and frightened by the depth of emotion he had glimpsed in her eyes as he spoke. He had no idea how to handle it so he did something he very rarely did. He made a strategic retreat. Sometimes there were some battles you had to walk away from if you didn't want to lose. And Clint had the feeling that getting into a involved conversation with Darcy right now would be one of those where he came out the loser. Eventually they'd talk, but not just yet.


	25. Food, Wine, and Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls gather at Darcy's new apartment for a little girl night while Clint takes Natasha to dinner and gets a little perspective. Again.

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

 

The little hole-in-the-wall pizzeria suited Natasha and Clint. Clint's first thought, when he decided he wanted some pizza, had been to call and ask Darcy if she wanted to come with him. It was an ingrained reaction that had stayed with him after New Mexico. Dr. Foster and Dr. Selvig didn't like pizza so when Darcy wanted pizza, she made him join her. They'd gone several times to the only pizza place in town and it had been fun, so now when Clint thought of pizza, he thought of Darcy.

He had her number halfway dialed before he realized that this was the night that the women were having 'girl time' over at Darcy and Libby's. So he called the only other person who enjoyed pepperoni and pineapple pizza, Natasha. The moment they walked into the pizzeria, Clint knew that Darcy would love it. It was crowded, with tables shoved so close together than it made it difficult to maneuver. The back section was filled with classic arcade games. The ringing of bells and the shouts of excitement from the arcade area mixed with the crooning of Frank Sinatra. The tang of marinara and pizza sauce combined with the rich scent of pizza dough made Clint's mouth water.

He grinned at Natasha as they found a table, seating themselves as the sign right inside the door said. “I love this place.”

Natasha looked around at the chaos that leaned towards organized and gave him a dry look. “You would.”

“See, I can appreciate the atmosphere of this place.”

“There are two exits, probably a third in the kitchen. The wide windows make the entire dining area an easy target for a shooter,” Natasha commented, keeping her voice low as she automatically scanned for threats.

Clint didn't even comment on it. That was Natasha's thing. She always looked first from a tactical viewpoint. It was only after she was reassured that she had every exit and weak point spotted that she'd relax enough to enjoy herself. Clint scanned the arcade and his eyes lit up. “Look, they have Police Force!”

Natasha twisted to look at the classic pinball game and rolled her eyes. “Did you beg me to come here just so you had someone to cheer you on as you caught the bad guys?”

Clint smiled and clasped a hand over his heart dramatically. “It's like you really get me, Tash.”

“You seem to be in a good mood,” Natasha mused after a waitress had come and gone with their order.

“You sound surprised.”

“You haven't exactly been Mister Cheerful lately,” she pointed out.

Clint shrugged. “It isn't like I've had a reason to be.” 

“So I assume you talked to Darcy?” Natasha asked as the waitress brought back their drinks.

Clint lifted his beer and took a long drink and nodded. “Yes and it went well. I'm surprised you didn't know that already.”

Natasha smirked. “Maybe I just wanted you to say out loud.”

Clint rolled his eyes. “I talked to her, I apologized. She even explained why she was moving out and how it wasn't my fault.”

“And?”

“She's right, I guess. I don't agree with all her reasons and I still think she did it in large part because of me, but it isn't like I can stop her.”

Natasha had her doubts about that. She was pretty sure that if Clint made a strong enough case, without going all caveman, Darcy would move back to the Tower. She didn't like Darcy leaving anymore than anyone else, but not for the same reasons as them. For the first time in a long time, Natasha found herself in a position she was incapable of handling.

As Clint's partner and best friend, she was always there for him. They had been the pillar of support for each other ever since he chose to save her rather than kill her. He'd literally saved her life because there had been no way she could have kept going the way she was. Breaking Loki's hold on him had gone a long way to erasing the debt she felt she owed him. But now that it was all over, Natasha discovered that the one thing Clint needed she couldn't give.

So much of her past remained buried. She liked it that way. It made life easier to deal with if she wasn't focusing on the things she had been made to do. Loki had brought those memories up to the surface once more. And she was finding it difficult to shove them back where they belonged, in the dark, never to be seen. Seeing Clint, recognizing what he was going through...it made Natasha sick because she just couldn't help him. She couldn't press and make him talk about it because it brought back too many memories. She felt weak and hated it. But maybe there was something she could do to help Clint. There was one other person who cared for Clint and who could help him; it was just too bad that Clint and Darcy were on the outs.

Realizing that Clint had been calling her name several times, Natasha blinked, pulling herself out of her thoughts. “I'm sorry, what was that?”

Clint looked at her strangely. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Natasha said and pointed at the waitress bringing them their pizza. “Dinner is here.”

“You were a million miles away,” Clint pressed.

Natasha shrugged and watched the waitress set down the pizza with a sly smile directed at Clint, who seemed completely oblivious. “It was nothing. I was just wondering what was going on at girl night.”

“You were invited to that?” Clint asked as he picked up a slice of pizza.

The look Natasha gave him could kill. “I'm a girl, Clint, so yes I was invited.”

“But you don't do girl nights. Your idea of a girl night is shooting someone.”

Natasha smiled sweetly at him. “I could always shoot you.”

He laughed and watched as Natasha started to eat.

 

OoOoO

 

“So, every evening, no matter if I was in a class or in the library, when I left, there he was,” Libby said around the spoon in her mouth. She pulled it out and scooped up more Butter Pecan ice cream. “It's not like I asked him to come by or anything, he was just there. Did you?”

Darcy paused with her own spoon of ice cream halfway to her mouth. “Did I what?”

She looked at Jane and Pepper, raised a brow in question. They both shook their heads and stared at Libby, who was glaring at Darcy.

Jabbing her spoon at Darcy accusingly, Libby asked, “Are you even listening? Did you ask Captain Muscles to check in on me every day while you were in Kansas?”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Why would I ask Steve to do that?”

“I don't know, for my protection?”

“You have a knee and know how to use it. Why would you need protection?”

“That's what I told him. He just shrugged and said that he felt better knowing I had someone to watch my back at night on campus.”

Pepper smiled. “I think it's lovely and old fashioned.”

“It's weird,” Libby stated without hesitation. “I mean, sure old fashioned is great when it comes to standing when a lady does, or opening a door for a lady. But just showing up to escort me to my room? Felt more like he was making sure I was where I was supposed to be, like an officer in a prison.”

“This is assuming you are a lady, right?” Darcy asked and ducked her sister's swinging arm.

“I'm sure that wasn't his intention,” Pepper assured while shooting a reproachful look at Darcy. “I'm sure that Steve looks on you like he does Darcy, as a little sister.”

Libby made a face while Darcy choked on her laughter. “Trust me, Pepper, that was just so wrong because Libby does not in any fashion think of Steve as a brother.”

“Darcy!” Libby screeched. “You promised!”

Jane leaned forward eagerly. “Wait, you like Steve? As in like like?”

“She's got a crush on Captain Muscles that is comparable to your lust for Thor,” Darcy answered with a snicker.

Libby grabbed a dish towel off the counter and proceeded to beat Darcy with it. “You little rat!”

Pepper exchanged a look with Jane as Darcy abandoned her ice cream and ran around the counter to escape her sister. “Times like this remind me why I think I'd rather have a son than a daughter.”

Jane nodded. “Yeah, I can see your point. But, think about this. A Mini Tony.”

Pepper thought about it for a moment then gave a little shudder. “Maybe a daughter is better after all.”

“Nah,” Darcy said after she twisted Libby around and put her in a headlock. “A daughter would be worse. Just think of how Tony would react to having a little princess. She'd never be allowed out of the house after she got tits.”

“Which is hilarious when you think about it since Tony is always trying to get his hands on a pair of tits,” Libby croaked as she fought to get free of Darcy. Then she flushed and gave Pepper an apologetic look. “Oops, sorry.”

Pepper waved her off. “No, don't. It's completely true. At one point Tony's greatest ambition was to get his hands on as many tits as he could. Lucky for him, he's worked that out of his system.”

“Yeah now the only tits he gets to touch are Pepper's,” Darcy snickered. She gave Pepper, who turned a lovely shade of red, a measuring look. “Or have you let him get that far?”

Pepper sputtered and flushed harder. “I am not answering that.”

Libby finally stomped on Darcy's foot and when Darcy yelped and jerked back, she dashed to freedom and safety next to Jane, who was laughing at Pepper's predicament. “That would be a yes then.”

Darcy hopped on one foot while rubbing her bruised foot. “So tell us, Miss Potts, just how does the illustrious Mr. Stark rate in bed?”

Pepper shoved another spoon of ice cream in her mouth to avoid answering that. Jane snickered and pushed her now empty bowl away. “I bet he's real creative.”

Pepper gave Jane a scandalized look. “I can't believe you are encouraging them.”

“Jane gets feisty after a bowlful of ice cream. Though, you see her when she's drunk. She actually complimented Clint on his arms once.”

“They are nice arms,” Jane defended. “I mean seriously, I never knew archery did that to a pair of arms.”

“It's not just archery,” Darcy said with a matter of fact tone. “He works out and lifts weights too.”

“Yeah you know all about that, don't you, sis?” leered Libby.

Darcy flushed as three pair of eyes turned to her. “What?”

“Just what do you know about Clint's work out schedule?” Pepper teased.

“More than she wants us to know,” Jane answered with a smirk. “Up until recently, Darcy had JARVIS letting her know when Clint was in the gym and then she convinced JARVIS to pipe live feed from the security cameras into her iPad.”

“Darcy! Techno-stalking!” Libby scolded then pretended to wipe a tear from her eye. “I am so proud of you.”

Darcy pointed a finger at Jane. “No more ice cream for you.”

 

OoOoO

 

Clint's slice of pizza lay untouched on his plate. He fiddled with his fork, tapping it against his plate long enough that Natasha snatched it from his hands and poked him with it. “Ask me, Clint.”

“Ask you what?” he asked innocently.

“Ask me if I'm going over to Darcy's after dinner.”

“What makes you think I was wondering that?” he demanded. Natasha arched a brow and stared at him until he grinned. “So are you?”

“I was thinking about it, yes.”

“You like her.”

“I tolerate her.”

“You give her self defense lessons,” Clint said with a smirk.

“I often work with recruits for S.H.I.E.L.D. It's no different.”

Clint laughed and shook his head. “The hell it isn't. Fury makes you work with the new recruits. You told her you would teach her self defense. You volunteered. Big difference.”

“You like her,” Natasha said simply.

Clint stared at her for a long moment, a little taken back by the emotion that swamped him. Natasha never liked any of the women he liked. She always called them vapid and shallow. She would always have a smirk and snarky comment when he introduced her to the women he dated. She never failed to scare them. Only Natasha liked Darcy and Darcy wasn't scared 

_Wait,_ he thought, _why am I thinking of Darcy as if I was going to date her just because Natasha liked her?_ Little thoughts like these had been sneaking in on him frequently, ever since Darcy returned and they talked. Darcy was not like the other women he dated and he had no idea how to proceed. She was not someone who could be a two or three week distraction, she was more.

“So, I'm a fucking coward,” Clint said suddenly, lifting his glass to drink the remaining beer.

“What?” Natasha asked, pushing her empty plate away.

“I'm a fucking coward,” Clint repeated. “I apologized to Darcy, said some stuff, and then just walked out.”

“And that makes you a coward?” Natasha questioned.

Clint nodded. “When you throw in the fact that I didn't wait to see what she had to say and the fact that I haven't seen or talked to her since she moved out.”

Natasha pursed her lips. “So you are back to avoiding her?”

“Seems like it.”

“Clint,” Natasha scolded with a well put upon sigh.

 

OoOoO

 

“I didn't think you and Agent Barton were involved like that,” Pepper mused.

“They aren't,” Libby said with a smirk. “But Darcy wishes they were. I'd know her lust face anywhere and half the time, when Clint is around and not looking at her, she's wearing it. The heat between them is enough to make _my_ panties explode.”

Darcy flushed as Jane and Pepper laughed. Her sister was going to die. Why did she ever think living with her sister would be a good idea? Then she smirked herself. “Oh like you have panties to explode with all the 'come take me big boy' longing looks you give Steve.”

It was Libby's turn to become red faced. She sputtered and protested, much to Jane and Pepper's amusement. Liking how the tables were turning, Darcy dug the barb a little deeper. “You may protest about him showing up to walk you to your dorm at night, but you liked it. You just wish you could have work up the guts to invite him in for a late night drink, right?”

“I hate you so hard right now,” Libby snapped. Then she grinned. “One day I will. It's kind of hard to work up the nerve because he's this perfectly normal guy, if you can overlook the whole Captain America thing. Which is where the nerves come in to play, cause he's Captain Fucking America.”

“I don't actually think he's fucking America,” Jane snorted. When all three looked at her with mild shock, she shrugged. “I can be dirty too. Like the things I could tell you about what I want to do to Thor's hammer when he returns. And I'm not talking about Mjolnir.”

Pepper snorted and dissolved into laughter. Libby didn't know if she should laugh or cover her ears. And Darcy beamed proudly at Jane and clasped her hands to her heart. “It's finally happened. I've corrupted Jane. So tell us, Jane, just how many ways have you come up with that put Thor's big hammer to use.”

“Wait, wait,” Libby held up her hands, “first, I'm not sure I want to hear this. Second, how do you know it's big?”

Darcy and Jane exchanged looks and giggled. It was Darcy that recovered first. “You've seen pictures of the man right? It would go against nature for a man built like that to be anything but big. Plus, he's a god, couldn't he, like you know, adjust it to suit him?”

“I think that would be Loki,” Jane mused. “After all in some legends here on Earth he was a shapeshifter. And as we've learned, our legends have some kernel of truth.”

 

OoOoO

 

“I don't know what is going on with me. This is not me.”

“It's Darcy, she messes with your head.”

“I don't know why.”

The look Natasha gave Clint clearly said she didn't believe him. He shifted in his seat and avoided looking at her. The stare went on until Clint cracked. “Okay I know why but I don't...it's not...I mean...fuck, Tash.”

Natasha smiled slowly. “It's nice to see you all churned up over a woman.”

“She's a child compared to us.”

“I think the fact that she is nothing like us is part of her appeal. The innocence. The determination. The quirkiness. Clint, she makes you happy.” Natasha leaned back in her seat and stared at her partner.

Clint sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “She's Coulson's niece.”

“And that matters how? If anything, it just means that she understands that sometimes the job comes first.”

Clint shoved his plate away, the pizza still untouched. The craving he had earlier had disappeared the longer he thought about Darcy and the feelings she stirred up in him. He had a brief moment to wonder when he became such a emotional freak to obsess over crap like this.

“I don't even know how this happened.”

“Does anyone?” Natasha asked rhetorically.

“That isn't even remotely helpful.”

“I don't think I can help you with this, Clint. I know even less about relationships than you do. But if you think it will help, I could talk to Darcy.”

“What would you say?” Clint asked as he rose when she did. Clint pulled out a couple twenties and tossed them on the table to cover the check.

Natasha pulled on her jacket and shrugged. “I'll think of something. Go home, Clint. Get Tony and Steve and have a guys night. I'll see you later.”

Natasha kissed him on the cheek and walked away. Clint watched her leave and sighed. Somehow, having Natasha talk to Darcy did not feel all that reassuring. Still, now that she had the idea, there would be no stopping Natasha. He didn't even bother trying to think about what Natasha would say. He probably didn't want to know.

 

OoOoO

 

Darcy made a face and went to get the bottle of wine that Pepper brought as a housewarming gift. Natasha was the only one who hadn't shown up yet, but Darcy wasn't going to give up on her. She poured three glasses of wine, ignoring Libby's pout, and passed a glass to Pepper and Jane.

“Can we just not talk about Loki?” Darcy asked after she took a big gulp of wine.

Jane looked contrite and smiled apologetically. “Sorry. So, back to Libby's problem.”

“Why do we have to go back to that?” Libby moaned. “I'm regretting even bringing it up.”

“Too late for that. So, given your lustful thoughts towards Steve, does it really bother you that he showed up?” Darcy asked.

Libby shrugged and leaned against the counter. She liked that Pepper and Jane were comfortable in the kitchen. She loved kitchens. They always made her think of home and baking with her mother and grandmother. “I guess not. But, why? That's what I want to know. If none of you asked him to, why would he do that? I mean, I'm not you, Darce, we hardly ever talk.”

“Maybe,” Pepper said slowly as she picked up her wine and sipped it. “He likes you?”

Libby just stared at Pepper. “Yeah. Right.”

Pepper shrugged. “Seems to me that it is the only logical explanation. I mean, he's from a time when guys walked the girl home.”

“After dates, sure,” Libby agreed. “But this?”

Jane picked up her wine, debated a moment, then thought the hell with it, and drank. She sat the glass down and said, “Maybe he showed up wanting to ask you out but lost his nerve.”

“But...but...” Libby stuttered, much to their amusement, “He's an Avenger. How could asking someone on a date scare him?”

Darcy raised her hand and almost spilled her wine. “I can answer that. Think about it, Libs. He was frozen for seventy years. He told me that before that happened there was one woman he was interested in. Now, seventy years later, that woman is old and has her own family and stuff. Steve is just gun shy. I can't really blame him.”

“Huh,” Libby commented and leaned over the counter to steal Darcy's glass. Ignoring her sister's protest she took a sip and then made a face. Wine was not for her. She passed it back and ignored Darcy's dirty look. “So I shouldn't make the first move?”

Jane looked at Pepper and Darcy and answered, “Well, I wouldn't.”

Pepper nodded. “I agree. He's still adjusting to the shift in the culture and reality of the twenty-first century. He's used to the guy asking the girl out.”

Libby scowled. “It just seems...”

“If you say wrong, I'm going to smack you,” Darcy warned. “There is nothing wrong with Steve and the way he does things. Don't go and expect too much from him. He's only been awake for a few months. He needs more time to adjust to the fact that women ask men out all the time. Baby steps, sis, baby steps.”

Libby made a face. “Yeah but what if he was only doing that to be nice? I mean, what are the chances of Steve liking me, romantically?”

“Do you really want to know?” Natasha asked from beside Jane.

All four women let out a shriek that could break glass and twisted to look at the red head woman who was calmly pouring herself a glass of wine. When they gaped at her, she just gave them an innocent smile and sipped her wine. Girls night was fun.


	26. And The Night Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint goes back to the Tower for some guys night and Darcy gets a little advice from Natasha.

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

 

Clint got back to the tower a half an hour after parting ways with Natasha and found Steve and Tony in one of the game rooms. A cooler full of beer sat in one corner and he headed straight for it. Steve was kicking Tony's ass in a game of pool and Clint wandered over to watch.

“You, sir, are a shark,” Tony muttered as Steve sank another ball.

Steve grinned at him. “I swear, I've never played before.”

“I refuse to believe that,” Tony shot back. Tony's eyes lit up when he saw Clint. “Legolas, so glad you joined us.”

“How long are you going to call me that?” Clint asked, more amused than annoyed. Tony's nicknames were starting to grow on him.

“Until I get bored,” Tony replied.

“So never,” Steve said with a grin.

“It could be worse,” Clint told Steve. “At least I'm not a Hawksicle.”

Steve frowned at him. “Shh, I finally got him to stop calling me that.”

“Oh Capiscle is my favorite!” Tony exclaimed. He looked at Steve, who was giving Clint an accusing look. “Why did I stop calling you that?”

“Because I told you if you called me that one more time I was going to punch you in the face. You decided you were too pretty for that and stopped,” Steve said flatly.

“So, does that still stand or have you gotten over it?” Tony asked with a lazy grin.

Steve grinned back at him, opening his hands and clenching them back into fists. “Why don't you try it and see?”

Clint turned his head to hide his smile. He had realized very quickly that Steve and Tony together could go two ways. Badly or just barely civilized. They still got on each others nerves, but usually they could co-exist in the same vicinity without any bloodshed. Normally Pepper, Natasha, or Darcy was able to run interference. Pepper just gave them disapproving looks and Natasha glared until they stoppped. The first time they had one of their alpha male posturing in front of Darcy, she had settled it with a few simple words: So if you two have sex, can I watch? He still chuckled remembering it. After that, Tony and Steve may have their male stare downs, but they didn't do it in front of Darcy.

“So who needs a drink?” Clint asked when Tony seriously seemed to be thinking about calling Steve Capsicle.

“I'm good,” Steve said as he leaned in to finish the game.

“Well, I think it's always a good time for another drink. Fix me a scotch.” Tony watched the black eight ball thunk quietly into the corner pocket and swore, “Son of a bitch.”

Steve smiled and took the twenty Tony offered. “Thanks for teaching me to play, Tony. I appreciate it.”

Tony glared at Steve. “You either have really good beginner's luck or you just played me.”

Steve smirked. “You'll never know.”

Tony looked at Clint and jerked a finger at Steve. “He's been spending too much time with Darcy and her sister.”

Clint raised a brow as he finished pouring Tony's scotch and looked at Steve, who flushed. “He's blushing.”

“He blushes when he sees a Victoria Secret's commercial.”

“Yeah but he didn't start blushing until you mentioned Libby,” Clint informed Tony as he walked over to the two and handed Tony his drink.

 

OoOoO

 

Natasha set her wine glass down, finally annoyed by the wide eyed gaping looks the other four women gave her. She frowned at them. “What? I'm sorry I missed the ice cream, but I got held up.”

Libby sputtered and pointed at Natasha. “Where the hell did you come from? You weren't even there two minutes ago.”

Natasha shrugged. “I walked in through the door? Like a normal person.”

“The door was locked,” Darcy pointed out.

“And?” Natasha asked mildly.

Darcy looked a little outraged. “Natasha, did you pick our locks?”

“No.”

“Then how did you get in if the door was locked?” Jane asked a little warily. She glanced around to see if anyone else had snuck in on them.

Natasha rolled her eyes and held up a key. “I have a key.”

Darcy blinked and Libby looked at her sister. “Did you give her a key? Cause I didn't.”

“I didn't either,” Darcy informed Libby. She looked at Natasha. “Where did you get that?”

“Tony,” Natasha replied and sipped her wine. “He thought it might be useful.”

Darcy opened her mouth and then closed it. She turned to Pepper and pointed. “He's your boy toy, you handle it.”

Pepper pulled out her PDA and tapped a few keys, muttering to herself. “Remind Tony that he isn't allowed to give out the keys of his tenants just because he knows them.” Then she smiled serenely at Darcy. “I'll handle it.”

“Good cause I might strangle him.”

“He gave Steve and Clint keys too. And he has one. I also believe he has keys for Jane and Pepper,” Natasha told Darcy with a wicked smile.

Darcy made a strangled noise and beat her head against the counter top. “Boundaries. The man has none.”

“I'll talk to him, Darcy, and get your keys back,” Pepper soothed. She didn't look at all surprised by Tony's actions. Just another fact of life when dealing with Tony.

Darcy waved her off. “Talk to him, sure. But don't worry about the keys. In fact, it's probably smart that you guys all have keys, just in case. Only, I would like to make it very clear that they are only to be used in an emergency.”

She looked at Libby to see if her sister agreed since Libby lived here too. Libby just shrugged in agreement. It really didn't make a difference to her. She knew that for the next few weeks the apartment would just be a place to sleep as she started preparing for her finals. After spending almost two months covering her classes over the internet, being back in class was throwing her off and she knew that if she wanted to do well enough to earn that internship Tony offered she'd really have to focus on her schoolwork.

“Doesn't matter to me, Darcy. I'll be consumed with finals soon enough and as long as I have a bed to crash on, I don't care who is here,” Libby told her.

“That's going to be hell on your sex life with Steve,” teased Darcy.

Libby flushed and cried, “We do not have a sex life.”

“Yet,” Natasha added helpfully, feeling amused by the way Libby blushed and spluttered. “Maybe one day.”

“If Libby had it her way, they'd be bumping uglies now,” Darcy said with a snort. “Though I don't see it.”

Libby gave her sister a flat look. “See what? And we would not!”

“The attraction. I mean, Steve is hot. He's sizzlin'. But, Libs, Uncle Phil talked about him so much and idolized him. I just kind of figured you'd be intimidated by all that, and the whole he's Captain America.”

Libby shrugged. “I kind of am. I mean, I almost peed my pants when I realized who he was. There was the guy Uncle Phil talked about so much and everything. I'm not that bad anymore, it's just hard to put aside the Captain America thing sometimes. I think last week helped me realize that it wasn't who he was, not completely. He's just really nice and sweet. Plus, hello, hot.” Libby sighed and shook her head. “Regardless of all that, I really don't think I'll be asking him out, even though I really want to. I don't want to make him uncomfortable or anything, and I got school.”

“You'll never get laid that way, sis,” Darcy taunted, though her heart wasn't really in it. Listening to her sister made her realize that this was what it was like to have a normal crush. She honestly didn't see Steve and Libby working out in the long run, but watching the light in Libby's eyes, seeing her take the first tentative steps into something that could bloom into more than a crush, it all hit Darcy hard. She had that last year with Clint and it had been so nice. Now everything was confusing and complicated and just not normal. A very small part of her wished she was in Libby's shoes.

Libby flipped her sister off. “Say what you will, but sex doesn't even enter the picture, not really.”

“I can see why,” Pepper said with a grin as she refilled the wine glasses. “I don't see Steve as a sex outside of marriage kind of guy.”

Jane let out a sigh and sipped her wine. “That would be pure hell on any woman who dated him. He's built for sex, you have to imagine he's a bullet in the sack.”

“Jane Foster!” exclaimed Darcy with a hoot of laughter.

“I think someone missing their god,” Natasha pointed out dryly.

Jane blushed but didn't bother to deny it. Libby flushed and quickly changed the topic to Stark Industries, not wanting to talk about her, Steve, and sex anymore. She looked at Pepper and asked her about working at SI, drawing Jane into the conversation since she had first had experience working with Tony. While they talked about that, Darcy gave her attention to Natasha, who was staring at her, making the younger woman shift on her feet. “So, what held you up? Want some ice cream? I think we have some left.”

“The wine is fine. Clint talked me into going out for some pizza. Apparently you're the only other person who likes pineapple on their pizza besides us and he didn't feel like eating alone.”

 

OoOoO

 

Tony got a gleam in his eyes like Christmas had just come early. “Oh really? So Cappie has a thing for the youngest Lewis sister.” He grinned at Clint and gave Steve an appraising look. “I guess that explains all the trips to campus to 'check and make sure Miss Lewis is okay'.”

Steve sputtered and protested. “That was the truth. Unlike you, Stark, I don't have hidden agendas.”

“I wonder what Darcy would say about you having a crush on her little sister?” Clint mused out loud. “She just about bit Tony's head off the first time he flirted with Libby.”

Steve looked at Tony, completely outraged. “You flirted with her? She's young enough to be your daughter!”

“She's young enough to be your granddaughter if you want to get technical about it,” Tony pointed out with an amused chuckle, not at all intimidated by Steve's anger. “You really want to get all outraged at my friendly flirting when you're robbing the cradle yourself?”

“I am not interested in her like that,” Steve said stiffly, though his cheeks were still flushed. “I just thought that with Darcy gone, someone should make sure that Miss Lewis was getting along okay.”

“Me thinks he doth protest too much,” Tony teases.

“You really like Shakespeare, don't you?” Clint asked.

“Romance, tragedy, comedy...the man wrote it all,” Tony said with a shrug.

“I'm not protesting anything,” Steve claimed. “I'm sure that Miss Lewis will make someone a lovely wife someday, but I'm not interested in getting married.”

Tony and Clint looked at each other in amazement. The guy really was old fashioned. Tony held up a hand in question. “Wait, let me get this straight. You not wanting to date Libby, it has nothing to do with age difference or the fact that you are still adjusting to this century, but it's because you don't want to marry her?”

“Yes,” Steve answered with such an earnest expression that Tony almost choked.

“You do know,” Clint started slowly, “that you don't have a marry a woman just because you date her.”

“Why would you date a woman and not marry her?”

“Are you really telling me that back in the day if you took a girl to the sock hop then you had to marry her?” Tony asked incredulously.

“Wrong decade, Stark,” Clint hissed.

“My point stands!” Tony insisted then chuckled. “Actually that would probably explain why my dad married my mom.”

“Oh please, let's not get into your daddy issues,” Steve said with an eye roll. “We'd be here all night. We get it. You don't like your dad. Get over it.”

Clint whistled under his breath and eyed Steve with a new appreciation. He didn't think the man had it in him to be that cutting.

Tony narrowed his eyes and took three steps towards Steve and shoved him. “Watch it, old man.”

Steve shoved back. “Or what?”

Clint looked between the two men and rolled his eyes. If they were wolves, their hackles would be raised. He knew he had to diffuse the situation so he borrowed a page from Darcy's book. He pulled out his phone and opened the camera app and aimed it at the two of them. “If you two kiss, I'm taking a picture and sending it to Darcy and the girls. I'm sure they'd love it.”

Steve blushed and backed away from Tony so quickly that he stumbled and fell back into the pool table. “Agent Barton!”

Tony tilted his head and rubbed his chin. “Be sure to get my good side.”

“You think every side is your good side,” Clint told him.

“Well,” Tony said with a sly smile. “that is true. I really don't have a bad side.”

“I could name a few,” muttered Steve.

“Steve, getting back to the dating and marriage thing. Women today don't expect a ring if you take them out to dinner a few times. Usually couples nowadays date for several years before getting married,” Clint explained before Tony could say something back.

Steve blinked at Clint. “And this is normal?”

Clint nodded and clapped Steve on the shoulder. “So if you ask Libby out, she's not going to expect marriage.”

“She may expect sex,” Tony offered.

“Oh Christ,” Clint groaned and fantasized about killing Stark. He just had to stir the pot.

Steve jerked and stared at Tony. “What the hell?”

“Oh look, Golden Boy swore. Someone alert the media,” Tony drawled sarcastically.

Steve ignored Tony and looked at Clint, a bit of panic on his face. “Is he right? Would she expect sex?”

Tony smirked and sipped his Scotch. “Thought you weren't interested in dating her.”

Steve glared at him but said nothing and turned back to Clint, clearly expecting an answer.

Clint shuffled uncomfortably where he stood. This was something he really didn't want to discuss but he realized that maybe no one had talked to Steve about the change in women and sexuality over the years. He had no idea if Libby would want to sleep with Steve or even date him, but Steve honestly looked a little frightened by the idea that sex was even an option when it came to dating.

He finally shrugged. “I have no idea. I know that some women don't have a problem sleeping with a man on the first date and others wait to have sex. It's really just a personal choice.”

“Why? Sex is for after marriage,” Steve stated with an expression of disbelief on his face.

 

OoOoO

 

Darcy bit her lip as she stared at Natasha. She wanted to ask and she didn't. In the end she couldn't help herself. “How's he doing?”

“Better now that you are back,” Natasha answered honestly. “He really does respect you a lot.”

“I thought he did too,” Darcy said with a hint of sadness. “But I think he's proved that he doesn't, or not as much as I thought.”

Natasha stared at the younger girl and debated over what to say. She knew what Clint was going through, she'd been there herself. You couldn't explain what it felt like to have someone else controlling every move you made to someone who had never experienced it. She knew that she had nightmares about her time before S.H.I.E.L.D and even though Clint didn't admit it, he had nightmares too. He was doing better, but it wasn't the kind of thing he was going to shake off in just a couple months.

“What Clint experienced, what he's going through now...as much as you might think you'd understand, you can't,” Natasha said flatly, her voice even.

Darcy frowned. “I could give it a try.”

“No, Darcy, you couldn't, because nothing your imagination could concoct will ever match the way it feels when someone takes over your mind and forces you to do things you never would otherwise. There's no way to imagine how you feel, trapped in your own mind, beating at the walls that hold you prisoner. Or how you feel when you are finally free and have to live with the chaos and carnage your own hands had a part in making. That's blood that will never wash away.”

Natasha thought about it for a split second, warring with her own need to keep her secrets and the desire to make Darcy understand. She glanced around and made sure that the other three women were still occupied in their discussion on Stark Industries before lowering her voice to whisper, “I was in a similar situation to Clint once. I'm only telling you this because Clint needs someone who can help him deal with the regret and pain. Clint was there for me. But as much as I love him and want to help him, I don't think I can be there for him like he needs because I won't survive having to relive my own past again. It almost broke me, Darcy.”

“You are the strongest woman I know,” Darcy whispered back, her heart pounding at this point. “I find it hard to believe anything could break you.”

“You didn't know me back then. Trust me when I say that Clint needs you, even if he won't admit it. And he won't until he's forced to.” Natasha raised her voice and finished her wine. “Think about what I said. Thank you for inviting me.”

Then just like she appeared, Natasha vanished. Darcy cradled her wine and stared at the empty spot Natasha had just vacated. Her mind was racing and she wasn't sure if she could handle the banter and teasing with the other women. There was too much to think about.

Jane looked up and noticed Darcy was silent and alone. “Did Natasha leave?”

Darcy jerked at the sound of Jane's voice. She gulped down the last of her wine and nodded. “Yeah, she had things to do before tomorrow. Look, I'm tired so I'm just going to head to bed.”

Pepper glanced over her shoulder, pausing in her explanation of just what an intern at Stark Industries was expected to do. “You do look a little tired, Darcy. We'll see you tomorrow at the Tower?”

Darcy nodded. “I'll be there. Libby, don't stay up too late, you have an early class.”

Libby made a face and waved Darcy off. “Yeah yeah, whatever.”

Jane giggled at Darcy's face and smiled. “Go to bed. I'll make sure we don't stay too late.”

“Coming from you that isn't very reassuring since you regularly lose track of time,” Darcy teased. She grabbed the bottle of wine to take with her before leaving.

 

OoOoO

 

Tony took one look at his earnest expression and doubled over in laughter. Clint glared at Tony and shoved him. Tony had just enough to drink that his balance was off and he stumbled into a wall. Clint rolled his eyes and turned back to Steve.

“Look, man, you know that things are different in this time. Sex isn't taboo like it once was. People have embraced their sexuality. It's no longer spoken about in whispers or behind closed doors. Sex before marriage is completely acceptable, though there are couples who do wait until they get married to have sex. It's just a personal choice and something that you have to talk about with your partner, whoever they may be.”

“And Libby...?” Steve asked, his voice trailing off.

Tony let out a wild laugh from by the wall, “Gotta say Rogers, you aren't really sounding like you aren't interested in her.”

Clint held his hands up in an 'I don't know' gesture and shot Tony a glare. “I have no idea. It isn't like I've asked her. Darcy would probably taser a man for even thinking about Libby and sex in the same thought.” 

Tony leaned against the wall and snorted into his tumbler of scotch. “Oh man this talk has turned really girly. I propose that we braid each others hair and paint our nails while discussing whether or not Justin Bieber is hotter than the Jonas Brothers.”

The whole sex thing was starting to make him uncomfortable so Clint was actually relieved when Tony broke in this time. Not just because he did not want to be thinking about Darcy's little sister and sex, but because talking to Steve about relationships and realizing that maybe Steve was ready for a relationship was making Clint think that maybe he wasn't ready for one and that he might not ever be ready. Normally that wouldn't bother him, but he'd been having these dreams about Darcy and that night in New Mexico and that wasn't helping his mental health.

Clint fluttered his eyelashes at Tony, grateful for the change in topic, and said in a high voice, “Please it's all about One Direction, what rock have you been hiding under?”

“I don't even want to know how you know about that boy band,” Tony retorted.

“Oh like you listening to Bieber and the Jonas Brothers isn't equally horrifying?” Clint shot back.

“I'll be honest, I have no idea what you two are talking about,” Steve admitted, causing the other two men to chuckle.

“JARVIS, please play Bieber's Believe,” Tony requested with a evil grin.

The music began to play instantly and the three men stood there and listened for all of twenty seconds before Steve shouted, “Turn it off! Turn it off!”

There was silence a moment later. Steve looked at Tony with disbelief. “You like him?”

“Only in the same way I like a prostate exam.”

“So...a lot?” Clint joked.

“Oh yeah, you know me. I love being told to turn my head and cough,” Tony said dryly.

“Does Miss Potts know about this secret fetish of yours?” Steve asked with a completely straight face.

Tony jerked a thumb in Steve's direction and asked Clint, “Is he being serious or is he being sarcastic?”

Clint rubbed his chin as he looked at Steve, who was blinking innocently at him. “You know, it really is hard to tell, but in this case, I'm going to say sarcastic. I think Darcy has been giving him lessons.”

“That really wouldn't surprise me,” Tony admitted as he moved back to the bar to fix another scotch.

Steve gave a little shrug. “She was rather insistent that I learn the fine art of sarcasm. I fail to see how that will help me adjust to this time.”

“Seriously, after living with that man,” Clint said pointing at Tony, “and you fail to see the value of sarcasm? Steve, man, we have got to educate you more.”

“Is that even wise at this point?” Steve questioned, noting how much Tony had drank and how Clint couldn't stop grinning.

“Well, unless you want everyone to think you are gay...Hey are you gay? Is that why you don't want to ask Libby out?” Tony asked with a gleam of humor in his eyes. “Because, being gay in this day and age is perfectly acceptable as well.”

“I am not gay,” growled Steve. “Why would you think I'm gay?”

“Well, it's just, you're so pretty,” Tony said with a smirk.

Clint laughed before he could stop it. Guys night was turning out to be pretty damn entertaining.

 

 

 

 

 


	27. What Happened In Budapest?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shared late night phone call

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Darcy walked down the short hall to the largest bedroom, the one she claimed as her own. The black, bright magenta, and cyan shades of her comforter beckoned her and Darcy fell face forward on the soft fabric and screamed into her pillow. She was sure that Natasha thought she was being helpful, but really, the only thing that the older woman had done was make Darcy think more about Clint and what to do. Rolling over, she sat up and uncorked the bottle of wine. Drinking straight from the bottle, she began to sort through how she was feeling after Natasha's confession.

She realized that for Natasha to share something that personal with her was a big fucking deal. Natasha didn't go handing out her personal history like candy. In fact, as far as Darcy knew, the only ones who knew everything about Natasha were Clint and Director Fury. It showed an insane amount of trust and respect on Natasha's part to share that much with her. Darcy wasn't even sure she deserved it. It wasn't like she and Natasha were close. The only things they had in common were the self defense lessons and Clint.

Clint. He was the real reason Natasha had shared so much. Natasha was more worried about the archer than she previously let on. She was too worried and too afraid of herself to help him in the way he needed. Her own admission told Darcy just how worried the older woman was. Knowing that Natasha, who always remained calm and focused no matter what, was worried made Darcy's issues with Clint look shallow and petty.

So he had held back the truth. It had hurt and made Darcy trust him less, but really, ultimately, it wasn't that big of a betrayal, right? Trust could be rebuilt and hurts disappeared over time. Clint had apologized, which went a long way in soothing Darcy's hurt feelings. Other than remaining honest and truthful with her, Darcy really didn't see any way of how Clint could make it better.

It really boiled down to one thing: Just how mature was Darcy willing to be in this one matter? She could be bratty and childish and make Clint grovel. It sounded satisfying, but he needed her. She could accept that it happened and move on. It wouldn't make the insult of Clint not trusting her go away, but time would take care of that. There would always be a small part of her that resented Clint for not being entirely honest, but could she really hold that against him when they were just friends?

No, Darcy realized with clarity. It wouldn't be fair to hold it against Clint when he had no idea just how much she really cared for him. That was her fault, for keeping it to herself. She had no one to blame but herself for walking away from Clint that night in New Mexico and giving up on the chance of seeing if there was something more between them. Just because she loved him did not mean she could act like the betrayed girlfriend.

Plus, Darcy knew that even if they had been more than friends, Clint had a right to protect his own feelings. He hadn't done it to be cruel or hurtful. He hadn’t done it to be malicious or dishonest. He had kept it from her to protect himself. It had been defensive and Darcy couldn't hold that against him.

It annoyed her just a little that the little voice in her head, reminding her of all this, sounded exactly like her grandmother. Miles away and Lucille was still schooling her.

He had apologized. She had apologized. They both knew mistakes had been made and were mature enough to try and learn from those mistakes. Being petty wouldn't help. Things wouldn't just go back to the way they were overnight, but being willing to try and repair their friendship was the first step. And Darcy was willing to do that. If anything else happened, well then it happened. All Darcy could do was try and fix what was broken and help Clint before he ended up doing more damage to himself.

Darcy closed her eyes and reached for her phone where it sat on the bedside table. She pressed a button without looking and held the phone up to her ear.

 

OoOoO

 

Clint probably should separate his teammates since the two men looked ready to throw punches but at that moment his phone rang. So he ignored Steve as he got back in Tony's face after another snide remark and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Darcy's number glowed on the display and he smiled as he answered it. “Hey.”

“Hey asshole why didn't you ask me out to pizza?” Darcy's voice rang in his ear.

Clint frowned and moved out of the game room as the bickering between Tony and Steve got louder. “I didn't know I was supposed to.”

“I love pepperoni and pineapple. I never get to have it. Libby always makes me order sausage with mushrooms,” Darcy complained.

“I thought you liked mushrooms,” Clint asked as he made his way to his rooms.

Darcy huffed and Clint could almost see her roll her eyes. “That is so not the point. I wanted pepperoni and pineapple!”

“So next time I'll ask you,” Clint told her as he closed his door behind him. “I thought you were doing a girl night thing.”

“Is that your way of asking why I called you?” Darcy asked with a giggle.

Clint realized that she was slightly drunk and smiled to himself as he sank down on the couch. “Yeah, I guess it was.”

“I sort of lost interest when Jane, Libby, and Pepper started discussing working at Stark Industries,” Darcy confessed. “Plus there was talk about Steve's more appealing features. I mean more power to them for admiring that much of Captain Muscles, but I think of him as a brother and speculating on his bedroom skills and whether he's the type to have sex before marriage kind of just squicks me out.”

Clint started laughing. He honestly couldn't stop himself and he could hear Darcy's amusement when she asked, “Clint, you okay? You sound like you are losing it.”

He wiped a tear from his eye. He hadn't laughed that hard in ages. “Only a little bit.”

Darcy smiled and shifted on her bed. She'd missed that laugh. Hearing him laugh so spontaneously and freely like that reminded Darcy of their time together in New Mexico. This one single moment was more like their friendship in New Mexico than the two weeks they’d tried to force it.

“Share the joke,” Darcy demanded when Clint started to chuckle again.

Clint sucked in a breath and wheezed, “It's sort of one of those things where you had to be there.”

“That's really unfair,” Darcy whined.

“You'll survive. I will say that the next time Steve is in a room with Libby it will be really interesting,” Clint admitted.

Darcy's eyes widened in realization and she began to snicker. “Oh man, Steve likes Libby?”

“Maybe? He blushed when she was mentioned,” Clint offered by way of explanation.

“That's adorable,” Darcy squealed, making Clint jerk the phone away from his ear.

“It is?” Clink repeated.

“Of course it is. Libby has a crush on him. And if he likes her, even a little, well it certainly explains why he was showing up to walk her to her dorm every night while I was gone.”

“According to him it was to make sure she was doing okay.”

“I call a big fat pile of bullshit on that. Aw, Captain America is crushing on my baby sister. Uncle Phil would be so proud.”

“Coulson would wet himself from the excitement of possibly having Captain America in the family,” Clint teased gently, aware that this was possibly the first time that Darcy had spoken of Coulson without being sad or depressed. “Or, you know, jealous.”

“Probably jealous. I used to tease him about his man crush,” Darcy replied before giggling. “Oh man, Steve and my sister. I can see it now, next thing you know he'll be putting frogs down her shirt and pulling on her pigtails,” Darcy joked.

“I think that would just make Libby punch him. She doesn't seem like a frogs and hair pulling kind of girl.”

“She hates frogs,” Darcy confessed breathlessly. Just the image of Steve lingering behind Libby to put a small frog down the back of her shirt then trying to look innocent while she freaked out made her laugh.

Clint laughed. “Don't let Tony know that. He'll be telling Steve to do it.”

“Tony is dangerous with knowledge,” Darcy observed. “I bet, if he had more focus, he could take over the world.”

Clint thought about that for a minute and then shuddered. “That's a horrifying thought.”

Darcy chuckled, sounding a bit sinister to Clint's hearing. “And I'd be there, the power behind the throne!”

“Okay, you two are no longer allowed to play together,” Clint told her as he shuddered again. The image that concocted was just a little too scary to be made into reality.

Darcy pouted into the phone. “But then who would I play with?”

'With me' was on the tip of Clint's tongue but he stopped himself before it slipped out. “We'll find you someone. Pretty sure I'll be haunted with the image of you and Stark taking over the world for the rest of my life now.”

“Kittens and lemurs for everyone!” Darcy cheered and then giggled. Her head was feeling a bit woozy and she figured she was finally hitting the hilariously stupid stage of being drunk.

“Just how much have you had to drink?” Clint asked with a light chuckle, concealing the rush of concern he was feeling. New Mexico flashed before his eyes and he swallowed hard against the erotic images that filled his mind.

“Just enough to feel really good right now,” Darcy admitted and sighed, snuggling back into her bed. “But not so much that I'll do something stupid that I'll regret for the rest of my life.”

Her words triggered something in Clint and he wondered if she ever had second thoughts about that night. Just thinking that she may regret it, an issue that cropped up in his mind more often at night when he was alone with nothing to do but think, twisted something in Clint's heart. Suddenly he just had to know. It was unfair to question her when she was drunk, but he just couldn't stop herself.

“Do you regret that night on the roof in New Mexico?”

Darcy had been squinting at her ceiling, trying to figure out if the blob looked more like Thor's hammer or Steve's shield, so his question caught her off guard. She answered without thinking. “It was the best almost sex in my life.”

Her brain caught up with her mouth seconds after the last word faded and she squeaked.

Clint was both stunned by her immediate answer and amused by the little squeak at the end. “Well, that's...flattering.”

“Oh shut up, like it wasn't the best you never had,” Darcy snapped. “I can't believe you asked me that.”

“I honestly didn't mean to,” Clint responded softly. “Wait, no that's a lie. I did mean to. But only because...” He trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Darcy bit her lip and closed her eyes. The fun floaty feeling had disappeared, leaving her feeling snappy and disgruntled because this was reality. This was what it was like being involved with Clint on any level these days. Fun and lighthearted one moment, then down and depressed the next. Walking through a minefield would be less dangerous than navigating Clint's moods. It was hard not to snap at him, but Darcy couldn't quite keep the thread of anger out of her voice when she spoke, “I get that you feel insecure after Loki, Clint, and you don't trust yourself that much these days. But shit like that? If you have questions, save them for when I'm sober, not when I'm drunk. It's not playing fair.”

It was the first time since she confronted him that Darcy brought up Loki when talking to him. He didn't know what it meant. Either she was just saying that to comfort him, she was just that angry with him, or something had happened that got her over her reservations. Clint was willing to bet on it mainly being the latter, given that Natasha had said she'd talk to Darcy and went over there after parting ways with him. Maybe some anger as well. It had been unfair of him to ask, knowing she was drunk and her guard was down.

“I'm sorry,” Clint apologized. “It's just, hell I don't know.”

“You thought because I was really drunk that night I'd regret it. But I don't,” Darcy whispered and blew out a breath. She knew she said she'd let things progress as they will, but something urged her to make Clint understand how she felt. She couldn't explain the impulse, had no idea if it was because of the alcohol impairing her judgment or what. She exhaled softly and confessed, “The only thing I regret about that whole situation is that I lied to you the next morning about not remembering. I really did think I was protecting you and your job, but maybe I was just protecting myself as well. I don't know. I'm discovering that there's a whole lot about you that I don't know.”

Clint nodded, then realized she couldn't see him. It was almost eerie how talking to Darcy on the phone felt like he was talking to her in person. There wasn't that usual separation he got when he spoke to someone on the phone. “Why would you be protecting yourself?”

Darcy pulled the phone away from her ear and frowned at it and said loudly, “You can't see it but I'm frowning. That's one of those don't ask drunk Darcy questions.”

Clint chuckled. “I'm sorry. So if I can't ask you questions, what can I do?”

“Tell me about Budapest,” Darcy said immediately. “Natasha refuses to share and dammit I want to know.”

“So you want a bedtime story?” Clint teased.

Darcy giggled. “Yes. Tell me a story so I can go to sleep.”

Clint shifted so that he was stretched out on the couch and sighed. “Fine, get comfortable and I'll tell you about Budapest.”

Darcy cheered. “Yes! Hold on, let me take off my pants.”

She tossed her phone on the bed and wiggled to get her pants off, not hearing Clint's muffled groan of torture. She scrambled beneath her blankets and rolled on her side, cradling her phone between her ear and the pillow. “Okay, I'm set. Tell me a story, Hawk Boy and make it good.”

Clint chuckled and began a long winded elaborate tale about Budapest. Darcy was lulled by the easy cadence of his voice, even though she realized half of what he told her was pure bullshit. She made sleepy noises of protest when he'd trail off, so Clint kept going, adding more detail to drag it out. Eventually he heard soft snores and realized that Darcy had finally fallen asleep.

Feeling more content than he thought he would, he thought about how easy it had been to talk to her. It was a relief to realize that the easy camaraderie hadn't been completely lost and that it was possible to get it back. He fell asleep with a smile curving his lips, the phone pressed against his ear listening to her soft snores.


	28. Sparks Ignite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to head back to New Mexico for some field testing on Jane's Bifrost device and Clint and Darcy share a...thing.

 

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

 

Darcy barged into Tony's lab and let the tablet she held fall to the table with a clatter loud enough that Tony, who was bent close to something with a smoldering rod, let out a curse and jerked back, banging his head against DUM-E. He grabbed his head with another curse and whirled on the robot, who was backing away with whirling noises and beeps. “You! You are becoming a turn table, I swear to God!”

“Well that isn't very nice. I don't think DUM-E would make a nice turn table. Maybe a disco ball,” Darcy commented.

“Maybe I should turn you into a disco ball,” Tony grumbled, rubbing his head. “What was that for?”

Darcy gestured at the tablet and glared at Tony. “We are going to New Mexico tomorrow?”

“Yes?” Tony prompted.

“A day's notice? That's all?!” Darcy shrieked. “What kind of moronic male decision was that?”

“Apparently a moronic one,” Tony jeered. “I don't see what the problem is. It isn't like we'll be there for days. Just long enough to test out the device. If it works, we'll have Point Break back, if it doesn't, then we start back at square one.”

Darcy squirmed under his stare. He was right. It really wasn't a big deal. Except it kind of was. It had been two weeks since Natasha told Darcy she had to step up and help Clint. Things between them were a lot more relaxed, a lot more with the give than the take. It honestly felt like they were back in New Mexico. The only thing hanging over their heads was their hesitation in talking about Loki. It had been mentioned casually before, but never anything in depth. Darcy was being a chicken about it and admitted it freely whenever Natasha confronted her.

It just seemed to her that Clint should be the one who took that step and approached the subject first. Really, to Darcy's thinking, if she brought it up first, she'd just come off as more curious than concerned. But if Clint mentioned it or started talking to her about it first, then it would be concern on her part to ask questions and draw him out. Clint needed to heal, but he had to want to heal before she could actually help him. She'd learned from the others, pushing him on it wasn't going to get her anywhere.

So she kept Natasha's request at the back of her mind, ignored her own feelings, and was just there for Clint. As a result they were spending more time together without being it awkward. Clint seemed to respond to her openness and willingness to forgive and forget, and since she wasn't pushing, he was more open and honest with her. While they hadn't talked about Loki, they had talked about his feelings and thoughts about how his fellow agents at S.H.I.E.L.D treated him. Jane and Libby had to restrain her after he left the first time they really talked about it. Darcy had been ready to go and taser some agent ass after Clint admitted to feeling ostracized over the whole Loki matter.

Everyone had complimented Darcy on what a good influence she was for Clint. In all honesty, Darcy was just being herself. She wasn't doing anything special. In the last week alone, Clint had showed up at her apartment around nine or ten in the evening three different times. They had spent several hours just talking on the rooftop. They talked about Jane's progress, Tony's ability to annoy Steve just by looking at the man, Natasha disappearing for several days at a time with no explanation on where she's been, and Steve and Libby's awkward but amusing not-courtship. It was, Darcy realized, kind of like getting to know Clint all over again.

Tony snapped his fingers in front of her face, drawing her out of her inner thoughts. She slapped his hand away. “What?!”

“Don't ‘what’ me, kiddo. You invaded my lab, scolded me for not giving you more notice on the field trip tomorrow, and then zoned out on me. I could be doing something really important right now,” Tony snapped back.

Darcy looked down at what Tony was working on and hid a smirk. “Tony, you're messing around with Steve's shield.”

“Like I said, something important.”

“Writing, 'I like pretty pink unicorns that fart rainbows' on Captain America's shield is NOT important,” Darcy said with a smirk. “Fix it.”

“But,” Tony protested.

“No buts, fix it or I'll tell Pepper,” Darcy threatened.

Tony grumbled and frowned at her. “You lack a distinct fun gene, Darcy.”

“No, I have a fun gene. But it doesn't consider vandalizing an American hero's shield to be funny. Cause it isn't. Were you drunk when you had this idea?”

“Maybe,” Tony admitted slowly.

“You aren't allowed to drink anymore, Mr. Stark.”

“My best ideas come when I'm drunk,” Tony countered.

Darcy raised one eye brow and gestured at the half altered shield. “Best ideas?”

“Okay so this isn’t one and I'll fix it. But seriously, good ideas happen when I'm drunk.”

“I think in the interest of preventing you from getting your ass kicked by your teammates, you should start writing down or recording these ideas and send them to me for vetting. This way you actually get to work on your good ideas and have no memory of the bad ideas you think are good,” Darcy informed Tony with a broad smile.

Tony narrowed his eyes and pointed at her accusingly. “Pepper put you up to this, didn't she?”

Darcy shrugged and gave him innocent eyes. “I have no idea what you are talking about, Mr. Stark. I really should go pack. Apparently I'm going to New Mexico.” Darcy turned to leave and looked over her shoulder and said to the ceiling, “JARVIS, make sure he fixes Steve's shield, please.”

“Of course, Miss Darcy. And I will make every effort to record any ideas Mr. Stark vocalizes during his drinking hours and forward them on to you.”

“You are a god, JARVIS, don't let anyone tell you different.” Darcy beamed at Tony and gave him a finger wave as she walked out. She could hear him scolding JARVIS as she walked to the elevator. She rode the elevator up to Jane's office and let the scientist know that the trip was indeed scheduled for tomorrow and that she'd make sure that Jane had clothes packed if Jane took care of packing what they'd need for the experiment.

Halfway to Jane's room, she ran into Clint, who just fell in step beside her, even though he originally was going the other way. She glanced over at him in amusement. “Got an itch to see Jane's unmentionables, Bird Boy?”

Clint winced and missed a step. He recovered quickly and ignored Darcy's laughter. “Actually I was just checking to see if you were okay with this trip to New Mexico.”

Darcy frowned and pushed open the door to Jane's rooms. “Why wouldn't I be?”

“It occurred to me that the last time you were in New Mexico you spent a lot of time with Coulson,” Clint admitted slowly as he stayed close to the bedroom door.

Darcy tugged Jane's luggage out of the closet and looked at Clint and shrugged. “If you’re worried I'll be bothered, I won't be.”

Clint walked over and picked up the luggage and placed it on the bed for Darcy. “You sure?”

She smiled and patted his shoulder as she walked by him, her fingertips lingering just briefly before she pulled away. “It's sweet that you are concerned, but yes I'm sure. I have happy memories of Phil in New Mexico, so really, how can I be bothered by that?”

“Maybe because there won't be any more happy memories?” Clint asked, moving to lean against the wall so he'd be out of the way but still able to watch her move around the room. There was something efficient about the way Darcy packed Jane's clothes, how she just seemed to know what Jane would want. It made his blood simmer in a way he was learning wasn't all that bad.

He wasn't sure when he'd moved past the block he had about his attraction to Darcy. It hadn't happened instantly. But sometime in the last two weeks, he stopped trying to ignore it and began to just live with it. He told himself he wasn't going to act on it. That was a promise that, with every new day, was getting harder to keep.

He'd forgotten that Darcy didn't just talk, she listened. It was easier to talk to Darcy than Natasha sometimes, because while Natasha might understand what he's talking about, she just lacked the empathy that Darcy had. Even when she didn't understand, Darcy had the ability to empathize and soothe. Things he would never talk about with someone else came spilling from his lips when he was alone with Darcy. He just couldn't seem to stop himself and he really didn't want to. Talking to Darcy was cleansing, almost like a confessional, but less religious. He knew he could tell her things and she wouldn't judge or blame, she just accepted and helped him figure out how to accept it himself.

Clint couldn't stay away from Darcy even if he tried. The first time he went to her apartment at night, he paced for five minutes outside her door, trying to talk himself into going back home. But it had been a rough day and he needed to vent. Natasha was gone, again, and Clint wasn't about to go whining to Tony or Steve. So he ended up at Darcy's, sitting on a blanket on the roof of her building, telling her about the visit to the helicarrier and the reactions from everyone on board when he was around. He couldn't say exactly what it was she had done that night, but the two times he'd been called back to the helicarrier after that, he'd been more at ease with himself and the hostile and accusing looks he received hadn't bothered him, and as a result his colleagues were more at ease around him. Even Fury had commented on his more relaxed attitude.

He blinked and Darcy was in front of him, concern written all over her face. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just got to thinking,” Clint told her.

“About?” she questioned.

He reached out and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and smiled, noticing a faint tinge of red on her cheeks. “You and how you've helped me.”

Darcy could feel her cheeks burning but she just couldn't look away from his gaze. His steel blue eyes seemed connected to her own by some invisible string. Neither one of them blinked or shifted as they stared at each other. Darcy felt like she should say or do something, but at the same time the silence around them spoke a thousand words that neither of them had the nerve to say out loud. It felt, to her, that time stood still.

Clint never really noticed how deep a blue Darcy's eyes were until now. He felt like he was swimming in the depths of the ocean just staring into them. Why had he not noticed how striking her eyes were? Unhidden by the glasses she usually wore, they just begged him to drown in them. He reached up and stroked a finger along her jaw, unable to find the words that were stuck in his throat. He felt a jolt when she leaned into the touch without looking away.

Neither were aware of who moved first. One moment they were staring at each other, the next they were leaning towards each other. Maybe it was Clint who lowered his head or maybe it was Darcy who tilted her face up towards his. It didn't really matter because a second later their lips brushed against each other in a hesitant, teasing, testing kiss.

It would seem that along with the other things about Darcy he had forgotten, Clint had forgot how soft her lips were. It might have started out as a tentative kiss, but that was over the instant Darcy brought her hands up to frame his face, her lips parting under his. His hands went to her hips, pulling her flush against him. She made a mewling sound as his tongue glided against her lower lip and then into her mouth. His hands moved up her back, to her neck, and then into her hair, his fingers tangling in the long brown locks.

Darcy whimpered against Clint's mouth, her hands clutching at his shoulders as she tried to get closer, even though it was physically impossible. His tongue teased hers, drawing out the kiss. It was the first she'd had in almost a year. Darcy gave herself over to the kiss, her body pliant against the hard lines of Clint's. Time lost all meaning as she lost herself in the sensation of Clint's lips moving over hers, tempting and teasing. He'd pull away, just long enough to draw in a breath, and then he was back, demanding more. She gave into his demands with a low throaty moan, her fingers clutching at his shirt.

A cough at the door had them springing apart. Darcy's eyes were wide and her cheeks flushed as she whipped her head around to see who had spoiled the mind-blowing kiss. Natasha and Jane both stood just inside the door, wearing almost identical smirks. Only Jane's was more gleeful and Natasha's was...well Darcy wasn't fluent in Natasha smirks so she had no clue. Jane was giving her a very blatant thumbs up, which only made Darcy blush harder.

Clint cleared his throat and she stole a glance at him from the corner of her eye. His cheeks were a faint shade of red but his eyes were laughing at her, twinkling with suppressed mirth. His hand brushed against hers as he moved towards the door. “I'll just leave you ladies to pack.”

Natasha and Jane stepped back so Clint could slip out the door. Darcy watched him leave, her eyes glued to his ass, which was just begging to be grabbed. She licked her lips before she could stop herself and Jane laughed, bringing Darcy back to the here and now.

She glared at the two women who had gone from smirking to outright grinning at her. She pointed a single finger at them and issued one order. “Don't. Say. A. Word.”

Jane and Natasha looked at her then at each other and burst into laughter.

 

OoOoO

 

Clint was smiling and on the verge of whistling as he walked into the kitchen that was shared by everyone who lived on the private floors of the Tower. He hadn't meant to kiss Darcy, but he wasn't going to deny that it had felt amazing. It finally felt like something was going right in his life. She hadn't slapped him or pulled away. In fact, her eager responsiveness gave Clint a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time...hope.

It left him feeling incredibly light and eager. The darkness that haunted him had retreated, chased away by the memory of Darcy's lips against his. How odd that a single act that lasted a few minutes at most had done more to clear his mind than months of failed therapy and forced talks. It was hard to think of the darkness in these moments when she shone so brightly. He didn't want to think too hard on it, half afraid that he might jinx himself, but maybe there was a chance for happiness after all.

After getting a drink out of the fridge, Clint wondered into the media room and found Steve watching a movie. A glance at the screen showed that it was one of the Harry Potter movies. He gestured at the screen. “Darcy finds out you are watching that, she'll be pissed.”

Steve glanced up at him and grinned. “Probably. She was supposed to hang out and watch it with me, but she went on a tear about Stark. She left me to go find him, muttering something about moronic decisions and inconsiderate timing or something.”

“Must be about the trip to New Mexico.”

“Trip to New Mexico?” Steve asked, pausing the movie.

Clint nodded and sat down on the second couch. “Tomorrow Stark, Doc Foster, Darcy, and I will be flying to New Mexico to try out that device that Foster and Stark built.”

“I hadn't realized that she was ready to test it,” Steve commented.

Clint shrugged. “I think she put the final touches on it last night or the day before. Darcy's been busy helping so I don't know a whole lot.”

The look that Steve gave him was thoughtful, making Clint want to shuffle his feet guiltily for the illicit thoughts he had been having about Darcy. Normally Clint wouldn't care if someone could tell when he was having such thoughts, but this was Steve Rogers. There was just so much wholesome goodness wafting from the man that having such erotic thoughts, never mind the fact that he hadn't actually had them in Steve's presence, made Clint feel weird.

Steve grinned suddenly. “You and Darcy seemed to have worked things out.”

Clint's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Had Steve heard about the kiss? No, Jane and Natasha were still upstairs with Darcy and they were the only ones who had seen anything. “Why do you say that?”

“Before when you would mention Darcy, you'd get a little weird to be honest. This time your eyes kind of lit up.”

One eye brow rose. “Rogers, you need to spend more time with men.”

“I think it's swell. She really cares for you.”

This really wasn't something Clint wanted to talk to Steve about. He was just coming to terms with his feelings himself. He didn't like to talk about emotions and the only other person he talked to about his emotions with was Natasha. He just knew from the look on Steve's face he was fixing to get some kind of 'big brother' talk. Which was both annoying and a little appreciated. He didn't entirely understand the concept. If there was anyone he’d give that talk for, it would be Natasha, but she could handle herself and wouldn’t need him to give that talk. But it was nice that Darcy had someone to fill that spot in her life.

Clint held up a hand. “Let me guess, this is the part where you tell me that if I hurt her, you'll break my face?”

The smile Steve gave him wasn't a happy one but it wasn't a threatening one either, it was actually more benign than anything. “I don't have to tell you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you're just a kid from Brooklyn,” Clint said, managing not to sneer when he said the words. “Look, I know you are concerned about Darcy, but I-”

Steve cut him off with a shake of his head. “That's right, I am. She's made it quite clear that she can take care of herself, and I respect that. But, Agent Barton, I think we both know that the two of you are capable of inflicting a lot of pain on each other. So I'm not just concerned about her, but you too.”

Clint stopped messing with his water bottle and just looked at Steve. He was trying to remember if any of his teammates had ever voiced this much concern before, other than Natasha, for just him, not for what he did to Darcy or how his behavior affected everyone else. And he was coming up with a no. So it surprised him that Steve was doing it now. Thor didn't understand enough about the situation to get in his face, and Stark, well Clint figured Stark had decided that Darcy could fend for herself. Steve, however, was a different story.

Steve Rogers was more than just Captain America.. Clint had read the histories and the reports, every agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. had in training. Even before agreeing to Dr. Erskine's experiment, Rogers had a history of standing up to and defending people, it wasn't something that had just happened when he put on the suit.. And since Rogers considered Darcy to be his sister, Clint might have, in some distant part of his mind, been expecting Rogers to talk to him about Darcy. But to acknowledge how much Clint stood to be hurt by this thing he and Darcy had going on? Yeah that hadn't even registered.

He carefully sat his water bottle on the table and considered his words. On one hand he was appreciative that Steve actually said something. Even after his and Darcy's blow up the others continued to tiptoe around him, though it had gotten better. On the other hand, just thinking about what Steve was referring to made his fingers curl and dig into his palms and memories rise. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, pushing the memories back down in the box they belonged in.

When he opened his eyes, Steve was looking at him with concern and understanding. Well, shit, Clint realized in a flash of realization, if anyone understood his issues, besides Natasha, it would be Steve. Look at what happened to him and everything he had gone through. Surely he had his own horrific flashbacks to the aircraft and having to sacrifice himself to save the world.

Even Stark, Clint thought continuing this line of thought, had to be having issues. He had been willing to make the sacrifice in New York, with the nuke. He almost didn't make it. Tony might act like a cocky son of a bitch, which wasn't any different to pre-New York Tony, but just how much of that was reality and how much of it was Tony putting on a front?

And Thor, and this got a little tricky for Clint because thoughts of Thor always lead to thoughts of Loki, wasn't as boisterous as before. Logically, if Clint suppressed everything Loki did to him, he knew that Thor was mourning the loss of his brother all over again. To learn that Loki lived, only to discover he had gone mad and tried to take over a world Thor had sworn to protect? To have to fight him again and bring him back home, to be sentenced, punished, possibly killed? Yes, Thor was suffering.

Dr. Banner was somewhere, doing whatever it was Banner did. Of all of them, maybe it was Banner who had it the worst. Constant worry over losing control, never knowing when the Hulk would be unleashed, the guilt for the destruction he couldn't control.

Natasha, well best not to think about that. He and Natasha had been partners for years and he had a feeling that even he had only barely scratched the surface of her personal issues. He knew enough, though, to know that out of everyone, she knew more intimately what he was going through.

Clint wasn't the only one with issues, but he was the only one who was acting like an asshole about it. He just didn't know how to stop it, not without talking to someone and just thinking about that made his stomach knot up.

He looked up, gave Steve a helpless look, and shook his head. “I appreciate it, Rogers, I do, but I can't talk about Loki.” His chest tightened as the dark thoughts threatened to take over and he inhaled sharply and just shook his head. “I can't.”

“Alright, that's fine. Just think about who you'll be hurting while you keep that bottled up inside and whether they deserve it,” Steve replied with just a hint of steel in his voice, leaving Clint no doubts as to who he was referring to.

Carefully controlling his temper and reminding himself that not only did Steve's jaw feel like it was made out of steel and punching him would be bad for his hand, but that Steve was only trying to help, Clint rose and nodded stiffly. “I'll keep that in mind. I have packing to do. Enjoy your movie.”

He could feel Steve's eyes on him as he walked out of the media room. The buzz he had been feeling earlier was gone, replaced by doubts and second thoughts. Steve had a point and Clint had to remember that. He knew he wasn't fixed and probably wouldn't be for who knows how long and did he really want to inflict that kind of pain on Darcy? That was the crux of the matter, and he didn't have an answer to the question.

Bothered by that thought, Clint spent the rest of his day hiding in his room and packing, trying to decide what he should do next.

 


	29. Back To Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in New Mexico, things between Clint and Darcy come to a head.

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

 

New Mexico was hot. Hotter than New York. Standing in the middle of the desert, at night, watching Tony, Jane, and Selvig, who had rejoined them for this experiment, Darcy kind wished she was back in New York. It may be crowded but it was cooler. The scientists and Tony were arguing about the placement of sensors and the device that Tony and Jane built. Darcy wasn't really needed so she leaned up against the massive SUV Tony had waiting for them at the airstrip. Clint was with them but he had muttered something about checking out the perimeter and disappeared shortly after they arrived. Darcy had a sneaking suspicion that he didn't want to be alone with her after that kiss yesterday.

Jesus that kiss. Natasha and Jane had given her hell over it. Jane actually wondered out loud if Darcy and Clint would have defiled her bed if they hadn't shown up. And naturally when Libby showed up, Jane hadn't wasted a second telling her sister what happened. It was a good thing that Clint hadn't showed up last night to hang out or Libby would have been hell to live with. Darcy's mind still spun thinking about that kiss and what it could possibly mean.

Of course, as much as she'd like to think about the kiss, it just wasn't possible with all the activity going on. Even now Tony, Jane, and Eric were walking back towards her. She glanced around and realized that they had finished setting up. Darcy ducked back into the SUV to pull out the laptops that would monitor the experiment and the tablet that would control the device.

“That's just evil, Darcy,” Clint said from beside her when she popped out.

Darcy let out a shriek and almost dropped the equipment she was holding. Clint reached out and caught the tablet before it could hit the ground. He handed it to her with a grin and she stacked it on top of the laptops before she smacked him on the arm. “Don't do that to me.” She tossed a quick look before the others joined them. “What do you mean evil?”

He just grinned at her before looking at Tony. “We set?”

Jane answered before Tony could. “Only one way to find out.”

She sounded nervous and kept twirling a lock of hair around her finger. She took the tablet from Darcy and opened the program Tony had designed to run the machine that would, at least theoretically open the bridge between Earth and Asgard. She bit her lip and ran through the process one more time, even though she had it memorized.

Darcy rolled her eyes at Clint and moved to stand next to her boss. “Jane, relax. This will work.”

Jane gave Darcy a lopsided smile. “And if it doesn't?”

Darcy clasped Jane on the shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. “First off, it will work. Second, if it doesn't, we'll go over the data we collect and figure out what went wrong and try again.”

“I really want this to work, Darcy,” Jane confided in a low tone. “I have this strong urge to get Thor here, where he's wanted and needed.”

Darcy gave Jane a questioning look, “Okay I know why you feel that way, but I get the feeling you mean something else by that.”

Jane nodded once. “He was banished for disobeying his father. I'm sure they've worked it out and things are just hunky dory now, but I just think that we maybe, I don't know, appreciate him more than they do. It's selfish I know, but I can't help it.”

Darcy slid her arm around Jane's shoulder and hugged her. “Don't worry. Everything will work out.”

Jane's smile warmed. “You're right. We can do this. I just hope Thor is ready.”

“Didn't he say something to you about having some all seeing dude that watches all the worlds? Chances are he knows and he’s waiting,” Darcy said to Jane as they gathered around Tony and Eric, who had finished setting up the laptops. She felt Clint's presence at her back and fought the urge to lean back against him.

Clint stood behind Darcy, closer to her than what was strictly necessary, to watch what the scientists were doing. He heard her breath hitch when he stepped closer and rested one hand on her lower back. He felt the shiver run through her and was glad the darkness hid his smirk. It was like a whole new world opened up for him with that kiss. Darcy had kissed him like she was dying and he was the only thing that was keeping her alive. It made him realize that his feelings for Darcy might be shared. It certainly made the fact that he was insanely attracted to her easier to handle.

He was dying for this adventure to be over. Jane and Tony needed to stop bickering about the alignment of whatever and just get on with it so they could find out if it worked or not. Then they could go back to Jane's old lab and he could drag Darcy off for a talk. He was not going to let that kiss fall into the shadows. They weren't going to ignore it. He couldn't; he wouldn't.

“I think we are ready,” Tony finally announced after he tinkered one more time with the placement of the sensors.

“About damn time,” Clint muttered, making Darcy snort softly.

“You have no appreciation for the fine art of science, Barton,” Tony sneered.

“I'm not really a man who debates and talks things to death. I'd rather just shoot them,” Clint was quick to reply.

“Okay boys, settle down. Let's get this show on the road so we can get Thor back,” Darcy said quickly to prevent the manly stare down and insult session she knew was coming.

“We really don't have time to waste. We have a five minute window before the celestial alignment is off and we have to redo the calculations,” Dr. Selvig reminded Tony when it looked like he was going to ignore Darcy.

Tony made a face at her and gestured at Jane. “This is your show, Dr. Foster. Let's see what this baby can do.”

Jane exhaled heavily and held the tablet up, one finger hovering over the start button. “Here goes nothing.”

Darcy held her breath as Jane activated the device. At first nothing happened and they all just stood there staring expectantly at the the spot ten feet from them. Darcy could tell that Jane had been expecting a more immediate response and murmured softly, “Maybe it just takes a few minutes to warm up, like a car in winter.”

“But it's not winter,” Jane hissed under her breath. “I don't under-”

Jane fell silent when the machine shuddered and then spat a bright blue light out from the top. The glow pierced the heavens, lighting up the surrounding area like it was noon. Darcy shrank back from the brightness, pressing her back against Clint's chest as she covered her eyes with a hand. Clint turned his head, grateful he was wearing his sunglasses, and wrapped one arm loosely around Darcy, more as a reassurance for him that she was still there.

The light seemed to pulse as if it had it's own heart. It grew until it formed a circle whose outer edge ended just inches from where everyone stood. The night, which had been alive with the sound of the nocturnal desert creatures, had fallen silent. Until there was one sound, a heavy thud. A thud that was quickly followed by a voice Darcy never thought she'd hear again.

“My friends! You have finally developed your own Bifrost. It is good to be back on Earth,” boomed Thor, Odin's Son, the light disappearing as quickly as it had appeared.

Jane stared at Thor, who was dressed in a more modified version of the armor Darcy had last seen him in, and her mouth hung open. She made little noises, like the words were trapped in her throat. Darcy grinned and shoved Jane at Thor while Tony called out, “Hey Point Break, welcome back to Earth. And invited this time, must be a nice change of pace for you.”

Jane stumbled forward and Darcy would never forget the look on Thor's face when he saw Jane. It was like Christmas had just come early for the god. He let out a gleeful cry and dropped his hammer to rush to Jane. They met in the middle, wrapping around each other, their foreheads pressed together as they spoke softly.

Darcy turned away from this very private moment, feeling her heart burst for her friend. Tony and Clint followed her example quickly, both wearing amused and thoughtful smiles. They stood with their backs to Thor and Jane for a good ten minutes before Darcy said, “I know they aren't having sex. Are they having sex? Clint, you check.”

“Why do I have to check?” Clint demanded.

“Because if Tony does it, and they are, he'll try to film it. Do you want to be the one who is responsible for breaking up that touching moment because you were too chicken to turn and look?” Darcy explained, ignoring Tony's whispered protest.

“What's in it for me?” Clint asked and Darcy just raised a brow. Then he swallowed hard and said, “Never mind I'll just look.” There was a pause and then, “Nope no sex. Just lots of intense staring and back stroking.”

“That's all I need to know. Start packing up, I'll go break up the lovebirds.” Darcy flashed Clint a quick grin and ran her hand over his arm because she couldn't resist the urge to touch him. She smiled up at him, this with eyes that held heat and promise and made him shift uncomfortably where he stood thanks to his suddenly tight jeans. Then with a wink Darcy was striding in the direction of Thor and Jane, leaving Clint alone to deal with Stark.

Stark noticed the little touch and grinned at Clint. “Score one for the home team with Thor's arrival. Or should it be score one for Team Hawkeye since apparently he got the girl?”

Clint sighed and ignored Tony's taunts. There was just no way he was going to get to talk to Darcy tonight. She'd be busy with Jane and Thor until she passed out. Just his luck. He promised himself he'd talk to her as soon as possible and trailed after Tony, following his instructions on how to gather all the sensors. The night had been a huge success as far as getting a working bridge between worlds. But it was, as Libby would say, 'a total fail' in the aspect of getting some alone time with Darcy. He'd live, he just didn't like it.

He heard Thor's booming laughter and looked up in time to see Thor grab Darcy and spin her around with a cheerful greeting of “Lady Darcy”! He ground his teeth together, reminding himself that Thor was interested in Jane, not Darcy. He had no reason to be jealous. But watching Darcy lean against Thor and give him a peck on the cheek made Clint want to punch the god.

Tony paused in his work and looked to see what had Clint so occupied. Darcy was clinging to one of Thor's arms and Jane to the other as they led Thor to Tony and Clint. Before they could reach them, Tony turned to Clint and teased, “Best get a sign for that woman. I have a feeling that Thor is very touchy feely.”

“Oh bite me, rich boy,” Clint snarled as he wrapped a cord around the spool.

He worked as fast as he could, wanting to get away from the sight that was making him jealous. He was not going to screw his chances by blowing up on his formerly absent teammate. He wanted them out of there so he could drag Darcy away and make it plain she was his. But all the jealous feelings disappeared when Darcy turned and smiled at him. Suddenly he was in no rush.

 

OoOoO

 

It was several hours after they returned to the lab before Darcy was able to excuse herself and leave Thor and Jane alone. It had been a pleasant visit, catching up on what happened to Thor after he left Earth the first time, telling him about all they'd gone through. The one topic they avoided was Loki. Darcy mentioned Thor's brother once and the heartbroken look on Thor's face had her changing the subject quickly. She desperately wanted to talk to Thor about her uncle's final moments, but decided that it would be best to wait until Thor was settled.

Tony and Dr. Selvig had dropped them off at the old gas station/lab and left to stay at a hotel. Clint stuck around to stand guard, so to speak, but Darcy hadn't seen him since they arrived back at the lab. He said something about taking a look around and just vanished. She had a feeling that he was giving her, Jane, and Thor some time together alone and while completely unnecessary, Darcy found the gesture to be sweet.

The separation had given her time to clear her thoughts. She knew Clint wanted to talk about the kiss and she agreed, it wasn't something they could ignore. The best solution was to talk about it now before they got dragged back to real life in New York. Darcy had no idea how different things would be with Thor back, but she had a feeling that things would change.

Darcy headed up to the roof, knowing that Clint would be there. It just seemed the most natural place to find him, the highest point of the building. Plus, they had their own history and good memories that were centered on the rooftop. She pushed opened the access door and winced when it squeaked. It didn't surprise her when she stepped out on to the roof that Clint was there, with a gun aimed at her.

She held up her hands and smirked, “Going to arrest me, Agent?”

Clint grinned. “Why do I feel like you would enjoy that.”

“Only if you frisk me,” Darcy said playfully.

She'd only been teasing, the flirty banter had been automatic. So it surprised her when Clint crossed the distance between them and jerked her against his body. Her hands slapped against his chest in an effort to brace herself and she stared, a little breathlessly up at him. The heat in his eyes sent tingles racing down her spine and all the way down to her toes. For a single moment she forgot why she'd come up here. The only thing on her mind was kissing Clint.

Already rising to her tiptoes to reach his lips, Darcy paused and pulled back. She hadn't come up here to make out with Clint, as enjoyable as it would be. They had an issue and it needed to be resolved. They had too much history and emotion between them to get lost in the lust that seemed to hold them in it's grasp. Passion and lust were fantastic, but not when there was so much at risk. They'd already screwed up once, Darcy didn't think they could afford it again. Already full of regret, she eased back from Clint.

Confused, mind hazed by lust, Clint let her go and watched as she took several steps back until she was leaning against the closed door. He hadn't understood just how Darcy felt about Thor until he'd seen the way she crowded into the back of the SUV with Jane, the two women sandwiching the god between them. There had been so much excitement and squealing on the ladies part over having Thor back, that the trip back to the lab had been almost painful to listen to. As much as he wanted to drag her up to the roof to talk, he went for a walk to give the three time together.

He'd come back after an hour but when he peeked in on Darcy, she was sprawled at Thor's feet, laughing at some story of Asgard he was telling. She was smiling, relaxed and so at ease that he couldn't bear to bother her. So up to the roof he'd gone and waited, knowing she'd find him when she was ready. 

Clint stared at Darcy as she bit her lip. “What's wrong?”

Darcy blinked and smiled at him. “Nothing is wrong. I just think that for the moment it would smarter if we kept some distance between us.”

“Well that's no fun.”

“It isn't supposed to be. We need to talk,” Darcy sighed.

Clint knew that and even shared the sentiment. But standing here, close enough that a few steps would close the distance, he found his desire to talk fading. He had other things he wanted to do, like kissing her again to see if she tasted as good as he remembered or if it had just been his imagination. From the way her eyes kept drifting to his lips, it was a safe bet that Darcy felt the same. Why was it when they were on the roof they always had to do the smart thing? It was like the spot was cursed.

“Okay,” Clint agreed and took a few steps back so he wouldn't be as tempted. “Let's talk. Why did you kiss me?”

Darcy gasped and then huffed, crossing her arms under her chest. “Oh please, you totally kissed me first. I just kissed you back.”

Clint's eyes dropped to her chest and he licked his lips before he made himself look back up to her face. Darcy was smirking so he raised a brow, tucking one hand in the pocket of his cargos. “Baby, maybe you're a little confused. I know I can have that affect on women, but you definitely kissed me first.”

“Wow arrogant much? To be honest, I don't remember much about that kiss after all,” Darcy said loftily. They both knew it was a lie.

“If that's what you want to believe, okay. A little denial can be healthy,” Clint smirked.

She rolled her eyes. She needed to get the conversation back on track before she lost control and threw herself at Clint. Her entire body vibrated with the desire to be as close to him as possible. Having a small taste of what he had to offer just made her crave more. “Whatever. What do we do next?”

Clint shrugged. “I suppose that depends on what you think we should do next. It certainly isn't something we can ignore.”

“You're right. Ignoring things in the past really hasn't gone very well for us,” Darcy pointed out. “I think it would be best,” she swallowed nervously, not really wanting to finish her thought but knowing that it was the wisest thing, “if we just acknowledge it happened and move on. It was a slip, it probably shouldn't have happened.”

Insulted, Clint stiffened as his face blanked. “So you think it was a mistake, is that it? Something to regret?”

Rolling her eyes at his rapid jump to the wrong conclusion, Darcy shook her head. “Do I look like I regret it? If I regretted it, would I be standing here talking about it? Grow up, Clint. We work together, kinda. We have unresolved issues that we haven't been ready to talk about. Do you think getting involved intimately at this point really is the wisest thing to do?”

“What unresolved issues? I thought we were past me lying to you,” Clint demanded, his fists curling into fists. Lust was rapidly being replaced with irritation.

“Well I am, but since you brought it up, maybe you aren't,” Darcy shot back hotly.

“I'm not the one claiming unresolved issues as an excuse to just forget what happened,” Clint retorted.

Darcy drew in a deep breath and released it slowly so that she wouldn't yell. “First off, the lying issue is resolved, so it doesn't have anything to do with this. I don't know how to make it clearer to you, but I've already forgiven you for that. Second, you aren't past it since you brought it up the first chance you got. You act like I'm going to throw it in your face or something. Third, I never said I wanted to forget that your kiss made me completely lose track what I was supposed to be doing, because you have that affect on me. I don't want to act like it never happened. I just think that we shouldn't get caught up in it because it isn't smart. If you can't see that, then I don't know what to do or say.”

Clint flinched under her verbal assault. She was right. The moment she brought up issues his mind had immediately jumped to the past. He hadn't realized it until she pointed it out, but a small part of him had been waiting for her to throw it back in his face. Except it hadn't been her to toss it out there, it had been him. Darcy was being remarkably logical about this whole thing while he was being the emotional one. This wasn't at all how he expected this conversation to go.

He had to tamp down the surge of pride he felt when Darcy admitted that he affected her so strongly. That was all the admission he needed to confirm her feelings for him. But he couldn't allow himself to get caught up in that. There was still the matter of unresolved issues that had to be addressed. He had no idea what she was talking about.

“What unresolved issues are there then?” Clint asked as calmly as he could.

Darcy gave him a sad lopsided smile. “What happened to you when you were captured by Loki.”

Clint stiffened and his eyes hardened. “That has nothing to do with us.”

Darcy's insides fluttered when Clint referred to them as an 'us'. She had to remind herself that it probably didn't mean what she wanted it too. It was one thing for Clint to want her, but she had to remind herself that attraction wasn't everything. Just because he wanted her one way did not mean he wanted everything else with her. She had to remember to keep those separate and not set herself up for heartbreak.

She bit her lip as she considered what she could say. She could see why Clint would believe the whole Loki debacle had nothing to do with them, but she knew it did. It was there every day, a slight shadow in his eyes. The way he held himself apart from everyone just a little. It affected him even though he refused to see it.

“Clint,” she started gently, “whether you like it or not, until you deal with what Loki did to you in a healthy way, by talking to someone, it will always be an issue. I frankly don't care because I know what you did while under his control wasn't you. Your friends know that too. But you refuse to talk to anyone and you carry that burden alone. It affects you even if you deny it and it always will until you can let go of what you are holding in.”

“And are you volunteering to be the priest to my confession? Is that it, Darcy? Do you want to know all the dirty details? Are you that curious? Is this about Coulson?” Clint almost shouted, his face red with anger.

Darcy, shocked by his reaction, flinched away from him. This was not how she meant for this to go. She'd only wanted to let him know that if he wanted to talk, she was here and she'd listen without judging or offering platitudes. Shame and regret clogged her throat, but when Clint threw Phil in her face, that disappeared and anger replaced it.

“Oh fuck you, Barton,” Darcy shouted back, her eyes flashing. “I already said I don't give a fuck what you did and that I don't blame you. I don't give a damn who you talk to. It could be me, it could be Natasha, or Tony, or Steve, or a S.H.I.E.L.D approved shrink. Just fucking talk to someone before carrying around all that guilt, rage and pain breaks you. That's all I care about, whether you survive this because frankly, I'm not sure you will.”

“So you think I'm too weak to handle it without going and whining to someone. That's just fucking great. I'm well enough to kiss and want to fuck, but that's it.” Clint had no idea where the harsh words were coming from. It was a defense mechanism. Loki was a subject he did not like discussing in any fashion. Loki's brainwashing him was even more taboo. He knew, logically, where Darcy was coming from and a part of him could even appreciate it. But all he could feel was the panic that always gripped him when someone broached the subject with him. “I'm glad I found this out before I actually fucked you. Makes forgetting that kiss much easier to do.”

Darcy felt the tears sting her eyes and she blinked rapidly in an effort to keep them from falling. Natasha had told her, once when they were talking about Clint after sparring, that Clint was lashing at at people who pressed him on the Loki issue. It wasn't that Darcy hadn't believed Natasha, she just didn't think that Clint would lash out at her. And she wasn't pressing the issue, at least she didn't think she was. Maybe she was without realizing it. It wasn't like she was standing here demanding that he talk to her. She just wanted him to talk to someone. This....this was a side of Clint she'd never seen.

Heart aching, she sniffed once and looked away so that he wouldn't see the tears she was just barely holding back. Her chest hurt, like a thousand tiny needles had been slipped under her skin and jabbed in her heart. The only thing holding back the sobs that threatened to escape were her nails digging into her palms.

Her voice broke when she could finally speak. There were a thousand things she wanted to say to make it better, but the hurt and anger overrode any desire to soothe things over. “Fuck you. Just fuck you, Clint. I'm only trying to help because I care about you. It breaks my heart seeing you have those moments where everything is just dark and empty for you. I'm so fucking sorry for caring so much that I try to help. You can just keep your pain and rage. I'm done. I know when I'm not wanted or needed and I don't like sticking around just to be a punching bag. I'm going inside and I don't want you to follow. I won't go through this because you refuse to deal with your issues. I deserve better and I know it.”

Clint knew he should stop her. He should grab her and apologize. It was right there on the tip of his tongue. His mind and heart knew he was fucking it up. But that panic and fear had a strong hold on him and he just couldn't shake it. That helplessness that had controlled him when Loki has his mind was overwhelming and nothing he could do would get rid of it. Even driving away one of the few people who never judged him wasn't enough to chase it away. He was helpless and trapped in that vicious loop where all he could see or feel was the emptiness that had replaced his mind when Loki touched him with that scepter.

He watched as Darcy waited for him to say or do anything. When it became apparent he wasn't going to do anything, a single tear slipped from her eye and rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away and turned, slipping through the door and disappearing without a single sound. The door squeaked shut behind her and it was like a tether snapping. Clint could see beyond the void again and he'd taken two steps towards the door before he stopped. Words weren't going to fix things this time. He'd hurt her more than he had when he lied to her. This was...he'd broken her heart. And that was more crippling than anything. His fist slammed into the door before he sagged against it, cursing himself.

 

 


	30. Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't quite the same since that night in New Mexico for Clint and Darcy. Little do they know that there are some meddlers who are tired of their crap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. RL stuff happens, right?

**Chapter Thirty**

 

Clint felt the oxygen wheeze out of him as Natasha flipped him over her hip and he slammed into the floor. The move was performed with a lot more force than she normally used when sparring with him and his only conclusion was that she was pissed at him. Again.

He sucked in a breath and sat up. Natasha stood over him glaring and asked, “Did that hurt?”

“A little,” he admitted. Then he grunted when her foot hit the center of his chest and knocked him onto his back. Before he could sit up again, Natasha had moved beside him and had her foot pressed against his throat with just enough pressure to hold him down. “What the hell, Tash?”

“Did that hurt?” she repeated.

He glared and in a quick move grabbed her weight-bearing foot and jerked. Natasha, off balance, fell backwards, twisting just enough so that her elbow rammed into his stomach. Clint rolled away from her and up to his knees, one arm wrapped around his stomach. Natasha flipped her body up off the ground and stared at him.

“What is your problem, Tash?” Clint snapped.

“I'm just trying to see if kicking your ass will knock some goddamn sense into your hard head since you seem intent on fucking up everything with Darcy,” Natasha growled back as she stalked towards him. “Tell me, is it working?”

Clint stood up, wincing as his stomach throbbed where Natasha had elbowed him. “All it's doing is pissing me off.”

Natasha shrugged. “Maybe if you are pissed off at me, someone who is better suited to defend herself against you, you won't lash out at Darcy again.”

“You don't even know what happened, Tash, so don't start,” Clint retorted.

One brow lifted knowingly. “I know that you're walking around like you have a prickly stick shoved up your ass and that Darcy has been bitchy and miserable since you returned from New Mexico. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out something happened.”

“So you just assume it's my fault?”

“It isn't?” she asked.

“She pushed about Loki,” Clint defended himself, feeling like a complete and utter jerk as he remembered the fight.

Natasha snorted, a clear sign of her disbelief. “Oh please, she did not. That girl has had plenty of opportunities to push you about Loki but she never does. Let me guess, she said something, you took it the wrong way, snapped her head off, she snapped back, you said something you regret, and now she refuses to speak to you.”

Clint stared at Natasha for a second before letting his head fall forward. “I hate it when you do that.”

“I know you, Clint. It isn't hard to figure out how it went down. Especially these days. You snap and snarl whenever anyone mentions Loki in front of you.”

Clint sighed and walked over to where his gym bag was laying on the floor and pulled out a towel to mop the sweat from his face. “I don't know what the fuck happened. One minute we were talking about that... _thing_. The next she's saying we should take a step back because of unresolved issues and I'm snapping her head off left and right.”

Natasha suppressed her own sigh and joined him, using her own towel to swipe away the sweat. “Clint, you have issues. No one is denying that but you. We want to be there for you but you won't let us. Darcy just wanted to help.”

“She said she just wanted me to talk to someone, anyone. And I just...just thinking about what happened, I go back to it in my head.” Clint looked at Natasha. “I can't handle that.”

Natasha kept her face blank, even though she was wincing on the inside. This was the very reason she didn't want to be the one Clint talked to. She wanted to be strong enough for him, wanted to be the one he needed, but remembering her own past, it just...she couldn't do it. And she hated it.

“Clint, we both know that it's PTSD. You need to talk to someone, even if it isn't a professional.”

“I know but I have no one to talk to. The only one I could talk to is you and I won't ask you to carry my guilt and yours.”

“I wish I was strong enough to,” Natasha admitted softly. “But I just can't.”  
“I know and I don't blame you,” Clint assured her.

“I hate being weak,” Natasha muttered,her fingernails digging into her palms.

“If I refuse to talk to you about it, you aren't being weak.”

“Aren't I? If I were stronger...”

Clint shook his head, cutting her off. “You don't have to be stronger, not for this. You saved me and that was enough.”

“If this gets any mushier, I'm going to have to kick your ass again, just so you know,” Natasha said with a faint smile, though it was clear from the doubt in her eyes she didn't feel that it was enough.

He saw and knew that nothing he could say would convince her otherwise. He nodded once, a silent signal that he'd drop it for now. “Agreed. So let's just agree that you aren't the one I need for this.”

“Darcy is,” Natasha said bluntly. “She's exactly what you need but you keep screwing it up.”

“I know,” Clint admitted. “I can't seem to help myself.”

“The hell you can't. Stop snapping at her and just talk to her. You want her but you're going to lose her before you even get her. Then I'll have to kick your ass on a daily basis for hurting that girl and for being unbelievably stupid and I have better things to do with my time.”

“Apologizing isn't going to work for this.”

“So think of something. You're smart.”

“That's no help.”

“Grow a pair, Clint.”

“Why when I can borrow yours?”

Clint let out a wheezing laugh as Natasha punched him in the chest and stalked out of the gym. He packed his things and headed back to his rooms. It had been a tense week at the tower. No one knew what he and Darcy had fought over but it was obvious that they were fighting. Steve and Thor kept glaring at him and Tony kept trying to figure out what happened in New Mexico. Libby refused to even look at him and Jane kept giving him sympathetic looks. And Darcy...well he didn't know if the others were running interference or if she was just avoiding him completely, but he hadn't seen her at all, even when he stopped by Jane's lab to bring her some paperwork from Director Fury.

It was going to be hard to apologize to her if he couldn't even find her to talk to her. He refused to ask anyone to talk to her for him. She couldn't avoid him forever. He'd give her time to cool off and she'd eventually talk to him. He just had to be patient. Only, he remembered how she had looked before she left and he had the uneasy feeling that this was it. Maybe he'd finally fucked up enough that she wouldn't ever talk to him. Just the thought made him cranky.

Which is why a couple hours later, after brooding on his couch, when he left to rummage for food in the kitchen, he nearly snapped Steve's head off when the man just said hi. Clint looked at Steve, who looked at him with disapproval and sighed. “Sorry, man. Bad day.”

“Bad week is more like it,” Steve commented.

“Yeah, well,” Clint said with a shrug. He wasn't a fool, from the way Steve was looking at him, Steve knew that something had happened. At least Steve wouldn’t say “I told you so” like Stark and Nat.

“Uh huh,” Steve said with a look that said he knew exactly what was wrong with Clint. “While you’re here, I need a favor.”

“I'm not really the person to ask for favors,” Clint muttered as he finished fixing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Steve shook his head. “Well, consider it male bonding or whatever.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I might have told Libby that I'd go to this club with her and some friends of hers.” Steve flushed under Clint's amused stare.

“And this has what to do with me?”Clint asked while smirking. He couldn't wait to hear how the youngest Lewis managed to get Cappie to agree to go to a club. Not even Darcy had managed that.

“Nothing, only I don't want to go alone.”

“So this is a date?”

Steve's eyes were less than amused when he looked at Clint. “No, it's a friend doing a friend a favor. I'm not even sure how it happened. One minute we were talking about the differences in clubs in the 40s and now, and the next I was saying sure I'd love to join you tonight.”

Clint sighed and shook his head. “Why me?”

“Why you what?”

“Why ask me to go and not someone else? Like Tony.”

Steve just stared at Clint without saying anything. Clint thought about that for a minute and then laughed. “Right, sorry. Forget I said that. I can see why you asked me.”

“I thought about asking Thor, but...”

Clint was already shaking his head before Steve trailed off. “No, not Thor. That would not end well.”

“Exactly what I was thinking. So you'll do it?” Steve asked.

Clint sighed and kissed his evening good bye. As entertaining as it was to leave Steve hanging, he just couldn't do it. He'd just have to work on his plan to get Darcy to forgive him tomorrow night. “Yeah, I'll do it.”

Steve beamed at him. “Great. Thanks!”

“Don't mention it,” Clint said wearily. “What time are we leaving?”

“Eight. I thought we could grab a bite to eat before heading to the club.”

Clint looked at the sandwich he had just made. He was hungry now. He checked his watch and decided with two hours to get ready, he could eat now and still want more later. “Wonderful. I'll meet you here at eight then.”

Two hours to find something suitable to wear, which would be difficult since his wardrobe mainly consisted of tank tops and cargos. He wasn't sure what non-work related clothes he had. He was already starting to regret agreeing to the night out before it even begun.

 

OoOoO

 

“I don't feel like going out, Libby,” Darcy protested, ignoring the puppy eyes her sister was giving her. She didn't want to get all dressed up to go out with Libby and Steve. The week had been pure hell and she was exhausted. She just wanted to pull on her pajamas and curl up and watch a couple episodes of Gilmore Girls.

Libby smacked a hand down on the counter top and glared at Darcy. “You haven't felt like doing anything since you got back from New Mexico, Darcy. What gives?”

“Nothing. I'm just not in the mood to go out,” Darcy said with a shrug.

Libby had been trying all week to get Darcy to talk about what was happening, but her sister's lips remained sealed. It wasn't like it was hard to figure out, obviously it had something to do with Clint, but Libby wanted to know the details. It had to be something big, otherwise Darcy wouldn't be so closed mouth about it.

“Sis, please. Steve agreed to go but I don't think he realized what he was doing when he did it.”

“Where you wearing that shirt when you talked to him?” Darcy asked, gesturing to the low cut top Libby wore.

Libby flushed and glared at Darcy. “No, I wasn't. I think he might have zoned on me, like he does sometimes. But he's too much of a gentleman to cancel, and well, I think it might do him some good to get out of his head and focus on the now rather than the then.”

“That's not a bad idea,” Darcy agreed. “I still don't see why I have to go.”

“Because I think Steve might be more comfortable with you going. He likes you.” Libby saw Darcy wavering and went in for the kill. “He's worried about you. He told me that he's ready to drag Clint to the gym and kick his ass for upsetting you.”

Darcy bit back a sigh and turned to look at her sister. “So you think if I go with you, Steve will refrain from killing Clint?”

“If he sees that you aren't hiding from everyone because of whatever happened, yes.” Libby had no qualm with the little white lie she'd told. What Steve had actually said that he was going to give Clint a stern talking to if Darcy continued to be in a bad mood. In Libby's world, a stern talking to could translate loosely into an ass kicking.

“I'd like to know when my business became everyone elses.” Darcy grumbled as she shoved the peanut butter back in the cabinet. “I'm a big girl.”

“We love you and don't like seeing you hurt,” Libby explained.

“Well you know what, this is reality. People get hurt. I have no one to blame but myself. I'll get over it. End of story,” Darcy snapped. “I'm so sick of everyone blaming Clint for all the problems. It takes two people to fight.”

“Not always. Sometimes one person fights and the other person just takes it,” Libby pointed out logically.

Darcy gave her sister a look. “Have I ever been someone who just takes it?”

“Well, no.”

“There you go,” Darcy growled as she threw her hands in the air. “Everyone is all poor Darcy, Clint hurt her. Does no one consider that maybe I started the fight? Or that I hurt Clint? Nooo, of course not.”

Libby was startled by her sister's rant. It was true she automatically blamed Clint for the fight, but then, Darcy was her sister. She was always going to take her sister's side. It just never occurred to her that Darcy might have started things.

“Did you? Start the fight?” Libby asked softly.

Darcy froze and stared at her hands. It was a question she'd been asking herself all week as she constantly replied the fight over in her head. She hadn't found an answer and didn't have one now. “Maybe? I'm not really sure. I pushed, I guess.” She shook her head and gave Libby a lopsided smile. “It doesn't matter. What's done is done. We'll work it out. Eventually. I hope.”

“Darcy,” Libby started to say but Darcy cut her off with a head shake.

“I don't want to hear it. Things will work out in the end, they always do. It doesn't matter who started it and who didn't. It happened. Move on. I'm going to go take a shower and get ready.”

Libby watched her sister walk out of the kitchen and frowned. It wasn't like Darcy to just brush things off. She stewed over it. She didn't just back away from the issue because Darcy wanted her too. This was her sister and she hated to see her hurt. The way Darcy was acting almost made Libby call Steve and cancel. But then she remembered what she and Steve had talked about and decided that it had to happen. Whatever the outcome. If Darcy and Clint wouldn't work on things willingly, well they'd just give them a nudge.

Darcy really didn't know why she let her sister get to her. It wasn't like she really believed that Steve would hurt Clint. But maybe he would and then Darcy would feel guilty. She hated the fact that the trouble between her and Clint was affecting the team. It shouldn't be that way. It was just so stupid that a spat could cause so much trouble. She was going to have to suck it up and talk to Clint, fix things. She just couldn't stand being the cause of dissent among teammates.

Steve and Tony meant well. They really did. But they had to realize that just because she and Clint were fighting, it was no reason to gang up on Clint. She'd already dealt with Thor, after he offered to take Clint on a little flight to see if, in his words, the human hawk could fly. After Darcy lectured him, Jane had stepped in and informed Thor that he needed to let Darcy handle things on her own. Between the two of them, they managed to talk Thor down.

She would admit that it was nice to have people who had her back. But not at this cost. So she'd go out tonight, convince Steve she was fine, and then tomorrow she'd hunt down Clint and they'd settle things. They were adults, not high school kids who had to make their friends pick a side. They could be mature about this. 

Darcy slicked on the murderous red lipstick that matched the red fuck me heels she wore and smiled to herself. Going out might not have been her plan for the evening, but she would admit that getting dressed up had it's advantages. There was nothing like making yourself feel sexy to perk up a girl. The little black dress she wore looked stunning with it's fitted bodice that dipped low to show off her amazing cleavage; the full skirt that hit mid-thigh showed off her legs and swirled around her thighs when she turned. It was sexy and feminine and she owed Pepper a thank you for making her buy it.

Libby met her in the living room wearing a white off the shoulder dress that had a riot of bright red and blue flowers sweeping across the skirt. Instead of heels, Libby paired the dress with ballet flats. Coupled with minimal make up and a simple french braid, Libby was the picture of innocence. Well almost. There was a wicked gleam in her eyes and the neckline of her dress dipped almost as low as Darcy's.

“Lewis girls take Manhattan.” Libby crowed as she linked arms with her sister.

“I don't know why I let you talk me into this,” muttered Darcy as she checked her purse one last time.

Libby grinned. “Because you love me.”

“Only because Mom made me,” Darcy teased as they walked out and she locked the door behind them. “Is Steve meeting us here?”

Libby nodded and tried not to look nervous as they walked into the elevator. She had called Steve while Darcy was getting ready and tried to convince him to meet up at the club. It would be more difficult for Darcy to walk away if they were already at the club. But Steve had insisted on picking them up and going out to eat first. Libby told him it was a bad idea, but Steve refused to budge. Her grip on Darcy's arm tightened as they left the eleqvator.

Darcy looked at her. “What is your problem? It's just a night out with Steve.” When Libby looked away, Darcy let out a happy laugh. “Oh are you nervous?! Because of Steve?”

“Only a little,” Libby said, grateful that Darcy thought it was Steve that was making her nervous. “Oh look, there they are.”

Darcy looked through the glass of the building doors and froze mid-step, jerking Libby to a halt when she stopped. Clint was standing next to Steve, looking about as shocked as she was if the slight gape of his mouth was anything to go by. Hard to tell without seeing his eyes but he had those covered with a pair of black shades, despite the growing darkness. She had to stop herself from licking her lips at the sight of him.

He was wearing faded black jeans that were just tight enough to show off the hardness of his thighs, which should have been illegal. A simple gray button down shirt with the top few buttons undone and black leather jacket with the collar popped up hid the muscles of his arms and chest, which was a real shame. One hand was tucked into the pocket of his jacket and she could just make out a strap of black leather wrapping around his wrist.

Darcy grabbed Libby's arm and squeezed it until Libby squeaked. “What the fuck?”

“Damn, Darcy, that hurts,” Libby hissed and tried to jerk her arm away.

“Tell me this wasn't your idea?” Darcy hissed back.

“What? Clint? Um...no?” Libby offered nervously.

Darcy gave her a piercing glare. “You need to learn to lie better, sis.”

“Look, I just thought I'd help.”

“I didn't ask for help,” Darcy moaned under her breath, aware that Steve and Clint were staring at them.

Libby rolled her eyes and jerked her arm free. “Of course you didn't, which is why I did it.”

“That makes no sense.” Darcy licked her lips and looked away from Clint.

“If it makes you feel better, Clint didn't know you'd be here,” Libby offered and then smiled. “From the look on his face, I don't think he regrets coming.”

“Yeah just wait,” muttered Darcy. She considered turning and going back upstairs, but with Clint there watching it would be too much like running away. Which, going by the tiny smirk on Steve's face as he met her gaze, was probably why Steve and Clint were here to pick them up instead of meeting at the club. He knew she didn't run from things. She shifted her gaze to Libby, who smiled innocently. Her eyes narrowed the pieces fell into place. “You so fucking owe me.”

“What else is new?” Libby retorted. “So, you aren't going to go and run?”

“Fuck. No, I'm not going to run. Let's just go and get this over with.” Darcy pulled back her shoulders and fixed her face in an expression of indifference. She'd be damned if she let Clint get to her.

Libby pushed open the doors and went directly to Steve, who was now watching Darcy nervously. Libby looped her arm through Steve's and gave him and Clint a bright smile. “Hello, gentleman. Come to escort us to dinner?”

Darcy stopped so that she stood between Steve and Clint, but closer to Clint than she liked. At Libby's words, she snorted and muttered under her breath. “Don't lay it on too thick, you might choke him.”

Clint overheard and snorted. “I don't think he'd mind.”

Darcy smiled before she could stop herself. Then she remembered that she was annoyed with him and looked away. Clint stared at Darcy for a long moment and beat back the disappointment at her silent rejection. He moved closer to her and asked softly, “I take it this wasn't your idea?”

Darcy whirled on him, her eyes flashing. “Does it look like this was my idea?”

He held his hands up and shrugged. “No, I just wanted to make sure. Your sister is devious.”

“How do you know it wasn't Steve's plan?” Darcy demanded in defense of Libby.

Clint raised one brow. “Steve isn't capable of tricking us like this.”

“Shows what you know,” Darcy muttered as she felt Steve's stare on her back. “He's quite capable of it.”

“Nah, it was her plan and she talked him into going along with it,” Clint said with confidence.

“She was only trying to help,” Darcy defended hotly. He was right but she wasn't going to let him get away with being condescending and smug. “You can't be mad at her.”

Clint's lips curved in a smirk and he started past her, his arm brushing against hers. Darcy shivered at the touch. Clint paused, looked down at her, and said, still smirking, “Who says I'm mad?”

Darcy frowned and watched him join Steve and Libby. That wasn't exactly the reaction she was expecting from Clint. But then, she freely admitted that she didn't know what was going on since she'd been the one to avoid him this time. She stared at him for a few more minutes, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Finally she gave up and joined them.

Clint listened to Libby talk Steve out of dinner while he thought about Darcy. It had been like a horse kicked him in the chest when he realized that Libby's friend was actually Darcy. He was so used to seeing her in jeans, t-shirts, and sweaters that the sight of her in a short dress caused his breath to catch in his throat. The fabric clung to her body, outlining every curve, until it flared out at her hips and swirled around her thighs. And oh god those heels added a good four inches to her height and made her legs look like they went on forever.

He realized very quickly that this was a set up, despite what Steve claimed. He also knew that he really didn't give a damn. It got him close to Darcy and that was all that mattered. He still had no idea what he was going to say to her or how he was going to make up for his horrible behavior the week before, but at least she hadn't just turned and walked away. That had to count for something.

He knew when she joined them, the smell of vanilla and cinnamon reached him first. It made his mouth water and it was in that moment that Clint realized just how far gone he was for the woman. He just couldn't deny it anymore. The moment when just the scent of her drove him crazy, that was the kill shot.

“So, we going to a club or are we just going to stand around outside the apartment building all night?” Darcy asked as she stopped next to Libby.

“Club,” Libby cheered, throwing her hands in the air.

“I thought we'd eat first,” Steve interjected.

Darcy clucked her tongue and looked around. “Show of hands of those who rather go get drunk than eat at this very moment.”

Darcy, Clint, and Libby's hands shot in the air. Darcy gave her sister a dry look. “You can't drink.”

“You didn't say those who could drink, just those who would want to get drunk. I count.”

“But...food,” Steve protested.

Darcy leaned over and patted his arm. “Sorry, Cap, but you've been outvoted. And I hate to say it, but I already ate.”

Libby shot Steve a contrite look. “I ate with some friends before coming home. Spur of the moment thing.”

Clint waved his hand in the air. “You asked me while I was getting food.”

Steve looked disappointed then a little sheepish. “Well, I may have gotten hungry and ate before leaving too.”

Darcy snickered. “You were the one wanting to go out to eat.”

“I just thought it would be nice,” Steve said with a grin.

“Maybe next time,” Libby suggested, giving his arm a squeeze and making him blush.

Darcy had to look away at the adorableness of the whole situation. Clint caught her eye and winked and she felt her heart flutter. Looking away, she cleared her throat. “So club?”

“Let's go!” cried Libby, flinging her arm out to hail a cab.

One came to a screeching halt and they piled in. It was a tight fit with the four of them in the back, but they managed. Darcy ended up sitting next to Libby in the back since she refused to sit by Clint. The two Avengers sat in front of them. The drive to the club wasn't as awkward as Darcy thought it would be. They mainly talked about Thor's adjustment back to Earth and how he was coping with living in the Avenger's Tower, though for security reasons they didn't actually mention Thor's name. Even three months after the battle of New York the names of the Avengers were well known. They'd be lucky if the sight of Steve and Clint didn't cause a stir at the club. 

 


	31. Surrendering to Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night out with Steve and Libby soon turns into something so much more, something that Darcy and Clint will never forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize, again, for the delay in posting. RL just got away from me.

**Chapter Thirty-One**

 

Half an hour later they were in the club. It was one of the smaller clubs in the city, tucked between two warehouses. Still there was a significant enough line that they had to wait for about twenty minutes before getting in. Thankfully no one paid enough attention to them to recognize just who the guys were and cause a scene. 

Libby explained that it had been open for a couple years and was really only known by the college crowd, which is how she discovered it. It was an old converted warehouse with two floors, both featuring dance floors. A bar stretched from one wall to the other at the back of the room. Small tables circled the dance floor and there were booths lining the rest of the wall space.

They pressed through the throng of people, who didn't seem to realize that two Avengers were in their midst. A booth was free and they quickly slid into it before it could be taken from them. Steve and Clint made the girls sit on the inside while they took the outside. Darcy noticed that both men were scanning the area for threats. Since she was sitting next to Clint, she laid a hand on his arm to get his attention.

Because of the noise, Clint had to lean close to Darcy to hear her when she said, “Relax. No baddies are going to jump us here.”

He started and then shrugged. “Can't help it, habit.”

“I know,” she replied. She glanced over at her sister and Steve, who were already leaning close together and talking in low voice. It looked intimate but didn't feel intimate. Especially since every few seconds Libby or Steve would look at the two of them quickly before looking away. Subtle they were not. She raised one eyebrow and looked at Clint. “They are trying way too hard at this.”

“They definitely aren't sneaky. Let's go get some drinks,” Clint answered as he slid out of the booth.

Darcy ignored the hand he offered and banged her palm against the table to get her sister's attention. Libby blushed and looked up. “What?”

“What do you want to drink?” Darcy asked.

“Something fruity!” Libby shouted to be heard.

“Steve?”

“A beer is fine,” Steve responded.

Darcy nodded and slid out of the booth and joined Clint. As they walked away, she looked over her shoulder. Libby and Steve had their heads together and their lips were moving. From the animated way Libby's hands were moving and pointing at them, she was obviously telling Steve that things were going just fine. Darcy had her doubts.

She jerked a finger over her shoulder. “What are we going to do about that?”

“Let them have their fun.” Clint shouted over the noise as he led the way to the bar.

Darcy laughed and shook her head. “At last someone thinks this is fun.”

“Regret coming?” Clint asked as he neatly dodged a pair of obviously drunk frat boys.

Darcy looked around at the crowded dance floor and ecstatic twenty somethings that pushed and shoved around them. The music was loud enough to make a person's ears bleed and the heat from the press of bodies was stifling. It was hell and heaven all at the same time. She looked up at Clint and grinned, shaking her head. “No way. I needed this.”

They reached the bar and leaned against it as they waited for a bartender to get to them. Clint took the opportunity provided by the crowd around the bar to move close enough to Darcy that they were just barely touching. Being this close to her did things to his head, made him forget that they were fighting. It was intoxicating to be this close but not able to do a thing. The startled look Darcy gave him when someone shoved him into her told him that she had felt the jolt that passed between them.

“So you still mad at me?” Clint asked and almost smacked himself. That wasn't what he meant to ask.

Darcy considered the question and shrugged. “Yes and no.”

“Why yes?”

“Because you were a complete dick, Clint, why do you think?” Darcy said loudly.

He reached out and caught her hand in his and rubbed his thumb along the curve of her palm. “I didn't mean to be, you know that right?”

“I know, which is why I'm not as mad, but it still doesn't change things,” Darcy replied as she tugged her hand from his. She could play nice and talk to him, but it was impossible to think with him touching her.

Clint opened his mouth to respond but closed it when a bartender finally stopped in front of them. He eyed Darcy warily as she ordered a virgin drink for Libby, a beer for Steve and himself, a gin and tonic for herself, and four shots of tequila. The bartender fixed the shots first and Darcy paid.

She nudged two over to him. “Bottoms up, cowboy.”

“Not wasting any time are you?” Clint asked in amusement as she slammed back the first shot. She shrugged and picked up the second shot, looking at him expectantly. “Why wait?”

Clint thought about it, shrugged, and tossed back his own shot. They did the next one together, sucking limes as they waited on the rest of the drinks. Before they left with their drinks, Darcy ordered another round of tequila shots. She tossed back the third shot as quickly as the first two, leaving Clint with no choice but to follow her example. At the rate she was going, he figured he'd be pouring her into a cab. He tried not to think that she was drinking because of him.

Darcy's head was swimming as they made their way back to the booth, where Steve and Libby looked like they hadn't moved at all. Maybe it had been a mistake to down that much tequila in such a short period of time, but she liked the rush it gave her. Besides, if she was going to suffer from being this close to Clint, then she was going to be pleasantly buzzed for it.

Libby and Steve managed to pry themselves away from their conversation to talk to Clint and Darcy for a while. Conversation ranged from how much more easily Steve was coping with the the change in decades and when the Avengers would be needed. That made Darcy a little uncomfortable because she had come to care a lot about the guys and Natasha and didn't like thinking of them in danger. 

Then Libby convinced Steve to hit the dance floor. Clint thought about asking Darcy to dance and decided that it was too soon. He'd get her out on the dance floor, he just needed some more liquid courage first. So he disappeared and came back ten minutes later with more tequila shots and refills.

Darcy saw them and laughed. “Trying to get me drunk, Barton?”

“I don't know, depends on if you are still going to be pissed at me?” he asked as he pushed her two shots closer.

She shook her head. “Why waste a good drunk on being pissed? You're a man, it's not like you can't help being a prick on the occasion, though you are severely abusing that privilege.”

Clint couldn't argue with that so he silently toasted her before downing his first shot. With a giggle, Darcy lifted her own shot glass in a return toast and tossed it back. The next shot was gone as quickly as the first. Darcy was feeling more buzzed than before, which was her only defense for her next question.

“When do you think you'll stop being a dick to me at the drop of a hat?”

Clint didn't even bat an eye. “Probably when I pull my head out of my ass.”

“So...never,” Darcy shot back.

“Pretty much.” Clint picked up his beer and considered it before taking a swig. He was surprised that she was bringing this up. He glanced around the club and frowned. “This really isn't the time to talk about it.”

“That's your problem, it's never the time,” Darcy snapped as she tapped her fingers against the table, giving him an annoyed look. “You just want to ignore it like it never happened.”

“No, I just mean if I was going to tell you about everything, it wouldn't be in a crowded club while we were getting shit faced,” countered Clint slowly. “Christ, you think I don't want to tell you? I do, I just can't talk about it.”

““That’s crap. You could if you really wanted to.” Darcy slid out the other side of the booth and rose. “I'm going to go dance.”

Clint watched her leave without trying to stop her. He watched as she disappeared to the middle of the dance floor and frowned at himself. Darcy had been right, it was just an excuse. He could talk about it, he just couldn't talk about it with Darcy. Sure she could probably handle it but he didn't want her to carry it around in her head like he did. He was trying to protect her and even he realized how wrong that was. She didn't need protecting.

Clint was brooding at the table, peeling the label off his beer when a laughing Libby and grinning Steve came back. Libby grabbed the bottle of water Clint had gotten her on his last trip to the bar and drained half of it. She glanced down at Clint, who was glaring in the direction of the dance floor. She followed his gaze and found her sister dancing with a tall black haired man with biceps almost as large as Thor's.

Correctly judging the source of his irritation, Libby looked at Steve and jerked her head. Steve glanced at her, then to Clint, and finally at the dance floor where Darcy was really cutting loose with the shimmies and grinding against the other man. He nodded at her without saying a word and leaned down so that Clint could hear him. “Hey, listen, we’re going to head out. We'll see you later.”

Clint jolted and checked his watch. It had been thirty minutes since Darcy stormed off and he hadn't even noticed the passage of time. He'd been too focused on staring at Darcy as she danced and throttling back the urge to punch the men who danced with her in the face. He half rose but Steve waved him back down. Confused, Clint looked up. “Thought we were leaving?”

“Stay, Darcy looks like she's having a good time. You can escort her home when she's had enough.”

When Clint opened his mouth to protest, Libby pinned him with a single look. “Darce needs this. So do you. Besides,” her lips curved in a sly smile and she winked at Clint, “she's less likely to murder you if she's having a good time.”

“What are the chances of her having a good time if I stay? She's still pissed at me,” Clint said as he glanced back to the dance floor in time to see Darcy laughing at something her dance partner said. Libby rolled her eyes. “I'm sure you'll think of something, Agent. Maybe ask her for a dance.”

“We're just going to grab a quick bite to eat and then I'm going to take Libby home.” Steve said quickly before Clint could say anything else and grabbed Libby's hand, dragging her away.

Clint stared at them, his protest dying on his lips. He turned back to the dance floor with a sigh, lips tightening as he watched the black haired man slide his hands down over Darcy's ass. The frown turned into a grin when Darcy took a step back and smacked the asshole's hand away. Taking one final swallow of his beer, Clint stood up. Libby had a point, he should ask Darcy to dance. 

Darcy had no idea what prompted her to hit the dance floor. She wasn't a good dancer and usually had little patience for all the grabby hands on the floor. But it had been too painful to just sit and make small talk with Clint and the dance floor had been her escape. Now she was feeling tired and her buzz was starting to wear off, plus the guy she was dancing with was starting to get handsy. After shoving his hand away, she turned to head back to the table. 

Clint was right behind her and she barely managed to stop from bumping into him. She narrowed her eyes. “Clint, what are you doing?”

“I thought you might like a dance with someone who isn't going to grab your ass.”

One eyebrow rose. “You mean you won't?”

“And risk your taser? I don't think so,” he said with a quick grin. “Come on Darce, just one dance.”

Ignoring the flutter in her stomach at his beckoning hand and grin, Darcy looked around for her sister and Steve. “I don't see Steve and Libby out here.”

“They left,” Clint commented. His grin grew as Darcy frowned. 

“What do you mean they left?”

“Something about being hungry. Libby didn't want to interrupt your good time and Steve made me promise I'd take you home,” Clint answered without blinking an eye. He figured one little white lie wouldn't hurt. He was sure, after all, if Steve had thought of it there would have been a promise not to leave Darcy alone made.

“Huh,” was all Darcy could think to say. Clint was still holding out his hand and she stared at it as if it was a poisonous snake about to bite her. The look she gave him was dubious at best. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was some ulterior motive here. But the desire to dance with Clint, to be pressed against his body, to feel the strength and warmth of his touch in the only way she could, it was very tempting. “Clint...”

“Darcy, don't think about it.” Clint snagged her hand and pulled her towards him, his arm curving around her waist when she was closer. “Let's just enjoy the moment.”

Darcy pressed her hand against his chest, sighing. Resisting temptation had never been so hard. “We have a history of enjoying the moment and it gets us nowhere.”

It was the way she said it that made Clint release her. Clearly she wasn't ready to be that close to him and he knew better to push. So he stepped back and guided her back to the booth they had previously occupied. Their unfinished drinks were still there and he snagged his beer to finish it as he looked at her. “We can leave if you want.”

She looked around the club, finding his suggest to leave had merit since the club had lost it's appeal with the knowledge that it was just her and Clint. But, she glanced at him from under her lashes, she wasn't ready to leave him. She grabbed what was left of her gin and tonic and tossed it back before looking at Clint. “Know any good bars?”

“Yes.”

“Great, let's go.”

“Shouldn't you go home?”

“I have the day off tomorrow and I'm not done drinking but I am done with the noise and the wandering hands of college guys,” Darcy informed him.

Clint's jaw clenched tight at the thought of someone else touching Darcy and he had to restrain himself from demanding names. Instead he gave a clipped nod. “Let's go.”

The bar Clint found them was quiet and smoky with soft jazz playing. He ordered a bottle of tequila and carried it back to a corner table. Darcy took control of the bottle and poured shots for them steadily over the course of an hour. Conversation was stilted as they tried to avoid talking about them. By the time they finished a third of the bottle, her buzz had turned into a full on drunk and she couldn't stop looking at Clint and licking her lips. 

Clint was aware of each swipe of her tongue against her bottom lip. It was driving him crazy. His cock hardened and pressed painfully against the zipper of his jeans with each pass of Darcy's tongue. The tequila was doing it's job, blurring things until all he saw was Darcy and that little black dress with it's low neckline. He wasn't feeling anything but the urge to drag her in his lap and put that tongue of hers to a better use.

He let out a soft grunt when she started to nibble on her lower lip. “Stop that.”

Startled by the growl that came from Clint, Darcy looked up at him with wide eyes. It really was unfair that someone looked that good. She just wanted to run her fingers along his neck as she nibbled on his jaw. And every time he moved his hand, she saw that damn leather cuff, which just looked insanely hot on him, and she just wanted to crawl into his lap.

“Stop what?” she asked, managing not to slur her words.

“Making it impossible to not look at your lips,” Clint answered. 

“Oh,” Darcy said, biting her lip before she could stop herself. “That.”

This time Clint's growl was louder and Darcy wondered if it was possible for one to spontaneously combust from noise alone. She reached for the tequila and Clint's hand shot out to grab hers. “No more.”

Darcy gasped and almost melted at the wave of heat that traveled from his hand to the place on her arm where he grabbed her and she looked down, afraid of what he'd see in her eyes. His calloused fingers dug into her skin and she raised her head to stare at him. Lust had darkened his eyes and she swallowed before whispering, “I need more tequila.”

Clint rose and moved slowly, giving the impression of a predator moving in on it's prey. His eyes never left hers as he stopped and leaned in close to her ear and whispered back, “No, you just think you do. You're plowed, darling.”

Annoyance had Darcy snorting even as she squirmed in her seat from being so close to Clint's body. “And you aren't? You've had as much to drink as me.”

“I know, which is why I know more isn't the answer.” Clint had leaned closer until his mouth brushed her ear. It teasing him as much as it was her. Her scent was torment and his self control was wavering. “Let's get out of here, Darce.”

“And where would we go?” Darcy asked, her voice a little bit shaky. She had no idea what was going on, but she wasn't completely against it. Something had happened after they'd gotten to the bar and everything had shifted. All the anger and irritation she had felt towards Clint was gone, replaced with something more primal. Her heart was pounding so loudly that it surprised her that no one else could hear it. Her entire body was vibrating with need.

Clint caught her earlobe between his teeth and nibbled, making Darcy's breath catch in her throat. She caught the moan before it could escape but couldn't prevent her body from leaning towards Clint's. His hands settled on her waist and he pulled her to her feet, pressing his body against hers, trapping her between him and their small table. “Does it matter?”

“I'm supposed to be mad at you,” Darcy mumbled, tilting her head to the side to give him better access to her ear and neck.

Clint kept one hand on her hip as the other tangled in her hair. His lips pressed against her throat in soft kisses as he made his way down to the hollow where neck joined shoulder. He laved the sensitive spot with his tongue, almost groaning when Darcy moaned. He pulled away to stare into her flushed face. “The real question is, do you want to be mad at me?”

“If you think you can seduce me into forgiving you...” Darcy said with a bit of heat, trailing off when Clint's teeth sank into her neck briefly then pulled away.

Clint laughed and pressed his lips to hers in a quick kiss. “While I am capable of that, no. Just answer the question, Darcy.”

She gazed up at him, unable to read the emotion shining in his eyes. She licked her lips, feeling that thrill race down her spine when his eyes followed the movement of her tongue. “No, I don't want to be mad at you. But you deserve it.”

“I know,” Clint murmured, drawing her even closer so that she had to brace her hands against his chest to stopfrom smacking into him. “Maybe it's the tequila talking, but I think tonight we should just forget everything. Stop thinking and just feel.”

That sounded like an excellent idea to Darcy and she was positive that it was the tequila talking. So many warnings flashed through her head, telling her what a bad idea this was. Warnings that blurred when Clint lowered his head to nip at her jaw. Suddenly, as her knees weakened and she had to lean against him for support, those warnings just vanished like smoke.

Her voice was low and rough as she dug her fingers into his leather jacket. “Sounds like a good idea to me.” 

Clint grinned, one quick curve of his lips that had Darcy whimpering softly. It was a dangerous grin, one that promised many, many things. “You sure?”

No, she wasn't, but the wetness pooling between her legs was ruling her brain now. She missed her chance once, in New Mexico the year before, and she wasn't willing or ready to give up this second chance. She'd probably regret it come morning, but all Darcy could do was nod and tilt her head back, lips parted. Clint's fingers tugged on her hair, pulling her head back further and his lips pressed against hers.

It was a frantic, hungry kiss, both of them battling for dominance. Teeth nipped lips, tongues stroked over the same spot to soothe away the pain. Sounds were made that weren't at all suitable for a public location. Clint pulled away first and grabbed her hand. “Let's go.”

“Yeah. Good idea,” panted Darcy, her mind whirling from the kiss. Her fingers entwined with Clint's, she let him lead the way out the bar, her eyes glued to his ass the entire way. The night air hit them in the face, moist and smelling of rain. Darcy tilted her head up, drawing a deep breath. The fresh air did nothing to slack her lust and all she could think about was getting her hands on Clint's body.

Clint whirled without warning and backed her up against the outside wall. Her protest was muffled when his lips covered hers and his body pressed into hers. Darcy's hands clutched his shoulders as she felt the press of his erection against her belly. She moaned into his mouth and arched into him, squirming to get closer.

Clint pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. Darcy sucked in a breath and released it, feeling hot all over. She rested her hands on Clint's hips while his hands framed her face. His voice rasped out, full of barely contained need, “Fuck, Darcy.”

Darcy hummed under her breath as she brushed her lips over his jaw. “Yeah I'm wanting you to do that.”

Clint let out a hoarse laugh and pulled away so that their bodies weren't touching. “Keep saying things like that and I'll lose all control.”

Darcy smiled mischievously up at him. “Maybe I want you to lose control.”

“We need to get out of here.”

“Your place,” Darcy said without missing a beat as she leaned into him and nuzzled his neck. Her breath was warm against his skin and Clint hissed out a breath. “Why mine? Technically I have more roommates than you.”

“Ah, but your roommates don't sleep next door to you. Or do you really want my baby sister to hear you make me scream all night long?” Darcy nipped his earlobe with a giggle.

Clint grabbed her hips and pushed her away, unable to think with her mouth on his body. The tequila was blurring his thinking already, he didn't need the additional distraction at the moment. “You have a lot of faith in my stamina.”

“You telling me you’re a two minute man? Cause, gotta say, just not getting that feel from you.”

He grinned and tugged her away from the wall and to the curb to hail a cab. “Trust me baby, it's going to be longer than two minutes.”

“Ah, so three?” she quipped, leaning against him as her body swayed.

“Funny girl,” Clint murmured, wrapping an arm around her to keep her steady. He raised a hand at the oncoming cab and when it came to a stop, he opened the door and prodded Darcy in. He slid in next to her and gave the cabbie their destination. To hell with his roommates, his place was the only really private place they could go and he was too impatient to figure out some other place.

Darcy shifted so that she was pressed tightly against his side, one hand resting on his chest, her fingers toying with the buttons of his shirt. Her lips left a hot wet trail down his neck and Clint found himself closing his eyes and counting backwards from one hundred in Russian in an effort to not lose control. Her lips closed around his ear lobe and she sucked until Clint groaned and tangled a hand in her hair to pull her away.

“You're killing me.”

“I’m finding that torturing you is a suitable punishment for all the shit you've caused in the last couple months.”

“Isn't torture supposed to mean pain?”

Darcy propped her chin on his shoulder and gave him a mischievous grin. One hand ghosted over his crotch, just barely touching, teasing the hard bulge. “You telling me you aren't in pain?”

His hand grabbed her's before she could stroke him again. “Fuck me, Darcy, you got to stop that.”

Darcy giggled and pulled away, twisting her hand so that their fingers laced together. Silently she urged the driver of the cab to drive faster. She didn't want to be trapped in the car with Clint, she wanted to be up in his room, ripping his shirt off and running her tongue over all those muscles. It was a fantasy about to come true. A small part of her realized that it was the tequila driving them, but she really didn't care. She was tired of the fighting, the mixed signals, the worry over “does he want me or not”. She just wanted to feel.

Clint stroked his thumb over the back of her hand and ground his teeth against the urge to pull her into her lap. He wasn't a goddamn teenager and he could control himself. He wasn't going to dry hump her in the backseat of a cab in the middle of New York. This wasn't how he planned on the night going, but he couldn't bring himself to care. The alcohol may have been the deciding factor, but Clint wasn't so drunk as to not know that this was something he wanted. Something he'd been craving ever since that night in New Mexico. Once they reached the tower, all bets were off.


	32. Satisfaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Darcy finally give into temptation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! I must stress that so much. NSFW!

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

 

The cab pulled to a stop in front of the Avenger's Tower and Clint ignored the speculative looks from the cabbie and paid. He practically dragged Darcy out in his haste to get them inside and she just giggled as he hauled her in through the private entrance. The moment the elevator doors closed, he had Darcy pressed against one of the walls, his hand on her thigh, inching up under her skirt.

Darcy's head fell back with a thud against the wall as she let out a throaty moan as Clint's fingers found and toyed with her panties, staying away from the one spot she really wanted him to touch. She dug her nails into his neck and pulled his head down for a heated kiss. Her tongue flicked against his lower lip, a silent request, and when his lips parted with a groan, she sank into the kiss. His tongue teased hers and she decided that it was a good thing he was holding her up, otherwise she'd be a puddle at his feet. Lips like that should be outlawed.

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open but neither one of them made a move to get out, too lost in each other to be paying attention. It was only when JARVIS' voice filled the small box that they sprang apart.

“Agent Barton, Miss Darcy, perhaps you should move your activities to a more private location.”

“Holy shit,” Darcy breathed before she started to giggle hysterically.

Clint swore under his breath and looked up at the elevator ceiling into the camera he'd forgotten was there. “JARVIS, could you, uh, make sure that the elevator recording gets lost before anyone can review them?”

“Of course, Agent Barton, I will delete the last five minutes of footage immediately,” JARVIS replied and Clint swore he heard amusement in the AI's voice.

“Thanks, JARVIS,” Darcy said. “Please, do me a favor and make sure no one disturbs us unless it's a emergency.”

“What would be considered an emergency?” JARIVS asked and Clint was certain the AI was laughing at them.

Darcy winked at Clint over his obvious irritation at the delay. “Nothing less than global destruction.”

“Very well. Have a nice evening.”

Darcy looked at Clint and giggled. “You have to love JARVIS.”

“Only if he deletes the elevator footage. I don't want Stark or anyone else seeing that,” Clint growled as he tugged her towards his door.

Darcy slid her arms around him from behind, her fingers toying with the belt he wore. “You should have controlled yourself better. For all we know, Tony was watching.”

“Are you trying to kill the mood?” Clint demanded as he fumbled the key when her fingers dipped beneath his waistband and stroked his bare hips.

Darcy nipped the back of his neck and slid her hands underneath his jacket and shirt so that she could rake her nails against his bare back. “Be honest, Clint, can anything really kill the mood?”

Clint finally got the door unlocked and he shoved it open. Twisting, he jerked Darcy in his arms and backed into his apartment. A single kick sent the door slamming shut behind them. The excited gleam in Darcy's eyes had him shoving her back against the door and kissing her. She moaned into his mouth as she wrapped one leg around his waist, pulling him into her body. His hands gripped her hips as he thrust against her, driving another moan from her.

Her head tilted to the side and Clint kissed his way along her jaw and down her neck. Darcy's hands pushed and shoved his jacket down his shoulders and he had no choice but to release her hips so that she could push it off. The jacket had barely hit the floor before Darcy was tearing at his shirt, her fingers fumbling with the buttons.

“Good Lord, just how much do you work out?” Darcy breathed as she finally grew impatient enough to just grip his shirt and jerk it apart, sending buttons flying in every direction. She lowered her leg so that she was standing on both feet again.

Clint raised his head from where he was lapping at her neck and raised a brow. “I liked that shirt.”

“I don't give a fuck,” Darcy panted as she ran her fingers over the rippling planes of his abs and up over his chest. The tips of her fingers glided over his nipples, circling and teasing until they were tight nubs. Giving Clint an impish smile, she leaned forward and flicked her tongue over one before drawing it into her mouth and sucking.

Clint braced has hands against the door to hold himself up as Darcy moved to the other nipple. A harsh groan filled the air as she kissed and licked her way up to his neck. Skimming his hands down her sides and over her hips, Clint slipped his hands under her skirt and gripped the back of her thighs and lifted her up. Darcy made a happy noise against his neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled back to meet his gaze. With him holding her against him, she was at eye level and the naked desire in his darkening gaze made her lean forward and brush light kisses across his forehead, over his closed eyes, down the bridge of his nose, and then his lips. She kept them light, teasing until Clint growled. Smiling, she pulled back and whispered against his lips. “Take me to bed, Clint.”

“Better be sure about this, Darcy, because once I get you into bed, I'm not going to let you go,” Clint said huskily as he adjusted his grip so that one arm was wrapped around her waist. His free hand came up to smooth back the hair that fell in her face.

Darcy stared into his eyes and let go of his neck with one hand. She grabbed his hand and dragged it down over her chest, letting him feel her pebbled nipples through the fabric of her dress and bra. Not lingering, she continued the downward path and released his hand just long enough to pull her skirt out of the way. Then she was grabbing his hand and pressing his fingers against her soaking center. The pressure of his fingers made her pant harder as she said, “Do I feel anything less than sure?”

Judging by how wet her panties were, Clint had only one thing to say. “Had to check.”

Darcy laughed and wiggled her hips a little so that his fingers rubbed over her. “I'm not that drunk, Clint. I know what I'm doing. This should have happened in New Mexico.”

“If it had, we might have killed each other,” Clint gasped, pressing his face into her neck to collect himself. After discovering just how wet she was it took every ounce of his self control not to shove her against the wall and fuck her there. He was pretty sure she wouldn't object, but if this was the only time he got to have her, he was going to do it right.

Darcy nuzzled his neck. “Good way to die. God, Clint, get over it. I want you to fuck me. So take me to bed.”

He could feel his control snap at her words. He growled and renewed his grip on her so he didn't drop her and started towards the bedroom. Darcy peppered kisses down his neck, nibbling occasionally. Walking pressed his erection against her center with each step and she could feel the pleasure building. She might come before he even got her into bed. Especially considering the way his fingers kept flexing and digging into her hips.

Clint shouldered his bedroom door open and in three steps covered the distance to his bed. Turning, he sat so that Darcy was straddling him. Immediately Darcy started to grind against him, her lips moving frantically against his neck. He thrust up, the seam of his jeans hitting her in the just the right spot. She moaned and her nails dug into his neck as her hips moved faster.

Hands searching, Clint found the zipper on the back of her dress and tugged it down. Fabric pooled at her elbows as her dress loosened. Clint eased back and unwrapped Darcy's arms from around his neck so he could tug the dress off her arms. His eyes nearly rolled back in his head when he saw her breasts encased in a lacy bra. His head lowered and he nuzzled the soft flesh that spilled from the thin lace.

Darcy's head fell back with a groan when Clint's teeth scrapped against her right breast as he tugged the fabric of the bra out of the way. Then his mouth was sucking on the pebbled nipple and her world dissolved into a swirling mass of rising pressure and the desperate need for release. She raked her fingers through his hair and held him close as his tongue laved at her nipple.

“Oh god, Clint,” she panted as she wiggled in his lap, trying to find more friction.

“I got you,” he murmured as he pulled away. He twisted so that she was laying on the bed, spread out under him. Her dress was bunched up, the top shoved down to her waist and the skirt flipped up. He rose over her and tugged the dress down over her legs and tossed it away, leaving her in nothing but her bra and matching panties. For a moment he could only stare down at her and wonder how the hell he got so lucky.

Then Darcy kicked off her shoes and lifted her leg to run her foot along the outside of his leg and she smiled, full lips turned in a quirky yet seductive grin. “You just going to stand there staring or are you going to get naked too?”

“Just admiring the view.”

“Well return the favor, asshole,” was her quick retort.

Darcy caught her lower lip between her teeth as she watched Clint slide his shirt off. Then his hands went to his belt and her heart skipped a beat. One hand drifted up to toy with her breasts as she watched him unbutton and unzip his pants. There was just something unbelievably sexy about a man who didn't even bother to remove the belt before taking off his pants. Her breath caught in her throat when Clint braced himself on the bed, arms on either side of her, and leaned down to brush his lips over hers.

Clint could no longer hold back the urge to taste Darcy and he kissed his way down her neck, nipping at the soft flesh where neck met shoulder, and moved lower. He flicked open the front clasp of her bra with nimble fingers and brushed it to the side. Darcy arched up off the bed when his mouth closed around one nipple. He flicked his tongue over it, sucked, and bit, tugging until it popped out of his mouth. Moans from the woman beneath him had him moving and giving the same lavish attention to the other nipple.

She clawed at the bedding as Clint pressed soft kisses down her stomach as his hands skimmed over her thighs. The noise she made wasn't quite human when he nipped at the flesh just above her panties before his fingers hooked in them and dragged them down past her knees. She squirmed until she could kick off the panties and spread her legs before he could say or do anything. The way he gazed down at her, like he was a starving man who'd just been rescued from the middle of nowhere, made her lick her lips.

Then Darcy was arching off the bed with a muffled shout as his tongue flicked over her clit. His hands on her hips kept her pinned to the bed as his tongue delved between the slick folds and lapped at the wetness gathered there. Clint did something with his tongue, tracing it over her clit in small controlled motions and Darcy gasped, both in pleasure and shock, and laughed. “Did you seriously just write your name with your tongue?”

Clint pulled away and licked his lips before grinning. “Just wanted to make sure you knew who you were with.”

Darcy's head fell back against the bed as she laughed. “Clint, I'm pretty sure I know whose head is between my legs. It's not like I can confuse you with anyone else.”

“You better not,” Clint growled as his hand slid down to cup her mound.

Darcy's retort came out as a moan as Clint's thumb circled her clit. He pressed and rubbed faster, making her hips jerk against his hand. Her fingers scrambled for purchase against his shoulders as she shuddered and moaned. Clint lowered his head back down, tongue laving at her clit as he slid one finger inside her. Darcy's body arched up off the bed as he slowly pumped his finger in and out. “God, Clint, more.”

His lips closed around her swollen clit and sucked hard as a second finger slid inside her. Darcy keened as the pressure built. Her head thrashed from side to side and she let out a long moan when Clint's teeth nipped with just enough pressure that it felt good, just on the edge of painful. Her short strangled scream filled the air as the wave of pleasure broke and and washed over her. Heart pounding she whimpered softly as Clint kissed his way up to her mouth.

Clint was certain he was being rewarded for something good he had done. Never in all his fantasies did he imagine that Darcy would be this responsive. The taste of her lingered on his tongue and he groaned into her mouth when her tongue flicked over his lips, tasting herself. Slender legs wrapped around his waist and she arched up into his body, whimpering against his mouth.

He pulled away and smiled down at her, one finger tracing her jaw. “Impatient?”

Darcy nodded, licking her lips. “I need you inside me, Clint. God I've had dreams about you that don't compare to this.”

“Oh yeah?” Clint asked smugly.

Darcy rolled her eyes and ran her fingers down his chest and stomach, nails lightly dragging against his flesh. “Don't let it go to your head. Haven't you realized by now that I've wanted you for ages? If you hadn't been so responsible and if so much hadn't been in the way, I would have fucked you in New Mexico.”

“This isn't New Mexico,” Clint managed to say as her hands went to his pants, finishing what he started before he had completely blown her mind with his tongue.

“Thank God for that.” Darcy worked his pants down as as she could while he chuckled, reveling in the fact that he had gone commando. Without giving him a chance to say anything, she wrapped her fingers around his cock. It was hard and hot in her hand and she bit her lip as she traced the thick veins down and back up. Clint moaned and thrust into her hand. She gripped him tighter and stroked a few times, her thumb smearing the precum that leaked from the slit on the head around.

She looked up at him under hooded eyes as the hand not wrapped around his cock moved down to cup his balls. “I'd love to suck you off, but I can't wait. Fuck me, Clint.”

“Goddammit,” he swore at her words and pulled away to kick his pants and shoes off.

Darcy whimpered when he moved out of her reach and scooted up further on the bed to watch as he dug around in the nightstand drawer. When she saw the small foil packet, she held out her hand. “Let me.”

“Hell no. If you touch me now I'll embarrass myself,” Clint grunted as he ripped the condom wrapper open and pulled out the circle of latex.

Darcy giggled and toyed with her nipples as he rolled it on. The giggles turned to a shriek when Clint grinned and pounced on her. Her breath whooshed out of her lungs as Clint settled between her legs. He raised his upper body off her and she smacked him on the chest. “Are you insane?”

“What's wrong, baby,” Clint teased playfully, leaning down to nip at her jaw. “Did that hurt?”

Darcy growled and hooked her legs around his waist, arching up to rub against his cock. “Not as much as you're going to hurt if you don't fuck me.”

“So demanding,” Clint mock sighed. “I'm starting to feel a little used.”

Darcy smirked and shoved at his shoulders while twisting her hips. Caught off guard, Clint went over and hit the bed on his back. Darcy rolled over and straddled his hips while grinning at him. “Well if that's true, let's see just how used I can make you feel.”

Clint ran his hands up her sides to cup her breasts, fingers toying with her nipples. “Why don't you?”

Darcy rolled her hips slowly, rubbing herself over his hard length. She kept doing it, never rising enough so that he could slide into her. Clint growled and pinched her nipples, making her moan. She caught her lip between her teeth and ground her hips against him, teasing them both.

“Darcy,” Clint groaned, half plea, half demand.

“What's wrong, baby?” Darcy asked with a smirk. “Can't you handle it?”

“God, you are evil,” Clint breathed as he ran his hands down her back, making her shiver.

Darcy braced her hands on his shoulders and dipped down to brush her lips against his. “You have no idea. Tell me what you want, Clint.”

“For you to stop torturing me, woman,” he growled, fingers digging into her hips.

“But it's so much fun,” Darcy whispered, licking her lips.

One hand shot up to tangle in her hair and Clint dragged her down to meet his lips. Darcy sank her teeth into his bottom lip and tugged before soothing the pain with her tongue. Clint's mouth parted and their tongues tangled as they fought for control. Darcy slipped one hand between them to grip his cock.

Pulling back, she met his heated gaze and held it as she lowered her hips, guiding him inside her. Clint's head fell back as Darcy began to move slowly, rising until the head of his cock was only just inside her. She held herself still until she caught his gaze, her blue eyes feverish. Then she lowered herself with a teasing slowness that had Clint groaning. Again and again she repeated slow rise and fall, her moans mingling with his groans as his cock stretched and filled her completely. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she held herself very still to give her body time to adjust to the invasion.

Clint held her hips in a painfully tight grip as he fought the urge to thrust up into her. “So fucking tight, Darcy. Fuck.”

“It's been awhile,” Darcy panted and closed her eyes, savoring the little tremors of pleasure that raced up her spine at being so wonderfully full.

He so didn't want to hear about her past lovers so he gave a small thrust up, forcing a strangled moan from Darcy. Desperate for control, she grabbed his hands and forced them above his head. Or rather, Clint let her move his hands. Once she was sure he wasn't going to grab her again, Darcy leaned back, her hands braced on his thighs. She gave him one wicked smile as she said, “I'm going to ride you hard, baby. Hope you're ready.”

“All talk and no action, that's what I'm seeing,” Clint retorted and almost bit his tongue when she rocked her hips, forcing him in deeper.

He forgot about keeping his hands above his head as Darcy rocked and rolled her hips over him, riding him hard. Her head fell back as his hands came up to cup her bouncing breasts. He tweaked and teased her nipples, encouraging her to move faster and harder and she obeyed, her body moving frantically over his.

She was so warm, wet, and tight around him that he could feel himself losing control. In an effort to stave off his own climax, Clint sat up and wrapped her legs around his waist so that she was clinging to him. His hands went to her hips and he rocked her slowly, driving into her without moving his hips.

Darcy wrapped her arms around Clint's neck and let him set the pace. She muffled her cries against his neck as he moved her body, driving in deeper with each stroke. Her body shook as the pleasure built and threatened to consume her. Darcy buried her hands in Clint's hair, tugging his head down to hers so that she could kiss him. The kiss was as frantic compared the pace Clint set.

Clint wrapped an arm around Darcy's waist as he abandoned his control and shifted them so that he was pressing her into the mattress. He hooked his arms under her legs, lifting and spreading her thighs as he deepened his strokes, adding a little twist of his hips so that the head of his cock brushed over her g-spot. Darcy went wild under him with each twisting thrust, her head thrashing to the side as her nails dug into his ribs. Her cries filled the room, soft and begging, demanding more. He released one leg so that he could reach between them and stroke her clit.

Darcy screamed as she came on the third stroke after Clint started toying with her clit. She clenched around him, pulsing as the pleasure swamped her. Clint stilled and braced himself with arms on either side of her head, muscles tensing as he fought his own climax, not ready for this moment to end. Darcy shook as the tremors slackened and she looked up at him, her chest heaving. She clenched her muscles around him, felt how hard he was, and bit her lip at the agonized look on his face.

She could appreciate his restraint and desire to give them both more pleasure. But they had all night and she wanted him to come. Wanted to make him come. Wanted to see him lose that last bit of control. She ran her hands up his arms until she was framing his face with them and she gave a little tug, silently demanding that he kiss her. Clint lowered his head and just as his lips met hers, Darcy clenched and rolled her hips under him. He groaned and she nipped his jaw and whispered. “Don't hold back.”

He raised his head a little to look at her and she gave him a coy smile as she arched under him again, driving his cock in her deeper. She wrapped her legs high on his waist and raised her arms until her fingers wrapped around the slats of the headboard. The unspoken gesture was enough that the little bit of control Clint had snapped like someone had taken a knife to it.

Leaning back on his knees, Clint grasped her hips and started to thrust into her. They were hard, shallow thrusts that ground her clit against his pelvic bone. Darcy cried out as her pleasure started to build again, more quickly this time. Clint thrust several more times, feeling the pressure start to build. He leaned forward, bracing one hand on the bed, using the new angle to pound into Darcy. His head dipped to cover her mouth and he swallowed her cries and moans.

This time when she clenched around him as her orgasm washed over her, Clint didn't hold back. He grabbed her hips and pulled her tight against him as he thrust into her hard, fighting the tightening muscles of her inner walls. His back stiffened and his head tipped back with a strangled moan as he came with a jerk of his hips. Darcy could feel his dick pulsing against her walls and she clenched down, milking him until he collapsed on top of her.

It should have been uncomfortable, having all that weight pressing into her, but Darcy only felt comfort as she wrapped her arms around him, breathing hard, her pants matching his. Clint knew he should move and pull out. He had to be crushing Darcy, but it just felt so good to lay against her. He buried his head against her neck as his breathing slowed.

“Give me a minute and I'll move,” he mumbled between pants.

Darcy chuckled and he almost winced as her walls tightened around his softening cock. “Mm feels good.”

“Yes you do,” Clint agreed as he kissed her shoulder. Reluctantly he pulled away, easing away from her, one hand gripping the condom so it didn't slip off. He stared down at Darcy, who was looking very well used and mussed, her hair a tangled mess, her eyes sleepy. He realized with a thud in his heart that he wanted her in his bed all the time and it wasn't the tequila talking. “Give me a second, I'll be right back.”

Darcy let out a satisfied sigh and stretched as she watched Clint stride naked to the bathroom. “I'm not going anywhere.”

Comfortable she snuggled into the comforter, too lazy to sit up and pull back the cover. Her body ached and felt sated. Her mind was buzzing with the aftermath of multiple orgasms and tequila. She could fall asleep without a second thought. The dip in the bed signaled Clint's return and she lazily rolled on her side to smile at him.

He held up a damp washcloth and she rolled back over, spreading her legs. He chuckled and cleaned her gently before tossing the cloth away. “Lift up for a minute.”

Letting out a grumble of protest, Darcy sat up and scooted back so Clint could pull down the blankets. She stretched out beside him when he laid down next to her and drew the blankets up to cover them both. She let out a sleepy yawn and rolled over to snuggle up against his side. She sighed when his hand came up to stroke her hair. “Mm, feels nice.”

Clint was half asleep already and she felt him nod. “Go to sleep, Darcy. I'm not done with you yet.”

“Sounds promising,” she murmured.

He chuckled sleepily. “You're the one who said you were going ride me hard. I'm holding you to that.”

“Bite me,” she muttered before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

“Next time,” Clint promised as he rolled over to wrap his other arm around Darcy to hold her close as he fell asleep.


	33. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Clint have a heart to heart conversation.

 

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

 

Clint woke up and immediately rolled over to wrap an arm around Darcy. She made a little noise that sounded like a snort and pushed his arm away to drag the blankets up higher on her shoulders. Clint smirked and propped himself up one arm to watch her.

She looked perfect in his bed and he wasn't sure he was ever going to be ready to let her out of it. Seeing her bare shoulder peeking out from under the blanket brought out a possessive streak he didn't realize he had. He could lie in bed with her all day and want for nothing.

Well, almost nothing, he mentally corrected as his stomach growled. Plus, his head was killing him and he'd sell his soul for some aspirin and coffee. Quietly, as not to wake Darcy, Clint eased himself out of bed and tugged on jeans from the night before. As much as he'd like to wake up Darcy in the same matter he had hours earlier, he figured that she'd want coffee when she eventually woke up.

Barefoot he walked out of his bedroom and to his kitchen. It took all of five seconds to remember that he was out of coffee. Swearing under his breath, Clint stalked out of his apartment and to the elevator. He'd have to raid the main kitchen and get back before Darcy woke up. He didn't want her thinking he walked out on her or anything. Besides, they probably had a lot to talk about after what happened last night.

The kitchen was empty when he arrived and he moved quickly, setting the coffee pot to brew while he hunted around for something that could be tolerable on a stomach with a hangover. He found several boxes of pop tarts pushed towards the back of one cabinet and grinned. Between Jane, Darcy, and now Thor, pop tarts were a constant in the tower. Remembering her favorite, Clint grabbed a couple of the Smores flavored ones and tucked them in his back pockets.

The coffee was almost done so he went ahead and poured himself a cup and stood there drinking it while he waited for the pot to finish. While he waited, he dug out the big travel mug Darcy had left a couple days ago and added the creamer she preferred. It was telling, just how much time he spent with her or watching her that he knew how she liked her coffee first thing in the morning.

When the coffee finished brewing he poured it into the mug. Next he searched for the aspirin. He knew that Pepper kept the big bottles stocked in all the bathrooms and kitchens, but for the life of him he couldn't find it. He was neck deep in one of the cabinets, searching, when he heard voices behind him. Recognizing them, Clint panicked and jerked his head up, ramming it against the top of the cabinet shelf.

Swearing he inched out, one hand clutching the back of his head. A hand clapped him on the shoulder. “You okay, Agent Barton?”

“You ever just going to start calling me Clint, Rogers?” Clint asked as he eased down and leaned against the counter. He pulled his head away to check for blood and found none.

“You okay, Clint?” Steve repeated with a roll of his eyes. Oh yeah, super soldier had definitely been spending too much time with Darcy and Libby.

“Fine, you just startled me is all,” Clint muttered.

Thor poked at the coffeemaker and demanded, “Machine, I demand more of the delicious brew!”

Clint and Steve exchanged an amused look. Even after being told multiple times, Thor still talked to the appliances as if just speaking to them would make them work. The first time he tried that with the coffeemaker, Tony had looked at them all smugly and reminded them that he had tried to make the coffeemaker voice activated. Darcy had been quick to remind him that in his attempt he blew up his lab...again

“Thor, remember what we talked about?” Steve reminded the god.

Thor's brow furrowed for a moment and then he grinned. “Oh yes, the machine must be turned on first.”

“Right, give me a few minutes and we'll have coffee.” Steve moved around Thor and got started on making a fresh pot of coffee.

Clint stayed silent, hoping they'd forget he was there. It was extremely uncomfortable to be trapped in the kitchen with two men who considered Darcy to be their adoptive sister after he had spent half the night making her cry out with pleasure. And he had to stop himself from thinking like that because it would be awkward to start sporting a hard on right now. He eased to the left, quietly grabbing the mug of coffee.

“So, Clint, how did things go with Darcy last night after we left?” Steve questioned suddenly.

Clint froze as their attention shifted to him. He straightened and told himself he didn't look guilty at all. “Fine. We went to a bar and talked, worked out some things.”

“So things are well between you and my little lightening sister once more?” Thor asked with a measuring stare.

Clint's eyes narrowed. On more than one occasion he had heard Thor address Darcy as such and he really wanted to know what it meant. But considering he was on the outs with Darcy, he didn't, not wanting to give Thor an excuse to come after him. Now, however, he felt comfortable asking. “What does that mean? Little lightening sister?”

Thor grinned, his eyes twinkling. “Did Darcy not tell you how we first met?”

Clint vaguely remembered hearing some details but for the life of him he couldn't remember. He shook his head, noticing that Steve had done the same. Thor chuckled. “It was just after my father banished me to Midgard for my crimes. I was dazed and confused and I frightened Darcy so she shot me with her lightening gun. I had not known that you mortals had weapons that could take down an Asgardian.”

'Lightening gun?' Steve mouthed to Clint. Clint's brow furrowed as he tried to piece together what Thor meant. Then it clicked and he chuckled. “Darcy tased you, Thor?”

“Yes. Bolts of lightening from a small gun.”

“Little lightening sister...because you control lightening,” Steve mused out loud.

“Exactly,” Thor agreed.

“Well it's been nice chatting but I think I'll take my coffee and go back to bed. Little bit much too drink and I have a hangover. Best I should sleep it off,” Clint said carefully as he started to edge towards the kitchen door.

“But you never answered my question,” Thor protested.

Clint ignored it. He had just reached the door when Steve's cell phone rang. He paused and listened to Steve answer it.

“Good morning, Libby,” Steve greeted, flushing a little when Thor winked at him.

Clint's heart sank. There was only one reason Libby could be calling and that was because she woke and discovered that Darcy never came home. She had to be calling to find out if Darcy was at the tower. He nodded a good bye in Steve and Thor's direction and hurried out of the kitchen. No way he wanted to be in there when Steve and Thor learned that Darcy never came home last night. Clint would be the first person they questioned and how do you tell two men who could beat the crap out of you without breaking a sweat that their adopted sister was laying naked in your bed? Easy answer, you didn't. You just got the hell out of Dodge.

The sun should be outlawed. That was Darcy's first thought as she woke up with a pounding hangover headache. Her second was that she had muscles aching that hadn’t ached in what felt like forever. She dragged a hand over her face and raked back hair that got in her way. She almost dragged the covers back up over her head when the color of the sheets hit her. They were dark purple with black stripes, not her own, brighter sheets.

She sat up quickly, regretting the motion as soon as she moved as her stomach threatened to rebel. Darcy clutched the sheet and realized something else. A quick peek under the sheet confirmed the thought. She was naked. She was naked, in a bed she didn't recognize, and her body ached as if she'd had sex all night. The details a little hazy in her head, she glanced around and felt her stomach sink as she took in the masculine clutter in the room around her. Her eyes darted to the wall and the sinking sensation grew stronger as she took in the multiple bows that were resting on weapon racks.

“Oh fuck,” Darcy breathed as the night before came rushing back. Going out with Libby, Steve and Clint. Drinking with Clint. Kissing Clint. Waking up in the middle of the night with Clint's head between her legs. Kneeling over him, her mouth wrapped around his cock while his fingers pumped in and out of her.

Darcy fell back against the pillows and just closed her eyes against the erotic flashback playing through her mind. She had not only gotten really drunk last night, she apparently fucked herself senseless with the help of Clint. Shit. This had to be why her mother always told her drinking was bad and warned her against it. It made you do stupid things.

Well maybe not so stupid, she thought with a faint smile as she stretched and felt the pull of muscles that got quite the work out. Clint had been pretty amazing in bed, can't regret that. Exactly. Darcy slapped a hand over her face and muttered. “You are an idiot, Darcy Lewis. You swore you wouldn't do this until things got settled between the two of you and the first chance you get you're panting after him like a bitch in heat. Goddamn.”

Letting out a breath, she sat back up and looked around, feeling as though something was missing. She listened, barely breathing, and realized that she only heard herself. No one else was here but her. Clint wasn't anywhere in the apartment that she could hear.

Darcy moaned under her breath and drew her legs up to rest her pounding head on her knees. “Not only did you end up in his bed, you wake up alone. Well this sucks. Where the fuck is he?”

It hurt that Clint wasn't here. Made her start thinking that maybe there really was something to regret. Her eyes stung, tears that welled up but refused to fall. Sliding towards the edge of the bed, Darcy clutched the sheet to her chest and started to look around for her clothes. She'd get dressed and slip out, go hide in Jane and Thor's apartment while she called her sister to bring her a change of clothes. Then she could go home and lick her wounds.

The door to the bedroom opened just as she stood up. She squeaked and whirled, her feet tangling in the sheet. Just barely managing to keep her balance, she stared at Clint with wide eyes. He leaned against the door frame, head tilted as his eyes raked over her barely covered body.

“Going somewhere?” he asked, waving the hand that held a travel size mug toward the dress at her feet.

The smell of coffee hit her nose and she pointed at the mug with one hand while clutching the sheet to her chest with the other hand. “That better be for me.”

Clint stepped into the room and handed her the mug. “Do I look stupid enough come in here without coffee for you?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Darcy took a sip, ignoring the fact that it was still hot enough to scald her tongue. It was perfect, made just the way she liked it. She took another sip and sighed. “Heaven. I think I love you more for this.”

She continued to sip the coffee, closing her eyes to savor the heavenly taste of the life giving liquid. So she didn't notice the way Clint paled at her admission or how he gripped the door knob until his knuckles turned white. The caffeine did it's job and her brain went from sluggish to awake and it was only then that she realized what she had just said.

Cheeks burning, Darcy looked everywhere but Clint as she rambled. “You know, love you for the coffee, not for anything else cause the coffee is great. Really great. Never had better. Coffee that is. Yup, I'm just going to shut up now and get dressed.”

Still trying to digest what she'd just said, Clint could only stand there and stare as Darcy scrambled for her clothes. She turned and bent over and one eyebrow rose. She had been so concerned with covered her front that she forgot to wrap the sheet completely around, so he was getting a very attractive view of her backside.

Biting his lip to keep from saying something suggestive, Clint tucked his hands in his pockets. Again, a preventative measure because he really wanted to just slide his hands down the curve of her ass and pull her tight against him. Clearing his throat, he waited until Darcy turned to stare at him.

“So I bumped into Rogers and Thor in the kitchen. Your sister called Steve.”

Darcy let out a groan, closed her eyes, and clutched her head. “How can this morning get any worse?”

Clint chose to assume she meant waking up with a hangover, not that she was naked in his room. “Well right about now I'd say that Rogers and Thor are trying to find you, which means questioning JARVIS, probably with Tony's help. So I'd say that they all know you came back here with me last night.”

Darcy cracked one eye and glared at him. “I was being sarcastic.”

Clint shrugged one shoulder. “Well it was that or ask you what you meant by loving me more.”

Darcy swallowed hard as she felt the blood drain from her face. She sank down on the bed and stared at her hands. “You heard that, huh.”

“It's not like you muttered it or anything. You flat out said it to my face, Darcy.”

“I don't suppose you'd just accept that it was the lack of coffee talking, would you?”

Clint smirked and shook his head. “Maybe if you had said you could almost love me.”

“Fuck me,” Darcy groaned.  
Clint's smirk turned into a full blown smile. “Did that twice already.”

She gave him a dirty look. “Don't be a smartass.”

Darcy bit her lip, unsure of what to say. She blamed the hangover and the lure of coffee for her slip of the tongue. She'd kept her feelings close and so far the only people who knew the depth of her true feels were Tony and her grandmother. Not even Libby knew. It was something she never had any intention on sharing with Clint, at least not yet. She wasn't ready, he wasn't ready. Now she'd gone and blown it.

She let go of her lip and finally looked at him. Her voice almost broke when she said, “Just let it go, Clint.”

Something was off, Clint realized. This wasn't just Darcy wanting to avoid the topic. It went deeper than embarrassment. He wanted to listen to her, wanted to grant her request. But he couldn't. He'd done so much to damage his relationship with her, without really wanting to deep down. He had honestly believed that she could never return the feelings he had for her that had been growing ever since New Mexico. Learning that the possibility might just be real, well, it wasn't something Clint could just ignore.

Clint met her eyes and shook his head, moving to crouch in front of her. “I don't think I can.”

“I really wish you would,” Darcy said softly and looked away.

“Why?” Clint pressed and reached out to skim his fingers along her jaw.

Darcy leaned into his touch briefly before pulling back. Every argument, every excuse she had died on her lips. Looking into his eyes, glimpsing that almost hidden desire, Darcy realized she couldn't lie to him. Tears stung her eyes as she whispered, “Because I don't think I can survive being hurt again. And Clint, you'll hurt me again.”

Clint froze and eased back. There was something in her voice, the pain, that told him she really believed that he'd hurt again. Up until that point, Clint knew that he had hurt her with his attitude and actions. He just hadn't realized how deep that hurt went. It changed everything.

“You can't know that,” Clint protested even though he knew she was right.

Darcy laughed harshly and shook her head. “I can't? Clint, you have so many fucking issues right now that we can barely go a week without you getting pissed at me for some preconceived slight. You can't even trust me enough to really talk about what happened. You blow hot and cold at a moment's notice. You bury so much that it's killing you but you refuse to take the steps that will help you. How is knowing how I feel going to do either one of us any good?”

Clint bowed his head as her harsh words washed over him. He wished he could deny everything Darcy said, but memories of last week refused to let him. It had been his fault completely that they had fought. Darcy hadn't been pushing and prodding, she'd just been trying to get him to see how much she wanted to help him.

Clint raised his head to look at her, the pain felt reflected in his eyes. “Maybe I just need to know that someone cares.”

Darcy stared at him for several long minutes. The silence stretched between them and the tension grew so thick that Clint felt like he could choke on it. Her face had been blank but as he watched, anger flashed in her eyes, making them a deeper blue. A vague thought occurred to him; her eyes had turned the same shade right before she came the night before.

Then the thought was gone as pain flared hotly on his right cheek. Darcy's hand still hovered in the air between them. Her eyes were glassy with shock as Clint slowly raised his hand to his cheek, feeling the heat of where her palm had connected.

Darcy lowered her hand, which had begun to shake, as Clint stared at her, his eyes wide with disbelief. Her voice shook with controlled rage. “You _need_ to know that someone cares? Because Natasha watching you like a hawk every single time the two of you are in a room together isn't enough? Because your teammates keeping your secrets to protect you isn't any indication of caring?” Her voice broke and she had to suck in a breath before she could continue. “Me coming back after you hurt me by lying. Ignoring every attempt you've made to drive me away. Defending you, watching and feeling like my heart has been ripped from my chest whenever I see your eyes go vacant because you are reliving the horrible things Loki made you do...none of that is enough? You _need_ to be told?”

The tears that she'd been holding back fell and Darcy swiped at them with the back of her hand. She rose, slapping at Clint's hands when he tried to grab her, and scooped up her dress. Letting the sheet fall, not caring if he saw her naked, Darcy yanked her dress on, fumbling with the zipper in the back. Blinded by the tears, she turned, only wanting to escape, and slammed into Clint's chest. She fought against his hold as he pulled her tight, fists slamming into his chest.

Clint had known the second the words slipped out of his mouth they had been a mistake. But before he could say anything Darcy had slapped him and cut lose. Her words were a knife, a knife that inched closer to his heart with each question, twisting as the tears spilled down Darcy's cheeks. His own pain was second to hers and when she started to get dressed, panic had clawed at his throat. He couldn't let her leave, not like this.

The fists pummeling his chest barely drew his attention. He ignored them, holding Darcy tight, hands stroking down her back. He pressed his chin on the top of her head, turning so that he could press his lips against her hair. The pounding stopped and he felt her clutch at his shirt as her shoulders shook with her sobs.

“I can't do this, Clint. I just can't,” Darcy whispered against his chest.

“Shh,” he murmured, rubbing small circles on her lower back. “I'm so sorry. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.”

“You can't use that excuse. It doesn't work that way,” Darcy muttered.

Clint nudged her away and framed her face with his hands, thumbs stroking away the tears that clung to her cheeks. “Darcy, I'm dead serious. I really don't know what I'm doing. No one has made me feel the way you do. And I'm so fucked up in the head that I'm screwing everything up and I don't mean to. I don't know how to act around you. You got me so twisted up that it terrifies me.”

Taken back by the frank admission, Darcy could only shake her head. “Don't do this. Don't say things like that. It's only going to make it worse.”

“No,” Clint said firmly, shaking his head. “I've spent too much time running. I know I have issues and I know I'm putting you through hell with them. It's hard to talk about. I just want to make it all go away and if I don't talk about it, that's what happens.”

“Only it doesn't. It doesn't go away, it just sits there and simmers until you can't handle it and you lash out, hurting everyone who cares about you.”

“I know that. It just makes things even more fucked up. I really don't give a damn about anyone else. It's you I'm worried about. I'm so fucking afraid I'm going to go too far and you won't be there when I need you.”

“I'm always here.”

“And that just baffles me because I haven't given you any reason to be here,” Clint admitted.

“Clint,” Darcy started but Clint silenced her with a finger over her lips. 

“Shh, I'm not done. It terrifies me that if I tell you what happened, what is going on in my head after all these months it will be the final thing to drive you away. I couldn't handle losing you, Darcy.” Clint lowered his head so that his forehead was resting against Darcy's. “Losing you would break me.”

Darcy sniffed as a tear fell, slowly making it's way down her cheek. “You wouldn't, you couldn't. I don't know what more I can do to make you see that. I don't care what you did under Loki's control. It wasn't _you_. The only thing I care about is how it's affecting you now.”

“I just don't see how talking about it is going to help.” Clint said as he wiped the tear away.

“Because, Clint, you won't be carrying it around alone. Talking about it is the first step to healing. You talk about how you’re fucking up and you don't like it, but don't you see? You can't make things better until you talk about it. As long as you carry it around in your head, things are only going to get worse. You know that.” Darcy let out a ragged breath. “Last night was wonderful, one of the best in my life. I don't regret it for a single moment. But Clint, it can't happen again. I can't keep opening myself up to you and having you stomp all over me in one of your fits. It's destroying me.”

Clint felt a tug in his chest, realized that it was his heart, on the verge of shattering at what she was suggesting. “Darcy, don't...”

“I have to, don't you see? I have to protect myself,” she whispered, hating herself. The pain in his eyes had tears threatening to spill over again. “I trust you, more than anyone thinks I should. But even I know that if we let this go on, I'm only going to get hurt.”

“I don't want to hurt you,” Clint said fiercely. “I'll try harder.”

Darcy closed her eyes in defense against the determination she glimpsed in his eyes. “Trying doesn't mean shit if you aren't willing to actually take steps to help yourself.”

Clint had the feeling that he was balanced on a very thin wire and that one single word would have him tipping in either direction. One word would either save them or break them. He couldn't make promises like this and not keep his word. So much balanced on what he had to say next. It all came down to whether or not he felt Darcy was worth it.

He looked down at her. She wasn't looking at him, but staring intently at the floor, her fingers clenching in his shirt and then smoothing out the wrinkles. Memories of warm summer nights spent on a rooftop, sharing ice cream and stories sprang to mind as he stared at her. Debating movies and music, arguing over whether or not Coulson really was a ninja in disguise. Picking apart philosophies and her teasing comments about his preferred weapon. The warmth that lingered after an absent touch.

Feeling complete in her company. The regret that his position kept them from being together, even for a single night. The longing that plagued him for days after leaving New Mexico, the emptiness that chased him for days before he just acknowledged the fact that he was missing Darcy. The guilt that weighed him down every time he looked at her and knew that his weakness cost her someone she loved. Amazement that she could just accept what happened to him and not hold him responsible. The way his heart pounded when she smiled at him.

That feeling of rightness when she lay in his bed, wrapped in his arms. It was all that and more that made his decision. He knew without a single doubt that if he pulled away now that would be it. She wouldn't be waiting when he finally pulled himself together. He couldn't even blame her. She deserved so much more than what he had to offer. But she was willing, if reluctantly, and that was what mattered the most. Clint could lose a lot of things and not blink over it, but losing Darcy? He might as well cut out his eyes because it would amount to the same thing.

“Darcy,” Clint whispered, cupping her chin and tilting her head up so that he was looking into her eyes. The pain and acceptance he saw in the blue depths was almost too much to bear. He lowered his head and brushed a light kiss over her forehead. “Stay.”

That single word echoed in Darcy's mind as she stared up at Clint. In the moments he was silent, she had no idea what was going on in his head. She had stared at the floor, absently comparing the size of their feet, unable to look at him, knowing that she had to stay strong, no matter what he said or did. She hated it, but everything she said was true.

There was only so much a person could take and Darcy knew she was reaching her breaking point. There had been a moment, after the fight in New Mexico, when Darcy realized that there was only one person capable of hurting her so much that it would destroy her. To realize and accept that she loved Clint so much that he was the only one who could completely shatter her. It had been the main reason she avoided him, because the very idea that he had so much power over her had been terrifying.

She shouldn't have drunk so much last night that she let herself forget that. It hadn't been a lie when she said she didn't regret it, because she didn't. The memory of being with Clint, holding him, touching him, kissing him in ways she only imagined, it would keep her warm for a long time, long after the pain faded. But it had been a mistake because now everything she feared was coming to life.

Hearing her name fall from his lips made her heart stop. Staring up in his eyes, unable to hide her pain, it felt like she was dying with no help on the horizon. The kiss had almost shattered her right then and there. Expecting him to tell her to go, it had taken everything she had not to close her eyes.

What he said made her freeze completely. Her brain just shut down. Nothing could prepare her for the overwhelming relief that made her weak in the knees. The only thing holding her up was Clint's one arm that had slid around her waist the moment she swayed. Her head swam with dizziness and she leaned against him, soaking in his warmth and strength.

Somehow she found the strength to say, “Don't say it if you don't mean it.”

Clint chuckled, a low sound that just rolled through her body like thick honey. “I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.”

“Why?” she whispered before she could stop herself.

Clint stroked her cheek with his thumb and leaned down, his lips barely brushing up against hers. His breath mingled with hers as he confessed, “Because out of everything I stand to lose, you're the one thing I can't. Not if I want to survive. You're right, I can't keep ignoring it. It took the threat of losing you, really losing you to make me see that. I can't live if you walk away.”

Darcy laughed. It was that or cry and she was really tired of crying. She threw her arms around Clint's neck and clung to him, burying her face in his neck, breathing in that unique combination of musk and spice that was all him. His arms banded around her waist, a tether of strength that let her know she wasn't dreaming. She didn't realize how much it would make her feel to hear him say that.

She let him hold her, taking a moment to let the relief run it's course. She could feel his heart pounding and felt the slight tremors of his muscles and realized that he was as relieved as her. Darcy pulled back and raised up on her tiptoes so that she could brush a light kiss over his lips, savoring his taste as it lingered on her lips when she pulled away.

“As long as you try, I'm not going anywhere, you know that, right?” she asked, wanting him to know she meant it.

“Yeah,” he whispered, dipping his head down for a kiss.

She pulled her head back, smiling at his scowl. “I mean it, Clint. It doesn't matter who you talk to, just talk to someone.”

“I'll do you one better. I'll talk to two people. Fury has a therapist waiting to talk to me. I've only seen him once, before that mission. I've been putting off a second visit, for obvious reasons. I'll contact Fury later, set up a meet.”

“And the other person?” Darcy asked. “Don't you dare say Natasha cause I'll go get my taser.”

His lips quirked in a half smile. “I hadn't realized you and Tasha had gotten so close.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes and unwrapped one arm from around his neck long enough to poke him. “I'm serious.”

This time a brow rose and he said, “Just what happened between the two of you that makes you so protective?”

Darcy shook her head. “I'm not telling. That's between her and me.”

“I'll just ask her. She'll tell me. But, it's not her so don't get out the taser. Let's reserve that privilege for Thor.” Clint smirked and kissed the tip of her nose. It was liberating being able to touch Darcy without feeling some kind of guilt. “It's you, Darce. I'll tell you.”

Darcy blinked at the rush of love she felt for him. She bit her lip, using the sharp pain to center herself before she could cry. Voice shaky, she said softly, “You don't have to.”

“I know but I want to. If anyone deserves to know, it's you. You're the one who will have to put up with my issues because it isn't going to go away instantly. There's no magic wand for this kind of shit.” He kissed her then, sinking into the kiss, wrapping himself around the scent of her, warm honey and vanilla. He savored it, reveled in it before pulling away and whispering, “I don't want to lose this.”

Darcy cradled his face in her hands. “Never. I love you too much to give up without a fight.”

Clint closed his eyes at the rush of emotion. He couldn't remember the last time someone claimed to love him. Natasha was the only one in recent memory, and that was a love born from mutual respect and trust. He never really let himself believe he could have love, his life wasn't built for love. But then Darcy was shoved into it and changed everything. His arms tightened around her and he kissed her, conveying everything he couldn't say into the fierce press of lips.

Darcy was panting when he pulled away and gazed down into her eyes. “I think you're the only woman who could knock me on my ass without laying a single finger on me.”

Darcy smiled, knowing that was as good as him telling her he loved her too. It would be nice to hear it back, but she understood that some things couldn't be rushed. Clint didn't have the same kind of open affection she did growing up. Love came easy for her, to accept and admit. She got lucky there. Clint may never say the words, but she knew from the look in his eyes to the way he touched her that he did love her.

She leaned into him, content to just stay in his arms forever. But her phone rang moments later and she knew as much as she'd like to just crawl into bed with Clint and snuggle the real world was demanding their attention. She pulled away from him with a regretful smile. “Bet that's Libby.”

“It has been awhile since she called Steve. I'm surprised she lasted this long,” Clint admitted.

Darcy smirked as she slipped from his arms and padded into the living room where she abandoned her purse. She came back carrying her phone, which had already stopped ringing. “My sister is no fool. She knows where I ended up once she discovered I didn't come home. Let me call her back and then we can do whatever.”

Feeling drained, Clint glanced at the clock on the wall and then the bed. “I suggest more sleep.”

“Perfect,” Darcy agreed before slipping into the bathroom for some privacy.

Clint watched her go with a smile and fell into bed, rolling onto his stomach with a groan. Who knew purging emotionally could be so draining? He felt like he had run a marathon. He listened to the muted murmur of Darcy's voice and felt his eyes grow heavy. He managed to stay aware long enough to feel Darcy climb into bed next to him. He rolled over and wrapped an arm around her and pulled her tight against him. She sighed and snuggled back against him. It was only after he heard her deep even breathing that Clint allowed himself to drift off to sleep.


End file.
